


One of Our Own

by Kavi Leighanna (kleighanna)



Series: Years Universe [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, repost, this is really old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 18:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 79
Words: 152,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1195617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kleighanna/pseuds/Kavi%20Leighanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A chance attack sends Emily to stay at the Hotchners. And, naturally, she gets way more than she'd bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A TOTAL REPOST. From a million years ago. Like, 2008.
> 
> I've realized, rather belatedly, that the AO3 series set up is much more comprehensive than that of FF.net. Unfortunately, FF.net will no longer let you import to AO3, thus, I have to do it manually. Since I like the series format here so much, I'm reposting the whole series over here. Then I can add as I feel like without having to mess everything up. 
> 
> As a result, I have not edited this fic since it's original posting. Mistakes are mine, wholly and completely.

She forced her eyes open amid the lights blinking around her, surprised at her own strength, The pain throbbing through her abdomen had begged her to black out long ago, but she’d fought hard to stay awake until 911 had arrived.

“Stay with me, just stay with me.”

She could feel the gurney under her, her body being jostled as the paramedics rushed her to the waiting ambulance. It made her clench just that little bit harder, her body firmly protesting the movement it was involuntarily making.

“Can you tell me your name?”

She couldn’t unclench her jaw or the pain would be just that little bit more real and just that little bit more blinding.

“Emily Prentiss.”

The very small part of her mind that was coherent registered her own name and berated herself for stowing her badge in the ready bag in her trunk. It wasn’t her fault they’d just returned from a case. The EMT must have found her wallet in her purse.

The darkness was fighting harder, insistently invading the edges of her mind as she tried to force her eyes open just once more. She couldn’t let herself slip away, for slipping away inevitably meant a coma and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to force herself awake again.

“That’s a girl, keep fighting, just a little bit longer.”

She wanted to, badly, but her the dark was just too strong for her to fight anymore. The last thing she remembered was someone calling for the oxygen bag before she passed out.

 

Derek Morgan looked around the bullpen of the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit, metaphorically scratching his head. Emily was never late. If anything, she was obsessively on time or early, so to see her desk empty well past nine in the morning was a sight to behold. He’d tried her cell, tried her at home and hadn’t gotten an answer at either place.

“Reid, did Em mention anything to you about a day off?” Morgan asked as he returned with his second mug of coffee.

Spencer Reid shook his head, long hair falling in his eyes. “She could just be late.”

“Emily?” Morgan replied with a raised eyebrow.

Reid shrugged.

Morgan sat down, even more puzzled. A few minutes later he stood again, a different destination in mind. Maybe his omniscient technie would know where his partner had gotten off to. He knocked on the door, chuckling as the blond jumped.

“What can I do for you, Sugar?”

He flashed Penelope Garcia his most charming smile. “You haven’t talked to Emily, have you?”

“Not since last night before she left,” Garcia answered. “Why?”

“She’s not here. Did she mention taking the day off?”

Garcia shook her head, but her eyes were worried. “You think she’s okay?”

“I don’t know, Baby Girl. I’m going to check with Hotch, see if she’s called in sick.”

He came up empty handed with his boss. He’d been a little bit surprised to see the worry that formed on Aaron Hotchner’s face as he answered the question. Morgan sighed. Where was she?

* * *

 

Aaron was worried. Emily was obsessive about being on time and had a squeaky clean record to show for it. She was damned good at her job and even more importantly, she loved it. She’d never missed a day in the four years she’d been part of the BAU. He could vividly remember Emily coming in with bloodshot eyes, a nose red enough to rival Rudolph and looking like hell, then fighting him tooth and nail when he ordered her home to get well

By noon she hadn’t shown and he could feel the tension in the few members of the team that were left as he made his way to Archives to drop off reports. He could see it in Reid’s stance when the young agent came in at two to get him to sign off of a few reports. Around four, when the worry was consuming him and too impossible to ignore, he picked up the phone to call Garcia.

“Find her,” he ordered, indifferent to how he sounded. “I don’t care what you have to do, just find her.”

Half an hour later, Garcia handed him a bright pink file, eyes bright in fear and blatant concern. Aaron wasted no time in flipping open the folder and perusing the contents. Police reports, hospital files… his stomach dropped to the floor as his knees gave out and he dropped to his chair.

Emily was a victim.


	2. Chapter 2

She wasn’t sure she wanted to open her eyes. Her body hurt in at least three places, her eyes were heavy, and her head fogged. There was someone there, that much she knew, but the her awareness warned her of tense, stoic posture and she vaguely remembered the paramedics finding her wallet not her ID.

She’d wager the team didn’t even know she was in the hospital and it was a terrifying notion to consider, especially since they were as close as family. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes, closing them almost instantly and groaning as her head started to throb.

“You’re awake.”

Cultured, straight to the point, void of emotion… it could only be her mother. “Hello, Mother,” she croaked out, trying to sit up.

“Don’t do that, you’ll pull the stitches,” Elizabeth Prentiss ordered. “I’ll get a doctor.”

Emily sighed as she lay back against the pillows, wincing when she shifted awkwardly enough to do exactly what her mother had warned her against.

“Emily, you’re awake! How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” she managed to croak out, her eyelids fluttering. It was difficult to focus on the doctor.

The doctor chuckled. “Sleep,” he suggested soothingly. “Your body is still trying to heal.”

“The team,” she managed to mumble out.

“Team?”

That was the last thing she heard before she nodded off again.

* * *

He looked determined and professional, the rest of the team behind him, and he knew they were an intimidating bunch as they made their way through the halls of the hospital. Aaron hated the sterile atmosphere of most of the wings, but it was a comfort to discover, via Garcia of course, that Emily had been moved from the ICU earlier that afternoon. The nurse looked up absently as they approached, then snapped up when she registered not only how official they looked, but that they were all carrying.

“Can I help you?”

“We’re looking for Emily Prentiss.” He tried to keep his voice level as he spelled her last name and had to tuck his hands in his pockets so the team wouldn’t see how white his knuckles were from clenching his fists.

“Room 621,” the nurse responded quickly.

He was off almost before the nurse had finished the room number and the team rushed to keep up. He just wanted to see if see was okay. He needed to see she was in one, beautiful piece. He’d analyze the intensity of that need later.

The elevator ride felt too long and the hallway seemed a virtual mile, but seeing her, even lying in that bed looking so pale and definitely not the strong woman he worked with slowed his rapid heart rate and unclenched his body just a touch. Morgan was the one to knock softly on the door, not surprised in the slightest that her eyes opened at the sound. He took that as a greeting and reached by Aaron to open the door.

Emily was over the moon. She was so incredibly happy to see each and every face as they surrounded her bed. “Hey,” she croaked out.

“Hey yourself,” Garcia said gently as she puttered around, pouring water from the nearby jug and slipping a straw in it for Emily to drink. “How are you feeling?”

Emily was thankful for the thoughtfulness as she gulped down the water. “I’ve been better,” she admitted once she’d had enough, voice much clearer than it had been the moment before.

“What happened?” JJ asked on Emily’s other side.

“I’m not exactly sure,” Emily admitted, looking around at her surrogate family as she tried to remember. “I was in my apartment complex, the garage. I’d just gotten home…”

“This happened last night?” Aaron snapped out.

Emily’s eyes moved swiftly to lock on his. “Yes, sir,” she responded reflexively. “My badge was in my ready bag in the trunk. They found my wallet.”

Reid touched Emily’s hand to refocus her attention and get her to relax. “Keep going.”

Emily swallowed, her eyes darting to Aaron and his white knuckles closed on the end of her bed. “I don’t remember much more than someone coming up behind me and demanding my purse.”

JJ picked up her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “Take a deep breath and think carefully,” she encouraged. “Go slow.”

Emily allowed her eyes to slip closed, focusing on the comfort of JJ’s hand and her ‘family’ around her. “I was leaning back in to get my gun and purse. I put the gun in the glove box, the purse on the front seat. Always exactly the same places.”

The team watched as Emily’s breathing grew laboured. JJ looked around at the worried faces of everyone around her. “Breathe, Emily.”

“He thought I was going for my gun,” the brunette continued, feeling the tears well up behind her tightly closed eyelids. “Then… I remember him saying something, then it’s all pain. I managed to dial 911 and stay awake until they got there. That’s… that’s it.” She kept her eyes firmly closed, partially afraid to open them and see what they thought. She was a federal agent and she hadn’t been able to defend herself.

Aaron’s hands unclenched slightly as he watched the play of emotions across Emily’s face. The news of her hospitalization had come at him, punching him squarely in the gut and robbing him of breath. Emily, like Morgan, was a pillar of strength and toughness. She wasn’t one he’d felt he had to protect going into a raid or felt was unable to conduct an interview of a potentially violent suspect all on her own. He allowed her to go into every situation just assuming she was good enough to always come out okay and in one piece.

He’d never thought he’d see her a victim in a hospital bed.

The clenching of her body had come as a surprise to him as much because she hadn’t reacted that violently to him since her first few weeks in the BAU as because he hadn’t realized how deeply it had affected him. In reality, he was more frustrated with the officers working the case that obviously hadn’t processed her ready bag yet and found her ID badge. But then, did that mean…

“Was someone here when you woke up?” he asked, forcing himself to soften his voice and stow his anger. He’d compartmentalized before, he could do it here.

Emily opened her eyes, partially in surprise and partially just to do so. “My mother.”

“What did the doctors tell you?” Garcia asked, sensing the tension between Aaron and Emily fading.

“Knife wound, a broken rib and a concussion from where my head hit the pavement. They’ll let me go as soon as they’re sure there’s nothing wrong.” Her voice was surprisingly clinical as she listed off her ailments.

“How many weeks at home?” Morgan asked.

Emily shook her head. “I have no idea, nor am I really thinking that far ahead. From what I understood, I was lucky they didn’t have to do brain surgery.”

“They’re going to want to you stay with someone,” Morgan spoke up, his tone firm. “You won’t be able to do much lifting.”

Emily appreciated his concern and understood he spoke from experience, but she wished he had waited until no one was around. “I’ll be fine.”

“Emily! Visitors!”

A large grandfatherly man stepped into the room beaming and Emily couldn’t help but mirror his grin. “Dr Hann, these are my colleagues.”

The doctor beamed. “Excellent! And they look worried too, especially this one here,” he said, putting a hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “But no worries. Emily will make a full recovery. Now, I’m going to have to kick the gentlemen out, but you ladies are welcome to stay. Maybe the patient will be less fussy if she knows the hands helping to change the bandages.”

Emily blushed and smiled sheepishly. “I hate hospitals,” she offered as explanation. Nevertheless, she didn’t object to JJ and Garcia staying to help. She took a deep breath as Dr Hann instructed both women to help lift her higher on the pillows so he could get a better angle on the forming scar.

“Knife wound?” JJ exclaimed as the full extent of her injury was revealed.

“More like a slash,” the doctor responded. “Then there’s the concussion, but that is minor in comparison.”

“Em!” JJ admonished in a hushed tone. “You were almost gutted!”

Garcia winced. “Thanks for that charming visual, Jayje.”

Emily sighed, suddenly not only aware of how exposed she was but also of how much pain she was in. Her last dose was wearing off. “You guys worry enough as it is while we work, I figured you didn’t need the extra worry of my recovery. And can you imagine Morgan’s reaction if I told him about this? He’d track the guy down and kill him.”

“And we won’t?” JJ pointed out. “This is big.”

“It’ll heal,” Emily protested. Then, hissing as Dr Hann prodded around the stitches, sent them a sheepish smile. “In time.”

“You’re going to have to stay with someone when they release you,” JJ ordered.

“I. Will. Be. Fine,” Emily repeated insistently.

Garcia cleared her throat, drawing JJ’s attention and sending the other woman a look. “I could use some tea, Jayje, think you could go find some for me? And if they have cookies bring a few of those up too.”

JJ didn’t move for a moment, but something in Garcia’s eyes urged her to just do as she asked. “I guess we could hunt down some dinner.”

Garcia waited until Dr Hann had also left, smiling at his orders to press the drug button whenever she needed it. Then the normally bubbly blond turned eerily serious as she looked down at her friend. “Em, you need to stay with someone when they let you out of here.”

Emily closed her eyes. “Garcia, please.”

“I’m serious. Morgan was stubborn enough to stay with me when I got shot and I’m so glad. Asking for help isn’t weak, it’s admitting you’re human.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Garcia nodded. “Until you have to wash your hair because you can’t stand it anymore or you need the ice cream from the back of the freezer and can’t stretch that far. Then it gets frustrating enough that you just want to cry. Or the nightmares haunt you and there’s no one there to remind you you’re alive and you made it.”

Emily sighed, very much aware that Garcia was detailing her own experience after Battle left her for dead. “I really don’t want to impose,” she said softly.

Garcia smiled comfortingly, taking the other woman’s hand. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

* * *

 

Jennifer Jareau was not known for being a particularly violent person. She hated pulling her gun and could only remember killing one person in her time as an agent. So when she stalked down the hall to where the men were waiting, they were all a little afraid of the stormy look on her face.

“JJ?” Reid asked quietly, not wanting the building wrath turned on him. “Is everything okay?”

“Emily’s got a pretty skewed definition of ‘knife wound’,” JJ snapped. “The guy almost eviscerated her, from her hip to her rib, and she calls it a ‘knife wound’.”

Aaron went still. “He what?” He was choking on the words, forcing them from his mouth. Emily could have died and none of them would have ever known because the police had yet to find her badge.

Morgan voiced his boss’ thoughts. “She could have died from that!”

“She probably should have,” Aaron agreed softly, shaking again but out of fear and realization more so than anger. They would not have known. The thought tore at his stomach and heart in a way that hadn’t happened since Haley had left with Jack and started the divorce proceedings. It terrified him.

He wasn’t blind. Emily Prentiss was beautiful and he’d known that before he was BAU. And that was part of the problem. Despite his personal admission of her beauty – and the boss-subordinate relationship aside – he had been working her mother’s security detail when she was just starting Yale.

Aaron shook his head. Why was he even thinking like that? He was a workaholic, dedicated to his job and married to those he’d sworn to serve and protect. Marriage wasn’t in the cards for him, as evidenced by the breakdown of his first and only marriage.

She knows what you do and what you see, his mind argued. Haley didn’t understand. Emily would.

“Hotch?”

He snapped out of his thoughts, meeting JJ’s questioning gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“Coffee? Food?” she repeated.

“Please,” he answered. “Whatever you can find is fine.”

“Well, I know Pen’s picky. I’ll grab her and we’ll head downstairs,” Morgan volunteered, his voice tired. Worrying took a lot out of anyone.

Guilt and worry warred in him as Morgan walked the few feet to Emily’s hospital room. “I’ll stay with her,” he said suddenly.

JJ looked both apprehensive and relieved. “Are you sure?”

“You go find something to eat. I’ll sit with her.”

JJ looked like she was ready to argue, but Reid’s insistent hand on her back and the return of Morgan and Garcia gave her very little choice in the matter.

“She’s in good hands, Jayje,” he heard Garcia say as they parted ways. “I mean, this is Hotch we’re talking about, the crusader against all things evil.”

He knew it was nothing personal. JJ was just protecting their own, the same protectiveness that they all felt when it was one of their own healing. He peered inside Emily’s room, part of him relieved to see her eyes closed. He ventured in slowly, afraid to wake her, but needing to actually touch her, to have physical evidence she was indeed there and alive.

He picked up her hand and then almost dropped it in surprise as her eyes fluttered open. “Hey.”

Emily tensed but didn’t move her hand from his. “Hey. I thought it was time for food.”

“They’ll bring something back. Emily—“

“You’re mad at him, not at me. I know, its okay.”

He blinked and let a ghost of a smile flit across his face. “Well, that’s not entirely true.”

She warred with her body to stay awake. If she’d known anyone was coming in to sit with her, especially Aaron Hotchner, she would have held off on injecting herself with the medicine. “You are mad at me?”

He gripped her hand a little bit tighter. “Why did you lie to us?”

Emily sighed, closing her eyes. “I know how you guys get. I’ll be fine, it’ll heal.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow, understanding everything she didn’t say. “So you thought it would be a better idea to lie to all of us?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t catch it,” she admitted. “And when you put it like that it sounds like I lied on the stand.”

He sighed, a little surprise at her humour in the situation. “You might as well have.”

“I’m trying not to dwell on the fact that I could have died and focus on the fact that I didn’t,” she told him sharply. “We see so much death on a regular basis…”

He watched her eyelashes brush her cheekbones, aware that the drugs were lulling her to sleep. “I’m glad it wasn’t you,” he told her candidly. “I’m glad you’re not a case.”

She smiled, fading fast. “Me too.”

“Go to sleep,” he said, not releasing her hand. “Someone will be here when you wake up.”

He stayed with her while she slept, keeping a firm hold on her hand, his eyes trying to memorize what she looked like even though his mind told him remembering her in a hospital bed was not a picture he wanted burned into his eyelids. He only let go when the team arrived with food. True to his word, even as the rest of the team filtered out, he stayed until she woke up again.

Because he promised he would.


	3. Chapter 3

Emily hated daytime television, but it was really all she could do as she healed. It was driving her crazy. Since she dealt with a high drama job, soap operas did nothing for her. The constant parade of gorgeous, shirtless men couldn’t even hold her attention. She sighed as she flopped back against the pillows, wincing as she pulled her stitches.

“That’ll teach you to ignore doctor’s orders.”

Emily met the usually intense brown eyes with a wide smile. Aaron had been by to visit every day for the two weeks she’d been stuck in the hospital bed and she was more than happy to have the company. Today he was even early.

“Doctor’s orders don’t trump the crap that is daytime television,” she replied as he pulled up the plastic chair he always left by the window. “Still no case?”

“You’re supposed to be resting, not worrying about work,” he admonished. “Morgan’s chomping at the bit to do something.” He settled one ankle on the opposite thigh, remarkably comfortably in the hospital room. By the end of the visit, his tie and jacket were removed and his shirt sleeves rolled up his forearms.

“I can imagine,” Emily responded, her smile still in place.

“What about you?”

The smile dropped as she groaned in annoyance. “From the sounds of it they want to keep me until the stitches come out.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow. “I don’t blame them. I only hope you’ve been taking better care of them than dropping back against the pillows like that.”

She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t pull anything. And I’m bored! They haven’t even let me start walking yet! It was a clean cut for Pete’s sake, they’d have anyone else up and around by now. At this point, any change of scenery would be nice.”

“Well, Emily, you’re about to get your wish.” Dr Hann had impeccable timing.

“I can walk?” Emily asked hopefully, the same question she’d asked for a couple of days.

“Of course not! I don’t trust you to walk with the whining, and complaining you’ve been doing. You are definitely not careful enough with those stitches young lady. With you, I am taking no chances. However, we do have this nice wheelchair all ready for you.”

Aaron chuckled as Emily glared at the doctor. “That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind,” she grumbled.

“Then _rest_ instead of fussing all the time. You’re lucky you didn’t pull one out last night.”

Emily winced. She’d expected the nightmares, a regular side effect of a traumatic event, but she hadn’t banked on telling anyone about them just yet. It wasn’t like they could do anything anyway. The last couple of nights had been particularly violent and nurses had rushed in to wake her up and check her injury. She’d been surprised to find that two of the stitches had started bleeding again from the thrashing around she’d been doing.

Aaron looked rightfully concerned, but Emily was studiously avoiding his gaze. He’d have to get it out of her later.

“I’m sure if you ask nice enough, your nice young man will push for you.”

Hotch had known he’d agree before she turned pleading eyes on him. When she did, he realized that he wouldn’t have stood a chance anyway. “Not too far,” he warned, ever conscious.

Emily rolled her eyes, but had brightened significantly. “The garden? I _need_ fresh air!”

Hotch looked to the doctor, who nodded. “Sure.”

It didn’t take long to get Emily into the wheelchair, something that most definitely did not come as a surprise to either of the men. Emily was very cooperative when she wanted something bad enough and there were only two things she could think of that would be better at that moment: walking and leaving.

Of course, that didn’t include her Hotch-related desires, but she wasn’t even going to acknowledge those. They’d been popping up more and more frequently as of late, especially since she was alone in her hospital room and he was her only constant visitor. The BAU teams worked close and Emily suspected that if fraternization were allowed – and Reid and JJ would just jump each other already – it would be rampant in her own team. And she certainly wasn’t excluding herself in all of that. It was too bad she wanted a man she couldn’t have.

The garden was glorious, the day so perfect as they made their way through the greenery, but for all Emily cared, it could have been pouring rain. She was just glad to be outside of the jail cell disguised as a hospital room.

“Pyjamas,” Hotch commented once they found a bench for him to sit on. He didn’t think twice about helping her out of the chair to sit with him.

She looked down at the light, penguin-printed pants and matching button-up top. “Garcia brought them for me yesterday. I was really just glad to get out of the hospital gown.”

Hotch chuckled. “They aren’t the most flattering.”

Emily leaned her head back, taking in the heat of the sun on her face. It felt fantastic and her eyes fell closed in sheer bliss. The fresh air was a welcome change from the constant smell of antiseptic and bleach.

Hotch smiled at the happy look on Emily’s face. She’d always been anxious in the hospital, fidgety and uncomfortable. Out here, she looked much more at ease. And, he admitted to himself, so much more beautiful.

“Tell me a story,” Emily requested suddenly, leaning her head on her shoulder, her whole body following. Or, it did until she leaned awkwardly and shot up with a hiss.

Hotch moved quickly and immediately, bending over her, hands stroking her sides. “Are you okay?”

She didn’t say anything for a few moments. Then she took his left hand and held it just under her own against her scar. Finally her eyes opened to meet the questions in his. “The heat works like a painkiller.”

“Maybe we should go back in.”

She was shaking her head before he’d finished the suggestion. “No way. The doctors have been cutting back on the strength and dose anyway.”

“Is that a good thing?” he asked, carefully manoeuvring himself to sit again while keeping his hand on her stomach.

“If I don’t want to be addicted to horse tranquillizers,” Emily replied with wry humour. “Now what about my story?”

“What kind of story?” Hotch asked with a sigh, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and gently dragging her body into his. It was the only logical place for his free arm, after all, and the closer she was, the more comfortable his arm was going to be stretching across her body and his.

“I don’t care,” she answered, dropping her head to his shoulder. “Any story. It can be about Reid’s escapades for all I care, just tell me a story.”

Hotch chuckled at the first idea it brought to mind.

“What?” she asked, raising her head.

“I can remember the first case I worked with Reid,” he answered, gently returning her head to his shoulder.

Emily echoed his laugh. “Tell me.”

 

It was a few hours later that Hotch wheeled Emily back into her room, the latter trying to hide her large yawns. She’d actually fallen asleep during one of the stories he’d been telling her about the team before she joined and it had been his cue to return her to bed.

Emily was reluctant to give up her wheelchair for two, solid reasons. It meant the loss of the freedom she’d had for a few hours and it meant Hotch was probably going to head home. Emily lived for the few people that stopped by. The rest of the team came by sporadically, but Hotch had come every day. It had been a welcome break from the mundane routine of her day.

Once she was settled again, her pill swallowed and eyelids drooping, she grabbed Hotch’s hand, and his attention. “Thank you for telling me the stories, and helping with the pain,” she said sincerely. “It means a lot that you still come and visit.”

“No thanks necessary,” he responded, impulsively leaning in to kiss her cheek. “That reminds me, I brought these for you.” He lifted a _Barnes & Noble_ bag from the nearby chair. “Everyone contributed but I think you’ll like the ones at the bottom the best.” This time, the kiss was brushed against her forehead. “Try not to harass the doctors and please try not to pull your stitches?”

She smiled sheepishly. “You’ll come by tomorrow?” She hated how vulnerable and small she sounded, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. She could feel his hand slipping out of hers.

“I’ll come by again tomorrow.”


	4. Chapter 4

Aaron Hotchner was never late. He, like her, was punctual to a fault so when two days passed without word, she started to not only get worried, but disappointed. Books, no matter how touching the gesture was and how thoughtful each of the titles had been, could only occupy her for so long.

She’d zoned out when the phone in her room rang angrily at her. She jumped, fully not prepared for the sound. “Hello?”

“I would have called sooner, but the last couple of days have been busy.”

Suddenly, Emily wasn’t sure she was so disappointed anymore. “A case?”

“In LA. We’ve been meeting with local PD and the Bureau for the last forty-eight hours.”

She missed that kind of busyness. “What case?”

“You should be focusing on your recovery, not on our case.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “I’m miles away, what can I do from here? I think it’s physically impossible for me to strain myself from Virginia when you’re in California.”

“Child sex trade.”

“How many?” she asked immediately, dropping a bookmark in the book she was reading and automatically shifting into ‘case mode’.

“Emily... “

“How many?”

He sighed. “Four, and eight are missing.”

“Wow,” she breathed. “That’s a lot.”

“If he’s following a pattern we’ll be looking for the fifth body soon.”

Emily frowned. “PD doesn’t have anything?”

“The families, a few witnesses…”

“Nothing.”

“Yeah. How are you?”

She took the change of subject gracefully. “Better now,” she admitted quietly, her implication clear. “And I can say, with great fanfare that I have not aggravated the stitches.”

He chuckled and Emily found she could easily get used to the sound. “You’ll be walking in no time.”

“That’ll be a day to celebrate,” Emily agreed. “But for now, I’m still confined to a hospital bed.”

“No chair today?”

She snorted. “Like I’m going to let just anyone push. It takes a lot of trust to put your life in someone’s hands like that, especially when they’re behind you.”

Hotch was silent.

“Hello?”

“Thank you,” he said. “I have to go, I’ll call later.”

She’d be lucky if later meant tomorrow, but she knew the stress of the job. “Whenever you get a chance,” she agreed. “Good luck.”

“Be good.”

That made her smile, even as the dial tone sounded in her ear.

 

This was not getting any easier. Though they had a pretty good idea of who their unsub was, he had managed to evade police for days, snatching two more children with him. He hadn’t called Emily back since their conversation three days prior and, much to his surprise, he truly missed her. He’d gotten so used to talking to her and seeing her on a regular basis that being on a case without her seemed much longer and harder than usual.

The team was feeling it too. Each member played a key role in the way their team functioned and with one member missing it just didn’t seem to function right. It had happened when Garcia had been off recovering and now it was happening with Emily. Morgan missed her like a sister, missed teasing and bantering with her. There had been a few times Hotch had guessed he had turned for her opinion, only to realize she wasn’t there. JJ missed her roommate and another female presence and influence. In a very ‘boys-club’ world, it always helped to have backup.  Even Reid seemed a little off, and had actually jumped when Morgan stepped in on the profile where he was sure Emily would.

“I feel like we’re missing something,” Morgan said in frustration. “Like this guy is always going to be a step ahead of us.”

“There’s got to be something in all of this that will lead us to where he is,” JJ protested, standing at the table with her hands on her hips.

Hotch wasn’t listening. For once, his mind was not on his job but on how odd his team was when missing a member. Without the full permission of his brain, he pulled out his cell phone and dialled.

“Hello?”

“How are you feeling?” He winced. She read behaviour as well as him and she didn’t sound like she was hopped up on painkillers. He could almost sense the change in her mood over the phone.

“How many heads have you taken off in the last little while? Tell me about it.”

“About what?”

“What’s bugging you.”

Hotch looked around at the others. “No.”

Emily sighed on the other end of the line. She’d gotten very little sleep, her nightmares painted across the back of her eyelids every time she tried. She was on a short temper herself, and it snapped. “Fine. I’m fine, they’ll take the stitches out in a couple of days and then I’m free to go. Bye.”

“Wait,” he blurted.

“I don’t have the patience to deal with this over-reactive protective streak,” she said, her voice sounding tired. It spoke of what she’d been dealing with.

 _What are you doing?_ His mind railed at him. _This isn’t Haley. Emily doesn’t need to be protected from the case. She may actually be able to help._

“We found a sixth body today,” he said, leaning his forehead on his hand.

“Sixth? You’ve already found a fifth?”

Apparently, a lot more could happen in three days than he thought. “A couple of days ago. And he’s snatched two more in the meantime.”

“Six dead, eight missing. He’s busy. Tell me more.”

 

It took them two days to track down their unsub – but they managed to save the other eight children – and then another two to tie up the loose ends. Hotch could actually feel the tension releasing from his neck and shoulders as he made his way down the now-familiar halls of the hospital. It felt very good to put the case behind him.

He stopped dead in the familiar doorway when he saw there was no one there. Her things were still scattered around the room and it comforted him a little.

“She’s getting her stitches removed.”

Hotch turned to face the friendly nurse at the desk. “Today?”

“Dr Hann said it was time. She should be back momentarily.”

He smiled his thanks and made his way into the room, settling himself on the chair he usually used and picking up one of the books he’d brought. True to the nurse’s prediction, an orderly pushed Emily around the corner a few minutes later.

She flashed him a thousand watt smile that did funny things to his insides. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he replied, meeting her smile with his own slightly toned down version.

“Outside? It’s a gorgeous day and I could use the fresh air,” she proposed.

He raised an eyebrow at her blatant cheerfulness. “You seem particularly happy today,” he pointed out as he took over the chair from the other man.

“Why shouldn’t I be?” Emily asked rhetorically. “Your case is closed, my stitches are out and assuming nothing goes wrong I’ll be clear to leave in about two days.”

“By yourself?”

She sighed. “Dr Hann would prefer I stay with someone. Guess it’s maid service until I’m cleared for duty.”

“Stay with me.” The words were out before his mind really had a chance to digest the idea, but the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea.

“I couldn’t impose like that,” she contradicted.

“It wouldn’t be imposing,” Hotch insisted. “There’s a spare bedroom I can make up for you, then you’re with someone you know.”

That was part of what terrified her. She hadn’t discussed the attack with anyone since giving the team and the necessary authorities her statement and as a result, she hadn’t spoken to anyone about her nightmares. She wasn’t sure she was going to be comfortable with her boss and the man she had definitely grown even more attracted to knowing that she woke up at all hours terrified it was happening again, even if he may already have an inkling.

On the other hand, weighing Elizabeth Prentiss against Aaron Hotchner left her with a very clear winner.

“It’s a really nice offer, Hotch and I really appreciate it, but-“

“Great. Let me know when you’re getting out and I’ll come pick you up.”

“But-“

“Emily,” he interrupted again, resting one hand on her shoulder as the elevator starts to descend. “Don’t argue with me on this.”

“You really don’t have to,” she said softly.

It was his turn to go out on a limb. She’d done it over the phone, when she’d implied hearing his voice made her feel better. “I want to.” The smile she gave him was full of emotions he wasn’t sure he wanted to identify.

They made their way to the same bench they usually did and Hotch was a bit surprised when Emily pushed herself almost all of the way out of the chair. “When did the doctor say you could walk?” he asked, catching her for the last few inches, but allowing her to seat herself.

“A couple of days ago, the same day you called,” she told him.

His eyes narrowed. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Emily pouted playfully. “I hate profilers. I was walking a couple of days before that. I’ve got one of the night nurses wrapped around my finger and we’d do two laps around my room at about eleven.”

“How long?” Hotch asked, sighing in exasperation.

She wrinkled her nose as she thought about it. “Three or four days, I think. Dr Hann just figured I understood I needed rest to get better and that’s why I’d stopped fidgeting all the time. And I promise,” she added when she saw his mouth open, most likely to chastise her, “There was no risk of further injury. Phil was with me the whole time.”

“Phil?”

“The nurse that was helping me around. He’s been on the night shift since he graduated.”

“He tell you his life story?”

Emily tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “You’re not jealous, are you?” She felt so much more comfortable teasing Hotch now than she did before. The visits had not been from the FBI agent, but from someone she affectionately referred to as ‘Aaron’ in her head. She jumped on the opportunity to treat him like any other guy.

“A nurse should know you shouldn’t be up walking,” he answered, looking down at her from where he stood.

She snorted. “I’m injured, not invalid,” she pointed out. “I just didn’t see the point in holding myself back. Walking meant getting better.”

Hotch caught on. He wasn’t naïve enough to think that the attack hadn’t left lasting effects, nor did he believe for an instant she was nightmare-free, but if she didn’t want to talk about it, he wasn’t going to push. It just wasn’t his place yet. “And getting better is one step closer to normal.”

“They found the guy, you know,” Emily revealed as he finally took a seat beside her. “The lead detective came by to see me last week. He also apologized for the delay in notifying you.”

“That’s a good thing.”

She shrugged. “They think he’s responsible for killing another woman after I was attacked. The police didn’t actually arrest him, the woman he attacked beat him up.”

For a profiler, the self-deprecation in her voice was clear. “You’re upset because you didn’t.”

She sighed. Coming from him, it sounded stupid. “I’m just as trained, and yet, I couldn’t stop him from doing this.” Her hand went to her side. “I’m the agent, and I’m the one in the hospital.”

“No one is perfect,” he said, cupping her chin to ensure her eyes stayed on his. “You are alive, and that’s the important part.”

 _Yup_ , she thought to herself, not for the first time. _Haley is out of her bloody mind._


	5. Chapter 5

She was released two days later with a prescription and strict orders not to over stress herself. The worst part was those had been Dr Hann’s words as Hotch was wrapping an arm around her back to steady for the walk to his car. She’d firmly and stubbornly refused to use a wheelchair.

She leaned her head back against the passenger’s seat, placing her hands over the healing scar. She was glad to be walking again, but it was still painful after a while.

“You okay?” Hotch asked as he buckled himself in.

Emily groaned. “I’m fine,” she said in frustration. “I’m sick of people asking me that.”

He chuckled. “We have to.”

“Well stop. I’m perfectly capable of telling you when I’m not okay.” It amused her that she knew he was raising an eyebrow incredulously. “I am,” she repeated.

“But you won’t.”

“I’m not going to miraculously get better. There’s going to be some pain in the whole experience. No pain, no gain.”

“You’ll put yourself back in the hospital with that kind of attitude,” he shot back. “The doctor’s still have you on medication for the pain.”

She rolled her eyes but part of her heart warmed at the notion that he was so concerned about her recovery. “I won’t over-do myself.”

“This from the woman who was doing laps around her room late at night before doctors allowed it. Excuse me if I don’t trust your word on this one.”

“Your faith in me is astounding,” Emily said wryly actually sticking her tongue out at him.

They chatted amicably for the rest of the ride and Emily was surprised to find they didn’t talk about work or serial killers. It really shouldn’t have come as a shock, after all, they’d spent hours together not talking about work while she was in the hospital. Yet part of her had worried that the hospital acted as a buffer and now that she was out, things would shift or change. Apparently she’d been wrong.

Haley had found a place closer to her parents so Hotch had kept the house they’d lived in. He pulled smoothly into the driveway shooting her a look. “I’m going to grab your bag, then come around. Don’t move.”

“Is that an order?” she asked impishly.

“Yes,” he answered as he snatched her bag from the back. “I don’t want to drive you all the way back to the hospital when I just got you home.”

“You’re paranoid,” she teased, opening her door and swinging herself around. It was all done with her right side and she’d known it would put minimum strain on her side.

Hotch sighed as he saw her wriggling to the edge of the seat. “Patience is not one of your virtues.”

She grinned unrepentantly allowing him to bend and wrap an arm around her back. “So I’ve been told.”

They made it up the front walk, Emily taking most of her own weight but allowing him to keep his arm against her back. Who was she to complain if he wanted to stay close?

“Excuse the mess,” he apologized as he pushed the front door open. “I didn’t exactly get a chance to straighten up.”

Emily snorted as she took in the folders and pages spread across the coffee table. “You are such an addict.”

He sighed, closing his eyes and putting a hand to his forehead. “Yeah.” He opened his eyes to see her aiming for the coffee table. “Emily, you are not cleaning up after me. Come on, I’ll show you your room.” The look on her face told him if he so much as suggested she take a nap she’d enjoy ripping out his insides and she huffed when he waved her up the stairs first.

“The bathroom is this door here,” he pointed out to her. “And that’s Jack’s room when he stays.”

Emily smiled softly as she passed the open door and caught a glimpse of the room. It was decorated with stuffed animals, trains and cars. She’d expected nothing less.

“And this is your room until you’re cleared to go back to work.”

She smiled her genuine thanks as he dropped her small bag on the bed and made a mental note to give JJ or Garcia a call so she could pick up a few more things from her apartment.

“I have to get back to the BAU,” he said apologetically, interrupting her mental to do list.

She waved him back out. “Go, I’ll be fine. And I promise to keep myself out of trouble for a few hours.”

Hotch still looked like he didn’t want to leave and she couldn’t decide if it was because he wanted to watch over her or if it was because he just wanted to be there with her. She raised an eyebrow. “I can come with you if you’re that worried.”

“No,” he answered immediately.

“Then go! I have full mobility in all fingers so I can dial 911 if I have to.” She perched her right hand on her hip, her left settled over her scar. “Are you always this difficult to get out of the house?”

“You’ll call if you need anything?”

Now she was glaring. “If I’d have known staying with you was going to be this stressful, I’d have stayed with my mother.”

The slight curving of the corners of her mouth clued him into her tidbit of teasing. “Ouch.”

“Go,” she repeated waving her good hand.

It felt a lot different to actually be shooed out of the house instead of yelled at for it and he found himself reflecting on the process as he climbed back in the car and headed out to Quantico. Emily had all but pushed him out the door. His mind wandered around the concept for the whole ride.

“Hey Hotch,” Morgan greeted when he returned to the bullpen. “You go out for lunch?”

“Something like that,” the older man said with a nod. “You have the final reports for the White case yet? I want it on my desk before you head to Boston for the ViCAP interview.”

“All on your desk,” Morgan promised. “And JJ was looking for you earlier.”

Hotch nodded as he climbed the stairs. “I’ll give her a call, thanks, Morgan.”

Once the office door was firmly closed, Morgan turned to Reid, an eyebrow raised. The younger agent shrugged as he bent his head back over his pages. JJ breezed in just then, a whirlwind as usual, blond hair trailing behind her.

“He back?”

“You know where he went?” Morgan asked even as he nodded his answer to her question.

“It’s Hotch,” she pointed out. “When do we ever know anything personal?” Still, the question had effectively stopped JJ’s progress.

“This he’s finally moved on after Haley?”

That got Reid’s attention for as much as he was the genius, he could be just as much of a gossip mongrel as any of the rest of them. “A lunch date?”

“Nah, he went off site,” JJ pointed out. “And we know the man is dedicated to his job. He wouldn’t leave unless it was something important.”

“Jack?” Morgan suggested.

“He was too calm coming back,” Reid disagreed.

“Then what made him leave?” Morgan inquired. Then he shook his head. “I’ve got research to do for Boston. Garcia’s been looking for all of the information she can.”

“We might be going with you,” JJ said on a sigh. “They’ve got a serial rapist and they’ve asked for our help.”

Morgan shook his head. “I hope not. We just got back from LA.”

“Yeah, well, crime never stops,” JJ said with a wry smile.

“Too bad.”

 

Emily sighed as she reclined against the couch in Hotch’s house, letting the music she’d turned on sooth the ache in her side. She’d been careful as she straightened up around the place but there had been just enough cases of a forgetful mind that there was now a dull ache in her abdomen.

That was after she decided he worked way too much, had horrible taste in music and that she was going to need to head back to her apartment to pick up a few things if she was going to stay with him. At the very least, she needed a few CDs and DVDs to occupy her time. And sweatpants and maybe a few oversized button up shirts if she could find any in her closet. She couldn’t live in pyjamas and sliding anything over her head was still a painful thought.

She looked around for the phone, thanking someone that her purse had been processed and retured, cell phone and all, and was now lying just inside the door. Garcia’s name came first when she sorted by last name, but she figured JJ might be less likely to gossip.

“Jareau.”

“JJ, it’s Emily.”

“Hey!” JJ brightened immediately. “How are you?”

Emily groaned. “Sick of hearing that question!”

JJ laughed. “They clear you to go home?”

“Yeah. Can you do me a favour?”

“You need some place to stay?” JJ asked immediately.

“No, I’m good, but I do need to get back to my place for a few things. Do you think you could get me there and back?” She was chewing her bottom lip, not used to having to ask for help.

“I can swing by tomorrow. You don’t have someone there?”

Sometimes she hated that she worked with some of the smartest minds in the world. “Yeah, but this is something I’d rather do with another woman.”

“Tomorrow?”

Emily sighed. “Thanks JJ.”

“Sure thing!”

She hung up with a smile. It warmed her to no end when she thought about how much of a family the team was. But she’d think about it later. Right now, it felt like painkillers were definitely in order. And maybe a nap…

 

It felt odd to come home to a quiet house when he knew someone else was there, but silence was exactly what greeted him when he stepped through his front door. That and tidy tables. He smiled when he saw his kitchen was still a disaster.

Since there was no sign of his houseguest on the ground floor, he made his way to the room he’d given her, not surprised in the slightest to find her dead to the world. He moved until he was seating on the bed, drinking her in. She was curled on her right side, arms wrapped around her middle to stave off some of the pain. He noticed the pill bottle on the bedside table and sight. She’d probably aggravated it cleaning.

He’d always had a particular soft spot for Emily, pretty much since she’d proven herself an important and integral member of the team. He was worried about her after they stormed a place, a little more aware of her during brainstorming sessions and briefings and definitely concerned when she got injured. He could remember when she’d been hit across the head and how guilty he felt convincing her to come back to the BAU and the case.

His hand moved without his conscious decision, brushing against her hair and smoothing it back behind her ear. This injury, the idea that he’d almost lost her, had reminded him how very short life could be. And it was a terrifying prospect.

 

Emily was awake and had been for probably the last 5 minutes. A hand was stroking absently through her hair and she could have sworn she was purring. The painkiller she’d taken after getting off the phone with JJ had knocked her out. She had no idea how long she’d been sleeping.

She opened her eyes slowly, taking in the far away look in Hotch’s eyes as she turned her head. It was odd. He looked like he was contemplating the entire meaning of life. The part that confused and worried her was how focused and fixed that far away look seemed to be on her. “Hotch?”

His eyes didn’t change. She wasn’t sure she wanted to snap him back to full awareness. After all, the hand on her head felt glorious and she wasn’t sure if he was even registering he was doing it. She swallowed thickly. “Aaron.”

 

He figured the pill would have kept her out for longer, expected that he could have something ready to eat by the time she woke. Apparently he was wrong. “You cleaned up?”

She shivered at his quiet, intimate tone, but smiled playfully. “You, Aaron Hotchner, are a workaholic.”

“A well known fact, Agent Prentiss.”

Emily snorted. “Well proven by the number of files spread across almost every flat surface of this place. Do you leave anything at the office?”

“They’re copies of unsolveds, mostly,” he protested.

“I saw paperwork from your last case down there. And the last couple of cases before…” she had to swallow before continuing, “my attack.”

Hotch noticed, just like he noticed her eyes were squeezed shut. “I was thinking dinner.” When she perked up at the prospect he let out a breath soft enough not to be heard.

“In your kitchen? Yeah right.”

He chuckled, keeping a careful eye on her as she rolled over. His hand immediately followed hers to her stomach when she winced. “I did notice you avoided that.”

Emily shuffled, trying to soothe the ache that had flared up when she’d rolled. Finally, without second guessing herself, she snatched up Hotch’s wrist in one of her own, tugged her shirt up and replaced his hand smack dab on top of her scar. “Reaching,” she volunteered in explanation. “Though I do credit you with at least rinsing them first.”

He was a little stunned. Sure, it was far from the first time he’d let her use his hand as a human water bottle, but it was the first time it had been directly on her skin. It had usually been on top of her pyjama shirt in the hospital. The feeling of bare hand on bare skin was exquisitely different. “Habit.”

The hand directly on her skin affected her in no other way than relief at the moment. “Still, I’m glad.”

“I have a dishwasher,” he pointed out, swallowing with difficulty. The feeling of her skin was arousing, but it was also the first time he’d actually gotten to see her wound. It was ugly and red, like scars were likely to be as they were healing, but it was proof she was still alive.

“Up and down plus putting them away? Aren’t I supposed to keep things relaxed?” she asked wryly, oblivious to his discomfort.

His hand had started to stroke the scar, his eyes drawn to the contrasting angry red against the snow white of her skin. “Um…”

She cocked her head as best she could against the pillow. “Everything okay?” Her hand covered his on her stomach.

“Fine,” he answered absently.

“Aaron?”

Emily looked particularly confused when Hotch refocused his attention on her. “Sorry?”

“Are you okay?” she asked again, this time pushing herself up slightly.

Hotch nodded. “Dinner?”

She didn’t trust his answer and her face showed it. Nevertheless, she didn’t push the issue. “I’m not picky.” Then he went to get up, but Emily held his hand fast. “In a minute. Then you can help me get up.”


	6. Chapter 6

JJ was definitely shocked when she and Garcia pulled into the driveway Emily had directed them to. They’d been here before, heck, JJ had been the one to convince Hotch to let them use his house for a team barbeque after a gruelling 3 months of cases.

“Why is Em staying with Hotch?” Garcia asked as she knocked.

JJ didn’t get a chance to reply before Emily pulled open the door and greeted them with a smile. “Give me a minute,” she said, leaving the door open for them to step in if they wanted.

When she returned, Garcia couldn’t hold in her curiosity. “You’re staying here?”

“It was either this or my mother’s.”

“Hotch volunteered? And when did you get out of the hospital?”

“Yesterday,” Emily answered. “And he didn’t give me much of a choice. Neither did Dr Hann.”

“He just came in on the day you were being released?” Garcia asked gleefully.

Emily looked between the two women she considered her closest friends.   
“He came by the hospital every day,” she said slowly.

“Every day?” Garcia asked with a gasp.

Emily didn’t understand. “Yeah…”

“I hate that it took you getting stabbed for him to realize you were right under his nose,” Garcia lamented as she climbed into the front seat of JJ’s car.

“I beg your pardon?” Emily blinked. “Right under his nose?”

“Pen’s theory is that we all pair off. Me and Spence, her and Morgan…” JJ explained.

“Hotch and I,” Emily finished.

“Exactly,” Garcia agreed. “And now that he’s seen you in the hospital he’ll wake up and realize you’re right there.”

“Garcia…”

“Not worth it,” JJ interrupted in a sing-song voice.

Emily shut her mouth.

“Why the 911?” JJ asked changing the subject.

Emily sighed. “There’s one thing that’s been drilled into my head in the last 24 hours it’s that Hotch and I have very different tastes in music and movies.”

JJ and Garcia laughed. “No kidding.”

“I was looking for music to listen to while I cleaned up yesterday and there was nothing that jumped out at me. I just need some of my own sanity again.”

“Then by all means,” Garcia said as JJ pulled out of Hotch’s driveway. “Let’s go get you that sanity.”

 

Two and a half hours later, after stopping by Emily’s apartment and a small café, the three women stepped off the elevator on the BAU floor laughing together. Morgan and Reid looked up from their desks in surprise.

“Em!” Morgan exclaimed hugging her gently. “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good,” Emily answered, setting the bag she was carrying on her desk.

“What brings you here? You’re not cleared for duty are you?” Morgan asked suspiciously.

“No way, and if Hotch has his way I’ll be out for another month or two,” Emily responded. “But one step at a time. I’m just glad to be out of the hospital.”

“You’re staying with someone then?” Reid asked.

The brunette nodded, but didn’t elaborate. “Is Hotch in?”

“You know him,” Morgan replied. “He’s always in.”

Emily took to the stairs, knocking gently and waiting for his ‘enter’ to open the door.

Hotch was stunned and a little angry to see her in the doorway to his office. “What are you doing here? You should be at home…”

“Finish that sentence and I’ll glue my ass to my desk chair and stay until you leave,” she threatened closing the door. “I just need keys to the house.”

“Why?”

“Because I locked the door when I left,” she answered, carefully lowering herself to one of the chairs in front of his desk. It hadn’t been too difficult to keep Garcia and JJ from realizing that the drugs were wearing off, but she definitely needed to sit down now that they were.

“Left?” he was genuinely confused.

“I had to grab a few things from my apartment,’ Emily said, voice calm and soothing. “Then JJ, Garcia and I went out for lunch.”

“Then you came here-“

“Because I need a key to get back in the house. No stress, I promise.”

Part of his mind registered the terrifying concept that she could read his reactions like that and he vaguely realized she was the only one who could. He reached into his top drawer and pulled out the keys, setting them in her outstretched hand.

“I’ll get JJ to drop them off,” she promised.

 

Meanwhile, Garcia was filling Morgan in on the rather informative lunch she and JJ had shared with the recovering brunette.

“Any one of us would have offered her room,” Morgan said, reclining in his chair.

“Exactly!” Garcia exclaimed.

“Hotch has a guest room,” Reid argued. “If she stayed with one of us she’d have to sleep on the couch. It makes the most logical sense.”

“He visited her every day in the hospital,” JJ volunteered, leaning against Emily’s desk. “When she called me yesterday I asked if she needed to be picked up and if she needed a place to stay but she said she was good to go.”

Morgan turned to Garcia. “Why the excitement?”

“Why did he go every day? He didn’t send her home, he wasn’t responsible for any part of the attack…”

“Why didn’t he tell you he’d gone to pick Emily up from the hospital when you asked yesterday?” Reid puzzled.

 

“I do not have horrible taste in music,” Hotch protested.

Emily grinned, happy to have successfully diverted his attention from her leaving the house. “Okay, you have _old_ taste in music,” she retorted smartly. “But I don’t see where there’s a line.”

Hotch looked affronted. “I’m not old.”

“I’m not saying you are, I’m saying your music is.” Her hand rubbed gently over her stomach and she could feel herself getting drowsy. She’d popped her pill once she was seated comfortably.

“That’s not nice.” His eyes watched her carefully.

Emily stuck out her tongue as she pulled herself out of her chair. “Until I’m back here, I can be as mean as I want.”

He chuckled as she left with a little more of a swagger in her still slightly limping step. One thing was for sure, living with her until she recovered was certainly going to be interesting.

 

Emily looked supremely satisfied as she pulled Hotch’s office door closed behind her. The complete cessation of the conversation between her teammates made her smile widen.

“So?” JJ asked.

Emily rolled her eyes. “Like he’d let me stay until he was ready to head home.” She jangled the keys. “Do you mind driving me back?”


	7. Chapter 7

“I didn’t know Aaron had guests.”

Emily looked up from her book to meet the curious eyes of an elderly woman. She had gotten into the habit of reading outside in the morning if the day was nice enough, preferring those few moments outside to the morning tea inside. After all, she was still expressly forbidden from strenuous exercise and, for the next two weeks or so, exercise at all, really. She smiled, assuming by the gardening gear she was Hotch’s next door neighbour. “More like a stray,” she joked, stading carefully to make her way over. “I’m Emily.”

“A new lady friend?” the woman asked even as she gently shook the proffered hand.

The brunette blushed. “Colleague. I was injured and the doctors didn’t feel comfortable with me being home by myself.”

The woman’s eyes narrowed. “Injured, you say? And a colleague? It wasn’t-“

“No,” Emily reassured, clutching her the mug of tea in her hand. “It was a random attack, nothing to do with the job.”

The other woman nodded. “Mildred Taber. I babysit Jack when Aaron needs to make a last minute dash to the office.”

Emily smiled at the mention of the young boy. She knew how much Hotch loved his son. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs Taber.”

“Mildred will do,” she corrected gently. If Aaron Hotchner trusted this woman there was no reason she shouldn’t too. She took Emily in carefully. “You don’t eat much, do you dear? And with that job of yours I can’t say I’m surprised.”

Emily hadn’t expected the woman to take to her so easily or so fast. “I’m afraid the pills they have me on aren’t doing wonders for my appetite,” she admitted. “I have been on leave since the attack, so work isn’t at fault in this case.”

Nevertheless, Mildred tutted. “You and Aaron. All job and no time to recuperate. And they wonder why so many of their agents burn out early.” Mildred linked arms with Emily, steering her back towards Hotch’s front door. “My husband, bless his soul, worked with the FBI before his passing eight years ago and he never stopped to eat during the day.”

Emily was too stunned to put up much of a fight. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Nonsense, dear, it happens to everyone.”

 _It almost happened to me_. The thought flooded her mind without warning and it made her hands shake. Emily was surprised when Mildred stopped half way up Hotch’s front walk, her hand coming out to steady Emily’s. Mildred’s eyes spoke of an unexpected understanding.

“If you’re injured and supposed to be staying with someone, where is Aaron?”

“Meeting,” Emily responded with a rueful smile. “He’s been doing half days as much as possible, but crime never stops.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Mildred agreed, letting go of Emily’s hand and continuing on her path up the front walk. “Well, I was planning on doing some gardening, but you need the company more than my tulips.”

“Oh, no, Mrs Taber, I’ll be-“

“Mildred dear, and don’t argue. We’re going to put some actual food in that stomach of yours. Does Aaron have eggs?”

 

Hotch sighed as he regarded his desk. Most of the paperwork he could take home with him no problem and, really, could probably draft Emily into helping him, but Strauss had been haunting the office and he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to get home at noon like he’d wanted. He’d allowed Emily to stay with him so he could keep an eye on her and her injury, but the FBI was a demanding job. As he thought through the logistics of it all, he’d figured that as long as there was no case, he’d work half days as often as he could. After all, she’d proven time and time again that she wasn’t invalid.

But he wanted to be home for her. It had been a long time since he’d been injured, but he knew academically what she was most likely going through. She was a profiler, yes, but she was human too, and he knew that she wasn’t unstoppable. Still, Strauss would kill him if he left now. So instead, he picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“It’s me.”

There was silence for a moment. “Why are you calling?”

“Strauss is haunting me.”

She laughed. “Did you do something wrong?”

“I’m not going to make it home like I wanted.”

“I didn’t know you were coming home until tonight.” She did sound shocked.

“The doctor wanted you to stay with someone. If I’m here, then who are you staying with?”

Much to his surprise, Emily laughed again. “Mildred.”

“What?”

“Mildred’s here. Baking.”

“Why is she not baking at home?”

“She doesn’t think I’m eating enough. She made me breakfast.”

“She made you breakfast.” He could tell she was amused by his repetition of her explanation.

Finally, she gave in. “I’ve been reading out front with my morning tea. She was out there gardening. We got to talking. The next thing I know she’s making me breakfast and teaching me to bake. I’m not sure if I’m more impressed at her baking skills or her endless well of patience. I’m a wreck in the kitchen.”

“Huh.” He had no idea what to say to that, nor did he really know what to think about Mildred meeting Emily.

When he’d first requested she stay with him, there were a number of logistics he hadn’t considered. It wasn’t exactly a surprise, for he routinely had enough on his mind to fill a small notebook, but now that she was staying with him, he’d run into a few obstacles he hadn’t been prepared for. Nonetheless, it seemed like Emily was solving them all for him without really realizing it.

The doctors had asked that she stay with someone so she didn’t over do herself. It was a logical concern and one that Hotch had taken very seriously when she’d accepted his invitation. He’d been lucky that she had been to his home once before, and never in his kitchen for when he cleaned it up, he made sure to rearrange his dishes so that most of them were closer to the bottom than on the higher shelves. He tried to set things out as often as possible, and often left books, magazines or even case files on the table surfaces to keep her busy. He even walked to the nearby corner store to pick up a paper for her, so she didn’t have to go herself.

There were other things he noticed that he didn’t comment on. He knew she took a pill before she went to bed and had a sneaking suspicion it was for the nightmares that haunted her. She wasn’t immune to all of the things victims routinely went through, even though she had experience with other people’s night terrors. Those were things he couldn’t help with. Well, more specifically, he didn’t want to help with until she came to him. Emily Prentiss had her pride and he knew it was hard enough for her to feel weak and vulnerable without him drawing attention to it.

Hotch had originally slated a few weeks off, at least until Emily had recovered a little bit more, but the application hadn’t gone through and his request had been denied. Nevertheless, JJ had yet to agree to send them out on a case. He had a sneaking suspicion it was because Emily had only been released from the hospital a few weeks prior, but JJ swore it was simply that there wasn’t anything really worth their time. It sounded callous, but he understood the sentiment. What it had allowed him to do was to take his files home in the afternoon, putting in half a day and an appearance in the office.

But today, as he’d told Emily, Strauss was haunting their particular bullpen and he wasn’t stupid enough to head home with her watching so closely. It made him feel much better that Emily had inadvertently solved the problem for him by her chance meeting with Mildred.

“Stop worrying, I can hear it over the phone.”

Hotch narrowed his eyes, still slightly put off by her playful nature outside the office. Their friendship had shifted and he knew it, but he was still used to the stoic, cool-headed Agent Prentiss, not the happy nature of Emily. And it surprised him that she was so happy. Of course, he knew all she wanted was normalcy and thus, was sure the happiness was mostly an act. But it was a rather convincing one.

“I’ll try and be out of here by 6, but you know how the job is.”

“I do,” she agreed. “Bring me home something interesting to look at. You keep leaving the boring cases.”

He chuckled, mentally scolding himself. He should have known she would figure it out sooner or later. “Be careful.”

“I’ll be fine,” she promised. “And look, Mildred’s here, so I won’t even have to dial 911 by myself.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Goodbye Aaron.”

He pulled the phone away from his ear as she clicked off, looking at it in surprise. He could count on one hand the number of times she’d called him Aaron. As he thought about it, he realized she’d been doing it more and more often since she’d been injured.

Once again, he wasn’t sure what to think **.**


	8. Chapter 8

A few days later, Hotch entered his house much later than he’d expected. A meeting with the senior agents had gone much longer than he’d anticipated. Such was his life. He almost called out for Emily, but in the process of going to put his briefcase on the living room table found her sound asleep on the couch. He chuckled to himself, not surprised to find her asleep.

He debated waking her, then turned the thought away, heading to the kitchen to actually make dinner. Emily had eventually bullied him into stocking his pretty empty cupboards so he had a variety of choices.

Fifteen minutes into cooking, he heard his houseguest pad in. When he turned to face her he had to remind himself to breathe. Sleep rumpled wasn’t the only thing that looked good on Emily Prentiss. His button-up shirt looked excellent on her as well.

“What are you cooking?” she asked, voice scratchy from sleep.

“Dinner,” he answered smiling as she continued her approach.

Emily rested her hand on his shoulder as she eyed what was on the stove. “It smells good.”

Hotch glanced down at her. “Nice shirt.”

Heat flooded her cheeks. “My pyjamas need washing and I can’t pull anything over my head,” she explained. “I would have asked but I figured explaining it would worry you.”

It made sense. “I can look for some other ones and put your pyjamas in the wash tonight,” he volunteered.

She made a contented thankful sound, tiredly resting her head against his shoulder. “Can I help?”

“You’re falling asleep on my shoulder,” he pointed out. “How much help are you going to be?”

“I’m fine,” she contradicted, stifling a yawn. “I took two pills instead of one, that’s all.”

She was candid and touchy when drugged, just as she tended to be once she consumed a few drinks. He wrapped an arm around her to support her, fearing she would collapse if he let her go. “It was that bad?”

“I shouldn’t have to take another one before bed,” she replied. She felt her eyes falling closed, comfortable against him.

He chuckled. “I’m not sure you’ll be eating before bed at this rate.”

Emily hummed. “I’m just not awake yet. I’ll be fine.”

“Go to bed.”

“No.”

“I’ll wake you up when dinner’s ready.”

Emily narrowed her eyes. “I don’t trust you.”

In the ensuing silence, Hotch was sure Emily had fallen asleep. When he turned to shift her into his arms to carry her to bed, he was surprised to find her wide awake. He relented. “Set the table?”

She moved slowly, but methodically and Hotch couldn’t help but think of what it would be like to have her around all the time. Haley had been very family driven and, in the end, that had what had driven the wedge between them. He loved his family, but he couldn’t get Haley to understand that he went out there to save the world from the worst monsters. And by saving the world, he saved his family.

He knew Emily understood that need. None of them were particularly stupid enough not to profile each other. It was an unwritten rule, but they did it nonetheless. They just never told any body they did. And so, he took his comparisons of Emily and Haley with a grain of salt. They were black and white, literally and figuratively speaking, but Hotch also knew Emily was not a permanent fixture in his home.

What startled him was the double beat his heart did at that thought. He’d always known that she would, eventually, have to go home. He didn’t know when that would be, hoped it would be a while in coming yet, but he knew it would have to happen. Then he’d be coming back to an empty house, just like he had been doing since Haley had moved out. It startled him to think about it. He didn’t like the idea of coming home to nothing. He’d started taking for granted that Emily would be here when he came home.

“You look like the world just sat on your shoulders.”

Her quiet voice startled him and he realized she’d finished with the table and was leaning against the counter again. “Why don’t you sit down, before you fall down?”

“Because I can’t see your face when I sit over there and you have a terrible poker face.”

The candour still shocked him. “I do not.”

“Do too,” she said through chuckles. “Especially for a shining member of the BAU.”

He smiled, though didn’t meet the eyes he could feel fixed on him. “Maybe I just have a terrible poker face _to_ another shining member of the BAU.”

She blushed. “I bullied my way in.”

“You’re fishing for compliments,” he returned, sliding into the same ease they’d developed in the hospital. He liked it when their guards were down. In fact, he preferred it that way. Because of the time they worked together, there was too much he didn’t know about his team that a regular team leader would. In some ways it wasn’t surprising. After all, the BAU inadvertently put their insecurities out for the other agents to see. It made sense that they’d hide their private lives.

“Am not,” she responded. “I’m making a point.”

“You’re an integral member of the team and you know it,” he shot back, voice mildly scolding. “The first case we went on after… Well… afterwards…” Much to his surprise, it was still difficult to step back and talk about the events as someone who wasn’t around at the time. They’d been so close to losing her. “Morgan kept looking for you, turning as if turning to you only to remember you weren’t there.”

She settled a gentle hand on his arm. “I’ll be back soon.”

He still wasn’t sure if he liked that idea or not. It would be a welcome relief to have his regular team dynamics back, but normalcy, though coveted, could come with it’s downsides. Now he did look at her, smiling. “You’ll be back to normal in no time.” A deep, dark part of him hoped he wasn’t just imagining the flit of _something_ in her eyes.

She sighed. “No time.”

Hotch caught her eyes. “Is there something you’re not telling me?” There were lots of things she wasn’t telling him. The nightmares, the frustration he knew she was feeling at her inability to reach high shelves, the overall feeling of needing to rely on someone else for things she was so used to doing herself were sure to break free soon. He tried to encourage her with his eyes.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Emily responded, ever the diplomat’s daughter. Never be an inconvenience, never step on anyone’s toes, act the part.

“Have a seat. Dinner’s ready.”

She eyed him warily for a few moments, wondering if he was really just going to let it go that easy. She wasn’t stupid and as much as she never wished it, she wasn’t perfect either. Things were going to slip through the cracks, weaknesses she hadn’t counted on. It was starting to become very hard to stay strong, but she didn’t necessarily want to unload it all on her boss. That wasn’t fair to Hotch and it wasn’t fair to the team.

They shot small talk over the table while they ate, Emily considerably less than Hotch, though it was no surprise. Emily had been dead honest when she’d said the pills did bad things for her appetite, and she still wasn’t fully awake. She collected their dishes when they were done, though took her time to stand up to take them to the sink. Hotch caught her half way there, an arm around her body, the other supporting the plates in her hand.

“Go have a shower, get into bed,” he suggested softly. “You’re going to do more harm than good down here. I’ll clean up.”

“But you cooked,” Emily protested.

“And for one night, I can cook and clean up. Go.”

She relinquished the plates with a heavy sigh before making her way up the stairs. She preferred showering at night, really, though on office days she didn’t mind showering in the morning. Morning showers meant prettier hair, but night showers meant sleeping just that little bit later.

Since Hotch had the master bathroom, her things had started accumulating in the hall bathroom. She’d withheld from doing it in the first few weeks because she was afraid of the place starting to feel like home. Eventually, convenience had won out. Her robe now hung on the back of the door, her toothbrush and toothpaste lay happily beside the sink and her shampoo, conditioner and bath gel sat along the edge of the tub.

Emily started the water with a sigh, trying to keep her eyes open. She hadn’t taken two pills in almost a week, though she had been taking it much easier than she had that particular day. She’d taken it upon herself to do the weekly clean up, a sort of payment for letting her stay, and had over done it just a bit. Her body was trying to get her to sleep off the edge of the drugs, but she resisted valiantly.

The water felt fantastic on her body, as it did every time she got in the shower. She always felt dirty these days, though she was pretty sure that was mainly because she spent her days lounging around in her pyjamas. Either that or her hair. Her body didn’t take many awkward twists or turns to clean, but trying to wash her hair one handed was not a task she enjoyed. Eventually, she gave up.

Emily growled and swore as she stepped out of the shower. She’d been remarkably resourceful when it came to bodily hygiene, but it was still difficult to raise her left arm above her head. It had posed a problem in washing her hair. Up to this point, she’d managed to do a half-assed job of it.

“Emily?”

She froze. She was still in her towel, her right arm holding another one in her very much not-drying hair. “Yeah?”

“Is everything okay?”

Emily closed her eyes. She’d hoped her exclamation hadn’t been loud enough for him to hear. Of course, she also assumed he was still downstairs cleaning up after dinner. “Fine,” she lied, hoping he couldn’t hear her gritting her teeth as she tried to rigorously dry her hair.

He sighed on the other side of the door. “I won’t ask again.” Like she’d pointed out earlier, he was a shining member of the Behavioural Analysis Unit for goodness sakes. She must know he’d only been turning a blind eye to the struggles she went through.

“It’s nothing,” she sighed finally. “Stupid vanity.”

The frustration came through clear as day, as much in her voice as in her choice of words, and he had to bite back a smile. He’d known there was going to be logistical issues with everyday tasks and he’d bided his time, hoping she’d just ask for help. But Emily was independent and stubborn. “Would you like some help with your hair?”

Emily looked at the door in surprised confusion. She’d been careful to hide this particular issue as best she could and it was a shock to her system to realize she hadn’t done as good of a job as she’d hoped. Not to mention the shock of his offer of help.

“Emily?”

Her hair was dripping, her scalp perpetually itchy from her inability to give it the usual thorough cleaning and she had Aaron Hotchner standing on the other side of the door, offering to help. In the ever-waging battle between dignity and comfort, comfort had won this particular battle.

He almost jumped away from the door when he heard the lock turn, but, taking a deep breath and steadying himself for what was coming, he turned the handle. Reflexively, he closed his eyes. Despite his attraction to her, he wasn’t going to use his offer as a chance to ogle her. “Emily?”

She was bright red with admiration at his gallantry. Instead of guiding him with her voice, she gently took his hands. “Here. I have a towel, you can open your eyes.”

His mind played funny games with him and the knowledge that she was only in a towel, but his caring, alpha male side won out over the libido and he kept his eyes closed. He heard her chuckle though the underlying shake gave him comfort. She was just as nervous as he was.

“I won’t file a harassment suit. You’re going to hurt both of us if you’re going to do this with your eyes closed.”

She made a very good point. Slowly, he cracked his eyes open. Sure enough, the towel was rather effectively wrapped around her, hiding her from cleavage to mid-thigh. “How are we going to do this.”

Emily bit her lip as she thought about it. “I figured you had an idea.”

He sighed. She couldn’t lean back without stretching her wound, that much he knew. “Can you lean forwards?”

She nodded, teeth still gnawing on her lip. It was ridiculously distracting, but telling her that would be exposing his own secret. “How far.”

“Forwards is better than backwards.”

“How far.”

Her right shoulder shrugged.

He sighed, trying to ignore how they still held hands. He was good, but even stoic Aaron Hotchner wasn’t a saint. He had to remove contact with her, even for a moment, to gather his bearings again. Hotch sighed, heading for the tub and turning on the spray. At that particular moment, he was thanking God that the showerhead came off. “C’mere.”

Emily stepped toward him, now free hands clutching the towel at her cleavage.

“Tell me if you start to hurt,” he warned her as he guided her forward to tilt her head down, gently and carefully running the water over her head. He secured the showerhead and reached for her shampoo, squeezing a liberal amount into his hand.

He was careful and gentle, massaging her head as he worked the suds down to the roots. She had a feeling this was going to be the best wash her hair had gotten since the last time she’d had time to hit the salon. She heard him wash his hands off before the warm water slid over her head and down her neck. Her eyes closed, and she let her body relax for a moment before remembering she was standing.

“Whoa,” Hotch said, dropping the showerhead to catch her around the side. “You okay?”

She chuckled self-consciously. “Forgot I was standing.” His arm shook around her and she knew he was laughing. She released the edge of her towel from one hand to slap at his stomach and sides.

“Okay, okay,” he said through the laughter, grabbing her hand and reaching with the other hand for the showerhead again. “Conditioner?”

“If it’s okay?”

When was she going to realize it wasn’t an inconvenience and he only wanted to help? Gently, Hotch squeezed out her hair before directing her to stand tall. He gave her a minute to catch her bearings again, before going about combing the conditioner through her dark strands. He was trying to ignore how intimate it was to wash Emily’s hair, how careful he had to be because it was someone else’s hair and how much trust she was putting in him at that moment.

They were both silent as he finished washing out the conditioner, squeezing her hair gently again before wrapping it in a towel.

“You are a savior,” Emily said immediately, relief and gratitude obvious in her voice. “You have no idea how nice it is to actually have clean hair.”

“It’s no problem,” he said sincerely. “I’ll help you comb it out when you’re ready.”

“You don’t-“ She stopped dead seeing the look on his face. She blushed. She wasn’t used to this much help. “That would be fantastic.”

He watched her turn to go, probably to put on her pajamas, then she stopped, right at the same time he realized said pajamas were in the wash.

“Do you mind if I hang onto that shirt?” she asked, embarrassment painting her cheeks red. “I’ll wash and iron it myself, but it’s going to be the easiest thing to sleep in. I only have one pair of pajamas with a button-up shirt.”

He was nodding before Emily finished her explanation. However he could make this less painful or embarrassing for her, Hotch was willing to do it. “I’ll do a laundry load tonight.” He figured she’d be more comfortable in her own pajamas than his too-large shirt. Still, it had been quite the sight to behold.

Emily’s smile conveyed every ounce of gratitude and relief at his help. “Thank you.”

Hotch held her eyes, trying to tell her how much it meant that she’d let him be such a big part of her recovery. “Anything you need.”

Too bad she’d never know how far that _anything_ went.


	9. Chapter 9

Emily forced her eyes open as blood and death danced across the back of her eyelids. It wasn’t her nap that was keeping her from sleeping, it was the nightmares. It was a repeat playlist of terror across her mind’s eye. The drugs usually allowed her a dreamless sleep, but she’d been trying to cut back and, true to her word, hadn’t taken one before she’d gone to bed. The stubborn streak in her wouldn’t let her take one until she was in pain or until the 8 hour mark had passed. And even then she wasn’t sure she wanted to take another one after taking two that afternoon.

It made for a very uncomfortable night.

Around 4am she crawled out of bed, finally giving up. It was kind of silly to take a pill then when she didn’t feel any burning or an uncomfortable ache in her side. So instead, she quietly made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Maybe tea would make the nightmares go away.

 

Hotch groaned and rolled over, away from the vibrating light of his cell phone. This was the last thing he needed with Emily recovering. But at 4am, the only thing it could be was JJ calling him with a case.

“I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t urgent.”

He took perverse pleasure in the fact that even JJ sounded incredibly pissed about having to wake up so early and spread the word. “How urgent.”

“Politics.”

Code word for VIP death. Hotch sighed. He was tempted to tell her to just tell the cops to look into the connections of the people, but that wouldn’t be fair to JJ and it wouldn’t be polite of Aaron Hotchner or the department. And if Hotch was one thing it was perpetually polite. He sighed. “I’ll be there soon.”

“I’m sorry, Hotch.”

He knew she was. He kicked off the sheets with a heavy sigh, upset beyond measure that he was going to have to leave Emily alone in the house for days. Sure, she didn’t exactly need a babysitter, but it was obvious there were after effects that still made her life difficult. Their hair washing adventure the evening before had been the perfect example. He’d just have to rely on Garcia to check in and Mildred to come over, not to mention checking on her himself. He wasn’t going to start analyzing how upset he was to have to go on another case without her.

His shower woke him somewhat, but did nothing to lighten his mood. His movements were mechanical as he put on his suit and tied his tie. He tried to move quietly, tiptoeing down the stairs. He was surprised to find the kitchen light already on. Out of courtesy, he knocked on the doorframe so as not to spook Emily.

“Why are you up?”

She didn’t even look up from her mug. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Hotch was too annoyed and tired to beat around the bush. “Nightmares?” he asked, setting about making coffee. When he turned to face her it was all written in her eyes. Either she was just too tired to fight or too tired of the nightmares to hide them anymore.

“The pills help.” He helped her wash her hair, at this point, hiding the nightmares didn’t seem worth it.

“But you didn’t take one before bed.”

Emily shook her head.

He felt worse about leaving for the case.

“Office?”

“Case.” He felt even worse when she deflated.

“What happened?”

He shrugged, conveying his lack of details. “Politics.”

Her smile was ironic. “I hate politics.”

The irony wasn’t lost on Hotch and he smiled. “Right now, I do too.”

They sat in silence while the coffee dripped into the carafe, Emily’s fingers fidgeting with the handle of her mug. She couldn’t tell him she didn’t want him to go. That wouldn’t be fair to him, the team or the force they were about to help. And affirming his suspicions about the nightmares had been enough personal revelation for the time being. He didn’t need to see her any weaker than he did.

“Tell me,” Hotch requested softly. “About the nightmares.”

Emily took a deep breath. “There’s not much to tell,” she admitted honestly. “It’s always a variation on the same theme. Sometimes I know the guy, sometimes it’s in the middle of the bullpen and no body comes to help.”

To him, the latter would be more terrifying than the former. Since she hadn’t pulled away – if anything, she took more liberties since they were out of the office – he assumed the terrors where she knew her attacker did not involve him. He doubted it involved any member of the team either. The team was family, pure and simple.

“Academically I know they’re not real,” she said softly, eyes still on her mug. “I know that I’m safe, I know I’m healing. But in my dreams…”

“Anything’s possible.”

“The worst thing is… I’m completely helpless.”

“In your dreams?”

Emily nodded. “And in reality. I can’t stop them. Except with the pills and I don’t want to rely on drugs to get me through the night. The pain, I don’t remind relying on them for, but to take them because I can’t keep death and gore out of my mind…” She shrugged helplessly.

His heart was clenching painfully in his chest. Hotch wasn’t used to Emily being helpless. She was anything but, really. But part of him understood the sentiment. “When do you wake up.”

Her eyes were hollow when they met his. “When I’m dead.”

 

Hotch ran a hand over his face as he boarded the BAU jet, on their way to Miami for yet another brutal case. At least their unsub was making it easy to figure out the type of girl he chose. _Or boy_ , he corrected himself. The rich, the party-hearty, the trust fund babies of Miami’s elite. Miami’s FBI had been called in when Miami’s senator had lost his baby girl, though Hotch wasn’t sure the man would know his daughter’s habits at all. He wished Emily was back to work so she could play politics with him. She hated it, but she was damned good at it. And it would have been nice to have the daughter of both a senator and an ambassador along for the ride.

And her words were still ringing in his head. He knew he wasn’t all in on this case. Half of his mind was back at home with the woman who couldn’t sleep for fear of dying. He’d had no idea what to tell her after that particular revelation. His heart had stopped at her words and the look in her eyes.  That wasn’t the happy Emily that had been staying with him at all. On the contrary, they were the eyes of a woman who was just plain tired. He’d been wondering when the control would snap, but he most definitely hadn’t been prepared for it when it did.

He missed the look his teammates exchanged.

“Hey Hotch, everything okay?” Morgan asked.

He looked up, startled by the question. “Yeah,” he replied reflexively. He settled back against the leather of the seats, trying to push the distractions out of his head. “Let’s go over this again.”

“They’re not random,” Morgan offered, taking the seat across from Hotch. “This guy knows the habits of each of his victims. He has to.”

Abductions weren’t difficult to carry out at a crowded club, but all of Miami’s elite had bodyguards and handlers that followed them everywhere. Their only job was to keep a close eye on the celebutante they’d been hired to watch. The kids he’d killed had the hired bodyguards and still ended up dead.

“He likes a challenge,” JJ said, sarcasm in her voice. “At night, busy club, lots of witnesses.”

“Trust?” Morgan offered. “They go with the guy?”

“He’s not picky about gender,” Reid added. “No sexual component.”

Months without a full team didn’t make them feel any better about how small they felt. They didn’t have the manpower they were used to with Gideon gone and Emily out of commission.

“What does he want from them?”

“Money?” Morgan asked.

“It would make more sense if they’d kidnapped the victims,” JJ replied with a shake of her head. “There’s no contact with the parents at all. Nothing.”

Hotch sighed, His head was nowhere near this case. “Let’s wait until we land, talk to the PD, see what the parents have in common.”

Morgan and JJ exchanged a look. “I’ll get Garcia to start looking, see if there’s an electronic trail.”

Hotch nodded. It was going to be a long case.

“Hello?” Emily answered the ringing phone.

“What deep dark secret can you tell me about the all fantastic Aaron Hotchner?”

Emily laughed at Garcia’s cajoling voice. “It wouldn’t be a secret if I told you.”

“You’re no fun,” Garcia pouted. “What use are you as an insider if you’re not going to give me the information?”

Emily yawned, unable to hold it in. Four in the morning would always be way too early for her. “Is there a reason you’re calling?”

“I can’t just call to talk to you?”

Emily blinked. That was something she hadn’t expected. “You’re checking up on me?”

“What? You’re paranoid.”

“I’m tired,” Emily admitted, rubbing her fingers over her forehead.

“Hotch keeping you up late?”

“Not funny.”

But Garcia was already cackling. “How are you doing?” She was suddenly serious again.

“Coping.” That was the honest truth, even if she wasn’t coping that well at the moment.

“And now that our crime fighters are off to save the world?”

“Still coping,” Emily said with a chuckle. What else could she do?

“Well, you and I are going for lunch, my lovely dear injured friend.”

“You don’t want to stay in your bunker? They’re off on a case.”

“Miami, Florida. Think of this as my way of getting them back for not letting me tag along for the ride.”

Emily chuckled. Thank God for Penelope Garcia.

“I’ll be by around noon to pick you up, kay? You pick the restaurant and we’ll call it a business lunch.”

“That’s abuse of the system.”

“You’re spending too much time with dear Hotch.”

“What does that mean?” Emily asked in confusion.

“Abuse of the system? Please. You’re staying with your hot boss while you recover from a non-work-related injury. Talk about abuse of the system.”

“He offered!”

“Sure he did. Look, Precious, I gotta go. The bat phone’s ringing.”

Emily sighed. Someday she’d learn not to argue with Garcia. The uselessness of it was often lost on her. “Give me a call when you’re on your way over.”

“Deal. Garcia out.”


	10. Chapter 10

Emily relaxed in the seat of Esther as Penelope drove, thankful to be out of the house for a change. Hotch may throttle her, but the few hours in Penelope’s company was a welcome break from movies and music. There wasn’t even anything left to clean in Hotch’s house, and she’d ransacked his books days before. She was quite effectively bored. And starting to get cabin fever.

Plus, new memories were always a good way to attempt to fight off bad ones.

“You sure there’s no dirt you can give me on Boss Man?” Penelope begged for the hundredth time.

“Pen…” Emily’s tone was affectionate warning. She knew and loved the blond, but Penelope was their team’s gossip specialist. She knew anything she said would get back to Morgan and she really didn’t want to be blamed for a team fallout because she’d let something slip. “How would JJ feel if she knew you were gossiping without her?”

Penelope didn’t even look phased. “She’ll be fine when I tell her the juicy bits. You know Jayje.”

“What is there to tell? It’s not like I can tell you all the dirty things he does to me at night.”

Penelope almost swerved the car off the road. She shot Emily an apologetic look when she glared, a hand on her side. “Sorry! How else do you expect me to react to something like that?”

“With calm detachment?” Emily suggested. “You know it’s not true.”

“I don’t know anything anymore,” Penelope shot back, her voice slightly superior. “Now that Hotch comes home to you every night it’s like you’ve dropped off the friend radar.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Crowded bars aren’t exactly my cup of tea at the moment. And I can’t even wash my own hair so dancing is most definitely out. What am I supposed to do? Turn left up here.”

“Call?” Garcia suggested as she turned onto the street Emily had suggested. “Write? At this point I would accept snail mail too. I know! Visit!”

Emily sighed. “Like Hotch would go with that.”

“You’re off duty, he can’t order you to do anything,” Penelope pointed out. “You’re not even dating the guy and you’re whipped.”

Emily was cut off from replying by her ringing phone. She looked at the caller display, her face morphing into fond annoyance. “How is the sand and sun?”

“You’re not at home.”

He’d called the house first apparently. Emily sighed. “I’m going stir crazy.”

“Where are you?”

“Washington PD called, they’re trying to track down a suspect. I’m close on the guy’s tail, but this talking and running after the guy is leaving me with very little breath.” She ignored Penelope’s completely shocked look.

“You’re snappy.”

Emily took a deep breath. “I know. I’m sorry.” And she was. It just got frustrating that he seemed to be looking over her shoulder at every moment of every day. “I’m going to lunch with Garcia.”

“Did you nap after I left?”

“No,” she admitted. “I couldn’t.”

Hotch’s sigh echoed of frustration. “I wish-“

“I know.” She wished he could help too. “Tell me something interesting.”

“We’ve never needed you more than on this case.”

That was an admission that froze her entire body. “Huh?”

“Even introducing myself as SSA Hotchner is only getting us so far.”

“I knew you only wanted me for my heritage.”

He chuckled. “Everyone knows your mother.”

“They do,” she agreed. “If it’s any consolation I wish I was there.”

“And you call me a workaholic.”

“With a job like ours who needs outside entertainment,” she quipped back. “I’m driving myself batty with boredom.”

“You’ll be back soon enough.”

It was odd to hear her own emotions echoed back to her in someone else’s voice. That cross between excitement at the prospect and a hollow feeling that came with the idea of going home to an empty apartment every night. It made her feel stupid. “Apparently not,” she said on a sigh.

“Try and nap when you get home,” he suggested, trying to move away from such a depressing yet at the same time exciting subject.

She shivered at the concept of his house as her home as she usually did when the subject came up. “I will. We’ll see.”

He sighed. “Take a pill if you have to, Emily. You’re still healing.”

It was frustratingly sweet, the way he cared. “We’ll see. I’m not making any promises.”

“I’ll call you later.” It wasn’t like Hotch could accept anything but her word. He couldn’t force her to take the pill.

“I’ll be fine,” she said rolling her eyes. It was unfortunate that he was many miles away and couldn’t see the affection in the gesture.

“I’ll call you later.”

The warmth that spread through her chest at his insistence made her mind whirl. Living with him was turning out to be a blessing and a curse. “Okay.” Her eyes stayed fixed on her phone as she hung up, fingers absently tracing along the outside.

“I take it that was Boss Man?”

Emily nodded.

Penelope could tell there was a lot on her friend’s mind. As girls in a boy’s club, Penelope, JJ and Emily had formed their own little bond. With how often they worked together, they were often each other’s only confidantes, the only people they knew that could understand what they saw in their cases, what kind of people they dealt with, the high emotion that came with the job. And there were few secrets they kept from each other. As profilers and people who worked closely with profilers, there was little they _could_ keep secret.

“He cares, you know,” Penelope offered, finally pulling into a tiny parking lot behind a quaint café.

Emily sighed. “That’s what worries me.”

“Worries you?”

“Define ‘caring’.”

“You want Oxford’s definition or Garcia’s Context-Friendly version?”

“You’re the one that said it, let’s go with your version.”

Penelope considered the request as they chose a table by the window. “Look at the facts,” she began, knowing Emily was only slightly less rational than Reid. “He was the one who came to me to hunt you down. He was the one who came to visit you every day – which I am _still_ apologizing for, by the way. He was the one who offered to take you home and picked you up on his lunch break. He’s been the one to watch over you while you recover. Why are you red?”

Emily winced. Her mind had floated back to the hair washing. “Nothing.”

“Nuh uh, Emily Prentiss, there are very few things that make you go that exact shade of red.”

Emily cursed her job, and Penelope’s perceptiveness. “It’s nothing,” she tried again.

“What did Hotch do?”

Emily, if possible, went even redder. “What makes you assume it was him?”

“Other than the fact that you’re a chronic blusher?” Penelope teased. “The way you’re avoiding answering the question.”

Penelope was going to get a kick out of the story and she was sure JJ would too when it got passed on. Then she would be teased mercilessly for it. But weighing the annoyance of teasing against the annoyance of badgering Penelope Garcia style, there was less torture to just confess. “You know I can’t raise my arm above about my shoulders.”

“Uh huh. I had that problem. Drove me crazy.”

Emily laughed. “I now know how you feel. Well, it’s made things a little bit difficult.”

“So… he pulled your ice cream out of the back of the freezer for you?”

Emily knit her brow. “Actually, he rearranges the fridge and freezer for me,” she said in confused memory. “And sets out dishes.”

Penelope’s eyes bugged out. “He what?”

“Tries to help in whatever way he can,” Emily tried to shrug it off. “Last night he helped wash my hair.”

Penelope leaned forward to whisper, “Were you naked?”

Emily looked properly scandalized, though it fell off her face when Penelope started to giggle. “I had my towel thank you.”

“Ooh, a piece of terry cloth between you and the man of your dreams,” Penelope teased. She giggled again at the dreamy look on Emily’s face. “You’re head over heels girl, no looking back.”

The brunette sighed. “And it’s going to be the death of me. He’s my boss, for goodness sakes.”

“But your very hot boss,” Penelope responded. “If it wasn’t for Derek, Hotch would be my next in line.”

“I’m just there while I recover, while I still need help to reach things. After that, I’m headed back to my apartment, and then what?”

“Honey, you can’t rationalize everything,” Penelope pointed out as their waiter approached. Conversation lulled while they ordered drinks, though Emily chatted amicably with the wait staff. She often stopped in for her morning coffee and it seemed like she was quite thoroughly missed.

Penelope picked up her train of thought when the waiter left. “Emotions aren’t rational. You of all people should know that.”

“He’s my boss. He’s just divorced-“

“Forever ago,” Penelope interrupted.

“Look, there’s just way too much at stake.”

“Ah, but think of the reward,” Penelope replied, smiling as the waiter put her drink down in front of her.

“And if it fails? I appreciate the encouragement but…”

Penelope didn’t need to hear the end of the sentence and huffed. “Em, you’re the closest one, okay? The one that has the best chance of getting her guy.”

Emily sighed. This was not a conversation she really wanted to have at the moment. She was vulnerable enough as it is, physically and emotionally. She didn’t want to add anything else to her plate that could rattle her boat. And actually entertaining the thought of being with Hotch would do just that. If she let herself believe she was in love with Hotch, that the routines they had now could be normal every-day things, she would lose her perspective. Emily couldn’t afford to lose her perspective.

Penelope watched the play of emotions across her friend’s face. Encouragement was her specialty, even if she was being a little hypocritical by this point. After all, she and Derek spent tones of time together. But if there was one thing she wanted to see more than her own happiness, it was her friends’. “Emily-“

“Please, Pen? Can we not do this?”

As often as she did push, Penelope knew when to back off. “You have to come and visit us,” she said, without any sort of seque. “We miss you.”

Emily took the subject and smiled sadly. “I miss you guys too. I’ll try and convince Hotch to let me come in for an afternoon this week or something. I don’t think it’s physically possible to stress myself out in the office.”

As they carried on the conversation, Penelope’s mind was already working, trying to find a way to manipulate Emily’s new revelations to the eventual benefit of both her boss and her friend. Penelope knew Emily was good for Hotch and Hotch would be good for Emily. So it was down to the right amount of influence and, unfortunately, time.

But the right amount of influence could come first.


	11. Chapter 11

Hotch looked at his phone for what felt like the millionth time since he left for the case. He was trying valiantly to restrain himself from contacting Emily again, to check on her, to make sure she’d napped. Nevertheless, he also knew that he drove her crazy by checking on her all the time.

“Hey Hotch, everything okay?” Morgan asked from the driver’s seat.

Hotch looked up, startled at being addressed. “Fine,” he answered. It was a half-truth after all. But he was talking to Morgan.

“Do you know when Em’s due back?” he asked.

“She still can’t lift her arm over her head, so it’ll be a couple of months yet,” Hotch replied absently. The constant checking of his phone was driving him nuts. It was impulsive.

“You going to let her back on desk duty before then?”

Hotch sighed. This conversation was starting to convey how much Emily was missed. He ran his team as if they were family so when one was out, the others reacted accordingly. “Strauss wants to bring in a temporary agent,” he confided. Morgan was the first person he told, but arguably the most volatile.

“She what?”

Exactly the reaction he’d been assuming would come through. “We’re down to four agents, we’re going to be assigned a new one eventually.”

“We’ve been doing just fine without help.”

Hotch resisted the urge to laugh. Sometimes Morgan could act like a petulant child. Especially when he didn’t trust someone. And a new agent would be someone no one trusted until they proved they could be a functioning part of the family.

“It’s not to replace Emily,” he tried to placate his colleague. “Kind of a trial.”

“See how they do in the unit. If they work, someone gets promoted to Gideon’s old office and the newbie slides in,” Morgan nodded in understanding. “We don’t need the help, Hotch.”

“The extra set of hands would be nice,” he pointed out. He wanted a new agent like he wanted the plague, but he was telling the truth to say they could use the extra set of hands. A small unit by characterization, they were still at a slight disadvantage being down to three field agents and JJ.

“One of Strauss’ picks? You and I both know they’ll be a mole in the unit. We’ll be screwed.”

Hotch thought back to Emily, the original Strauss mole before she’d become part of the family. “Maybe not.”

“C’mon Hotch. You know it. She’ll pick some-“

“She picked Emily.”

That shut Morgan up quick. Emily hadn’t told anyone about the reason she’d been assigned to the BAU and the only reason he’d known was because he’d guessed it before their case in Milwaukee. “I still don’t like it.”

Hotch sighed. He didn’t either. He trusted his team implicitly. They did their jobs, they protected their own, they knew each other. He’d been blessed with agents that fed off of each other and knew each other. His phone rang in his lap, startling him out of the bad thoughts of new agents and strict rules.

_Drugged and napped._

He smiled. She was indulging him, he knew, though he believed that she really had at least relaxed for a time.

_And bored._

That much he expected. Emily didn’t do well when she was out of the action. He’d known she was going stir crazy in the house all the time, but he also knew that she, like him, didn’t want to aggravate the wound until she could go without the pills. His fingers hopped over the keys as he texted her back. _Nightmares?_

That was what bothered him the most. He had his own nightmares because of the cases they saw, but he was never a victim in those versions of hell. And he’d found out just as he had to leave the house for Miami, Florida. The world was playing cruel tricks.

 _Drugs,_ her message said. _No nightmares._

He sighed. She hated to rely on drugs, he knew. He’d known before. They all knew. She hated even taking a painkiller for a headache. And on their job, headaches came often.

_Tell me about the case?_

She really was bored. Though, as she’d been quick to point out on the phone, with their job, who needed anything else? Television was too unreal for those who worked in the industry and movies or books could only occupy a person for so long when they did a job as intense as the BAU. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t try and dissuade her. _You’re supposed to be resting._

His phone beeped not thirty seconds later. _I rest anymore and I’ll be out of shape when I get back._

He wondered how long he could pretend he didn’t get the text message before she started prodding him. Then reconsidered.

\--

_Celebutates. Media circus._

Emily chuckled to herself as she sat on the couch. _The tabloids must be absolutely sobbing._ Or they’d fixed on a new subject. No one was blind enough to miss how attractive her team was. She hoped it was the former.

_JJ’s been picking them up._

And probably running herself ragged in the process. Poor Jayje. This one was going to take a chunk out of even her tough hide. Tabloid reporters were vicious. She made a mental note to send JJ an encouraging message. _Give me something to work with._ If he didn’t, she was going to call him.

She’d woken up well-rested from her unintentional nap, much to her surprise. And she’d lied. She hadn’t taken drugs before passing out. She’d been slowly straightening his unmade bed before her exhaustion caught up with her and virtually knocked her out right there. She’d only intended on laying her head down for a minute and when she’d opened her eyes, it was well passed three in the afternoon.

But there was no way on God’s green earth she was going to tell him she had slept in his bed without nightmares. The implications of a revelation like that and the possible repercussions would kill her and any chance she had with Hotch. That was just the other side of the creepy line for her and if she was going to have to look at the man when she was back to being his agent, she was going to be screwed.

Not that she wasn’t already. The erotic feeling of his hands brushing through her hair and the soothing warmth that followed were memories that made any injury she’d had go away. It had been what lulled her to sleep in that false sense of nightmare-less security the night before. Emily sighed, she was quite royally and thoroughly screwed. There was no way she was going to come out of this arrangement with her heart in tact, but she couldn’t ask Morgan or JJ for a place to stay now. That would tip them all off that something was up, especially since he wasn’t there right now. Even when they came back…

_We really could have used your politics._

Emily’s fingers flew over the keys. At this rate, she was about to say what would become the mantra for this case. _I hate politics._

_But you’re good at it._

Damn if he wasn’t right. She’d spent too long playing the game not to be good at it. She was probably a little rusty since she’d been in the FBI and out of the ring of politics, but after growing up in that world, it was probably a lot like riding a bike. _JJ probably is too._

_She’s got her hands full with the media._

_And the parents don’t want to give up their drug dealers,_ Emily typed back. _Entitlement’s a pain._

They both knew she spoke from experience. She wished whole-heartedly that she was there, not to play politics, but just to be with the team again. With the long hours they worked it was no surprise, really. Lunch with Penelope had not only been a welcome break, but a thankful reconnection.

_Morgan wants to know if you have any pointers on how to handle the Oranes._

Emily chuckled. _Same way we all deal with politicians. Patience, calm, negotiation._

She could almost hear him sigh as she read the next message. _It hasn’t worked so far. Wish us luck._

Emily grinned before typing her response.

_Luck!_

The text messaging had done something to his brain. Maybe reattached a vital synapse or something else important because he was back on his game. It felt like a silly thing for him to even think, but Hotch was really too happy that things seemed to be evening out to really care. Where he’d been antsy and touchy, he was calm and collected. They’d gotten more out of the Oraneses than they had out of the two previous families he and Morgan had seen or talked to.

Unfortunately, while it gave them more information, neither he, nor Morgan really felt they were any closer to their unsub.

“He’s targeting these kids for a reason,” Morgan said with a heavy sigh. “The question is, why?”

“Not money,” JJ repeated for the hundredth time. “He’d ask for money, call the parents, contact the families. There isn’t so much as a letter, phone call… nothing.”

“Revenge,” Hotch threw out.

“We can’t find a connection between the families,” Morgan said. “Nothing.”

Hotch sighed. Then Emily’s text message came back to him. _And the parents don’t want to give up their drug dealers._

Suddenly he was shifting through pages around them, trying to find the autopsy reports. “Maybe it’s not about the parents.” He put the pages side by side, hunting down the same information on each report. Then he turned it to his teammates, his pen pointing out the same thing on each report. Tox screens all showed the same thing. Physical discoveries confirmed it.

They all had the same drug dealer.

 

“You know you’re brilliant?”

Emily pulled the phone away from her ear in surprise. “Try that again.”

“You’re brilliant.”

“Okay. Can I ask why?”

“Drug dealers.”

She sighed. “You’re going to have to speak in full sentences.”

“Our connection is with the drug dealers.”

Emily smiled. “You know I said it without thinking right?”

“You were right anyway.”

“Got him?” she asked.

“Not yet, we’re still hunting him down. Then we have to figure out-”

“Exactly how it fits, yeah,” she finished, doing the mental calculations in her head. That would still give her about four days before he’d be home. She’d have to find some way to keep her nightmares at bay without needing Hotch’s sheets. Luckily it gave her plenty of time.

It terrified her that she’d discovered his smell dulled the nightmares. They weren’t as vivid when his smell was around her. She preferred them murky, almost indistinct. All in all, she just slept better when she could smell Hotch. She’d already psychoanalyzed it, looked at it from her usual perspective. There were things about it that were easily understandable and other parts that she, really, didn’t want to think anything about.

It didn’t surprise her that she associated him with safety. He was a teammate, someone she trusted with her life every day when she was on the job. Trust built a feeling of safety. Hotch had always been safe. It didn’t surprise her that she felt comfortable with him, if only because he’d been the one to visit her every day, to check up on her, to insist that she stay with him during her recovery. They’d established a relationship that went beyond that of which they built in the office. She liked it, enjoyed it, and yet part of her knew it would be short lived.

“Emily?”

“Sorry,” she answered on reflex. “I missed that.”

“Are you okay?”

All of a sudden, that question took on more than one meaning. “I’m fine.”

“You sleeping?”

She was surprised by the blunt way he asked the question. “Yeah,” she answered. It was the truth, she was. He just didn’t need to know it happened to be within his bed.

“Nightmares?”

“Not so bad.” Again, the truth and she knew there wasn’t even a waver in her voice that could belay any issues.

There was silence for a moment. “Thanks for the help.”

She chuckled. “As inadvertent as it was.” In the silence that followed Emily knew there were things they were starting to leave unsaid.

“I’ll call you later,” he said finally.

She quite thoroughly believed him.


	12. Chapter 12

Hotch sighed as he pulled into his driveway, killing the ignition and reaching over for his briefcase. It was early by his usual standards, but it was the end of a case. They’d flown in as soon as they could get off the ground and Hotch had shooed all of his agents home the second they returned to the office. There was no point in keeping them there to do paperwork that could be completed tomorrow. The fact that his was in said briefcase was a fact that the team didn’t have to know.

He unlocked the door and stepped into the house, thankful, as always, that he was home. He set the briefcase down and went off in search of Emily with a little secret grin. If she was bored enough, he was sure he could get help on his paperwork.

She wasn’t on the couch or in the kitchen, though she’d left dishes in the sink and her pills on the counter. She was probably upstairs napping, so he took his time rinsing her dishes and putting them in the dishwasher before making his way upstairs. Much to his surprise, he’d missed her more than usual, and though he’d checked in a number of times, it wasn’t the same as seeing her face to face. He made his way slowly up the stairs, intending on changing out of his suit before settling down at the dining room table with the work he’d brought home. He stepped into his room and stopped dead.

Emily was snuggled tightly under the blanket he usually kept at the end of the bed, completely dead to the world. He dropped his jacket on the chair in the corner, watching her. His chest expanded with warmth at the picture she made and, like he had months ago when he’d first found her napping, he sat down on the bed beside her, brushing hair out of her face.

He was slightly surprised to find her calm, not even a wrinkle in her forehead to indicate any kind of dream whatsoever. He sighed. Maybe she was getting better. Maybe she didn’t have nightmares anymore. Maybe she was ready to come back to work. The pills on the counter told otherwise, but she had been out of the hospital for three months. She could probably at least go back for her eval for desk duty. Her limited movement would keep her out of the field for at least another month. And as long as that arm kept her out of the BAU, he’d keep her here.

He stood and hit the closet, changing out of his suit for jeans and a t-shirt. Comfort clothing for a night at home after a case. She was just sitting up as he stepped out and he watched her jump and blush bright red when she saw him.

“I’m sorry, I guess I fell asleep.”

The fidgety nature of her behaviour told him she was nervous. The blush across her cheeks told him she was embarrassed. “Nightmares?” He hadn’t expected her to blush even redder.

“Murky at best,” she responded, reaching both of her arms up to stretch. Her right when all above her head, her body bowing to the left when the other stopped at her shoulder. It was higher than two weeks ago, that much she knew. She’d even managed to wash her hair all by herself while he was gone. The fact that it had only been the previous night wasn’t important.

“That’s good.”

Had she imagined the lack of enthusiasm in his voice? “It’s a nice change,” she agreed. She had to lighten the mood, fast. “Did you bring me something back?”

He smiled. “Something like that,” he agreed.

“You brought me back the file,” she accused with a shake of her head.

He watched her start to fold the blanket, throwing in a helping hand to finish the job, then followed her downstairs. There was something they had yet to address, a topic she’d avoided. But he had to ask, had to know what she was going through, had to know what she was seeing. “Emily?”

“Hmm?” she acknowledged as she settled herself at the dining room table. She’d left the files spread out there when she’d taken a break from reading them.

**“Tell me about the nightmares.”**

 

_She was in the BAU, the bullpen, doing her work, head down. Reid was at his desk, absently humming along to the music in his headphones as his long fingers typed away. Morgan had just gotten up to get coffee, offering to grab a cup for her too._

_This time it was a delivery man that approached her. Emily felt her stomach jolt. It was a different person every time, always someone coming into the BAU for one reason or another. She closed her eyes and kept her focus on her papers. Even as she did, she felt fear well in her chest. She knew what was going to happen._

_“Agent Prentiss?”_

_She wished she could stop herself from looking up, wished she could just wave the delivery guy to put whatever he had down so she didn’t have to die. But her body had other plans, her head and mouth moving of its own accord. “That’s me.”_

_“Delivery.”_

_She took the envelope, even though she knew it was empty. “What is it?”_

_Then came the searing pain in her gut as the delivery man pulled the knife from her stomach. Emily collapsed out of her chair, trying to hold her side and keep the blood from pouring out. Reid continued on his work, not paying attention to anything around him. Emily tried calling out for him, tried calling out for anyone, but no voice came out._

_When Morgan returned, he set the mug on her desk and went back to his own. She was lying on the floor, dying, and he hadn’t even noticed. Emily tried to keep her eyes open, tried to fight the same way the logical part of her knew she had already done once, but the pull of the darkness was way too strong. She felt her eyes falling closed, her hands falling limp and knew she was dying. The last thing she saw before she passed out was a glimpse of the evil grin on the delivery man that stabbed her and his words._

_“Goodbye Agent Prentiss.”_

**_She screamed._ **

 

Aaron woke with a jolt, his body jumping out of bed before his mind had processed what had happened. A scream. That’s what had woken him up. He was out of his room and down the four steps to hers before he thought twice, knocking gently before pushing open the door. Emily was sitting up in bed, her eyes closed, hands white-knuckle fists in the bedspread. He made his way over to her carefully.

“Emily?”

She opened her eyes and he noticed the tears. Maybe she wasn’t as healthy as he’d originally thought. She’d been normally playful at dinner, teasing him, asking him about the case, telling him about her lunch with Garcia the previous week and Mildred’s afternoon of cards the day before. But when he looked at her now, everything was back to how it had been two months ago, when he’d first brought her home.

“Emily,” he tried again, gently perching himself on the edge of her bed. He reached out a hand for her, brushing his fingertips over her knuckles to coax her to lighten her grip. Slowly her hand did loosen and he tucked it in his own, hoping the contact would get him a reaction.

And boy did it ever. He was on the floor before he really realized he was going over, landing on his back with a soft ‘oomph’. Emily was shaking against him, hands now fisted in his t-shirt as her head burrowed itself into his shoulder as best it could. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against his body, one hand rubbing up and down her back. He didn’t say anything, didn’t have any idea what to say.

Hot tears soaked the shoulder of his t-shirt and he held on, his libido taking the back seat to her fear. Sure she was drop-dead gorgeous and pressed tight to his body, but she’d just woken from a nightmare. The protective side of him was screaming at his feeling of helplessness. He had no idea what to do, so he held her, rubbed her back, made quiet shushing sounds in her ear until her shaking slowed and finally, stopped.

She turned her head to the side, away from him. “I got your shirt wet.”

His mouth gaped. That was all she had to say? She’d just taken… twenty minutes, her alarm clock told him, to cry her eyes out on his shoulder, scaring him out of sleep and all she could say was she got his shirt wet? He sighed. “Talk to me.” He hoped she would.

“I had a nightmare,” she answered simply, still not looking at him. Emily Prentiss was not weak, but nightmares made her so. She felt like a child that had had a bad dream, not a woman recovering from a traumatic event and no matter how many times she told herself it was normal, it annoyed her to no end.

“Emily.”

She sighed, her whole body moving on top of his with the effort. “What do you want me to say? Talking about it isn’t going to change the outcome.”

“You have to tell someone.”

“And you’re volunteering,” she said sarcastically.

“Would you rather tell a shrink?” The flippant way she was dealing with this was frustrating.

“It’s a nightmare. A variation on the same theme.”

He figured that much and sighed. He wasn’t going to get anything out of her. “What can I do?” He was surprised when her body slumped against his bonelessly. There had still been an air of tension to her muscles that had suddenly relaxed with his question.

“Just stay.”

“On the floor?”

She shot him a reproachful look, gently resting her chin on his chest.

Against his better judgment, his hand came up to gently wipe at the red tearstains down her cheeks. “This is normal,” he said softly.

Emily closed her eyes on a sigh.

Aaron took that as understanding. “They’ll fade.”

She pressed her cheek against his chest, turning her face away. The hand balling his shirt above his heart loosened and rested there. The other one was still white-knuckled at his hip. “They always do.”

“It just takes time.”

She pushed herself up and around so she was sitting with her back against the bed, bringing her knees up to her chest. “I don’t want it to take any more time.”

He moved until he was beside her. What was he supposed to say to that?

“I feel like he’s beating me.”

Aaron stayed quiet, afraid that saying anything would interrupt her, remind her that he was there, and she’d shut down.

“Every time I have a nightmare, every time I can’t do something, every time I’m reminded that I’m not… whole, I feel like he’s beating me. And I hate it.”

Which was understandable. Emily had fought to belong in the BAU. She’d fought to prove herself. She’d done a brilliant job of it, but she wasn’t invulnerable. None of them were. This was a shocking reminder of that invulnerability.

“I know they got him. I know he’s gone away, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking he’s always there, always over my shoulder and every time something happens and I think I’m getting better, something comes back. The nightmares, the pain… there’s always something and it sets me back.”

“You have too much drive to let it beat you,” he said softly, brushing hair away from her cheek to tuck it behind her ear. “You want to be back in the BAU too much.”

She leaned into his touch as she sighed. “That’s what I mean. Every time I think I’m getting better, getting closer to coming back… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“What helps?”

Ah, the million dollar question she very much didn’t want to answer. Lots of things usually helped her back to sleep. Tea helped, a good book helped, a bad movie helped, but lately she’d been at a loss as to what to do. The pills helped, but as she’d already admitted, every time she took one she felt like her attacker was still haunting her. She wanted to get back to her normal life.

And he helped. But he didn’t know it. It wasn’t like she could just blurt it out either. Hotch was a man that enjoyed his privacy, enjoyed having a home life separate from the office. She couldn’t play a damsel in distress, not only because she knew she wouldn’t be, but because it wouldn’t be fair to him. Hotch was protective of those he perceived weaker than him and right now, she was weaker than he was. She wasn’t going to add to it by telling him that being around him made her feel better.

But Aaron wasn’t the leader of his BAU team by fluke. Not to mention that she was curling in on herself, protecting herself from everything outside. He moved closer, his thigh touching the top of hers, just sitting there, waiting.

Emily rested her head on his shoulder, staring at the wall ahead of her. She could already feel her heart rate calming, her muscles relaxing, her eyelids drooping. She was going to ache in the morning. Heck, he was going to ache in the morning, but she didn’t have the guts to move and then ask him to stay.

What she didn’t know was that he didn’t want to go anymore than she wanted him to. He admitted – though only to himself – that things had changed between them. There was no air of hierarchy in their relationship as it stood and I brought up some worrisome questions for when she decided to go for her eval and return. Things had been irrevocably changed by her attack and it was looking like, at the end of the day, it was for the better.

He wanted to move, to tell her that the pain they were going to feel in the morning wasn’t worth it, but when he looked down at her, she was already breathing steadily. So he sighed, tilting his head against hers. It would be too risky to try and move her. And maybe, if this helped, it would be worth the pain in the morning.


	13. Chapter 13

Emily woke slowly the next morning, surprised to find her head comfortably pillowed against something, but weighed down by something else. Her eyes fluttered open, taking in all they could without moving. It took her a few moments to find her bearings, to remind herself that she was in her room at Hotch’s place. Which meant only one thing:

Her very comfortable pillow could be nothing but the man himself.

She tried to glance at the clock, to see what time it was. Then she heard the beeping of Aaron’s alarm clock start from his room. Her mind was beginning to piece together the night and she felt embarrassment paint her cheeks pink just as he started to move. She stayed still as his head lifted from hers, waiting a few seconds before following. Her neck popped painfully with the movement and her right hand came up to push and knead at the muscles. “Morning,” she greeted softly.

He smiled sleepily, still not fully awake, his own hand coming up to take the place of hers. “Morning.”

His voice was attractively scratchy and made her shiver pleasantly as she tilted her neck toward him, stretching out the muscle while he worked his magic. She sighed happily. “We shouldn’t have slept like that.”

Aaron nodded his agreement, stretching his neck even as his hand continued to work the kinks out of hers. “You fell asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“I’m sorry,” she said on a pleased groan as her neck popped again. “I didn’t mean to.”

He nodded again and yawned. “What time is it?”

This time, she could crane her neck to see. “Seven. Your alarm just went off.”

Aaron nodded. “I have to go into the office.”

Emily knew that. He’d only gotten back yesterday and there was still the team debrief to do, not to mention the paperwork to file. “I know.”

Yet neither of them moved.

Finally, his hand trailed away from her shoulder, brushing across the back of her neck to make her shiver again. His head was resting back against the mattress and she could tell he was debating something in his head. She nudged his side gently. “Penny for your thoughts.”

There were many things running though his head at that particular moment. Like what it felt like to wake up next to her, to just sit there for a few moments before moving to get ready for the day. He hadn’t felt this content since Haley had been around and part of him was definitely terrified at the prospect. She was his subordinate and he was a workaholic. He was married to his job. He knew that no matter how happy he was about having her around, it either wouldn’t last – not to mention Emily’s own mixed signals – or he’d lose her because of his over-dedication to his job. Either way, there was nothing more that could come of this.

But there was something else at the forefront of his brain, something that made him curious. He’d found her sleeping calmly in his bed the afternoon before, but when she’d gotten back to her own, she’d had a vicious nightmare. He’d come to check on her, to calm her down and when they fell asleep again, she’d slept through the rest of the night, dream free. Or so he assumed. So he turned intensely curious eyes on her. “Did you sleep well?” He got his answer in the flush that raced across her cheeks.

“I did,” she answered softly. She knew that her answer was redundant. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for falling asleep on you like that.”

He shook his head, his eyes still trained on her. “It’s okay,” he said.

Emily knew there was something else he wanted to say and waited patiently for him to ask. Her gut told her she wasn’t going to like the question, but she waited anyway.

“You haven’t been taking as many pills, have you?”

She wrinkled her nose at him, trying to inject some playfulness into the situation. “Can you imagine me on a case with drugs? Strauss would have my head, even if I am her favourite.”

Aaron, however, was serious. He was on the scent of something and he wasn’t about to let it go just yet. “And the drugs make sure you don’t have nightmares, right?”

Her smile dropped. She knew she didn’t have to answer that question. She looked away, down at her hands, picking at her fingernails. She almost jumped when his hand came under her chin.

Aaron got his answer from Emily’s eyes. _He_ made her feel better. _He_ stopped the nightmares, or at least kept them at bay. It was a huge burden to hold on his shoulders, but one he found, much to his sudden surprise, he didn’t mind having. He didn’t say anything else. She was feeling vulnerable as it was, embarrassed by his read on her behaviour. Instead, he let go of her chin. “I’m off to have a shower.”

She had a love-hate relationship with profilers. She was glad she didn’t have to tell him and even happier that he hadn’t pushed the issue. “I’ll make coffee.”

 

Aaron settled his head on his hand for what felt like the millionth time that day. He’d been distracted during the debriefing, still hadn’t finished his report and had a meeting with JJ in ten minutes. He was quite thoroughly distracted by the new development in Emily’s recovery. There were a few ways he could handle it. He knew she wanted to cut back on the number of pills and she effectively had, but at the expense of finding something else that made her feel safe.

And that happened to be him. Academically, it was something that was partially natural. He understood that he would be the natural attachment. Not only had she been staying with him, but he’d been there in the hospital and he’d been there through every step of her recovery. He worried and he called and he checked in.

Which wasn’t to say he didn’t put stock in it. He didn’t blame himself, nor did he blame her. Behaviourally, it was normal. They found safety in each other. And it wasn’t like he was innocent in the whole thing. Having her at home meant there was someone there to meet him, someone there to eat dinner with, someone to distract him from the terrible things he saw. If she was using him for comfort, he was using her as someone to come home to without the benefits or ties of a relationship.

There was no threat to him being hurt if no ties were involved. The only tie between him and Emily was their job. But he wasn’t blind, he wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t naïve. They’d both been crossing signals in the last three months, both been pushing and pulling away. He knew more about her than he knew about any of his other teammates. He knew she hated cooked carrots, but would eat them raw like they were candy. He knew she preferred some sort of fruit for a snack instead of chips, but indulged herself whenever they were all-dressed. She was hopeless when using the barbeque or the oven, but could make a delicious meal using only the stovetop and the microwave.

“Hotch?”

He looked up in surprise to find JJ standing in the door. “Hey, come on in.”

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, trying not to sound as exhausted as he felt. “Tired.”

JJ gave him a sympathetic smile. “Nightmares?”

How the hell had she hit the nail on the head with that? He took odd comfort in the embarrassment that floated across her face.

“Sorry, sir,” she apologized. “I just remember the Henkel case…”

He gave her a small smile. It scared him, sometimes, how their lives were defined by their cases. Henkel was a bad one that very few of the team ever forgave themselves for. They were still beating themselves up, apparently. It had been traumatic for JJ. He was pretty sure she hadn’t touched a dog since. He offered her a little bit of an out. “Emily’s been having them, yes.”

JJ nodded. “I figured she would. Garcia still gets them sometimes.” Then she was all business and Aaron forced himself to focus.

His Emily issues could wait.

 

She was glad he hadn’t been awkward when he’d returned home. Breakfast had been quiet and only slightly off kilter and she was terrified about what a day in the office would do. But when he returned he was all smiles and just ‘Aaron’, so much so that she almost cried. They goofed around while they cooked dinner and sat at the dining room table perusing consults and trading the crossword.

Eventually, Emily yawned and Aaron knew he had a choice to make. He could send her to bed and deal with the nightmare when it eventually came, or he could nip the nightmare in the bud. He still hadn’t decided which he was going to do. “Bedtime?”

The time Emily was dreading. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to ask if she could just sleep in his bed? Against him would have been even better, but she wasn’t stupid enough to even let herself think it, let alone bring it up. “Soon.” She stood and stretched as best she could, cracking vertebrae as she did. “I’m going to watch a bad movie.”

Aaron knew how to translate ‘Emily’. Comfort movie was more the appropriate term. He smiled shakily. “Let me make popcorn and I’ll join you.”

She smiled. “You don’t have to. Go up to bed, you’ve got to be more exhausted than I am.” To her surprise, he steered her to the DVD rack and the small pile that was in front of it.

“Pick a movie,” he said, his tone brooking no argument. “I’ll be back.”

Emily had picked the movie slid it into the DVD player and settled herself on the couch by the time he returned with a steaming bowl of white fluffy kernels. She grinned as he sat beside her and reached over for a handful.

An hour into the movie, popcorn eaten, Aaron looked over at his companion. As her head had nodded off, he’d found she cuddled more and more into his side. He let her, especially with his new discovery and simply continued to watch the movie, pretending as if he wasn’t noticing. Her breath had evened out twenty minutes prior and he knew she was asleep. He didn’t even bother to wait for the rest of the movie, just gathered her into his arms and, ensuring that he jolted her as little as possible so as to best make it up the stairs, took her and tucked her securely into bed.

Then he went to his own.

 

_This time she was walking down towards Congress. It was a gorgeous spring day, her hand was wrapped in another warm one, her jacket warding off the rest of the early spring chill. She was happy and off duty for once with no interruptions._

_Then, shots rang out. She tried to figure out where they were coming from, even as she and her companion rushed for the bushes. She ended up tripping and falling, feeling something stab into her skin as she fell. Her companion crouched beside her and she found herself getting her first good look at him since the dream had started._

_And she knew it was another nightmare._

_Aaron Hotchner was kneeling beside her. She was on her back, seemingly just put there by her dream world. His hands were on her stomach, trying to slow the blood flow. She could see the panic in his eyes, even as it flooded her body._

_“Get out of here,” she rasped. “Get to safety.”_

_“No, I’m not leaving.”_

_“I’m not going to make it,” she said, her breathing labored. She was losing blood and she could feel she was losing it fast. Her vision was going black around the edges. “Get to safety.”_

_Another shot rang out and Aaron’s body collapsed on top of hers. Her eyes stung with tears as she felt hot wetness soaking the other side of her body. She knew he’d been hit, that he was dying just like she was. She started crying in earnest as his hand came up to stroke her cheek._

_“Emily,” he said softly._

_“I told you-“_

_“Emily.”_

_She was surprised to find that his voice was stronger the second time._

_“Emily, wake up.”_

 

She blinked brown eyes open to meet his in the darkness of her room. “Another one?” she asked rhetorically, pushing herself into a sitting position and wiping at her face.

“You tell me.”

She nodded. There was no other way she could truly classify what she’d just experienced as anything but. It was a nightmare. It was the first nightmare where she wasn’t the only death.

Aaron sighed and nudged her over, stretching out beside her on top of the sheets. “I’m not sleeping sitting on the floor this time,” he offered in explanation when she looked at him like he was completely insane.

She blushed, but slowly curled her body against his. Her eyes immediately started falling shut as he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her and rearranging her until they were both comfortable. She sighed as she settled against him, allowing her muscles to go limp. She’d analyze this in the morning, maybe with a three-way call with JJ and Garcia.

But for now, sleep was calling, and knowing it was going to be a good one, Emily was most definitely going to answer.


	14. Chapter 14

They fell into an unspoken routine. Every night she’d try to go to bed on her own. When she had a nightmare, it depending on who woke first as to whether they would end up in his bed or hers. Neither of them spoke about it the next morning. Another month passed that way, hitting Emily’s four and a half month mark on her recovery.

“Jack’s coming over this weekend.”

Emily looked up from her book to where she could see him in the dining room, surprised by the news. “Is he?”

Aaron nodded. He was next to positive they weren’t going to be called on a case and had even filed the time as personal time just to make sure. His relationship with Jack had unfortunately dwindled to phone calls for two separate reasons. He was busy with his job, the same way he always had been. Then Emily had been released from the hospital and his six-year-old was a ball of energy he didn’t want to expose her injured side to. But she could now lift her arm above her head and even lift a few things to the higher shelves. Jack, he figured, she could probably handle.

“I’m glad,” she said sincerely. “I was thinking of moving back to my apartment this weekend, so it’s perfect timing.” She was surprised when he jumped.

“I didn’t know that.”

She shrugged, trying to play it off as nonchalance. “I hadn’t exactly thought it through, but it fits. I’ll get JJ to come grab me Friday night and you can have your weekend with Jack.”

Aaron looked at her for a moment, mentally debating how far out of his comfort zone he was willing to go. He’d been hoping Emily would stick around with Jack, give him another stable female force in his life. He planned on introducing his son to the team bit by bit anyway, but Emily had always had that maternal nature about her, something he’d noticed with Carrie just after Gideon left. “I’ll move you back the weekend after,” he said with his own shrug. “JJ can take the weekend for herself.”

Emily battled her logical mind. JJ could use the weekend and it would be nice to stay just a little bit longer. Then he absolutely floored her.

“Stay. Meet Jack.”

“Okay.”

 

At six, Jack had hero worship for his father. It wasn’t a surprise. To Jack, Daddy went off to fight the real monsters in the world and, in his little mind, that made it okay. He’d love to spend more time with Daddy, but he wanted to be safe too. Or, at least that was how Mommy explained it to him. Daddy answered the door when Jack knocked and the little boy threw himself into his father’s arms.

“Hey Buddy.”

Mommy hugged and kissed him goodbye, handing his bag to Daddy and telling him she’d be back on Sunday to get him. Jack shrugged. He was just glad to have uninterrupted time with Daddy.

“Hey Jack? There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

Or not. Jack’s face fell. He’d wanted Daddy time, he didn’t want to share it. And why did Daddy have someone over anyway? He didn’t want another Mommy. He had a Mommy, a good one. Bud Daddy carried him into the kitchen anyway where a lady sat with brown hair.

“Hi, Jack. I’m Emily. I work with your dad.”

Jack chewed on his fingers as he eyed this new presence. Daddy rarely had people over. Jack had never met anyone from the people that helped Daddy fight monsters. “You fight monsters too?” To his delight, she didn’t laugh like most people did. She nodded solemnly.

“I do. Just like your dad.”

Well, if Emily fought monsters than she was okay in Jack’s book. Maybe she could help Daddy find the monsters under the bed that always scared him at night. He didn’t much appreciate them.

“Emily got hurt,” Daddy explained, setting him down on the floor. “She’s staying with me so she can get better.”

Jack was confused. When he got hurt, Mommy just kissed his boo-boo and he went back to playing. So he turned innocent eyes to his father. “Why don’t you kiss it better? Like Mommy does.” He watched as Daddy started to sputter.

It was Emily who answered his question. “It was a bad boo-boo. I don’t think a simple kiss would have healed it.”

Jack considered this new information with all the seriousness a six-year-old could muster. He always thought everything could be solved with a hug and a kiss. “Oh.” Emily didn’t seem so bad. She answered his questions and he understood her. Sometimes, when adults answered his questions, he didn’t understand the answers. He scampered back to the front door where Daddy had left his backpack, digging through it to find Monkey and his favourite book. Then he ran back into the kitchen, stopping in front of Emily. He plunked the book on her lap.

“ _Where the Wild Things Are_ ,” she read off the cover.

Jack watched a smile stretch across her face. He turned shy. “Will you read it to me?”

Emily smiled at him. “Sure thing.” She picked up the bowl Jack had missed on the kitchen table and followed him onto the couch. He settled against her in the innocent and trustworthy way only a six-year-old could as she opened the book.

“The night Max wore his wolf suit…”

 

Aaron came down the stairs after tucking Jack snugly in bed, his mind more than whirling. Jack had taken to Emily, wanted Emily to do everything with him. It helped that Emily knew all kinds of children’s games and ways to keep him occupied. He was slightly surprised that her ability to deal with Carrie had translated so swiftly into how she handled Jack. And she’d managed to do it with her side. He knew it still twinged every once in a while, though it seemed to take less and less time to pass.

She was curled on the couch, watching some sort of primetime drama and looked up with a tired smile as he joined her. “He’s a good kid.”

Aaron smiled in response. “He is. And you’re good with him.”

Emily blushed. “It’s not that hard if the kid responds to everything.”

“I think you’ve got him hooked on those bite-sized apple bits.”

Emily grinned unrepentantly. While reading to Jack, she’d been snacking on apples sprinkled with cinnamon. She hadn’t seen any harm in offering some to her companion. Jack had enjoyed the treat. “It could have been worse.”

He had to give her that.

“You’re a great father, you know,” she said softly, just loud enough to be heard over the sound of the television.

Aaron sighed. He wasn’t so sure about that. He gave everything to his job, to the families out there facing the worst monsters, while his now-ex-wife chased Jack’s monsters at home. Aaron hadn’t made time for his family and it had cost him.

“Hey, don’t go down that road,” she said softly, placing her hand on his arm. “You do what you can, when and where you can. That’s all Jack and Haley can ask for.”

“I could have left.”

“That wouldn’t have been fair for her to ask of you,” Emily answered quietly. “You _are_ the BAU.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

Emily shrugged. “Does it matter in the long run? You’re trying to give Jack and his friends a better world. You’re trying to put away people that kill without motive.”

“There’s always a motive.”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re splitting hairs.”

Aaron did know what she meant. Most of the killers they dealt with were need-driven, killing because they thought they had to for whatever reason. They didn’t have the same control a regular human had. They were different, for whatever reason that was.

“You’re making Jack’s world a safer place. And don’t underestimate him, Aaron,” she suggested with a wise tone that belayed her years. “He’s a very smart kid.” She paused, knowing the next comment was potentially crossing a line. “Just like his father.”

“You really think so?”

She smiled, encouragement and faith in every line of her body. “I know so.”

For some reason, that made him feel better.


	15. Chapter 15

Emily gasped as she woke, pushing herself upright to remind herself that she was okay. She jumped at the small form in the doorway.

“Are you okay, Miss Em’ly?”

Emily sighed. It was just Jack. “I’m fine,” she answered, trying to inject warmth into her voice. She pushed herself out of bed, padding over to him and crouching to his level. “What are you doing up?”

Jack hugged his stuffed hippo tighter. “I hada bad dream,” he answered shyly. “I was going to see Daddy, but then you were making funny noises like Daddy makes when he has a bad dream.”

Emily smiled at Jack’s perceptiveness. Then she had an idea. “You had a bad dream, and I had a bad dream… I think that calls for a story, don’t you?”

Jack tilted his head in confusion.

“My dad used to read me stories when I had a bad dream so I had something else to think about. The bad dreams would go away.”

Jack seemed to consider the plausibility of what she was saying for a moment, nodding slowly. “Okay.” He held out his hand and Emily took it as they tiptoed quietly back to Jack’s room. Jack bounded into bed, hunkering down into his pillows and blankets. Emily closed the door and flicked on the bedside lamp so she could go digging through his bag for a book. Eventually, she settled beside him, book in hand.

“Miss Em’ly?” Jack asked in a small voice before she could start reading.

Emily looked down at him. “Yes, Jack?”

“Can you tell me a story instead?”

Emily thought about it for a moment before she had an idea. “Okay. Ready?”

Nodding enthusiastically, Jack curled up against her thigh. Emily’s hand absently went to his head, stroking through his hair. “Once upon a time, there was a brave prince named Jack.”

“That’s my name,” Jack giggled.

Emily grinned, wedging her fingers into the juncture between his neck and shoulder and tickling just a bit. “It is,” she agreed. “And this Prince Jack was the best monster fighter in all of the land.”

“I don’t fight monsters,” Jack said.

“In the story world you can do whatever you want,” she told him honestly.

“So I can fight monsters? Just like Daddy?”

Ah, she knew she’d been on something by adding that into her tale. “Just like Daddy,” she agreed. “Can I keep going.”

Jack let out a huge yawn. “Yup.”

“One day, one of the outlying kingdoms sent a message to Prince Jack, asking him to come and defend them from a vicious monster that was kidnapping all of the Mommies in his land…”

 

Aaron was surprised when the house was quiet the next morning. Jack was an early riser, as all small children were, but it was well past eight in the morning and Jack was nowhere to be found. He rose and stretched, wincing when his entire body popped and headed for Jack’s room, only to be shocked about what he found there. Instead of little Jack curled up in his bed, Emily was there, fast asleep, curled under Jack’s dinosaur comforter. Jack was playing quietly on the floor with a few of his figurines from his shelves.

“Morning, Big Guy,” Aaron greeted softly.

“Shh,” Jack said, even as he stood to give one of his father’s legs a hug. “Miss Em’ly is sleeping.”

“I can see that. Why isn’t she sleeping in her room?”

“She had a bad dream,” Jack answered with all of the seriousness of his six years. “I heard her making the bad noises.

Aaron bent down to lift his son into his arms. “And why were you up?”

“I had a bad dream too,” the little boy replied, making a triceratops wander up his father’s shoulder. “Miss Em’ly said that stories always made her feel better so she told me a story.”

“And you fell asleep.”

Jack nodded brightly. “And didn’t have anymore bad dreams!”

Aaron mirrored his son’s nod, though a little more tempered than the six-year-old exuberance. “Let’s go downstairs, huh? Let Emily sleep.”

“But what if she has another bad dream? Bad dreams are scary.”

It didn’t seem they had to worry as Emily started to stir. Her eyes opened and took in her surroundings, finally landing on father and son. He watched the tension leak out of her. “I was worried he’d gone.”

He enjoyed Emily first thing in the morning. No walls, no pretenses of perfection, no guarded distance. “Jack knows not to leave,” he replied, putting his wiggling son down.

Jack hopped up on the bed, flopping on his stomach right against Emily’s side. “Know what I dreamed about?”

“Dreamt,” she corrected absently, her fingers sliding once through his hair. “And what?”

“That I was a monster-fighter, just like in the story. I didn’t have any bad dreams a’cause I could fight off the monsters.”

Emily smiled, curling her arm under the pillow under her head. “Really.”

Jack nodded. “Did you have a bad dream again, Miss Em’ly?”

“How could I, with such a good monster-fighter close by?”

Jack positively beamed. “Hear that Daddy? I’m a good monster-fighter!” The he was off, bounding down the stairs as best he could while Emily finally pushed herself into a sitting position.

Aaron regarded her carefully. When he’d found Jack playing quietly in his room, so protective of a woman he’d just met and a woman Aaron cared about so deeply – there was no point in denying it now – he’d felt his heart leap. He’d felt a little bit like a terrible father as Emily goofed around with Jack the night before, but Emily reminded him that she was new, something Jack knew nothing about. It was probably just natural curiosity. And she was nice.

“You okay?”

Emily shrugged, understanding the things he didn’t ask. “He had a bad dream, I had a bad dream, so we figured we’d have bad dreams together,” she explained, rolling her shoulders.

“And now he’s a monster-fighter.”

Her grin was unrepentant. “My dad used to tell me stories when I had nightmares. Well, read me stories, but Jack wanted one he hadn’t heard before. Who am I to deny a child?” His body language spoke of confusion and insecurity. “If it makes you feel any better, he was on his way to see you.”

That did make him feel better. Jack was his son and though he was glad there wasn’t any animosity between his son and Emily, _he_ was Jack’s parent. “But he came to you.”

She sighed. “He said I was making bad dream noises,” she offered in embarrassed explanation. “Or he would have come to you.”

He moved into the room, sitting beside her. “This is just weird.”

“You’re telling me,” she shot back. “I know I’m good with kids, I babysat – or whatever the equivalent is at political functions – enough of them in my day, but I’ve never had one take to me so fast. Or be so endlessly understanding.”

“Did you tell him about-“

“No,” Emily shook her head. “He’s happy enough being a monster-fighter, he doesn’t need to know that real people get attacked by them. To him, monsters attack strangers, never him, never his family. Who am I to destroy that?”

Aaron looked at her then, a wave of _something_ passing between them. The air was charged and Aaron knew, that if he leaned over right then, she wouldn’t back away from his advances. He held in the urge. “JJ’s right,” he said after a minute.

“Oh?”

“You’ll make a fantastic mother.”

She chuckled, the sound only slightly self deprecating. “That would require a man first and the job doesn’t exactly allow for that kind of relationship.” The fact that she was in love with him didn’t help much either, but he didn’t need to know that.

He laughed, a low rumble, and stood, pulling her up by her hand and then into his arms. Emily forced herself to relax at the uncharacteristic display and hugged him back. “It’ll come,” he told her as encouraging as he could.

“Daddy!” Jack’s voice floated up from downstairs.

Aaron pulled away, telling himself he was imagining her reluctance to break the contact too. “Yes, Jack?”

“Can we have pancakes for breakfast?”

Emily laughed as she followed him out of the room and down the stairs. Jack was standing at the bottom, looking up with pleading eyes. Heavens to Betsy, Emily was positive that child could get whatever he wanted with those eyes.

Aaron ruffled his son’s hair as he passed. It was good to have some routine back. Whenever he was home, they had pancakes for breakfast, especially if it was Saturday morning. “Of course we can have pancakes,” he agreed, leading the way to the kitchen.

“And Miss Em’ly can help?”

Where he’d gotten the ‘Miss’ to tack onto her name Emily wouldn’t understand. She hadn’t introduced herself as such, but it was cute in his little ‘Jack way’. At the question, however, she back-pedaled. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She almost died at the full pout the child sent her way.

“Why not?” Jack asked.

“I’m really not good in the kitchen, Jack,” she said, her voice holding a note of pleading. “Really. And too many cooks spoil the soup.”

“Huh?” Jack asked.

Emily smiled patiently. “If there’s too many people, there isn’t enough room to move around and do everything. Something always gets ruined.”

“But you won’t ruin anything!” Jack protested. Miss Emily, like Daddy, was perfect, even if she did have bad dreams. She had to be, she was a grown-up.

Aaron hoisted his son into the air, carrying him the rest of the way to the kitchen. “How be Emily pitches in when she can?” he suggested. “You know how to make pancakes better than she does, so maybe you can show her how.”

Jack considered this for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”


	16. Chapter 16

It was that Wednesday that JJ and Garcia took three hours out of their day to take Emily to lunch. It had felt like forever since she’d seen JJ and it was a welcome relief to see the blond’s smiling face. Nevertheless, both women knew there was something up with their group’s dark-haired member.

“Alright, Sugar, start talking,” Garcia prodded once they were seated.

Emily sighed. Where was she even supposed to start?

“Try the beginning,” JJ suggested with a grin.

So Emily outlined everything up to Jack’s weekend with his father. She took them through the calls, took them through the text messages, took them through her reactions to his presence, his voice, living in his house. JJ and Garcia listened without interrupting, without so much as batting an eyelash, just listening. This was what she loved about her girls. They didn’t interrupt to criticize, didn’t interrupt to offer their opinions, didn’t interrupt period.

JJ leaned back with a whistle when Emily was finished. “You are head over heels. This is worse than I thought.”

“Worse?” Emily asked with a gulp. If she was saying worse now, what would JJ’s reaction be when she told her about Jack?

“Worse is a relative term,” Garcia picked up. “I believe what Jayje is trying to say is that head over heels is an understatement.”

Emily closed her eyes with a groan. “And this is supposed to help how?”

“Who said anything about helping?” JJ asked. “I think you’re quite thoroughly beyond help, Em.”

Garcia rolled her eyes. In JJ’s attempts to keep herself from getting hurt, the pretty blond had all but closed her heart off. JJ was her next target, but for now, Emily was so much closer to that eternal happiness than Jayje. “Come on, Jayje,” she scolded playfully. “No more agent. Where’s the gossip girl we know and love.”

JJ sighed. “I have cases stuck in my head,” she admitted. “Which reminds me, how the hell do you manage to get Hotch to settle down? The guy was a mess, then he talked to you.”

Those were exactly the types of things that Emily really didn’t want to hear.

Garcia grinned. She’d heard about the fabled conversations. There’d been a case in nearby Fredericksburg, and Garcia had been surprised at the number of time she head one of her teammates tell her Hotch was on the phone. With Emily.

For her part, Emily had loved the calls. She loved talking to him, loved piecing together the cases. She looked at things from a different perspective of the team – they all looked at cases from different perspectives – and sometimes she helped. Sometimes she didn’t, at least not with the case. They all fed off of each other, so it didn’t really surprise her that the team dynamics were a little off kilter. She knew they’d fallen into a different routine without her there and knew from their closed cases that it wasn’t exactly effecting their performances, but when you got used to taking out your tension in certain ways, to change it was always difficult.

“I don’t say anything particularly special,” Emily admitted. “I actually have no idea. If he’s calmer when he gets off the phone with me it’s not deliberate.”

“Well believe me when I say he’s calmer,” JJ said. “When are you due back?”

Emily looked down at the table top. “I’m moving back into my apartment this weekend. My eval is Thursday.”

“Has it really been that long?”

Emily nodded. “Four and a half months.”

JJ and Garcia exchanged a look. Elle Greenaway had been out for four months after her shooting and come back only to kill someone in cold blood and leave the unit. “Are you sure that’s enough time?”

Emily nodded again. “Oh yeah. I need to come back.”

“Why not wait one more week? Two?” JJ offered.

“What’s going on?” Emily asked with narrowed eyes. She had a good idea, but she hadn’t been holding on for dear life. And she liked to believe she’d adjusted to being attacked and the aftermath just fine, not to mention she hadn’t been attacked on the job. The eval was going to be a formality.

“I just think maybe you’d be okay to take a little bit more time,” JJ repeated.

Emily shook her head. “I can’t. You said it yourself, and I know it. I’m screwed enough as it is without spending another two weeks in that house.”

“You sound like you hate it,” Garcia said, cocking her head to the side.

“Just the opposite and you know it,” Emily answered. “I just… Coming back to work is going to be hard enough, knowing everything I do about that house and about Aaron. I don’t want to put any more strain on the adjustments that we’re going to have to make.”

It did make logical sense.

“So what are you going to do?” JJ asked.

Emily sighed. “Whatever I can, I guess.”

“Why not go for it.”

Emily sighed in exhaustion. Garcia was pushing and pushing and pushing and though Emily knew JJ was on board with it all, she was flat out sick of going over the reasons why she and Hotch couldn’t be anything more than friends and colleagues. She opened her mouth to explain it, only to have JJ hold up a hand.

“Denial is comfortable, I know, but hang on a minute. You see one side. You see your side of this whole coin. Even Derek would agree that there’s something solid between you and Hotch,” she said. “I don’t think all of this is just protection of an injured colleague. He didn’t have to take you in. He doesn’t have to call you during cases to keep you up to date. He doesn’t have to text you, get your opinion, keep you in the loop. In fact, really, he can’t.”

“He reacts to you like he reacts to a conversation about his son,” Garcia added. “JJ says he’s different after talking with you. Derek tells me he’s distracted, not all there. Then he talks to you, makes sure you’re okay, gets your opinion and he’s back on track again.”

Emily was shaking her head. “I’m a teammate. My opinion counts.”

“But he doesn’t have to call you. Most of the team cut off contact with Elle when she went out,” JJ said. “We didn’t want her to have to battle someone else’s monsters and her own.”

“And that’s only now. You should have seen his reaction to your absence from work the day we found out you were in the hospital. And you saw his reaction to your story to begin with.”

JJ nodded in agreement to Garcia’s arguments. “You didn’t get to see him go white – I swear – when I told him you were almost eviscerated.”

“Look, I appreciate this, I think,” Emily said. “But it’s circumstantial at best. You all rushed to the hospital when Pen found out I was there. You and Pen almost bit my head off when you saw the stitches. And Agent Greenaway and I are two different people, completely different people. I wasn’t shot on the job, I was stabbed coming home from a case.”

“You know how to get through to him,” JJ contradicted. “You know how to crack past that barrier of the Special Agent In Charge Hotchner. I’ve never seen an agent do that. Just Haley and Jack.”

“Anyone would give into Jack,” Emily said in exasperation, completely forgetting she hadn’t mentioned the six-year-old in conversation. She knew she’d made a mistake when the words were out of her mouth and she couldn’t take it back.

“How do you know that?” Garcia asked, a glint in her eye.

Emily sighed. There was no use hiding it, not from Garcia. “Haley dropped him off on Friday and picked him up on Sunday.”

“You’ve met Jack?” JJ repeated in awe. “The infamous first-born son.”

“He’s adorable,” Emily gushed, giving up pretenses. “And damn smart.”

“Not a surprise,” JJ agreed with a nod.

“Tell us everything,” Garcia ordered. “Don’t leave anything out.”

Once again, Emily talked and talked and talked. There weren’t enough good things she could say about Jack, nor about the way Aaron was with the boy. What surprised Emily was the way both of her usually chatty friends were completely silent when she was done. “What is it?”

“We’ve tried telling you a million different ways you know.”

“Tell me what?” Emily asked in exasperation.

“This thing between you and Hotch,” JJ began. “It’s not one-sided, Em.”

Emily’s eyes widened. She’d never really thought about it. She’d been too busy trying to convince herself that _she_ wasn’t falling in love with him to worry about him falling for her. It hadn’t even crossed her mind. “You’re kidding.”

“Not at all,” Garcia agreed. “He introduced you to Jack. Jack is the man’s most prized possession. If the man’s not in love with you he’s at least got more than friendship on the brain. But the way he’s gone about this… He cares more than a boss should about an employee, even in our jobs.”

JJ was nodding. “We saw it before, we just didn’t say anything because we know both of you. We knew that something had to happen before either of you would toss the job aside for something better.”

The job was something that had come up in many of Emily’s mental arguments about the pros and cons of starting a relationship with Hotch. They worked in a high-stress environment, it was inevitable that one would slip during a shoot out, a hostage situation, when they had to send someone in… Heck, she’d watched him argue with himself a number of times, not just when she was the one putting herself in danger – though he always seemed to take longer to decide when it was her – but when any of his agents put themselves in a situation where they could get seriously injured, or worse. She wasn’t sure she wanted to think about what he would be like if they were more than coworkers.

Plus, she could never, and would never ask him to leave. She knew how much the job meant to him, saw it in every case they closed, the frustration in the hard lines of his body when they got a new one. The monsters they battled were never going to stop coming. Even if something grew out of this, something she knew they would both take very, very seriously, they were going to have a lot of hoops to leap through. She almost wanted to make a list of things, ponder out if, at the end of the day, taking the risk of jumping him first was going to be worth the potential fallout.

“There’s no guarantee it’ll be better,” Emily said finally.

Garcia reached out and put a hand over the brunettes. “There’s never any guarantees,” she said. “Everything happens for a reason, remember? So many you getting injured was nature’s way of making both of you wake up and smell the attraction.”

“There’s so much to lose.”

JJ was a little shocked. It wasn’t often that Emily was this pessimistic about a relationship. Heck, it wasn’t normal that any of them were pessimistic about relationships, simply because they saw too much darkness. They liked to talk about relationships with happy thoughts, even if each of them knew the statistics behind the psychology of it all. But, for a time, they could push aside the statistics for something much more fun and light-hearted, even if they knew the relationship wouldn’t last.

But JJ knew that if Emily and Hotch started something, they’d be in it for the long haul. You didn’t start a relationship with a coworker you spend endless amounts of time with if you were just going to throw it all away when the going got tough. That just wasn’t the way they worked. Dedication in the job would translate into dedication in the relationship. Not to mention Hotch was the type to hold on as tight as he could to the good things in his life. And he’d been burned by Haley, JJ knew that, so starting another relationship would mean he’d dissected everything he could about the instability of human nature and come up with more pros than cons. A relationship with Emily, JJ knew, would have more of those pros than cons, if he created the list right.

“And so much more to gain,” she said softly, finally. “You guys would be good together.”

Emily nodded slowly, as if accepting what JJ was saying. “But for how long?”

Neither blond had an answer to that.


	17. Chapter 17

Emily took her time packing her things through the rest of the week. Really, she tried not to think about leaving, about returning to her own empty apartment and everything about being alone again. She and Aaron hadn’t broken their sleeping routine either, and that was another fear that was creeping up in the back of Emily’s head. What on earth was she going to do, alone in her apartment, if she had a nightmare? She was an adult, yes, and it wasn’t like she was new to nightmares, but that didn’t exactly make her any less worried about the outcome. She didn’t much appreciate dreaming about her death.

Or, lately, his. Garcia and JJ had planted a seed in her head that she now couldn’t get rid of. She wasn’t sure what to say or do, found herself almost jumping two feet in the air the first time he touched her after that lunch. She was hyper aware of him now, though she tried her best to keep her behaviour the same as it had been before her revelations with Garcia and JJ. It wasn’t as hard when she was shaking in fear, but the regular touches, the ones that came naturally to both of them, were much more noticeable to her now.

For his part, Aaron knew that their time together was coming to an end. He’d agreed to drop her off at her apartment on Friday to give her the weekend to settle back into her apartment and then a couple of days to reacclimatize herself before her evaluation on Thursday. And he knew she’d booked one. Part of him was glad she did, glad to see that she thought herself strong enough to head back into work. It did seem like she was. She was reaching for higher shelves, not favouring her side half as much as she used to and actually managed to drag him out on a walk a few times after dinner. He knew they weren’t going to know anything until she was actually fully back on the job, but going to the department shrink was a good start.

And a terrifying one. He was so used to having her around that trying to figure out what was going to happen when she left was odd. He was used to shopping and cooking for two people, used to watching movies or trading the crossword while he worked on paperwork. It made his heart warm to see a book of hers left haphazardly on the table or the blanket left unfolded on the couch. He was used to her routine, her nap at two, hearing the shower at night while he finished cleaning up dinner… It was going to be very difficult to adjust to a quiet house again.

“Hey,” she greeted softly on Friday night, her smile tighter that he’d seen it in a long time. “Ready to go?”

 _No_ , his mind said. But his mouth spoke the lie. “Sure. Got everything?”

“That I could see or think of,” she agreed, her voice sounding much more exhausted than it had in a while.

He nodded, moving to stand in front of her. Two duffle bags lay at her feet and he swallowed at the sight. He knew there was a box by his television of the DVDs and CDs she’d brought along. His arms rose of their own accord to run down hers. “I’ll help you load stuff into the car.”

Neither of them moved for a moment, even after Emily stopped nodding her head in agreement. For a minute, she though he was about to do the unthinkable and lean down to close the distance between him. Then he stepped back, the cold breeze of his movement shocking her.

They made the drive to her apartment in silence, both partially unsure of what to say and both reluctant to fully admit that her recovery period was over. She was a little surprised when he found a parking spot instead of just dropping her off. Maybe that lean in had been meant for a kiss after all.

“You can’t take all of that up on your own,” he offered in explanation.

Damn.

They took the elevator to her floor, the silence between them tense and awkward for a man and woman who had spent close to the last five months living together. He set the bag and box he was carrying down as she rooted in her purse for her keys.

“I really, really appreciate you letting me stay,” Emily said softly as she unlocked her front door.

He didn’t say anything, just nodded. His eyes were dark and unreadable and they made Emily nervous.

“Do you, um… Do you want to come in? Stay for a bit? I probably have coffee somewhere, we could watch-“ Her bag fell from her hand as Aaron’s mouth made contact with hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck, one hand delving into his hair. His twined around her waist, pushing her as close as he possibly could.

She was panting when they broke away. He looked both satisfied and terrified.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he sputtered out.

Emily took a deep breath. He’d kissed her, right? “Are you?”

The question brought Aaron’s focus back to her, her kiss swollen lips, the brightness of her eyes. “No,” he said finally. “No, I’m not.”

She nodded, once. “Come in. I’ll make coffee.”

Aaron picked up her bag and followed her into the apartment.

 

They hadn’t talked about what they were doing all weekend, just allowed themselves the time to explore what he’d started. And neither of them had pushed. They’d made out on the couch, slept curled up in her bed, and went about the usual weekend routine they knew, just in a different house. They ate out on Saturday morning because she didn’t have food in her apartment, and he had to make a run back to his house for clothes. He made her pancakes on Sunday.

She woke Monday morning to an empty bed and frowned before her mind caught up to her. She sighed as she stood and climbed out of bed, not surprised to find that he had left nothing. Until she walked downstairs and found not only a folded t-shirt on her counter, but a note as well.

_This is for you._

_We need to talk._

Oh, the four words she knew and dreaded at the same time. What on earth had they started, anyway? She’d felt it brewing and convinced herself one way or the other enough times to make her head spin. Then he’d kissed her and everything had flown out the window.

For a man that had been with one woman since high school, Aaron Hotchner sure knew how to make a woman’s knees go weak. They’d made out like teenagers on the couch through the entirety of the movie she’d pulled out of her collection the night before and she had to admit, she was a little surprised by his reluctance to do anything more.

Though she understood it, on a logical level. Intimacy was something they’d stayed away from even with prolonged periods of access. It was enough of a drastic change for him to be able to hold her hand as they’d wandered through the grocery store and even that had been tentative on both sides. They both knew what they’d done.

She went about her usual morning routine before she even considered calling him and battled with herself even after that. But when she’d done all of the straightening up and dusting she could since returning home, she knew she’d have to give in eventually.

“Hotchner.”

“Hey,” she answered, knowing her voice was trembling.

“You okay?”

She smiled even though he couldn’t see it. “I um… I got your note.”

Silence.

“I um… I know we have to and I know there’s a lot to cover and I know that we can’t just leave things and-“

“How’s Wednesday night.”

His interruption caused her brain to stop dead just for a minute. “Wednesday, Wednesday’s good,” she agreed, absently picking at a thread in her pyjamas.

“I’ll bring you in for your eval on Thursday.”

Finally, she broke. “How the hell can you be so calm?”

“I don’t know,” he answered after a moment.

She laughed awkwardly. “Damn you.” She picked at the thread a bit more before shoving her hand underneath her. She didn’t need to pull the thread out completely.

He sighed. This was weirder than he’d thought it would be. “I have to get back to work.” He needed to get off the phone and re-evaluate things.

She needed to do something that let her think. “Yeah. I’ll, um… I’ll talk to you later.”

“Later,” he agreed and couldn’t stop that little bit of warmth from seeping into his voice.

It was his tone that made her feel better. “Bye,” she said softly.

“Bye.”


	18. Chapter 18

Aaron was nervous. He hadn’t been nervous like this since his first date with Haley and if there was one thing he knew going into this without a shadow of a doubt, it was that Emily Prentiss was not Haley. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his slacks as the elevator climbed to her floor. They’d decided on business casual for their outing, and the late August heat had made a sharp turn into the early September cool.

He tried to pace himself as he walked down the hall to her apartment. God, he was going out on a date. He was going out on a date with Emily Prentiss, his colleague, his subordinate… What the hell was he thinking? He started to turn around and stopped. Sure, she worked with him, but there was more to her than that. She was gorgeous, dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin. Her mind was sharp, her quips quick and biting. The times she couldn’t shoot back a response were minimal and he admired her for that. He’d be stupid to turn that away. And she had to know what she was getting into. If she hadn’t wanted him, she would have slapped him the first time he kissed her.

He was standing in front of her door before his mind had finished its closing arguments. He knocked three times, breathing deep when he heard footsteps padding towards the door.

“Hey,” she greeted, flashing him a smile as she pulled the door open. “Come on in. I’m almost ready to go.”

She looked, well, pretty. It wasn’t the drop dead gorgeous of formal wear and makeup, but her natural beauty shining through under the work of minimal enhancements. Emily was strikingly beautiful and he’d known that from the day he’d met her in his office. She looked it now in a red cardigan, buttoned, but sleeved rolled up her forearms slightly and a black a-line skirt. He’d always like red on her.

She snatched up her nearby handbag and slid her feet into low heels. “Shall we?”

He waited for her to lock up, still saying nothing. It was slightly surreal to be doing this. When he saw her hand shaking, he realized she was as nervous as he was. So he reached out for her, taking her hand as they walked to the elevator. Once they were inside, he smiled at her and held her arm above her hand, urging her to spin once. She was blushing when she faced him again.

“You look beautiful.” It sounded silly to say so late, but if it was the truth, he really had no problem saying it.

“Thank you.”

Her tone sounded perfunctory and it made him feel bad. He sighed inwardly. “I mean it,” he told her softly.

She smiled. “I know,” she promised. When silence followed, she turned to him with a little quirk of her mouth. “You know, this is exactly like the last four months, except we’re going out? There’s really no difference here.”

“So you’re not nervous?”

She smiled wider. “Terrified.”

And, like she had been doing since his relationship with Haley had started to fall apart, she’d completely put him at ease. “We can live together for five months and when we go out to dinner, everything is-“

“Weird,” she agreed as the elevator dinged on the ground floor. She led the way out of the building, pausing to let him direct her to the car. “So, Agent Hotchner, where are we off to?”

He was glad she was playful, even when terrified. It helped him relax, even going as far as pulling her door open for her before heading around the vehicle. “There’s a restaurant I overheard Morgan talking to JJ about.” He could already see the gears turning as she tried to figure it out for herself.

They fell into their usual discussion as they drove and Aaron felt himself relaxing into the relationship again. It was this ease that had led him to kiss her, that ease that had pushed him toward her to begin with. He watched a grin stretch across her face as he pulled into the parking lot of a cozy bar.

“You know this place?”

“Something like that,” Emily answered. “This is where we met Brad.”

“Brad?” Ex-boyfriend?

Emily was already chuckling at the memory. “A real FBI agent.”

The reference was lost on him and he told her so.

“It was just before the case where the brothers kidnapped people and sent them running into the forest for their lives. JJ, Garcia and I were out for a drink and this guy in a suit came up to us introducing himself as a real FBI agent,” she explained as she unbuckled her seatbelt and hopped out of the car. They met in front and she brazenly took his hand as they went up the front walk. “Everything was classified with him.”

“Was he an agent?” Aaron prided himself on trying to know all of the agents that worked at Quantico and most of the Washington-Arlington office too.

Emily laughed. “No. He turned tail and ran when we showed our badges.”

He was feeling better about this Brad guy already. “First clue something was off?”

“Everything was ‘classified’. Sure, we can’t talk about a case while we’re working it, but like any other police file, if you go through the right channels it’s all there for you.”

He held open the door for her. “A common misconception.”

She murmured her agreement. “Bar?”

He wanted a table, but Emily wasn’t conventional. It was why he’d paid attention to Morgan’s suggestion. Emily wasn’t one to stand on tradition when it came to dates. And why should she? She worked in a male dominated field. Convention wasn’t something she was used to as a whole.

Emily knew Aaron was one for tradition and knew that he was stepping slightly out of his comfort zone to bring her to a low key place. But it was fine. She had full faith she could convince him of a walk when they got back to her apartment. It would give him the quiet atmosphere he expected on a date, and she’d get her laid-back mentality at the same time.

They ate, talked, laughed and generally had a good time, all the while avoiding the real subject that needed to be discussed. They were going to have to figure out if this date thing was going to become regular. And stemming from that, they were going to have to decide what they were going to do about work and what they were going to do about the team. Nevertheless, it could wait until they were out of the general population.

She was almost sad to see time fly and actually sighed out loud when they reached her apartment building. Aaron shot her a concerned look. All she could do was smile slightly, trying to reassure him that nothing was technically ‘wrong’. She climbed out of the car, unsurprised when he followed, then held out her hand. “Walk with me?”

He fell into step with her as they strolled away from her apartment building, worry building in the pit of his stomach. He stopped when she did, turning to face her and taking a deep breath. If she wanted him to stay in the coworker part of her life, she was going to have to tell his face.

Emily looked down at their still-linked hands. It felt good to do something like that, to feel the reassuring weight of his hand in hers as they walked. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For leaving the shirt.”

Aaron nodded. He’d left it to see if it would help with nightmares. It was well worn and well-loved, but he figured she needed it more than he did. “Did it help?”

“Surprisingly,” she answered, smiling up at him briefly. “Aaron, we do need to talk.”

This was the part of the night he’d been both looking forward to and dreading. Emily had to know that his presence meant he wanted this, wanted to get to know her outside of the Bureau and the BAU. She had to know that he hadn’t made this decision lightly, had to know he’d been battling with this, with these feelings, since she’d been hospitalized.

“We have to make a choice. Well, _I_ have to make a choice and… There’s a lot to think about and consider before anything goes any further.”

That much he agreed with. “Do you want this?”

So he wasn’t going to beat around the bush. That was perfectly fine and even easier to Emily. Aaron had always been straight forward though, so it made perfect sense. “I do,” she admitted. “I really, really do.”

“But.”

“The team, the policies, the cases, the rumours… there’s going to be a lot to contend with.”

He knew that. He knew she knew he knew. Aaron didn’t have to do anything more than nod.

“I guess…” she paused, gathering her thoughts. “We need to have a game plan. We – _I_ – need to be sure-“

He interrupted her by kissing her, firmly and slowly. He watched her eyes flutter open as the slow heat of arousal spread through is abdomen. “Are you sure?”

All of those issues, she decided, they could deal with when they came up. The team wouldn’t care if she and their supervisor were occupying themselves with each other off the clock. The brass might, but they were good at their jobs for a reason, it couldn’t be that much more difficult. Emily looked at him, at the intensity of his gaze, at the imploring nature of their depths. Why was she even considering anything but yes? She had the opportunity staring her right in the face, she would be absolutely insane to turn it down now.

“Yes,” she said finally. “I’m sure.” She paused for a beat, the decision washing over her and making her almost giddy with excitement. “What about the team?”

Aaron knew JJ and Garcia would get it out of Emily eventually, and he wasn’t naïve enough to think that Morgan wouldn’t find out from their brilliant and bespectacled technical analyst. “They’re bound to find out somehow.”

She nodded her agreement. “We don’t admit it, but we don’t hide it?” she proposed. “It’ll probably be useless to hide it anyway.”

He started tugging her back to her apartment. He’d brought his ready bag, not out of a pretense of getting lucky, but because it would be easier come morning if he had everything already there. It wasn’t like they had a problem sharing a bed either.

The journey back to her apartment, including a short stop for him to pick up his bag, was made in silence and they went about their night time routines without words or fuss. There wasn’t anything to do or say, nothing that hadn’t already been. It felt like there was less weight on their shoulders, less to contend with come morning. They’d both taken a risk and they were both sure, in the long run, that they’d be handsomely rewarded.


	19. Chapter 19

She understood the necessity of being cleared for duty, really she did, but did it really have to start at eight am? And did it really have to take the entirety of her morning? Between the physical qualifications and the mandatory visit with the very redundant department shrink, Emily felt exhausted. That in itself was a terrifying thought. If she was tired after only a morning, there was no way she was going to survive on the road.

When Monday morning rolled around, however, she didn’t much care about stamina. She was really just glad to be getting back to work. She debating going straight up to Aaron’s office – she’d actually kept her return date secret, though he knew she’d passed the eval – but knew there would be more of a shock factor if she was sitting at her desk. It was where she fully intended to go, until she realized sitting at her desk would be boring. She didn’t have anything to do or anything to read, but Derek’s desk was not only closer, but had files strewn across the top. So, after stowing her ready bag under her desk, it’s usual home, she plopped herself in Derek’s chair.

“Ma’am, I’m afraid you can’t be looking at those.”

Emily looked up, startled, to find a young woman standing just over her left shoulder. The woman couldn’t have been much younger than Emily, though the brunette would have put her somewhere between herself and JJ, wearing work-appropriate dress pants and a stylish black blazer. To Emily, it was an interesting cross between BAU agent, and take-me-seriously.

“Are you waiting for Agent Morgan?”

Emily smiled. “Yeah,” she agreed. It was at least part of the truth.

“I’m afraid he isn’t in yet.”

Oh, this was getting better and better. Emily could tell the woman thought she was there as one of Derek’s many lady friends. “I’ll wait.” She had her badge, though she was sure the woman couldn’t tell if it was a serious FBI badge or a visitor’s credentials. It wasn’t prudent to ask. Emily, on the other hand, could ask almost anything she wanted. “Do you work here?”

The woman’s smile was tight. “Just transferred from the Washington office.”

Washington office meant politically savvy. New transfer meant appointee. Emily resisted the urge to roll her eyes and the other urge to wince. There was no way Aaron would have been happy with another transfer he hadn’t personally approved before hand. “Do you like it?”

“We haven’t had a case,” the younger agent lamented. “I’m not sure I’d be invited to go with the team if we did.”

Emily remembered that feeling and felt a pang for the newbie. It wasn’t an easy task in a family like theirs. The brunette looked up along with the redhead when laughter preceded the opening of the BAU’s doors. It seemed like it had been a team affair for lunch that day and Emily grinned as all four of her teammates strolled into the bullpen. Garcia was the first to spot her.

“Em!” she exclaimed rushing over to give the other woman a hug. “How are you?”

“Good,” Emily answered with a wide smile. “Really, really good.”

JJ was next, squeezing her quickly. “Glad to hear it.”

Derek looked her up and down once, clucking his tongue in playful appreciation. “You wouldn’t know you were even out,” he complimented as he bestowed his own tight hug on her. He’d missed her and had no problem whispering that into her ear.

Emily knew exactly what he meant, but just laughed as she hugged Reid.

“What brings you here?” the team’s youngest agent inquired as he took a seat at his desk. The rest of the team was scattered around the small area, including the woman Emily had yet to be introduced to.

“Last time I checked, I worked here.”

JJ and Garcia squealed. Reid smiled. Derek grinned widely. “Then by all means.”

“You passed everything?” JJ asked

Emily grinned as she nodded, the corner of her eye fixed on the new girl. She vaguely wondered if the woman knew who she was. “Last week. The lovely Dr. Sals held out until the last minute to clear me for today.”

It went without saying that they all wanted to be sure the shrink’s diagnosis was a good one before she came back. With the psychos they dealt with on a regular basis, the last thing they needed was one for a teammate. They all spun when the doors to the BAU slammed open and none other than Aaron Hotchner stormed through. He looked to be in a right fury and even Emily shivered. The new agent stood just a little bit straighter as he passed, completely unaware of what was going on.

“He’s been like that since Thursday afternoon,” JJ confided. “I have a new case, but I’m afraid to present it to him.”

“Know what it’s about?” Emily asked as casually as she could. She knew she could go into his office with the pretence of explaining to her boss that she’d be back next week, but she wanted to know what she was going to wade into before she did so. She sighed when all eyes moved to the new girl.

“SSA Prentiss, meet SSA Jane Morrow, our new recruit.”

Emily shot Derek a reproachful look at the spite she could hear in his voice, even as she shook the woman’s hand.

“Prentiss?”

Emily smiled, though she was sure there was less friendliness in it than she wanted there to be. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Morrow was flustered, they could all tell. “Um, you too.”

“You going to tell Hotch you’re back?” JJ asked, shifting the focus.

“I might as well. Unless you’d rather wait until you’ve presented the case?” With JJ’s very serious shake of her head, Emily took to the stairs, knowing the team’s eyes were on her the whole time. Reid and Morgan had only been privy to progress reports and she knew they would feel better knowing she was walking and climbing stairs with no problems. She knocked on Aaron’s door, waiting patiently until he told her to enter and closing the door behind her. Since his blinds were drawn, blocking out the bullpen, Emily knew he was in a bit of a steamy mood.

“I’m back,” she said in a soft, sing-song voice, settling herself into a chair.

He grunted.

“Perfect timing too. JJ’s got a case for us.”

He grunted again.

“Aaron.” His eyes met hers and she held them for a moment to ensure she had his full attention. “Hey there.”

His eyes focused on her and he shook his head. “Sorry. A lot on my mind.”

Emily sighed, unfolding herself from the chair to move around and lean beside him, against his desk. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with SSA Morrow, now, would it?”

Aaron smiled. “And why would you think that?”

“Because I told you today is my first day back, in perfect time for the next case and you didn’t bat an eye,” she answered matter-of-factly.

“A new case?”

Emily resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Morrow was really bothering him. She knew he was as antsy for her to be back in the field as she was, and as anxious as the rest of the team. “JJ would have presented it to you already if you hadn’t had steam coming out of your ears. Morrow seems nice.”

“Strauss is pulling strings.”

Emily’s breath caught in her throat. She’d been an unwitting pawn in Strauss’ games before, especially when rising in the ranks of the FBI had been important to her. But she’d quickly learned that the team was more important than any promotion. “I’m sure we could use the help.” Part of her wasn’t sure about the new girl – residual distrust in the team meant rough going – but she remembered what it was like to be her. “At least you had all of her paperwork.”

Aaron sighed, leaning his head back against the chair. “I know we could use the help,” he said finally.

She wanted to hug him, but they were in the BAU and she knew that even behind closed doors, if they wanted this to work, they were going to have to do it all hands off. “Give her a chance,” she said softly. “Distrust is normal, but she could end up being part of the family.”

He smiled at her. “Think so.”

She grinned. “Know so.”

He nodded, slipping back into agent mode. In response, she moved back around the desk. He was glad for the space. “Why are you here?”

She gave him a reproachful look. “This is why it’s beneficial to _listen_ ,” she said. “Did you not hear me say today’s my first day back?”

He smiled widely. “Welcome back. What does it feel like?”

Emily grinned back. “Like I never left.”

With the exception of the nightmares, but Aaron wasn’t going to comment. “Send JJ in.”

Emily grinned at her tense colleagues as she stepped out of the office. “You’re up, JJ,” she said as she descended the stairs.

“He going to bite my head off?” the blond asked.

“Doubtful.”

Derek raised an eyebrow, darting a glace to Morrow. “You seem happy.”

“Wouldn’t you be? I’m back.”

“And get underpaid for dealing with the sickest psychos,” the dark-skinned man responded, though a smile tilted the corners of his mouth.

Emily shrugged, unable to hold back a small smile. “You know us, we’re all gluttons for punishment.”

Derek flat out laughed. It was most definitely the truth. He looked up as JJ stepped out of the office looking grim, but satisfied.

“Ten minutes, conference room.”

Everyone moved and Emily watched with a sense of supreme satisfaction. It was good to be back.


	20. Chapter 20

Even as she relaxed on the plane, Emily knew, in theory, she had no place there. Technically, she wasn’t cleared for duty, and she had to admit, on the inside, it almost felt a little bit like a test for Agent Morrow. The team would let her give opinions and help with the profile, but even she wasn’t going to risk going out into the field to talk to witnesses or families until she got the go-ahead. The question would be how much the team let her do, and how much that was going to be governed by their latest addition.

“Alright, let’s go over the case before we land,” Aaron said from across from her. They’d both been looking over various documentation that they had spread across the table, Reid to Aaron’s left. She was tapping an erratic rhythm on his foot while she worked. Derek took the seat beside her while JJ and Morrow leaned against nearby chairs.

“He hunts women, but that’s the only discernable pattern in victimology,” Emily started, spreading out the pictures of the six missing women they were heading to Sacramento to find. “Redhead, brunette, blond… he doesn’t seem that picky.”

“He’s probably attractive,” Derek added, looking over the pictures. At the confused looks of his colleagues he shrugged. “If I was these girls? I’d be picky. The guy would have to be as hot as me at least, especially at their ages.”

Emily hit Derek for his slightly sexist comment, but voiced her agreement. “At 22 to 25 I doubt they’re in any hurry to find Mr Right.”

“Especially looking at their jobs,” JJ agreed, shuffling through papers she’d snatched out of the files before boarding the plane. “Interns at high power companies, four out of six had degrees from prestigious schools… three of them modeled to pay their ways through school.”

“Brains and beauty,” Derek said with a grin. “A deadly combination, no matter which way you look at it.”

“They went missing in the middle of the day,” Morrow offered tentatively. “He’s got confidence that he can lure them without anyone really noticing.”

“Charming,” Derek subtly agreed. “Though I retract my attractive comment. He could be luring them with a ruse.”

The computer between Emily and Aaron beeped as Garcia’s face popped up on the screen. “Alright, Crime Fighters, here’s the latest and greatest. None of your girls attended the same college, lived in the same neighbourhood, none of them have so much as a sibling that attends or attended the same school at any point. But here’s the kicker, four of your girls, Katrina Stark, Stephanie Lite, Chloe Floam and Madeline Ray show calls to the same number for about a week before they went missing.”

“Address is-“

Garcia interrupted Derek before he could finish. “Sent to all appropriate cell phones. Owner should be coming through on the jet’s fax in 4, 3, 2!”

Sure enough, the offending device started to beep. Morrow picked up the page as Derek grinned at their technical guru. “You are brilliant, Gorgeous.”

Garcia preened. “Oh please, like I didn’t know that.”

“Number is registered to Tim Woodson. Land line,” Morrow volunteered, handing the page to Derek.

“Nothing on this guy. Not even so much as a speeding ticket.”

Emily took the page and raised an eyebrow before displaying it to her other teammates. “I don’t think this is our guy anyway.” The man was about sixty in age, old enough to have a son that would be of age to kidnap six women.

Aaron nodded. “Garcia, look into his family, see if he has any sons, cousins, nieces or nephews with connections to our victims.”

“On it,” her voice chimed.

“And employees that may have worked with all of our victims,” Emily suggested without thinking twice. “Down to the custodial staff.” It really didn’t feel like she’d been on medical leave at all. Her mind felt sharp as she looked through the files, the gears of her mind linking back together like she’d never left.

“That is going to take forever,” Garcia lamented.

“And we wouldn’t trust it to anyone but the best,” Derek replied with a charming grin.

Emily watched Garcia’s eyes light up with the praise and had to resist the urge to laugh. They did pair off, and it was almost painfully obvious between Garcia and Derek. _Really,_ Emily thought, _She’s bugging me to take a chance._

“When we land, Morgan, take Morrow and go talk to Mr Woodson, see what his connection is to our victims. Reid, Prentiss, and I will head to the station with JJ. I want to see how much they know.”

Emily had almost jumped two feet in the air when he’d used her last name. It was smart. He hadn’t used anything but while on the job so it made sense to keep using it. She made a mental note to watch that herself. It was still a shock. She looked down at the file in front of her, crossing her legs. She almost jumped when she felt a foot tap hers and tried to hide her smile. Footsies was so junior high. Emily hoped she wasn’t blushing.

 

The first thing Emily did upon stepping off the BAU jet was remove her jacket. She loved the put together professional look, but it was warm enough to go without and she’d developed an aversion to suffocating clothing. She, Reid, JJ and Aaron loaded their bags into the back of a Sacramento-provided standard issue SUV before climbing in. Emily had kept one of the files with her. Something about Madeline Ray’s disappearance wasn’t sitting right. So she spent the ride trying to dig into what on earth could be wrong about Madeline’s disappearance.

They made an interesting picture as they walked into the Sacramento police station, just across the I-80 from the Sacramento FBI office. Between JJ, Aaron and herself, there was a distinct air of professionalism. All three of them were in business suits – except, naturally, Reid, who looked like a grad student instead of an FBI agent, if grad students carried a holstered gun on his right hip – and knew they made an impressive display.

“BAU?”

JJ was the one that smiled and extended her hand to the Oriental officer that greeted them. “I’m Supervisory Special Agent Jareau. You must be Officer Kian.”

The other woman smiled at the blond. “Jill. Thanks so much for coming.”

JJ nodded. “SSA Prentiss and SSA Dr. Reid,” she introduced. “And Special Agent In Charge Hotchner.”

She nodded to all of the agents in turn. “Thanks for coming,” she said again.

Aaron reached out to shake her hand. “Do you have somewhere we could set up? The faster we can get started, the faster we can find him.”

Jill nodded. “We’ve got one conference room that’s all yours. This way.”

 

Emily sighed in the passenger seat of Officer Jill Kian’s unmarked. She knew Aaron was reluctant to let her actually work the field and if she was him, she would be too. But she and Reid were the only two agents left in the precinct when the call had come in.

\--

_“So I did some digging. Turns out all six of our women are actually from the same area, but there’s nothing that says they so much as crossed paths, let alone met.”_

_Emily sighed at Garcia’s face as she jotted down the information. “We’ll have to canvass the neighbourhood.”_

_Garcia cocked her head to the side, considering her friend. “You okay?”_

_“Sometimes I forget that this is hard work,” Emily responded candidly, knowing no one else was in the room. Aaron and JJ had gone off to interview the family of the last missing girl and Reid was off in his own little world. Even if Reid was listening, she knew he respected her enough not to say anything._

_“It’s your first day back, let alone your first case. It’s natural that you’re a little out of it.”_

_“I never thought I’d wish for paperwork,” Emily grinned to the blond._

_Garcia laughed. “You said it yourself, we’re all gluttons for punishment.”_

_Emily knew Garcia had been working away while she was chatting. “What else?”_

_“I’ve looked through everything sugar, I can’t find so much as a dry cleaner these women shared.”_

_“There’s got to be_ something. _” Exasperation was obvious in her voice._

_“Honey, we’ve been on this a day. My babies haven’t come back with results on that search of their jobs. I’m still looking.”_

_Garcia’s optimism made her relax a little bit. Jill’s frown sent that relaxation packing._

_“They found a body.”_

_Emily’s eyebrow rose. Kidnapping to murder?_

_“It’s Stephanie Lite’s.”_

\--

She opened her eyes as the car rolled to a stop, pulling her cell out of pocket as she did so. She’d been holding off on calling Aaron, not because she wanted to be in the field – she was grateful for Jill and Reid’s company – but because she didn’t want to interrupt his meeting with the latest victim’s family. Even as she looked at the device, she debated between a phone call and a text. Then changed her mind completely.

“Morgan.”

“Emily. Stephanie Lite’s body showed up.” She heard Derek blow out a breath.

“Hotch?”

“Went with JJ to interview the Rays.”

“You?”

Emily winced. “At the scene with Reid and Officer Kian.”

He chuckled, though the sound was slightly forced. “We’re on our way.”

Emily rattled off directions before turning back to the body. They hadn’t covered Stephanie up yet and Emily shivered as she scanned her eyes over her.

“Overkill,” Reid murmured.

Emily nodded absently, her eyes meeting that of the ME.

“I count thirteen stab wounds so far, but I’ll have a more accurate count once we get her back to the morgue. Your cause of death is most definitely exsanguination.”

Emily and Reid exchanged a look. “If we could get that report as soon as possible?”

“Officer Kian will have it as soon as I’m done,” the man responded. “This is one of the missing girls?”

Emily tried for a smile. “Yeah.”

This was going to stay with her. 


	21. Chapter 21

Emily relaxed against the booth in the bar of the hotel they were staying. She’d dropped her bag in her room and come down to find something to eat. She was used to eating little on cases, but there always came a time where there was no way she could ignore her stomach. She knew the team would be down momentarily. They liked to debrief at the end of the day, get caught up on the bits of the cases they hadn’t exactly been privy to. And after what she’d seen, she could really do with some team time.

Derek was the first one to join her. “Hey.”

She smiled at the way he eyed her glass. “Water’s supposed to be healthy.”

He chuckled. “Habit.”

“You’ve had a drink on a case.”

Derek shrugged. “Sometimes you just need the release.”

She knew that feeling. She blew out a breath.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, even though he knew the answer she’d give.

“Fine.”

Derek considered her for a moment. Emily was a strong woman and he’d actually started to admire her ability to compartmentalize. In most cases, she was a virtual rock, but it would be inhuman to see what they had at that dumpsite and _not_ be affected. She was saved from further interrogation by Agent Morrow’s appearance. She perched herself on the opposite side of Derek and Emily. Emily smiled, trying to make the gesture as welcoming as possible.

Agent Morrow’s shoulders didn’t relax. “Where is everyone?”

“Probably settling in,” Emily replied while Derek gave an indifferent shrug.

Sure enough, it wasn’t much longer before JJ and Reid wandered down. JJ sighed as she plopped down, stealing a few gulps of Emily’s water before signaling for another one. Four were promptly delivered to the talbe.

“So the Rays said Madeline was the perfect daughter,” JJ said. She glanced at Emily and Reid. “I was almost jealous you got to stay at the precinct.”

Morrow looked positively affronted that JJ had spoken about their case. “Aren’t we going to wait for Agent Hotchner.”

JJ cocked her head politely. “He did the interview with me,” she pointed out.

Emily jumped in. “I take it Madeline wasn’t as perfect as her parents thought?”

“The journal is just the beginning. Hotch and I virtually tore the woman’s apartment to shreds.”

“She lives with her parents, doesn’t she?” Reid asked.

JJ nodded. “Basement apartment. Pays them rent.”

“Her choice or theirs?” Emily asked. There was still something that still didn’t feel right about Madeline Ray’s disappearance.

“Hers,” JJ answered. “Said she wanted the responsibility.”

“Then why not move out completely?” Derek asked.

“Her journal talked about how her parents were suffocating her, stifling her independence. We were hoping to go over it tomorrow.”

Derek turned to Emily. “You’re on to something.”

Emily shook her head. “Maybe not. It just doesn’t really make sense.” She sighed, eyeing her water glass. “I’m going to get another glass. Anyone?” No one took her up on the offer so Emily made her way to the bar alone. It was busy, but with the way her mind was swirling, Emily didn’t mind the wait.

“You look exhausted.”

She smiled as she turned to face Aaron’s worried face. “I’ll be fine.”

Aaron just stood there waiting. They’d lived together for five months, he knew her better than that.

She sighed. “Something’s not right.”

“Stephanie Lite’s body?” She looked slightly chastised and he hid a smile. “Or Madeline Ray?”

“Madeline Ray,” Emily responded. “I don’t think she’s a kidnap victim.” She pinched her nose. “I could use with some sleep.”

“Go up to bed,” he suggested.

She shook her head. “I want to be here. I came back.”

He admired that she wanted to pull her own weight, but he’d rather her be a hundred percent in the morning rather than be there for the catch-up game. Still, she could be stubborn when she wanted to be. They made their way back to the table, JJ scooting over beside Reid to make room for them both.

“Stephanie Lite’s body showed up today,” Derek began with a brief nod at his boss.

“I heard. Stabbed to death.”

“ME counted 13 stab wounds at the time. Autopsy’s on rush so we should have the official number tomorrow.”

“I’ll monitor the media on that one. Right now, all the girls are missing. We’re going to have to talk to the families of the other victims,” JJ said, already typing it into her PDA.

“Statistically, none of these girls are alive,” Reid pointed out. “Most offenders don’t want to leave victims behind.”

“No one wants to leave witnesses,” Morrow said.

“Not true,” Reid disagreed, so deep in his thoughts that he missed the slightly condescending tone. “If a victim lives to tell, there’s attention in that.”

Emily cocked her head. “But then he dumps Stephanie Lite’s body deep in the woods, covers it up. That says he doesn’t want attention.”

“Then why take six girls?” Derek asked.

Emily felt her eyelids start to droop. She’d tried to cut back on the time of her naps, but she’d gotten so used to them, not having one made her utterly exhausted. Which was exactly how she was feeling now. She pinched her thigh, inadvertently brushing Aaron’s and watched him tense up. She resisted the urge to laugh, even as his foot knocked against hers in a subtle attempt to scold her.

Morrow shrugged, looking to all the world like she had the answers. “Taunting law enforcement.”

Emily winced. She hoped she hadn’t sounded that superior when she’d first started.

“But we just established he doesn’t want attention,” Reid almost squawked. “He hasn’t contacted us and hasn’t initiated contact with any sort of symbol left on the body.”

Aaron could tell Emily was fading fast. “We’ll pick it up tomorrow. Get some rest,” he ordered, leading by example and standing. The rest followed, though Aaron waited until Emily passed before following. He and Derek kept pace together and Aaron knew the African American man was keeping a close an eye on Emily as he was. He relaxed when Emily followed JJ into the room they were sharing. He sighed, hoping she would have a nightmare-less sleep.

 

_She had no idea where she was. It was dark, damp and cold, that much she knew. It smelled like it felt, that indescribably dank smell that spoke of mould and moss. Her hands were tied behind her, ropes cutting into her wrists and probably rubbing blood onto the rope. It was burning and painful._

_Something in front of her opened, blinding her with the sudden light. She whimpered with the intrusion, turning her face away, even as her eyes briefly made out the silhouette of a man._

_“Come now,” he said, in a voice meant to be soothing. “Don’t be like that.” He came around, pulling her up. She screamed as she put weight on her right leg. The searing pain blinded her for a moment and she stumbled. It was that moment she saw the knife in his other hand._

_He growled. “Come on, bitch. Get up.”_

_Fear pushed adrenaline through her body and helped her ignore at least the edge of the pain. She limped as fast as she could, trying to keep up with his rapid pace. She stumbled, once, twice, three times. The third time, he yanked her up by her hair._

_“You’re useless.”_

_Then came the startlingly familiar pain in her left side, followed by the right, then the middle of her stomach. She tried to raise her arms, but they were still tied. She was utterly helpless and she was going to die. She was screaming, moaning, whimpering, feeling the blood seep out of her and the air leave her lungs._

She bolted upright with a start, panting heavily, her eyes wide with panic. She hadn’t for a second believed that the nightmares would go away simply because she was on a case, and really, she should have expected that they would actually become the case. Stephanie Lite had been tied up, one arm yanked out of her socket, a shattered ankle and kneecap.

Emily shuddered, wrapping her arms tighter around herself as she tried to remind her pounding heart that she wasn’t kidnapped. She was perfectly safe and sound in the hotel, in Sacramento, with the BAU. She glanced over at her roommate, pleased to see JJ was unfazed by her dreams.

She had her phone in her hand when the shadows threw a pattern on her wall and speed dialing when she heard footsteps down the corridor.

“Hotchner.”

Emily groaned mentally, hoping her breathing didn’t sound as harsh as it was. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to make sound come out.

“Emily?”

“Hi.” She wasn’t sure she’d meant to call, but felt marginally better at hearing his voice.

“Is everything okay?”

“I… um… I…” She could hear sheets rustling as he moved.

“I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

Emily didn’t think twice about the consequences the next morning. Jane Morrow wasn’t even on her radar as she sprung out of bed, cellphone still clutched in her hand, and almost ran the few steps to his door. Sure enough, as she pushed on it, the deadbolt had been turned to prop the door open. She pushed the door, stepping inside and turning the deadbolt back so the wood fully latched shut. She sagged into him as his arms wrapped around her from behind, spinning and burying her head in his shoulder.

Aaron didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t seen her this unstable because of her nightmare since the beginning. She’d been able to expressly differentiate between what was real and what wasn’t to put what wasn’t aside and focus on what was. Which, when he thought about it, sounded almost confusing in his head, but it was true. Emily was strong, she always had been.

But the woman shaking in his arms was anything but. Aaron tried everything he could to make the tremours dissipate. He stroked her back, her hair, whispered to her that she was fine and everything was okay, but to no avail. Her crying had stopped, but the shaking hadn’t.

Eventually she pulled away, though one hand was still fisted in his shirt at the base of his spine. “Sorry,” she murmured. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“You shouldn’t,” he agreed, even as he pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. “Did you bring the t-shirt?”

Emily nodded, not meeting his gaze. “It didn’t smell like you when I put it on. I guess it was spending too much time in my bag.”

He nodded, one hand still stroking through her hair. “Come on.”

“We can’t,” she protested, even as she allowed him to pull her to the bed. She sat on the edge and watched him set the alarm for half an hour earlier than he needed to get up. “Aaron-“

“We need you at a hundred percent,” he said frankly, straight to the point. “Sleep.”

She did.


	22. Chapter 22

Emily woke slowly, warmly cocooned between blanket and comfortable-smelling fabric. Her mind flashed back to her time in Aaron’s house, even as her body protested sleeping on a much harder mattress. She wasn’t in his home, her body was screaming. It took her absolutely exhausted mind a few minutes to catch up.

Work.

Six missing girls.

Dead body of Stephanie Lite.

Her nightmare.

Aaron’s comforting arms.

Her eyes opened, her body surprisingly alert for the lack of sleep she’d gotten the previous night. Her sleep since she’d climbed into bed with Aaron – against her better judgment; they were on a case after all – had been extremely restful. There hadn’t been another nightmare, hadn’t been so much as a murky picture, though she was sure it wouldn’t last long. She didn’t want to get up in the slightest, but if she was careful, she could probably get up, get back to her room and set the alarm to wake him at his usual time. She felt guilty enough that he’d felt obligated to help her, to hold her while the fear abated. The least she could do was let him get the extra fifteen minutes of sleep he would have been sacrificing for the alarm.

The fact that it meant she didn’t have to face him and talk about the nightmares, was a pretty good reason to skip out early too.

He was on his back, his left arm curled around her body to hug her shoulders. His other arm was flung across his stomach. No problem there. Her leg was thrown over his and she knew it wouldn’t take much effort to slide it back to it’s mate so she could gain more leverage to slide herself out of his embrace. It didn’t take long. She’d had a few scares along the way, but when Aaron was comfortable, he slept like the dead.

Emily felt the guilt return as she stood beside the bed, looking down at him. She’d have to leave a note in addition to resetting the alarm. It took some digging but eventually she found the hotel’s pad of paper and a pen in the slew of folders on the table. She rolled her eyes affectionately at the notes he’d made before ripping off a fresh page and jotting down not only her apology, but her extreme gratitude in the best way she knew how. Then she left.

It was only when she was standing outside of the room she shared with JJ that she remembered she’d forgotten her key. With a sigh and the knowledge that she was in for some serious questions, she knocked on the door.

JJ looked confused, but only slightly rumpled when she opened the door not a moment later.

“I forgot my key,” Emily offered. “You’re up early.”

“I could say the same for you,” JJ answered as she stepped aside to let the brunette through. “Where did you go?”

Chronic blushing would give her away, Emily was almost sure of it, but it didn’t meant she couldn’t try for the lie. “Out.”

JJ simply raised an eyebrow.

“Can we not talk about it?”

The incredulity turned to concern. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes. No.” Emily sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Is this about Stephanie Lite?”

Emily shook her head. “Thirteen stab wounds.” It was part of what was haunting her. She’d known her first case back was going to be a rough one, even wondered if she’d see herself in the victims they were supposed to help, but she’d never expected it to be stabbing victims.

JJ watched her friend hug her midsection. She hadn’t seen Stephanie’s body, but she could imagine what it looked like. They’d seen enough brutal stabbing victims on the job that one almost blended into another these days. It was a callous way of looking at it, but sometimes it made it easier.  “Nightmare?”

Emily knew she didn’t have to answer the question. JJ hadn’t seen the body, hadn’t had the opportunity to see how angry their unsub had been when he finally killed her. She sighed and sat down on the edge of ‘her’ bed. “It’s hard.”

“It’s always hard,” JJ pointed out, her arms crossed under her breasts. “I can understand that this one could be harder.”

Emily nodded. “It’s stupid.”

“Of course not,” JJ contradicted, sitting across from Emily on the bed she’d claimed. “We all have the nightmares, you know that.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Emily responded with a small smile. “You want first shower?”

JJ shook her head. She had an inkling of where Emily had disappeared to and would bet her job that she’d been there more than an hour or two. “Go ahead.”

JJ sighed when Emily closed the bathroom door behind her and made her way down to the lobby for a quick check of the morning papers. Sure enough, splashed across the front page was the death of Stephanie Lite. That she could deal with. Her mind was already churning with the possibilities of what she could do. Any details would have to be kept top secret, but the fact that the media ran with the story wasn’t exactly a surprise. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Jesus, Morgan.”

The African American smiled. “A little wrapped up in the job?”

JJ smiled. “Something like that.”

He cocked his head to the side. He wanted to ask her what was up. Really, this case was the opposite of a media circus.

The blond didn’t even need him to ask. “Em forgot her key this morning?”

Derek’s eyebrow arched. “Seriously?”

“Since when does she get up before the alarm on a case? Since when do any of us get up before the alarm on a case.”

Derek narrowed his eyes. “You think she’s hiding something.”

“Nothing particularly scandalous,” JJ contradicted. _And I wouldn’t exactly call a relationship that was long-coming scandalous_. “Just something she wouldn’t want any of us to know.” _Just yet._

“It’s not exactly a surprise.”

“No,” JJ agreed. Then she sighed. “We’re all on edge with her.”

“True.” There was no use in denying it. “And with good reason.”

“I don’t know,” she admitted, not looking at him. “She made a good point, she’s not Elle. She had someone to stay with while she recovered. She knows we need her.”

“Hey,” Derek said, gently knocking his elbow against hers. “It’s natural to worry. She’s like our sister, we all know that.” JJ took a deep breath and Derek grinned as he watched the blond’s game face wash over her striking features. “That’s a girl.”

JJ actually chuckled. “I’m off for my shower.”

Derek nodded toward the restaurant again. “I’ll grab a big table.”

JJ passed Reid coming out of the elevator as she was going in and smiled briefly. Reid watched the doors close in confusion before he saw Derek. “What was that about?”

“Em.”

Reid’s mouth opened in understanding. “Oh.”

 

Morrow was just stepping out of her room as Emily did and the latter felt a little guilty about the feeling of relief that washed over her. “Good morning.”

Morrow jumped. “Morning,” she said tentatively.

Emily was glad to see she was waiting. “Sleep okay?”

“As good as could be expected.”

Emily was not a fan of these guarded answers. “It’s hard.”

“BAU’s supposed to be hard.”

“Not what I meant.”

Morrow’s shoulders slumped.

“Look, I’m going to say this straight out. We’re a family. You’re either with us, or against us, and it is all for one and one for all. We protect our own, no matter what.” Emily wanted to make her see what she was getting herself into. If they had a mole in the team, there was no way they’d be able to do much of anything. They’d be too busy looking over their shoulders.

“Director Strauss put me here because she thought I was good.”

Emily raised an eyebrow. The girl was young, but not stupid. She couldn’t be to be part of their unit. “Me too.” She made the implication clear.

The widening of her eyes meant Morrow understood.

“It almost made me quit.” It was her parting shot and she sped up her pace. She could avoid the elevator and take the stairs. She had her purse with her pills so if the ache started she could pop one at the bottom and no one would be the wiser.

“Agent Prentiss?”

Emily stopped and turned. Morrow looked strong, but the twitching in her fingertips told her the opposite.

“Would you like to join me for breakfast?”

Emily smiled. It was a no brainer really, more because the team often had breakfast together, quiet time before the hectic day began. “JJ said Morgan was already down there. I’ll even buy you a cup of coffee.”

 

Aaron had been surprised to wake up alone. It sounded stupid, but when Emily had been having nightmares while on sick leave, he’d always been the first to wake. She didn’t know that, of course, mostly because he had a tendency to wake five minutes before his alarm in the morning. His internal alarm was good like that.

And he did wake up five minutes before his alarm went off, but as he rolled over to look at the time he realized that it was the five minutes before his usual wake up time, not the time he’d set the alarm for so he and Emily could get up with enough time for her to safely make her way back to her room. He pushed himself up and out of bed, going about his usual morning routine on autopilot. It wasn’t until he was double checking to make sure he had everything that the loud ringing sounded. Out of habit, he picked it up, not bothering to look at the caller.

“Hotchner.”

“Sir?”

“Garcia.”

“I found something, sir, on those girls.”

“Oh.”

“Um… Emily was looking for it. Uh…”

He heard her sigh.

“Sir, you know I respect you and so this won’t go any further than me, I swear, but…”

“Spit it out Garcia.”

“Sir, why are you answering Emily’s phone?”

Aaron’s eyes widened.

Crap.


	23. Chapter 23

Emily was only half paying attention to her colleagues around the breakfast table. Like Gideon, who had clued her into the habit to begin with, she did a crossword with her coffee to try and wake up her mind. She felt _him_ sit down in the empty chair beside her with his breakfast. She’d been stumped on the same clue for the past ten minutes and it was habit for her to hand it to him along with her pen.

“Eight down,” she said as she absently snatched a piece of fruit off of his plate. She’d done it so out of habit that the fruit was already in her mouth before she fully realized what had happened. She tried to keep down the blush as she locked eyes with Derek. “What happened with Tim Woodson?” She’d been dying to ask, but figured it would be better to get the information out when Aaron had arrived.

Aaron had forced himself not to react to their routine either. It was something she’d done while living with him. He filled in the boxes as he listened, as well as a few more words before handing it back to her and starting in on his meal.

“Garcia found a son, but both of them swear they’ve never heard of let alone met any of the girls,” Derek answered. “There’s no link between the Woodson’s and the victims either.”

Dead end.

“JJ if you could talk to Stephanie Lite’s family first thing? With the speculation of Madeline Ray’s disappearance, the more we could know the better.”

JJ nodded at Aaron’s request, then held up the front page. “I have to make some media calls, make sure this doesn’t go any further.”

“Take Morrow with you to talk to Stephanie’s parents,” Aaron said, watching JJ nod over the rim of his coffee cup.

“The autopsy report should be released this morning,” Reid spoke up raising his hand. “I’d like to get the medical examiner’s opinion.”

Aaron nodded his agreement. “Take Morgan.”

Derek agreed with a bob of his head. With the way Emily had reacted the previous night, it didn’t take a genius to see none of them really wanted her in the same situation again.

Emily knew it too and refrained from saying much. “Can we speak to the parents of the other missing girls? And friends or relatives. Stephanie Lite’s apartment too.” When she thought about it, it was a comically long list for the profilers.

“Anything from Garcia?”

“I’m checking in with her this morning,” Emily answered. “She went digging for newspaper articles, internet blogs…”

“Good,” Aaron agreed wiping his hands on his napkin. They rarely ate much in the morning, so breakfast was inevitably a speedy affair. He tossed back the rest off his coffee and looked around at his team. “We’ll check in around noon.”

 _Barring breakthroughs_ went unsaid.

They broke breakfast to head up and do last minute preparations in their rooms, though Emily was still puzzling over a riddle in the crossword and was determined to finish the puzzle before heading to the station. It didn’t surprise her much when Aaron didn’t move either, merely signaled their server for another cup of coffee. It left the two agents by themselves at the table. Emily actually jumped when his hand made contact with her arm.

“Everything okay?”

She tried for a placating smile. “I’m okay,” she promised.

Okay measured a cool medium on their scale of emotional turmoil. He withdrew her cell phone from his pocket and set it beside her hand. “You left that behind.” He watched her cheeks turn pink.

“Thank you.”

He shot a look over his shoulder, grateful that none of their team was present. “Regular nightmares?”

Emily sighed, turning her head to look at him. The look in his eyes told him he was going to talk to her about it. Really, she knew it would help, she just wasn’t sure she wanted to re-hash it all while they were still on the case. “Not really,” she said, setting down her pen and turning to face him. “My subconscious drew a picture of what it thought Stephanie Lite went through.”

He followed her lead, stamping down the spur of lust that shot through him when her knees absently made room for one of his. Everything they did these days was just natural. “Is it okay that you’re working with me? I know-”

“Yeah, its fine” she said immediately, before he could continue. In reality, it would probably be a huge help to have him close by, at least for a little while. It would be an interesting test of how well they could work together with the underlying current of tension.

He nodded. “And not in the field? You’re cleared but-“

Emily laughed. “Stop worrying,” she said, knocking his knee between hers. “I understand, Aaron. I do.”

He blew out a breath. “Let me run upstairs and grab my files. Back down here in five minutes?”

She nodded and looked up at him when he turned back to her.

“Oh, and call Garcia back.”

Emily blushed.

Damn it.

 

Emily had taken her time in getting back to the blond technical genius for two reasons. One, she wanted to put it off and two, she wanted to make sure it was just her and Penelope. Whatever she wanted to say she wanted to say to the blond alone without anyone, including Aaron, around to hear it. It was another day of people rushing in and out of the conference room, dropping off information and racing out to get more. They still only had one body.

Finally, Emily broke down and connected with Garcia.

“Do you want to go first or shall I?”

Emily had managed to find time when the rest of her team was out and about and had left almost simultaneously. It meant that she would be alone for a good hour, minimum and while she didn’t exactly relish that bit, it gave her a chance to iron things out with her friend.

“You. Professional, then personal.”

“Well, Sugar, I don’t think I’ve got anything here that’ll crack your case,” Penelope said with sincere apology. “The girls share a prestigious scholarship, but all from different years. None of them took that scholarship to the same university, none of them applied in the same year… nothing.”

Emily sighed. “What about the board? Any names jump out at you?”

“Nine,” Penelope replied. “They’re alternated every year.”

“Actually?” It wouldn’t be the first scholarship that _said_ it rotated it’s selection board members and didn’t follow through.

“So to speak,” Penelope agreed. “Three change every year. They serve three year terms.”

“From a pool of?”

Penelope sighed. “Look, hon, they’re not here.”

Emily blew out a breath. “Any connection to the victims? The victim’s families?”

“Quick search says nothing,” Penelope responded. “How can these girls hold the jobs they did, go to the schools they did and not be on anyone’s radar?”

“I don’t know,” Emily answered, flipping through Madeline Ray’s journal. Her train of thought shattered at the chirp of her cell phone.

“This is the not-so-secret boyfriend?” Penelope asked coyly as she watched Emily’s smile blossom.

_News?_

It was stupid. It was small. It was theoretically work. It made her insides warm. _No_ , she typed back. _They shared a scholarship_. She turned curious eyes back to Penelope. “Something like that.”

“Something like that? Did your dear white knight not pass on my message? And I know that look on your face, it’s the same one you had when the two of you were texting back when you were still on leave.”

Emily could feel the blush creeping up in her cheeks. “So what?”

“So that blush and the fact that your phone was in his _hotel room_ tells me that there’s something you’re holding in on us.”

Emily could hear typing in the background and her respect for the woman on her laptop screen grew. “Would you believe me if I told you I had a nightmare?”

“It would lead to another set of questions,” Penelope responded. “Like, even if you had a nightmare, why were you in your dream hunk’s bedroom?”

“Hotel room,” Emily corrected automatically and tried for a shrug.

“Nuh uh, Sugar Plum, not so easy. Nightmares are understandable, but seriously, Doll, I wasn’t born yesterday.”

Emily mumbled her response.

“Speak up,” Penelope ordered.

The other woman winced. “He makes me feel better.”

Penelope’s eyebrow arched high. “He what now?’

“Makes me feel better when I’ve had a nightmare,” Emily responded quickly, snatching up her phone when it started vibrating again.

_Scholarship is a dead end?_

_With a brick wall and everything,_ Emily typed back. _Garcia’s still looking._

“And how long has _that_ been going on? And what kind of comfort are we talking about? Oh, and what about- Oh my God.”

Emily’s head snapped up. “What is it.”

“Uh… I think I found exactly how our girls are seriously connected.” Penelope tilted her head at an odd angle. “I didn’t even know that was possible!”

“Garcia, what did you find?” Meanwhile, her fingers flew over the keys of her phone. _Hold that thought._

“Looks like our girls were into sharing a little bit more than we’d bargained for.”

“Oh?”

Emily waited. A link popped up on her screen. She looked to Garcia. “Should I be looking at this on company time?”

Suddenly, Penelope’s face changed, hardened. “Oh yeah, Peaches. You’re going to want to see this.”

Emily didn’t waste time.

 

“It feels almost predictable,” Derek said when he returned. The team was huddled around the conference room table assimilating the latest information into their profile. “Straight laced girls go dirty by porn? Seriously?”

“The sleezeball who runs the site is a board member for that scholarship,” Penelope’s disembodied voice came through Emily’s computer. “The board holds a gala every year to salute their scholarship winners.”

“He met them there, offered them a more lucrative job,” Emily suggested. “Even with a scholarship, student loans can be brutal.”

“And this is really only one step down from professional modeling,” Derek agreed looking at the pictures clinically. “But even if this is the connection there are hundreds of people that probably visit this site every day.”

“Internet pornography is a 2.84 billion dollar industry,” Reid rattled off. “About a quarter of the daily searches on search engines is for pornography and about 43 percent of internet users view pornography.”

“We’re assuming these girls got into the industry because they were invited,” Aaron started slowly. “There must be other users, people who maintain the site, who get to see all of this before it goes online?”

“Of course, sir,” Penelope responded. “Unfortunately, there are ways to get around the usual posting process. Someone with enough skill could get on there and post something that wasn’t supposed to be part of the site.”

“Which is how our unsub got that video up.”

The link Penelope had sent Emily had indeed taken her to a porn site, but as Emily had watched, what was supposed to be sex turned into something much more dangerous. “The question is, is our unsub the guy in the movie, or is he someone else entirely.”

“Like a user or a crew member,” Derek picked up. “Our suspect pool is going to be massive.”

“But we have a better starting point,” Aaron replied. “I think we’re ready to give our profile.”


	24. Chapter 24

It had been half way through the profile that the call had come in. They had a body number two and by the grim looks on the team’s faces, none of them were happy about it. They filed out of the police station, automatically splitting to SUVs, JJ tossing Morrow the keys as they plus Emily climbed into one car, Derek, Reid and Aaron went to the other. Kian rode with the girls.

“This isn’t good, right?” she asked.

“For the families and the friends? Of course not. For us, it could be,” Morrow answered tactlessly.

“We need more people to die?”

“Yes and no,” Emily said, shooting Morrow a half-hearted glare through the back of the seat. “We don’t want people to die, Jill, don’t think that for a second, but with every body we learn something about our unsub.”

Kian seemed placated for now.

They pulled up to the scene and Emily knew they made quite the picture as they jumped out of the SUVs. They moved smoothly and swiftly, flashing badges to get under the crime scene tape.

“Different dump site,” Derek said, looking around. “He didn’t try to hide her this time.”

“Maybe he was interrupted,” Morrow volunteered. “Didn’t have time to hide her and not be caught.” It was a plausible explanation.

“Same wrist marks as your first victim.” It was the same coroner that had looked at Stephanie Lite’s body.

“Rage like this is intimate,” Reid said, looking at the stab wounds.

Emily felt her stomach revolt slightly. She locked eyes with Aaron and both knew she’d be having nightmares again.

“Final stab wound count on Stephanie Lite was 22,” the coroner said. “I’ll get her back to the morgue and let you know.”

“Thanks,” Aaron said politely, eyes still taking in the scene around him.

“Katrina Stark has a boyfriend,” Kian said, stepping under the tape. She’d gotten a call just before stepping under the yellow tape. “Logan Kite.”

Emily’s eyebrow rose. “High power family.”

“You know them?” Derek asked, partially out of surprise. It was easy to forget that Emily was the daughter of a senator and an ambassador.

“Mother knows the family. They come to functions,” Emily said with a shrug. She watched Aaron debate with himself. It was a question of politics versus putting her in the field and they both knew it.

“Take JJ, go talk to him,” he said finally.

Emily and JJ exchanged a glance. “Old fashioned family, are you sure?”

“Two beautiful women? Maybe you’ll distract him and he’ll let something slip,” Derek teased, the corner of his mouth turning up. Sometimes lightheartedness was something they needed in their job.

Both women simply rolled their eyes but turned to head back to the cars. Emily seriously didn’t mind JJ driving. They waited until they were on the road to talk.

“Old fashioned family?”

“The Kite’s are of the old breed, the one where women are objects to be admired and shouldn’t be working.”

JJ’s eyebrow rose. “And we’re going to talk to this guy?”

Emily cocked an echoing eyebrow. JJ had chosen a flattering outfit for the day, an understated grey, skirt, and a pale blue tanktop and cardigan set that brought out her eyes and accented her blond hair. And Emily knew she wasn’t chopped liver herself. She’d gone with a light pink three-quarter length blouse and black pants. Both wore heels. “Wouldn’t you, looking like us?”

The blond laughed as she followed the GPS’s instructions to turn. She turned reflective when the laughter passed. “I missed you, you know.”

Emily smiled. She’d known that, but it always felt good to hear it. She had missed them all too, missed the joking like this, missed Derek’s borderline sexual harassment and missed Reid’s penchant to throw out obscure fact, even, apparently, about the porn industry. “I missed this too.”

JJ glanced over as Emily’s phone chirped. “We haven’t been gone five minutes!”

Emily chuckled as she looked at the text message.

_Be good._

Emily rolled her eyes, typing back what JJ had said. He didn’t acknowledge the short passage of time, just reiterated his point.

“What is it?”

“We have to play nice,” Emily responded absently, typing back a slightly scolding text message. _We keep doing this we’re going to be distracted._

JJ’s eyebrows hit her hairline. “He texted you to say that?”

The brunette winced internally. It was scary that JJ had caught on to who she was talking to so quickly. There was really no use in denying that now. “Yup?”

“Can you just get on with it already?” JJ asked in exasperation as she slowed to a stop at a red light. The houses around were getting bigger and fancier and both women knew they were getting closer.

Emily played dumb. “What?”

“He texted you for no good reason, we all saw the crossword exchange this morning, you’re comfortable together. Hell, Em, I’d bet my paycheck that’s where you were this morning.” She glanced over at her colleague to catch the blush. “And I’m right.”

“I had a nightmare,” Emily admitted. Aaron had been the hardest person to admit that too. JJ was much easier. Not to mention the blond was one of Emily’s closest friends.

“So you went to him?”

“I lived with him, Jayje.”

“Security blanket,” JJ nodded in understanding, pulling through the intersection. “You okay?”

“It’s a lot to handle, that’s all,” Emily repeated, looking down at the new message.

_I know you hate politics._

She snorted. _Understatement._

“So you said this morning.  I don’t buy it.”

Emily sighed. She hadn’t even spoken to Aaron about all this, had almost flat out refused to. “These girls are being stabbed. It makes my nightmares a little bit more realistic.” Thankfully, JJ didn’t ask any more than that.

“What am I getting myself into here?”

Emily closed her eyes, trying to remember the people she was dealing with. “They made their money off of some serious investments and multiple small businesses.”

JJ let out a low whistle. “Kite International?”

“Mmhmm,” Emily agreed, looking down at her phone.

_Stark family interview._

She nodded as she typed her reply. _Kite house momentarily. Check in when we’re done._

“And you know them?”

“Mother and Mrs Kite often cross paths on the gala planning circuit,” Emily replied, her distaste for the lifestyle apparent. “Mother’s taken up the practice.”

“Charities?”

“Mostly,” Emily agreed. “They sit on the same committees for two or three charities.”

“For someone who hates them, you sure know a lot about them,” JJ said.

“I’ve been to my fair share,” Emily replied contemptuously. “We don’t talk about it.”

JJ smiled. “Meat market?”

“Right on. You know a lot yourself.”

“We have our own types of meat markets in Pennsylvania,” she replied. “Now I live in Virginia and my job keeps me busy enough that I can tell my mother no.”

“Me too,” Emily agreed, then grinned at JJ. “Thank God.”

Both women laughed.

 

 Aaron knocked on the door of the Stark house, Morgan at his side. Reid and Morrow were heading back to the precinct with Kian to await the coroner’s report on Katrina Stark and add her death to their case spread. A red-eyed woman opened the door. “Can I help you?”

“Mrs Stark, we’re with the FBI.”

Her eyes widened. “My baby? Is this about my baby? Where is she? She’s not…?”

Aaron exchanged a look with Morgan. He hated this part, just like every other agent did. “Mrs Stark, I’m afraid we found your daughter’s body this morning.”

Tears welled and cascaded down the woman’s cheeks as a cry of anguish tore from her throat. Morgan caught her as she went down, unsurprised to hear hurried footsteps from the back of the house.

“Alice? What the hell happened?!”

Morgan happily allowed the husband to take Mrs Stark from him. “Sir, we’re with the FBI. Agents Morgan and Hotchner. We’re here about your daughter.” Both agents watched the news wash over the man. Still, he held strong.

“We wondered when we’d be getting this visit,” he said tiredly. “She’s been gone over a month.”

“May we come in?” Aaron asked.

Mr Stark nodded, half helping, half carrying his wife to the couch in the nearby sitting room. “When did you find her?”

“This morning,” Morgan answered, sincere sympathy dripping from his voice. “We’re sorry for your loss.”

Mr Stark winced at the government line. “You said you had questions?”

Aaron nodded. “Do you know of anyone who would do this to your daughter?”

“Kat was a really good girl, sir. And I’m not just saying that. She worked hard and for what she wanted. She deserved that job with Kite International.”

“Could someone be jealous of her? Think she didn’t deserve the position because of her relationship with Logan Kite?”

Mr Stark deflated. Mrs Stark sniffled. “Kat always said she knew a different Logan. She swore he’d never make her give up the work she loved so much.”

“You didn’t believe that,” Aaron said, more of a statement than a question.

“Not at all. He was always subtly digging when he came for dinner and we know he was trying to convince her to quit. His parents too. I’ve never seen Kat so down as when she came back from dinner with his family,” Mr Stark agreed. “She’d laugh it off when she was at home. She loved him, but she loved her job too.”

Aaron nodded, then folded his hands, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Mr and Mrs Stark, were you aware of your daughter’s extracurricular activities?”

Morgan and Aaron expected a ‘no’. They got the opposite.

“You mean the website?” Mrs Stark asked. “Yes. We didn’t approve, but it was Kat’s decision.”

“It was supposed to pay her way through college. As you can see, Agent Hotchner, we’re not exactly the Kites,” Mr Stark agreed. “Kat said she was always careful.”

Aarons phone chirped and he exchanged a look with Morgan. They had all they needed, really. He stood up and shook hands with both parents. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “I’m so sorry.”

Both nodded. Mrs Stark walked them to the door. “Could it be him?” she asked. “Logan, I mean.”

“He’s a person of interest,” Aaron responded.

She nodded, looking away, her hands shaking.

Morgan could tell the woman was barely holding it together. “Mrs Stark, we will find out who did this to your daughter.”

Mrs Stark nodded. “Thank you, Agent Morgan.”

Aaron waited until they were in the car before pulling out his phone and checking Emily’s text message.

_Arrogant, condescending son of a bitch._

He couldn’t hold in the smile that tilted the corners of his mouth. _That bad?_

“Em?”

He hoped his surprise was hidden at the way Morgan knew who he was texting. “Kite gave them a hard time.”

Morgan shrugged. “It was what we expected.”

Aaron knew the man was a little off center with Mrs Stark’s primal reaction. He could feel it too and was glad for the chance to connect with Emily. Her next message came though before he could come up with a reply for Morgan.

_I was glad I knew what I was getting into. JJ’s still a little shell shocked._

_Anything?_ he shot back.

_He expected her to stop working once he put that all-important diamond on her finger._

_Katrina didn’t want to leave,_ he sent back. _Her parents didn’t like him._

He could almost see the dark look on her face when he read her response.

_I don’t like him. I don’t care about being polite, if he or his father undressed me with their eyes one more time, I was going to punch them both. Think my mother would pick up the diplomatic pieces?_

Aaron chuckled. For a stoic agent, Emily had a revenge streak when pushed. _What did you expect? You’re a beautiful woman. It’s a natural male reaction._ He held his breath while he waited for her response.

_Flattery will get you everywhere, thank you._

Her next message came through before he could get out a reply. _It made me feel better when Eric and Victoria went purple at the site’s pictures of Katrina._

 _Son’s reaction?_ It was the fiancées reaction he wanted.

_Interest. What did you expect?_

Aaron thought about that for a moment. _Could he have encouraged it?_

_Nope. Daddy’s threatened him one too many times with the loss of his cushioned lifestyle for that._

Part of him disagreed. _Garcia had a hard time finding that site._

 _I’ve heard their fights. Plus, if you were a playboy like Logan you’d_ want _a woman who could do the things Katrina seemed to be able to._

Long story short, she didn’t think the Kites were involved in Katrina’s disappearance or murder. The logical part of him agreed, but he didn’t like thinking about other men leering at Emily. _We’ll touch base with the precinct. Then you should head to bed._

He wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get a reply, nor was he surprised to find her talking to one of the officers at the front about nothing in particular. She cocked her head to the side when she noticed them. “Got a minute?”

Morgan went ahead into the conference room, eying the both of them. Aaron cocked an eyebrow. This was dangerous territory for them to be stepping into on a case, but he followed her back outside into the Sacramento heat.

Emily sighed and put her hands on her hips. “I am fine,” she said. “I can do this.”

“I know you can.”

“Do you?” she asked straight out, her eyes drilling into his. “I’m awake enough and energized enough to do this.”

He felt relief in his mind. He’d been afraid she was going to rip into him about their relationship on the job. This he could handle. “Are you?”

“Yes,” she said promptly. “Going out to do one interview isn’t going to exhaust me. Chasing after a suspect might, but I’m pretty much healed, Aaron. I haven’t had to take a pill in almost a week.”

Aaron put his hands on his hips, digging his fingers into the cloth and flesh to keep himself from reaching out to her. The way her biceps flexed as her arms crossed over her stomach said the same thing. “You can’t overdo yourself.”

Emily sighed, looking down at her toes. “I know.”

Silence stretched for a moment. “Let’s do a final debrief, check in with Garcia. Then I’m sending _everyone_ back to the hotel. What they do with that time is their decision,” he said.

She looked up, a smile tilting the corners of her mouth. “Want to go over some files?”


	25. Chapter 25

Aaron met Emily down in the restaurant. It was a no-brainer, really. They were still on a case, so going over this in the privacy of his rooms was career suicide for both of them, but the restaurant was a public place. It was loud enough that they would be able to tease each other and the table they picked was tucked away in a corner. They sat close together, the occasional brush the only contact they’d allow themselves in public with the team just upstairs.

“I still don’t think Madeline Ray’s disappearance is connected with the kidnapping,” Emily said softly, reaching across his body for the report of the girl’s disappearance. She felt like it was a useless thing to say. It was just a façade for them to spend time together.

It was difficult to sit there and behave. They’d been apart all day, contact in text messaging, but what really got Aaron was the knowledge that two other men had been visually undressing her. He wished he’d been there, wished he could have glared them into behaving themselves, regardless of the consequences. He wanted a reminder that she was still with him.

But they were on a case, on the clock, still working and he didn’t want to risk anything in public. He’d been a little disappointed when she’d suggested they work in the restaurant, but understood the thoughts behind it. It was too dangerous for them to be alone in someone’s hotel room and if there was one thing Aaron Hotchner didn’t do, it was break the rules. Even if what he really wanted was to shove her against the wall and have his way with her. He was a man, he had needs too.

“Hey,” she said softly, waving her hand in front of his face. “You still with me?”

“Madeline Ray,” he said promptly, trying to ignore her foot against his. She’d kicked off her shoes – she’d developed an aversion to them while on leave – and he could feel the heat of her foot against his ankle. It was distracting. “Why is this bothering you so much?”

“We’re assuming she’s connected because she’s the same age and she’s on that site, but what if she just used the kidnappings as a way to get away from her parents?”

“She would have taken things with her. Her wallet, her cell phone, clothes…” His hand snuck up her back, trailing lightly up and down the lower three inches of her spine. Aaron grinned in satisfaction when she shivered.

It was a new thrill to be able to touch her like that. He’d taken advantage of it while they were in her apartment over the weekend she moved back in. He’d brushed against her, held her, stroked an arm, or her back when he had the chance. She hadn’t gone without her liberties either and glorified in the lack of guilt she felt snuggling against him or throwing her legs across his lap.

It had been so long since he’d kissed her and the semi-privacy in addition to his contact were making her body a little warm. The last time they’d been alone together was the Wednesday night of their first date, though they’d been on the phone over that weekend. Then they’d been thrust into the case without any real chance to find solid footing. Her control was tenuous at best. She wanted to curl up against him, wanted the reality he offered her so freely. She wanted him.

They worked for a little while longer, compiling notes, going over statements, looking at pictures, gradually increasing the frequency of their touches, becoming more daring. Her toes were climbing up his shin now, his hand forgoing fabric entirely to trace along the skin of her back. Their heads were close enough together that a simple twist on either of their parts would mean the kiss they both wanted.

“I think I’m going to head to bed,” she said softly, her hands moving to re-organize the files. His eyes were dark when she looked at him and she knew there was no way she’d be able to resist him. It didn’t matter that they were on a case, didn’t matter that JJ would interrogate her the next morning. Nothing mattered but the dark look in his eye and the heat spreading through her.

“I’ll walk you up.” It was a flimsy thing to say and he knew it, could hear the dark seductiveness of his own voice. His logical brain tried to argue, tried to fight back against the part of his brain that was telling him to just kiss her already, but it felt like only a whisper in the back of his mind. The only thing he could see was Emily. The only thing he could feel was the arousal she inspired in him.

It was different with Emily. Haley was the type that enjoyed the slow burn, taking time, holding back. Emily was molten, pushing, wanting more, even though she’d held back. He had too, in her defense, but he’d always wanted more. Sex with Haley was always satisfying, but from his little experience in a physical relationship with Emily, he had a feeling it was going to be explosive.

They stood apart in the elevator, the risk still too high for them to do anything. His door came first and she knew she was going inside without him even having to ask. The door was barely closed behind her before he was on her, not that she minded all that much. She responded immediately, pulling herself as close as possible, opening her mouth under his to allow his tongue entrance.

Aaron pushed her back against the door, the closest flat, semi-stable surface. He knew this was wrong, knew they really shouldn’t be making out like teenagers while working on the case, but the sound she made as he trailed a thumb under her breast and the sound of her head hitting the door as he attacked her neck made it virtually impossible to do anything except surrender to the lust racing through him.

She needed the release after seeing the bodies of their two murder victims. She needed to feel alive, feel something other than fear and depression. Emily could feel his fingers, could feel the fabric of her blouse loosening around her shoulders and couldn’t even summon the will power to get him to slow down, let alone stop. She wanted to fall into him completely, to give up all control and let go, but she knew better. Still, his day old stubble against her collarbone felt heavenly. Maybe there was a way to do this without risk. She knew she hadn’t brought protection and she was pretty positive Aaron didn’t carry any around in his ready bag like she assumed Derek did.

He was going crazy and he didn’t understand it. He’d managed to hold everything back while living with her and yet, the minute he thought she was gone, he did the one thing he never expected to do. And here he was, pushing her shirt off of her shoulders, following it down her arms until it silently fluttered to the floor. Her chest was heaving as he pulled back to let her questing fingers undo his tie. He’d left his suit jacket in his room when they returned but he’d left the tie on in hopes of having something to remind him of why they were there. It didn’t matter now, not with Emily’s fingers making quick work of the knot.

She could feel Aaron’s eyes on her as her fingers fumbled with the first four buttons of his shirt. She slowed down then, her breath still coming harshly, taking the time to get some of her sanity back. “We can’t do this,” she said, even as her fingers continued to pick apart his buttons.

“I know,” he answered, even as he swooped in for another kiss. Her response left him no doubts that this was what she wanted. Still, he understood her protest wasn’t exactly a token one.

Emily pulled away to kiss his jaw and nibble at his ear. “I don’t have anything with me.”

He’d been right. Not a token protest but a somewhat serious one nonetheless. Still, with her pale skin bared to his gaze, he knew there were other ways to get around that particular issue. She didn’t protest when he went for her belt buckle. “Neither do I.”

Her fingers trailed tantalizingly along Aaron’s pant line. “Then we really can’t do this.”

“I know,” he repeated. He tried to convey that in his next kiss, slowing them down substantially. He wanted her, desperately, but she made a good point.

Emily broke the kiss, leaning back against the door and putting some space between their bodies. She almost jumped him again when she got a look at him, mussed hair, shirt hanging unbuttoned from his shoulders… It pushed at her resistance. “Do you have a shirt I could wear?”

He let himself trail his fingers down her sides one more time as he pulled away completely. Unbuttoning his shirt cuffs, he made his way across the room to where his bag sat on a chair. He dug through it, coming up with only the t-shirt he usually wore to bed. But there was no way he would be able to keep his hands to himself if she was sleeping beside him in just her bra and panties. If she was staying at all. He held the material out for her. “You should probably head back to your room.”

She nodded as she took the shirt. “I should.”

He felt a thrill when she didn’t move to leave. He arched an eyebrow, question in his eyes.

She shrugged. “Would you rather me pound on your door at three in the morning?”

“Emily-“

“I know,” she said, plopping down on the end of the bed, playing with the shirt he’d given her. “Logically, I know, but I don’t know what else to do. It _sucks_ and I hate it, but I’d rather deal with the team come morning than deal with the nightmares tonight.”

It was a lot for her to admit and he wasn’t sure he accepted it as the full reasoning behind it, nor was he sure he felt comfortable with the idea, but she looked so incredibly sad, fear showing in the curve of her back, that he wasn’t sure he could, in good conscience, send her back to her room to face her demons. “I don’t have an extra toothbrush.”

She felt her body relax. “S’okay,” she said. “I’ll be out of here before I need one.”

 

JJ knew two things. One, she needed to thank whoever had invented easy-wash cotton clothing. Two, Emily Prentiss had not returned to their room last night. Her bed was still made, her things still exactly where they’d been left the morning before, and even her case notes were gone. JJ knew she’d gone down to the restaurant to work last night, but it would surprise her if Emily had picked up a guy while on her first case back.  The blond didn’t look up from the morning edition when the door clicked open.

“Morning.”

JJ looked up, catching Emily’s eyes, looking over her once. “Wasn’t that what you wore yesterday?” She saw Emily straighten. This was going to be better than JJ had expected.

“Yes,” the brunette answered.

“Why are you wearing your clothes from yesterday? And what’s that t-shirt in your hands?”

“It’s Hotch’s t-shirt,” Emily said honestly. She knew it was only a matter of time before Garcia’s news got back to Emily and it had been early that morning, as she was putting her slacks and blouse back on, that she decided JJ and Garcia knowing, probably wouldn’t be so bad after all. “I’m trading.”

JJ was stunned. “What?” She watched in a little bit of shock as Emily reached into her bag, pulling out a well-worn t-shirt. “Whay-ait a second. What is going on? Where were you? What are you _so_ not telling me.” It surprised her how intensely calm Emily was about the questions when she’d been so protective the previous day. “You stayed with Hotch last night, didn’t you?”

Emily nodded.

“Okay, first, wow. And I mean… wow,” JJ said, still trying to really process the news. “Second, what on earth are you _thinking_!? Morrow is just down the hall.”

“I think Agent Morrow understands what she’s getting herself into,” Emily said honestly.

“And you? Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into?” JJ was all for a relationship between Emily and Hotch. They had a way about each other, even before she’d been attacked, that spoke of a deeper connection. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he worked her mother’s security detail, maybe it was just an automatic connection, but there had always been just that little bit more between them.

Nevertheless, there was more than just Emily and Hotch to think about. JJ didn’t for a second think any of the team would be resentful. She didn’t think Hotch would show favouritism, didn’t think, come the passage of time, either of them would have a problem working together. In fact, they really hadn’t had a problem up to this point. She’d been a little surprised that there had only been the one slipup. And the text messages, but JJ had a feeling that any flirting was done in between the exchange of case information. Both agents were too good at their jobs to let themselves fall apart while completely immersed in their work.

There were reputations to consider, hers, his, the team’s… Everyone had a stake in this and though no one had as much on the line as Emily and Hotch did, there was still enough to worry JJ.

“I hope so,” Emily said honestly.

“Hope?”

“I’m not sure,” she said. “I know I want it. I knew that any relationship beyond friendship outside of the office was risking a lot, but…”

“No risk, no reward?” JJ offered.

“Something like that,” Emily agreed. “He knows what we see. He knows how the job works. It’s refreshing to not have to explain everything and it’s nice to have someone who just _knows_.”

JJ understood better than Emily thought. There were times, when they were at their weakest, that she and Reid reconnected, simply out of that bond of Tobias Henkel. It was nice to spend time together, to talk to someone who understood the grief and gore they saw. But JJ was a little worried about that being the foundation of the relationship.

“It’s more than that too,” Emily said, unwittingly answering JJ’s worried thoughts. “He saw my recovery, heck, Jayje, he’s seen me at my weakest. He’s seen me at my most pathetic and it doesn’t seem to even phase him.”

“So this is a real thing?” JJ asked, a smile tilting the corners of her mouth.

“I think so,” Emily admitted. “And we know we really can’t do things like share a room. This should help.” She held up the t-shirt.

JJ shot the brunette a knowing quirk of her lips. “So I can’t sneak Spence in here anymore?”

Emily let out a bark of laughter. JJ went back to scanning the front page as Emily went about her early morning routine. Twenty minutes later, Emily prepared for the day and, JJ assumed, heading down for breakfast, the blond stopped her friend in the door.

“Hey Em?”

Emily turned.

“I’m glad you got your guy.”

Emily grinned.


	26. Chapter 26

Aaron looked up at the knock on his door, unsurprised when it was simply pushed open. What did surprise him was that it wasn’t Emily poking her head in, but Morgan.

“Morning, Hotch.”

He nodded his reply.

“I’ve got Garcia on the phone. We’re going to want to hear this.”

\--

Half an hour later, each with a cup of Sacramento PD’s finest sludge disguised as coffee, the team and Kian sat around the conference table in the room they’d claimed as their own. Morgan dialed Garcia.

“Alright, Baby Girl, you’re up.”

“Okay, ladies and gents, here’s the deal. In our time difference bliss, not to mention my own insomniac tendencies, I took a look through that site. And let me tell you, the Kama Sutra has nothing on this.”

Morgan’s lips quirked upwards. “Save the dirty talk for later, Sweetness.”

The pout was clear in Garcia’s voice. “You take the fun out of everything. So, skipping through all of the technical jargon, blah, blah, blah, html, video file uplink, yada, yada, yada, I come across links on the profiles of our girls.”

Aaron’s eyebrow went up. “And?”

“Well, sir, each girl has a blog. So I made a call to the guy who runs the site.”

“Wait, you knew who ran the site?” Kian asked.

“In a manner of speaking,” Garcia said cryptically.

“You don’t want to know,” Emily murmured. “And what did our friendly administrator have to say?”

“The blogs are there so the people on the site can see they’re real girls. Now, I’m not a profiler, but I believe Crime 101 says those things can be dangerous.”

“The Dawson College shooter had a blog that told of his entire psychological state,” Reid said before Kian could ask questions. “He called himself an ‘Angel of Death’ and posted pictures of himself holding guns and knives. But, most of the people who have accounts on these journal sites are harmless.”

“Garcia, what are these blogs telling us?” Aaron asked, trying to keep them on track.

“In the way of our guy, you’re still looking at give or take fifty pervs. About the girls, we’re getting a different picture.”

“Oh?”

“Chloe, Katrina, Stephanie, Jade and Tiffany all have happy lives, according to their blogs. Madeline Ray, on the other hand, paints a picture of classic oppression. But,” she said, emphasizing the last word. “The one thing that is the same across the board, all of the girls said they wanted out. Plus, plus, also, and… there was one user on every blog that offered them a way out.”

“Come on, Mama, cut to the chase,” Morgan said, bouncing on his toes.

“Half of the information is in the build up,” Garcia scolded. “He leaves an e-mail for them, so I went back to the inboxes of our girls to see what I could find. Turns out all of our girls responded to the offer. They wanted out and they wanted out quick.”

“So he offers them a way out by kidnapping them?” Morrow asked, wrinkling her brow.

“His exact words were he would, and I quote ‘make them disappear’,” Garcia responded. “I’m still tracking down the guy’s e-mail. He’s threaded it through hundreds of thousands of routers, so my baby is still getting through it.”

“So these girls see their chance and take it? There’s got to be another way out,” JJ said.

“They’re bound by contracts,” Garcia contradicted. “Five years at a time, loopholes are minimal, but even these girls are looking at this money going ‘hey, I could get through college with that’. Until they actually get into it.”

“And then?” Reid asked, his eyes telling the team that his brain was already filing this away into his seemingly endless memory bank.

“Most of the money they are supposed to make goes back to the company that pays them. We’re looking at a good eighty percent going back to the people that run the site, not to mention the recruiters and the sleezeball that runs the site,” Garcia responded. “Four of the girls had to fall back on loans even with the job to get themselves through.”

“And these blogs say they want out? Isn’t there something in the contract that forbids that?”

“Nope. Here’s the kicker. The guy that posted the video of Katrina Stark’s murder? Same guy who’s offering these girls a way out.”

That was what they wanted to hear.

“You are fantastic, Girl. Let us know when you track the guy down.”

“You got it.”

 

It wasn’t often that the BAU got time to breathe on cases, but when they did, they all took hold of it with both hands. They had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before Garcia came through for them, so they took the time to hunt down breakfast and re-focus themselves, things they hadn’t had a chance to do since Garcia had placed her call to Morgan so early in the morning. Even Kian joined them for their breakfast that morning, introducing them to a little café she often frequented for quick breakfasts or other snacks while on the job. It wasn’t until they were all seated that the conversation grew again.

“Is all that information really going to help us?” Kian asked.

“It’s actually completely altered our original profile,” Reid said. “We originally thought our unsub was charming, finding these girls and luring them so he could kidnap them.”

“This goes against that completely,” Morgan picked up. “This tells us he’s a loner, someone who isn’t confident with women.”

“He’s probably been rejected a number of times, probably lives with his father himself,” Emily added. “His lack of confidence may even spread to his job.”

“Just his father?”

“He’s angry,” Aaron agreed as the waitress came over to take their orders. “It wouldn’t be surprising to find that his mother left his father. He thinks of women as sexual playthings, and at the same time, he hates that he sees them like that. Or more specifically, hates that they make him see them like that.”

Kian raised an eyebrow, briefly giving her order before speaking. “He blames them.”

“Exactly,” JJ agreed, stirring a spoonful of sugar into her coffee. “He blames them for everything wrong in his life.”

“So he relies on the internet,” Kian said.

“His way to get dates, his way to communicate with people, everything,” Morrow nodded. “We’ll probably find him a member of a number of chat rooms and other porn sites.”

Kian was shaking her head. “You know a lot about this guy.”

“We don’t know his age. Internet crime is difficult to profile an age group,” Emily said.

“But we know he’s white,” Reid said. “Interracial crimes are rare.”

“That’s amazing.”

Morgan had been rather quiet through the entire exchange, his eyes on his coffee, dragging a finger along the lip of the mug. He cocked his head to the side, looking at the team. “What if he blames his mother for something that happened to his father?”

“Like?” Aaron asked.

“Tim Woodson was in a car accident when his son was thirteen. His mother was driving, his father’s been using a cane since.”

Emily’s eyebrow arched. “And his mother?”

“Dead on scene.”

“So Cody Woodson was lying,” Morrow said.

Morgan shrugged. “It’s possible.”

“If Cody Woodson is the guy on that site, it could be the way his phone number is connected,” Emily pointed out. “Coincidences just don’t exist.”

“How did we miss it?” Derek asked no one in particular.

“We didn’t have the site at the time,” JJ pointed out. “And we didn’t have the blogs.”

“God bless the internet,” Emily agreed.

Talk turned away from the case as they waited for their food. When their meals arrived, Morrow and Kian watched in absolute awe as the team went about trading food like it was candy. Morgan had gotten the biggest breakfast, and willingly handed his breakfast ham off to Emily. Emily picked through her fruit salad and Aaron’s, switching oranges for pineapples in both bowls. She hated pineapples, he disliked oranges. Reid traded one of his eggs over easy for half of JJ’s scrambled eggs while Emily handed one of Morgan’s two pieces of ham to the blond. It spoke of the team’s comfort level and knowledge of each other.

“I thought intra-team profiling was against the rules,” Morrow said, her voice belaying her shock.

The four looked up, exchanged looks with each other, then realized what Morrow was referring to.

“We practically live together while working cases,” Morgan offered with a shrug. “It’s not exactly profiling.”

“Isn’t profiling simply noticing behaviour?” Morrow pointed out.

“This isn’t noticing behaviour. It’s getting to know your colleagues,” Morgan responded promptly. He saw Morrow as an insert into the team, someone who wasn’t part of their family.

Emily reached across the table for a fork full of Morgan’s potatoes, distracting him enough to be able to send him an arched eyebrow. _Leave her alone_.

“That’s impressive,” Kian said. “You guys never talked about what you eat and what you don’t?”

“When you spend as much time together as we do it’s kind of a given,” Reid answered.

“It’s got to be hard though, travelling all the time?”

Every profiler shrugged. It came with the job and they all knew that when they signed on.

“And families? Relationships?”

Responses to questions like that always varied with the team. Usually they were good enough at their jobs that people were baffled by the idea of behavioural science. It wasn’t often that family life came up, nor was it normal for questions of relationships to come up in these cases. When they weren’t working together, they were out together. They had few friends outside of each other. It was just easier, with all the time they spent together, with the things they saw, not to involve someone else with their demons.

“We make due,” Morgan finally answered. His phone rang before anything else could happen. He grinned. “Go ahead Gorgeous.”

“I found your Pandora’s Box, Hot Stuff.”

“We’re listening.”

“So, I’m backtracking through internet routers, IP addresses, you know, the usual, when my babies start screaming. Madeline Ray posted on her blog not five minutes ago. I did some quick backtracking. Turns out, the IP address is registered to-“

“Tim Woodson?” Emily guessed.

“You’re no fun,” Garcia responded, pout in her voice. “But you’re right.”

Kian was already pulling out her cell phone. “I’ll get a search warrant.”

“That’s not all,” Garcia’s voice came through the phone. “You’ll never guess what I found out.”

“Come on Girl,” Morgan prompted. He could already see the adrenaline snaking through the team, making them all sit just a little bit straighter.

“It’s a doozy,” the blond technical analyst said, a grin in her voice.

“Garcia!”

“Cody Woodson is Madeline Ray’s boyfriend.”


	27. Chapter 27

Emily strapped herself into the bulletproof vest as Aaron drove to the Woodson house. They were both tense. There were definitely three girls at stake and though they had an idea of what they were getting themselves into, there was still that level of uncertainty that made them all uncomfortable. JJ had almost insisted that she and Aaron drive to the house in the same car. And without passengers.

But they hadn’t said anything since leaving the station. There were a million things running through her head that she wanted to say, a million things that they probably should, but she couldn’t bring herself to say any of them. She wanted to make sure they were okay going into this, not okay as in stable in their relationship, but okay in that they both had a job to do. Sure, there was a little more emotionally at stake for them, but it was still their job.

She felt like that was only the tip of the iceberg. She wasn’t fooling herself. She didn’t love him. Yet. That was the part that got her. She could see them building something solid and something good, but only if they could get past the hurdles. They were about to step into a really good one. There were going to be guns, there were going to be weapons, and there was going to be a guy who wasn’t exactly head over heels for the female gender. Her stomach curled.

“You okay?”

She must have made a funny expression for him to ask that. “Thinking,” she said honestly. “We’re going in there guns drawn, I’m strapping myself into a bullet proof vest. Are we okay?”

He looked over at her briefly as they stopped at a red light. “Of course we’re okay.”

“Aaron, that’s not what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” he replied, and by the way his hands clenched the steering wheel it showed. He was worried, and logically so. He always worried when he was about to send his team into a potentially dangerous situation and worried more when he sent them into an actually dangerous situation. With Emily, it was a completely different story with completely different rules and now that they had taken their relationship beyond work and quite solidly beyond friendship, there was a new level of concern that made his heart rate double.

“This is our job,” she said uselessly, reattaching part of her vest. “We’ve been doing this for years.”

Even to Aaron it sounded more like she was trying to reassure herself more than him. They did this kind of stuff as part of their jobs all the time, but he was human and he knew that this was different. “We’re good at our jobs.”

“Exactly.” Nevertheless, she took a deep breath, trying to put herself in the right mind set to do this.

All three vehicles, the two Tahoes and the police car, pulled up to the Woodson house ahead of backup. They had enough agents to go in and it wasn’t going to help them to wait for anyone else. Cody Woodson was a loose cannon at best and they didn’t want to risk spooking him into just killing all of the women he still had. They made a circle, pulling out their weapons and checking bullets, guns and safeties.

“I don’t think I have to remind you that we have three lives at stake?” Aaron said. The grim looks of his team said it all. The last eyes he met were Emily’s and he could tell what she’d be saying by the look on her face. _Don’t get hurt._ “Morgan, take Prentiss, JJ and Reid, go in the front. Morrow, Officer Kian, you’re with me in the back. Let’s get this guy alive.”

Emily had to admit, she was a little surprised to hear that he wasn’t pairing them together, but another part of her was relieved. Without Aaron looking over her shoulder she could deal with her insecurities in peace. She’d passed her qualifications with flying colours, but that didn’t mean that she could immediately apply them in the field. There was a slight disconnect between the predictability of the evaluations and the unpredictability of reality. At the same time, she had the comfort of her team at her back. She trusted Morgan, JJ and Reid with her life so if she froze up, she was certain someone would be there.

She heard the countdown over her earpiece and the next thing she knew, she was bursting through the front door behind Morgan, thankful that Tim Woodson was at work – they’d sent a unit to pick him up – so they didn’t scare the living daylights out of the man. What was unfortunate was that they found nothing in the house. She sighed as she stepped outside, re-holstering her weapon and putting her hands on her hips. It annoyed her that they hadn’t found Cody in the house and annoyed her even more that they hadn’t found a trace of any of their victims.

“He’s keeping them somewhere else,” Morgan said unnecessarily, stepping out to stand beside her.

“The question is where,” Emily agreed, her eyes scanning the neighbourhood carefully. “Somewhere comfortable, somewhere isolated where no one could hear them scream.”

“But somewhere with access to the internet, or nearby access,” Morgan nodded.

“Like this?” The picture frame JJ passed to them showed the family in front of an older-looking home. “Grandparents house. They left it to the family when they passed away.”

Emily raised an eyebrow. “If he soundproofed the basement he could live there no problem, keep the girls downstairs.”

Morgan was already dialing Garcia. “I need those magic fingers of yours now more than ever, Sweetness.”

“Lay it on me.”

“Cody Woodson’s grandparents have a house they left to him.”

“On his father’s side. Mother’s side are still living.”

“Which means you’ve got an address.”

“Most definitely. Sent directions to your phone.”

“You’re a goddess.”

“Wait!” Emily exclaimed as they all started to move. She’d spotted someone coming down the street with a face she vaguely recognized. As the girl got closer, it was JJ that finally put a name to the face.

“That’s Madeline Ray.”

 

Madeline Ray was a striking young woman. She was the only redhead of the bunch with brown eyes and freckles across her nose. She was thin and stylish, but sitting in an interrogation room at the station, she looked like a little girl, fearful of what was to come.

Emily stood with Reid behind the one-way mirror, both of them watching her. The rest of the team had headed to Cody Woodson’s grandparents’ to see if he was there and if that was where he was hiding the other women. Emily’s gut said yes. What she didn’t know was Madeline’s involvement in it all.

“Are you going in?” Reid asked, eyeing her warily.

“She’s, what? 120? I’ll be fine.”

Reid cracked a tiny smile. “It’s odd, isn’t it? That she would let her parents think she was kidnapped by a murderer just to get out from under their thumb?”

“We’re assuming that’s all there is to it,” Emily answered softly. “Cody offered those other girls a way out, maybe Madeline just wanted the same escape.”

“To the point where she allowed him to stab women? Katrina Stark had twenty-four stab wounds when the medical examiner finished counting.”

Emily smiled up at Reid. “I guess we’ll just have to ask and find out.”

Her paperwork was in hand as she entered the room, pictures of all of the girls and the crime scenes tucked safely in a file. She didn’t see Madeline Ray as a threat and it wasn’t her they were accusing of murdering two young women and holding three others hostage. “SSA Prentiss and this is Dr Reid,” Emily introduced as she sat down.

“SSA?” Madeline asked.

“We’re with the FBI,” Emily answered softly, soothingly. “We have a few questions.”

“Look, I ran away, okay? I just, I couldn’t stand my parents,” Madeline confessed immediately. “There was this guy who was kidnapping girls like me so I went for it. Annie and Katy said they’d found a way out.”

“Who?”

Madeline shrugged. “A couple of girls on the site, girls I worked with.”

Emily pulled out the five pictures of the other women. “Any of these?”

“That’s Annie,” Madeline said, pointing to Stephanie Lite. Katrina Stark was Katy. “Those were the names they used on the site.”

“So you’ve met these girls?”

Madeline nodded.

Reid cocked his head to the side. “There’s something you’re not telling us.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Madeline said defensively.

Emily took back the live pictures of Katrina and Stephanie and replaced them with the ones taken on the autopsy tables for identification purposes. “Two of those girls are dead, Madeline,” she said softly. “We think Cody knows about it.”

“Cody?”

“We know he’s your boyfriend, Madeline. We’ve seen the pictures on MySpace,” Reid told her quietly.

“What happened, Madeline? Did you see him kidnap one of those girls? Did he threaten you at all? Was he ever violent towards you or another woman you knew?”

Madeline’s hands were shaking as she flattened them on the table. “It was once and it was my fault.”

If they had a penny for every time an abuse victim said ‘it was my fault’ Emily was sure the law enforcement profession wouldn’t have funding problems. “Madeline, three girls are still missing. Two fo them are dead. You posted on your blog about something being wrong with Cody.”

Madeline looked like she was considering something before taking a deep breath. “We’ve been staying at his mom’s parents’ old place, but he hates it there. He says it reminds him too much of his cheating whore of a mother, his words not mine.”

Reid and Emily exchanged a look. It was a significant part of their profile.

“He spends a lot of time in the basement, but he works with computers so I just assumed that it was cooler down there so he could work better, you know?” Her shoulders lifted and dropped with an exaggerated breath. “I was on his laptop upstairs, doing some work when I came across the video.”

“What video?” Emily asked.

“The one that I posted on our site, through his screen name. The one of him…” she swallowed. “Killing Katy.”

“Why didn’t you report it?” Reid asked.

“Because he’s my boyfriend. You don’t understand Dr Reid, Cody is everything I have. He’s my only escape from my parents, who, if they had their way, would literally lock me in my room. And I had no idea it was him in the movie, I just figured it was something he’d found somewhere.”

“Did you figure out the connection between the girls? Did you know they all worked for the same company you do?” Emily asked.

Madeline was nodding before the first question was finished. “We’ve all cross paths from time to time. I’ve worked with almost all of the girls who went missing.”

“But you didn’t say anything.”

“I saw it as an opportunity,” she said honestly. “I love my parents, but I’m sick of being under their thumb all the time. I just wanted a little bit of freedom. Cody offered, I took it.”

“Madeline is he there now? Do you know if any of the other girls are alive?” Emily tried to keep enough urgency in her voice to impress upon the young woman how important her answer was without sounding panicked.

“He’s there now, yeah. I was stopping by his dad’s house to pick up a few things for him from his room.”

Emily looked down as her phone rang. “Prentiss.”

“We’ve got him.”

Emily relaxed marginally, both at Aaron’s voice and his news. “The girl?” His sigh said she wasn’t going to like the news.

“Two. Chloe Floam didn’t make it.”


	28. Chapter 28

The atmosphere on the plane ride back to Virginia was subdued. Losing victims wasn’t necessarily new to the BAU but when they were as close as they had been it was always difficult. Chloe Floam had only been dead between 2 and 4 hours. Emily looked around the plane with a grim sense of satisfaction. She was glad they’d closed the case. She was upset that they hadn’t been able to save Chloe.

The logical part knew they couldn’t save them all. She knew that there was more to life, that she couldn’t dwell on those they’d lost. Gideon had kept a book of pictures of the victims he’d saved to remind himself of the good they did. Most of them took what they could when they could. Emily closed her eyes and leaned her head back, remembering Carrie, remembering that Penelope was safe and sound back in her bunker in Quantico. Little Jack lived a safe and happy life, the kids down the hall from her would probably be racing for the bus at an ungodly hour the next morning – they were more reliable than her alarm clock some days.

Aaron was already working on his paperwork beside her, Morgan asleep against the plane on the other side of the four-person table. Morrow sat on the couch following Aaron’s lead while Reid read across from JJ. The blond had a pile of files beside her, probably trying to determine how many of the files were cases and how many were simple consults. With a sigh, she reached across Aaron for the crime scene photos of the Woodson basement.

“Should you be looking at those?” Aaron asked, just over the sound of the plane’s white noise.

Emily shrugged as her eyes dragged over the photos. Cody Woodson had called them all whores, said that wanting to be rescued was just part of that damsel in distress. They were dirty, they all had boyfriends and yet, had profiles on a pornography site. It hadn’t been difficult to see the underlying problems in that scenario. And, true enough, Cody Woodson’s mother had been cheating on his father in the bed next to Cody’s room as a child. Then, when the car accident had happened and Tim Woodson was almost permanently paralyzed, it was the trigger to his rage.

“You know,” she said after a while, the same tone he had. “I blame my mother for a lot of my dysfunctional traits, but I wouldn’t kill her because of it.”

“You don’t resent your mother,” Aaron replied.

She cocked an eyebrow at him. “I don’t resent my mother? Are you kidding me?”

“You wouldn’t be at the BAU if you resented her,” he pointed out calmly, continuing to jot his thoughts down. “You’d be doing something stereotypically female.”

“Trying for my mother’s approval and resenting her don’t go hand-in-hand,” she argued. “Maybe I like the challenge of the BAU.”

“You do,” he agreed, “Or you would have quit in the first week. You’re strong, resilient. You work in a government job that deals with the worst things a human being can do to another human being and you’re good at your job.”

“I’m good at compartmentalizing,” she responded, leaning her head back against the seat again. “That’s why I’m good at my job.”

“Either way, it has nothing to do with a resentment of your mother. You worked that Russian Mob case even with her watching over your shoulder and proved your merit. You know as well as we do that most of the things you learned as a child that have come in handy in your job are because your mother was an ambassador.”

She sighed. He was right. “Okay, I don’t resent my mother. I respect her.” She paused. “But I still hate politics.”

He chuckled. “Politics is my job,” he pointed out, darting a glance at Morrow.

“Don’t write her off just yet,” Emily suggested. “She knows she has a choice to make, but she’s seen how we interact. I think she’ll surprise you.”

“Did we call the intra-team profiling rule off?” Aaron asked, cracking a smile.

Emily shrugged unrepentantly. “We all do it, you know it.”

Aaron thought back to the day Strauss had suspended him. He knew his team and he knew them well. The team exchanged a high level of trust between them, not only because of the danger that was part of what they did but because of the knowledge that there were other people in the world who saw the same things they did. They helped each other through the tough ones without being obvious about it and even if no one said thank you, it was implied when they all made it through a case alive. They were good together, they made an excellent team. Hell, Aaron knew a good third of the BAU’s reputation was built on their team alone. He had some of the best minds in the FBI under his command and he valued each and every one of them.

They were a family, if a slightly dysfunctional one. They had their ups and their downs, their strengths and their weaknesses, their stereotypes and their reality and it worked for them. Reid was had a deadly mind, easily spouting off any bit of knowledge in the span of seconds, but he was socially awkward and was very stuck in a social situation. Morgan knew his stuff, knew exactly how to get into the most obsessive minds they’d come across. He was their muscle, their push, but if it wasn’t for Garcia, Aaron had a feeling the man would have burnt out long ago.

JJ had arguably the hardest job of all of them. She was young, beautiful, probably could have used her considerable skill with media and people to get herself a cushioned job at a PR firm, but she’d chosen the government instead. She was in charge of picking the cases the saw, of looking at the files, fielding calls from police departments and deciding whether or not the case was something that the BAU could do in consult, or if they had to head off in their jet. She had to go home hoping she made the right decision and saved a life or two. But she had the team, her family the people she saw every day. She had Penelope and Reid, Emily and Morgan. The tough decisions were always easier when there was someone at your back.

Emily was the rock. She’d come into the unit after the rocky road of Elle Greenaway and carved herself a niche as the pillar of strength. She was everyone’s sister, everyone’s friend in the unit and she had a huge heart for a woman that compartmentalized better than anything Ikea could ever come up with. Aaron always pictured her mind as an OCD organized file room. But in all of that, she was only human, and even that pillar of strength collapsed sometimes. But she had the team to lean on. JJ and Garcia would be there for an instant if something was wrong and even Morgan would drop a certain number of things for their raven-haired colleague. Just like she’d do for him.

In some ways, he was jealous of what the five of them, Garcia included, had formed. His separate office gave him the air of authority in the bullpen, the air he needed to get the job done every once in a while, but sometimes he wished he had a desk just like the rest of them. He adored his family, but it had been another thing that had held him apart from the rest of his single teammates. He knew he was becoming a bigger part of that. The team rallied behind him when his divorce papers showed up at the BAU and they hadn’t asked questions when he proposed a drink after a case. He didn’t love Jack any less, and Emily was certainly helping him on his way to thoroughly understanding that he still loved Haley and probably would always love Haley, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a spot for him to fall in love again.

“Deep thoughts there, Boss,” Emily teased quietly. She’d tucked a leg underneath her, pulling out her own files. She’d let him follow his mind to wherever it wanted to take him without any questions. The way his mind worked, it was more likely for him to come to some sort of epic conclusion if she just left him be.

Aaron glanced at her but didn’t say anything. There was still Jane Morrow to consider and not just in how he behaved towards Emily. This case hadn’t been as enlightening as he’d hoped in terms of their newest teammate. He knew Emily shared a sort of connection with the blond agent and didn’t find it all that difficult to believe that Emily had tactfully explained to Morrow the way his team worked.

He wasn’t sure where she was going to fit in the overall scheme of the team. She was smart, but she was eager and he’d bet that it was that eagerness that had drawn Strauss’ eye and put her in the running for his unit. Still, he knew Morrow had at least seen their unwritten code of conduct at work. She knew her acceptance into the team hinged on whether or not she could keep their secrets. And the team had their fair share of them.

Between Morgan’s past, Reid’s drug addiction, his blossoming relationship with Emily and Garcia and Morgan’s interaction, not to mention Garcia’s encryption of their cases, their team was ripe with unmentionable things. Emily had proven herself the same way Morrow would have to. If she could keep the behaviour she observed to herself, keep herself from being a bug in Strauss’ ear, she had potential.

He looked over at Emily, not surprised that her head was cocked his way, even if her eyes were fixed on her files. It had been good to have her back with the team. The normalcy they’d all coveted had been back, if with a little bit of a Strauss-induced kink. And Aaron had missed her. He hadn’t realized how much until she was back in the swing of it all. He’d missed her teasing with Morgan, missed her friendship with JJ, missed her subtle advice to Reid. They were basic interactions that they had on a day-to-day basis that made their team a smooth running machine.

“It was good to have you back,” Aaron said finally.

Emily quirked her lips. “It was good to be back,” she said, understanding everything he didn’t want to say. She knew she was a stabilizing force and had quickly learned that she was _his_ stabilizing force. “Are you seeing Jack this weekend?”

“Haven’t talked to Haley,” he told her honestly, taking advantage of the way she spread her file across her lap to touch her leg, thumb sweeping over her knee.

“You should,” she said with a smile, turning her head to face him.

Aaron chanced a glance at Morrow who, to all the world, seemed completely engrossed in her files. “It depends.”

Emily arched her eyebrow at the huge risk he was taking. “On?” The look in his eyes told her what he wanted to say. It depended on what she was doing this weekend. She slipped her hand under the file, settling it on top of his. “See Jack, Aaron,” she encouraged. “JJ, Garcia and I are taking a girls day on Saturday to catch up. Take Jack to the park, watch him run and play on the playground like a normal father and son. Play catch, teach him to hit a baseball.”

He didn’t push the subject for now. He did want to see Jack, usually wanted to see his son after cases. But he wanted time with Emily too. Aaron knew he wasn’t alone in that need, but understood that her friends were important to her too. She wasn’t blowing him off, she was ensuring that the foundations she’d built were still there.

They worked quietly for the rest of the flight, discussing the cases and their reports. When the jet touched down everyone went their separate ways. It was early evening, but it wouldn’t do them any good to push going back to the office. They were exhausted. But they’d solved their case, put another disturbed individual behind bars. It was one of the best satisfactions.


	29. Chapter 29

Saturday was a bright and sunny day, much to Emily’s intense relief. She hated girls’ days that fell on rainy days. This way, they could do what they wanted and the weather couldn’t stop them. She rolled over and looked at the clock, registering she had about an hour before she had to meet JJ and Penelope for brunch. She was looking forward to it. This was time where work was essentially a taboo subject, though their coworkers were fair game. She was a little nervous to get JJ’s opinion on her and Aaron’s relationship outside of the work setting where there was nothing to focus on but the personal, but she trusted JJ. Penelope was going to flip her lid.

Wandering through her morning routine, a luxury she allowed herself since she had the time, she found herself humming cheerfully. She was actually content. She was back to the job she loved, to the people she adored and it felt very, very good. She sang along to the radio as she drove to meet her blond counterparts. It felt good to have her life back. Even if the nightmares haunted her, she had Aaron’s t-shirt and the knowledge that he was simply a phone call away.

She grinned when she saw JJ already seated, enjoying the comfortably cool September air. Emily waved as she put her car in park and climbed out. “Morning.”

JJ smiled in response and waved. “Good morning.”

Emily set her purse down on the ground beside the patio chair, her smile wide. Her injury had been a downer on many of her friendships. The team built their relationships off of the time the entire time spent together and being out for five months had meant she’d missed cases, missed consults and missed events in the office. She hadn’t had much time to catch up with all of her friends and was definitely planning to use the time with Penelope and JJ to catch up.

“How are you?”

“Rested,” JJ answered. “And I’m going to spend the next twenty-four hours without murder, kidnapping or rape.”

“Hear, hear,” Emily agreed as the server poured her a cup of coffee.

“How are you doing?”

“Good,” Emily replied honestly. “My nightmares were murky last night, a nice change from vivid hell.”

JJ laughed. She knew how it went and knew Emily was still having nightmares. Their last case hadn’t helped much either. JJ had a feeling stabbing victims were going to haunt Emily for a while. “How is Hotch?”

“Spending the day with Jack, I hope,” Emily responded, perusing the menu as they waited.

“You don’t know?”

The brunette raised an eyebrow. “I’m not his keeper.”

“But you are in a relationship?”

Emily sighed. “I don’t know what to call it, honestly.”

JJ waited.

“Are we beyond that stage of ‘friends’, yes. Have we gone on a date? Yes. Have we jumped the first hurdles of fraternization? I like to think so.”

“You’ve met Jack,” JJ pointed out, cupping her hands around her coffee mug. “That’s got to be something.”

“I lived with him for five months, I was bound to meet Jack sometime,” Emily responded. “It would have been terrible if I didn’t.”

“Labels are always a problem,” JJ agreed. “Are you girlfriend and boyfriend? Are you at that stage where you can go out together without the buffer of your friends? What do you call midnight phone calls after bad cases…”

Emily laughed. “This doesn’t sound like we’re talking about me anymore, JJ.”

The blond sighed. “Maybe not. Let’s just say you’re not the only one caught between a rock and hard place.”

“You’re not even on the same team,” Emily said, knowing JJ was now referring to her seemingly hot and cold friendship-slash-not-quite-relationship with Spencer Reid. “Fraternization is different.”

“But I’m the assigned coordinator for the team,” JJ responded. “It’s still fraternization.”

Emily held up her hands. “Hey, I can’t even pass an opinion.” She leaned forward, saying in a voice ripe with conspiracy, “For all intents and purposes, I’m banging my boss.”

JJ laughed, Emily’s intended response.

Penelope came then, dropping her overly colourful bag beside Emily’s and plopping herself in the remaining chair. “What did I miss?”

“Emily’s banging the boss.”

“JJ’s getting cozy with the genius.”

Penelope blinked. “So not much. Wait, I thought you and weren’t doing the nasty yet.”

“We aren’t,” Emily agreed.

“Jayje! You know better than to get my hopes up,” Penelope whined.

“She said it!” JJ defended.

All three jumped when someone’s phone sounded. They groaned as they dug frantically through purses and bags. JJ relaxed when she realized it wasn’t her phone. Penelope’s gaze shot to Emily when it wasn’t hers either. Emily was smiling.

_Tomorrow: You, me, Jack and the zoo._

“Tell me we’re good. Please, tell me that isn’t a summons.”

“It’s not,” Emily promised, unable to wipe the grin off of her face. _Sounds good. Are you spending today with him?_

JJ and Penelope exchanged a look. “It’s Hotch, isn’t it?” JJ asked.

Emily blushed. “So what if it is.”

“You’re like a twelve year old girl!” Penelope exclaimed. “I can’t believe this!”

“I am not a twelve-year-old girl,” Emily scoffed, promptly proving herself wrong when she immediately went for her phone at the next message.

_Just what the doctor ordered._

_I’m glad._

“You’re kidding, right?” JJ asked. “You’re like the girl who just got asked to the prom by the football quarterback.”

“See?” Emily said, turning to Penelope. “I’m not twelve.”

Penelope raised an eyebrow. “And being eighteen is much better?” Then she cocked her head to the side. “It would account for the whole jumping each other thing.”

“Which, I repeat, we haven’t,” Emily said.

“Yet,” JJ and Penelope said at the same time.

Emily sighed. Arguing with both of them was a lesson in futility that she’d learned many-a-time. “Is it that bad? That I’m happy?”

“Of course not,” Penelope responded, contenting herself with the menu.

“So long as you’re going into this with both eyes open,” JJ agreed.

“Meaning?”

“I don’t mean to be a party pooper,” JJ apologized. “I just think that you guys don’t realize what you’re getting into. What happens if you break up? What happens if you have a fight and it comes into the office? What happens if one of you gets distracted and we lose someone?”

“Whoa, Jayje, jumping the gun aren’t you?” Penelope asked, trying to refocus the conversation on the happy. “This is a good thing.”

Emily waved off Penelope’s defense. They were legitimate concerns from someone who worked in the field with both agents. “We know there’s no guarantees,” she said, meeting JJ’s eyes to try and reassure her at the same time. “But we wouldn’t go into this lightly. Aaron…Hotch, isn’t the type of person to just jump without knowing there’s a safety net in place. There’s a lot of thought that went into this JJ. And we were careful.”

JJ had to give them that. She had only known that there was something more between them because Emily hadn’t exactly tried to sneak back into their room in Sacramento. “So telling me…?”

“A sort of calculated risk,” Emily agreed. “I can’t talk in hypotheticals to you guys, that’s not fair. The fact that you know who it is should make things a whole lot easier. And if it makes you feel better, JJ, we talked about having to go in, guns drawn. It wasn’t that long but… I think I owe you a thank you.”

JJ smiled. She’d deliberately shuffled things so Emily and Aaron were alone in their SUV because she knew it was the first time they’d be heading into a situation with weapons and bulletproof vests. She’d been happy to see they managed it with grace and without really exposing to the world exactly what was going on between them. “And Morrow?”

Emily smirked. “I’m not sure we’re going to have a problem with her.”

“Oh please,” Penelope scoffed. “She’s like goody two shoes to the max.”

“I might suggest you give her a chance,” Emily said with a secret smile. “She may surprise you.”

“You know something,” JJ accused.

“No details,” Emily replied innocently. “But if she’s Strauss’ mole, I definitely gave her food for thought.”

“You told her a lie to see if she’s a good secret keeper?” Penelope asked. “Oh, oh, oh! You threatened her with diplomatic assassination if she didn’t cooperate.”

Emily laughed. “Nothing quite that dramatic. I gave her a choice, and ultimatum almost.”

“You gave Strauss’ bug an ultimatum?” JJ asked in confusion. “How in the hell did you manage that one?”

Emily took a deep breath. Aaron had figured out for himself that Strauss had put her on the team to find dirt on them. It was still difficult to admit, even to friends that were as genuine as JJ and Penelope. Part of her still felt like she betrayed them, even for a time. “I was her.”

“You were not,” Penelope denied.

“I was,” Emily insisted. “When I started at the BAU.”

JJ’s forehead wrinkled. “What do you mean?”

“Strauss asked me for dirt on Aaron,” the brunette answered. “In exchange for information about the people who were ahead of me on the FBI ladder.”

Both women looked a little shell shocked. “And?”

Emily shrugged. “I learned early on it was either ambition or family.”

“And now you’re dating the guy you were supposed to find dirt on,” Penelope said shaking her head. “Isn’t the world beautiful? I told you everything happens for a reason.”

Emily wasn’t usually one for talk of fate, but she found herself blushing.

“I take it you didn’t play spy?” JJ asked almost rhetorically.

Penelope gasped, as if coming to a realization. Which she quite thoroughly had. “Oh my God!”

“What?” JJ asked. “What’s wrong?”

“You quit!”

Emily found herself blushing redder. There was more than the team at stake in her very, very short time as a spy for the department head. By that point she’d admitted to JJ and Penelope that maybe, just maybe, she had a sort of thing for their boss.

“What?” JJ asked, still confused.

“You quit instead of spilling your guts to Strauss! Girl, this is priceless.” Penelope was almost cackling at the news.

Even as JJ laughed, it made her feel much better about their relationship, in a twisted sort of way. Emily had been willing to quit for Hotch once, the same time he’d been debating the move out of the BAU. She wasn’t pessimistic enough to think that it could never work between her colleagues, but she felt much better that if it did, or if it didn’t, they’d find a way to make something work. Emily resigning for Hotch was proof of how invested she’d been, even then. And if their relationship ended in happiness for all involved, all the better.

 

Emily was almost skipping when she returned to her apartment later that night. She’d spent the entire day with Penelope and JJ, sharing secrets, gushing, talking about anything except dead bodies and serial killers. Her message light was blinking. 2 messages. The first one was from Aaron.

“I would have called your cell but you made it clear JJ and Garcia were important, so I thought I’d leave a message instead. Jack and I will be by around nine to head to the zoo. He’s really looking forward to it. We both are.”

Emily smiled all the way through the message. She was looking forward to it too. Not only had she been too busy to do anything remotely tourist-like for the last long while, she was looking forward to spending the day with both Aaron and Jack.

The second message made her freeze.

“Emily, it’s your mother. Thanksgiving is coming up and I need your RSVP as soon as possible. Phillip is throwing a fit.”

Emily groaned. She’d completely forgotten about her mother’s fancy Thanksgiving dinner. A night of beauty, tradition and single, rich men her mother thought appropriate for her to settle down with. Every daughter’s worst nightmare. She felt bad for Phillip too. She knew how stressed he got when his mother was trying to plan the perfect event. She picked up the phone, dialing Phillip’s direct line instead of going through her mother.

“Phillip, it’s Emily. I’ll be at Thanksgiving. Plus one.”


	30. Chapter 30

It was five to ten the next morning when the little knock sounded on her door. Emily grinned as she stood, walking quickly to the door to let both males into her apartment. “Good morning,” she sang cheerfully, even as her stomach rolled. She was nervous. Her mother’s message had put her off the night before, as had her own brazen decision to put ‘plus one’ on her RSVP. Now she just needed a way to actually ask him to accompany her to a family function.

Jack immediately hugged her leg. “We’re going to the zoo!”

“We are,” Emily agreed ruffling his hair. She watched as Jack’s curiosity seemed to get the better of him and he wandered off into her apartment to explore.

“Good morning,” Aaron greeted her softly. She looked absolutely domestic in jeans , a t-shirt and a zip-up hoodie. Her hair was pulled back into a functional ponytail. He liked this Emily.

Emily smiled, inwardly rolling her eyes. Aaron was a private man, but Jack was going to find out about their relationship change sooner or later. And the child wasn’t an idiot. Jack probably knew it was something significant when his father invited Emily along to the zoo. So she took the initiative, stepping into his personal space to bestow a light kiss on his lips. “How are you?”

“Good,” he said, smiling down at her. He pushed her door closed and pulled her in for a longer kiss. “Very good.”

She smiled, her cheeks going red.

Aaron took her hand. “Jack, come on.”

The small boy came racing back into the front hall, eyes bright with excitement. “We’re going to see all the animals!” he cheered.

Emily laughed, following father and son out so she could lock up. Jack jumped almost the entire way down on the elevator, making both Emily and Aaron nervous. He chattered the whole way about animals about school about anything he could come up with. Emily listened, asking the appropriate questions at the appropriate intervals and putting in all of the perfect reactions to his narration. Aaron sat in the front seat simply enjoying it all, trying not to laugh.

It seemed perfectly natural for her to grab Jack out of the backseat once they found a parking lot and hold onto the backpack of snacks and water Aaron had brought with them as father strapped son into a leash-like contraption.

“Alright,” Emily said as soon as they were through the zoo gates. “Where too first?”

“Hippos!” Jack exclaimed enthusiastically.

They were off.

 

Jack lost energy quickly around lunch time, partially because he was hungry, partially because he’d walked most of the way through the zoo. The animals were awesome, he decided. He’d seen hippos, and elephants and lions and monkeys. He liked spending time with Daddy and Daddy seemed especially happy when Emily was around. Jack like Emily too, so it didn’t matter so much.

But he was most definitely hungry. “Daddy, I’m hungry.”

Daddy exchanged a look with Emily. “I think we could stop for some lunch,” he agreed.

Jack was most thankful. He turned and held his hands up. “Carry me?”

Daddy seemed to make the sound parents made when they were annoyed with their children’s antics, but lifted him into the air. Jack watched as Daddy took Emily’s hand again. They’d been doing that all day, holding hands, hugging, the things Jack remembered his Daddy doing with his Mommy. Jack didn’t mind, really. He liked Emily and it seemed like Daddy liked Emily too. And if Daddy liked Emily and Daddy was happy when Emily was around, who was Jack to argue? He didn’t much enjoy it when Daddy was upset or sad.

Daddy carried him to a picnic table and sat him down, leaving him with the backpack and Emily as he went into the restaurant. That felt much better. His poor little feet were starting to hurt from all that walking. Jack’s eyes were on the birds wandering about the nearby grass. “What are those?” he asked Emily, sitting beside him.

“Peacocks,” Emily answered with a smile. “The boy peacocks are all the colours.”

“With the funny tails?” Jack asked. He grinned when Emily nodded. “Why do they have funny tails?”

“Because they want the girls to notice them,” Emily replied patiently as she pulled things out of the bag.

“Excuse me, ma’am? Would you like a picture of your son with Bobo?”

Jack looked up at the strange man and giggled at the small monkey sitting on top of his head. “You have a monkey on your head,” he said in between giggles.

“Do you want to hold him?” the man asked.

Jack looked to Emily who encouraged him with a smile and a nod. Still, he moved closer to her, climbing into her lap as the man let the monkey wander onto the table. Jack and Bobo stared at each other for a few moments before the monkey moved, racing up Emily’s nearby hand and arm to sit on her shoulder. Jack giggled as he looked up at her while Emily darted a surprised look at the monkey man.

He squealed when the monkey jumped from Emily’s shoulder to rest on his head. “He’s on my head!”

“He is,” Emily laughed, her hands reassuring around him.

Jack looked up to find Daddy. “Daddy! Look! I have a monkey on my head!” he exclaimed.

Daddy chuckled. “I see that.”

The monkey raced down again, chattering as he came to a stop in front of the monkey man. For the first time Jack noticed he had a camera. He giggled at the monkey’s antics while Daddy and Emily talked to the man and waved a cheery goodbye as both man and monkey departed. He happily turned to lunch as Daddy passed him food.

 

Emily watched with a soft smile on her face as they followed Jack closely through the Small Mammal House. It was odd to feel so much like a family when really, she wasn’t a part of it. At the same time, it felt very, very good. Jack was an adorable child and it was disgustingly obvious that Aaron doted on his son. It was Jack’s day, she and Aaron were simply tag-alongs. They’d let Jack choose every place they went, in what order they went to each place and what animals to see and which to avoid. Emily had quickly learned that Jack was not a fan of rhinos, even though he adored hippos, and elephants weren’t in his good books either.

But it had been a fantastic change to get time to spend with Aaron. While Jack was racing about, trying to weave his way through spaces Emily and Aaron couldn’t – and not succeeding, for half of the time he was attached to a child leach – the adults chatted about whatever they could think of. It wasn’t the first time they’d done it, and certainly wouldn’t be the last. They seemed to be able to discuss many different topics beyond serial killers, and crime. They both had an interest and investment in politics and had many stories from various gala nights or fundraisers they’d been forced to go to by their parents.

It was during one of those topics that Emily started chewing her lip. Aaron knew something was up.

“What is it?”

“What is what?” Emily replied, trying to play innocent. It was the perfect opportunity to see if he’d accompany her to her parents’ thanksgiving shindig.

“You’re chewing your lip,” he said with a smile, squeezing the hand he was holding. “Something’s up.”

Emily sighed. “My parents have this dinner every year for Thanksgiving,” she said finally. “I was hoping you’d come.”

“To your parents?” he tried to clarify with a raised eyebrow. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Emily’s heart sank. She’d known it was too early in the official relationship to be asking him to meet the parents, but she’d hoped he’d want to go as much to spend time with her as because it was her family. “You’re probably right,” she said.

He knew her better than that and could tell that it wasn’t the answer she was looking for. “I’d love to go,” he told her honestly. “But…There’s the work thing, and they are your parents.”

She hadn’t thought about that. Sometimes it was nice to have another person around to think those things through, especially when they were as good looking as Aaron was. Still, she wasn’t sure she liked the idea of him not being there. It meant she had to suffer through her parents’ (mother’s) matchmaking attempts and too many men trying to feel her up or get her into dark corners. She didn’t much relish that kind of situation. She sighed. “You’re right,” she replied. “Very right.”

Aaron knew it didn’t make it much better and he found himself weighing the pros and the cons of a situation like that. Even if her parents didn’t say anything – which was likely for the simple reason of trying to keep the scandal and drama to a minimum at events like theirs – Emily would be looking at disapproving eyes all night. He didn’t much enjoy the idea of her being a single woman in a room full of her parents’ friends and their ‘eligible’ sons.

It was starting to look like the pros outweighed the cons.

“Okay,” Aaron said.

“Sorry?” Emily asked in surprise.

“I’ll check with Haley but I’m sure we can work something out with Jack,” he replied. “I’ll go with you.” Her excitement and relief was palpable as she screamed like a schoolgirl and hugged him tight. He couldn’t help but laugh at her.

“Don’t laugh, you’ve only met my mother.”

“I thought she was the bad one,” he replied, his eyes seeking out Jack’s small head not two feet away. They’d tripped a few people because Jack had gone racing ahead.

“She is,” Emily conceded. “My dad’s the good one. The rest are… optional.”

“The rest?” He’d been her mother’s security detail, but had met very little of the family. He knew she had a brother, but from there, he drew a blank.

“We’re not big,” Emily admitted. “I mean, there’s mom, dad, my brother and I and then my mom has one sister, my dad a brother and a sister. They’re all married, but I’ve lost touch with my cousins since I pulled away from my family.”

“You shouldn’t do that, you know.”

“Pull away from my family? I know, but it’s the extended family I’m not really in touch with. Chris and I talk all the time, Dad and I talk all the time. Mom and I talk when we have to.”

He remembered that. Elizabeth Prentiss had been involved in one of their cases and the relationship between mother and daughter had been cordial at best. “How many cousins?” He enjoyed getting to know the intricacies of what made Emily who she was especially since personal was generally out of the question at work.

“Uh… five,” Emily answered though the tone of her voice indicated she wasn’t completely sure.

He chuckled.

She smacked him. “Can you name your extended family?”

“No, but I make no secret of it,” he pointed out. “Sean and I are brothers, the rest is an optional part.”

“And you had Haley and you’ve got Jack. What more do you need?”

“Right,” Aaron agreed. But there was so much more he needed. Okay, maybe not needed, but definitely wanted. He liked having Haley to come home to every night, loved being greeted by Jack when, at four, he came racing to the door to greet him if he wasn’t home too late. He’d adored having Emily home. She knew what he saw every day and often left him to handle things himself. She knew he’d talk when he wanted to and until then, pushing him was futile.

He mentally smacked himself. The path his brain was going down was a dangerous one, especially with her so close and Jack right in front of him. He’d always loved the idea of a family, if only to give someone else what he didn’t have. He wasn’t close with either of his parents, and yet, strove for their approval. And he’d gotten it quite thoroughly. Between his time as one of the top federal prosecutors, his marriage to Haley, Jack and his ascension through the ranks of the FBI, he was the angel child to Sean’s free spirit. And yet, he hadn’t talked to his parents since Haley asked for the divorce. It had just been easier.

He found more comfort with Emily than Haley had ever given him. Emily had always been quiet strength for him. She was always encouraging, always strong and yet, he knew that she talked to Morgan, Garcia and JJ after cases. He hoped that would be something to change. Aaron knew she needed her friends, and knew that they were good genuine friends, but he also hoped that those insecurities about cases would be confided to him. When he’d made the decision that he wanted more with her, he’d known that he was going into it for the long haul. Emily wasn’t the type of person who put her job on the line for a passing attraction either and it made him much more comfortable in the relationship.

“You still with us?”

Emily’s amused voice brought him back to the present, where Emily had picked up an exhausted Jack because his father was lost in his own world. He hadn’t even felt her let go of his hand to pick him up. He felt himself stir and knew he had to either get out of there, or get Jack out of Emily’s arms. She’d make a fantastic mother. “Yeah, sorry.”

“See?” she asked the small toddler. “I told you Daddy wasn’t paying attention.”

Jack nodded sleepily against her shoulder. It had been a long day for the small tyke.

Aaron raised an eyebrow. “What did I miss?”

“What do you think the chances are that your parents are going to be there anyway?” Emily repeated her original question.

He winced. He so hadn’t thought about that. “Can we hope not?”

She tilted her head in consideration. “It would be killing two birds with one stone,” she pointed out. “Your family and my family. One night only.”

He laughed as his head whirled. It would be easier to do both families at once, but he knew they ‘d be less than impressed. It was one reason he was jealous of Emily. How she’d managed to toss her parents’ opinions out the window he’d never understand. He chalked it up to the fact that her father, from her own stories, adored her, even if her mother saw her as the poster child for modern feminism.

“Hey,” she said nudging him as they made their way out of the building. “Think of it this way: we’re in public, so even if they put two and two together and know we’re dating, it doesn’t matter. They can’t say anything to us while we’re there and then what? The worst we get is an angry telephone call that we can, technically, ignore. So we sit through a stuffy evening, talk about a few serial killers to keep annoying people off of our tails and play nice for the parents.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had to go to a political function. He often pulled the work card or ensured that he had something else he had to do and couldn’t attend. If it wasn’t work, it was family, and his parents usually left him alone when he mentioned Haley or Jack. Haley’s bed rest had been the perfect excuse for a few months too, not that he’d wish that on any mother. Emily actually made it sound bearable.

“And, you’ll be saving me from the paws of the still unmarried, or married-and-don’t-care men that are bound to be there. A knight, a saviour and someone I can actually talk to all rolled into one. You can hold your own at high profile functions and I know you look good in a suit.”

She’d just made the whole thing sound even better. “You don’t have to convince me,” Aaron told her. “I said I’d go.”

“Only after I made you feel guilty about not coming,” she replied as he held the door open for her. She almost gasped when she felt his hand rest on the small of her back. It wasn’t that it was the first time he’d done it but with Jack in her arms and no work around, it felt a little bit more intimate.

He shook his head, part amusement part exasperation. “I can understand why you wouldn’t want to go on your own.” And he knew why he wouldn’t want her going on her own. “I think I can spend a night with political society and come out alive.

She didn’t doubt it for a minute.


	31. Chapter 31

Jane Morrow took deep breaths as she made her way through the halls of Quantico’s training center. Nervous was an understatement in describing how she was feeling. In fact, it was probably the last word she’d use. Terrified, scared out of her mind, and petrified all rolled into one was a pretty close description. Erin Strauss had asked to see her.

This would be Jane’s first time talking with Strauss after being assigned to the team. Jane sighed. If it hadn’t been for Emily Prentiss’ return, she’d probably be in a completely different position. But Agent Prentiss had made it perfectly clear that if she snitched to Strauss, she would never be accepted on the team. In the long run, being accepted in the best BAU team Quantico had to offer would win out over the approval of the department chief. She’d much rather get the chance to work with a team that seemed so in tune with each other than be forced to constantly rat them out.

“Agent Strauss?” she said softly as she knocked on the door. “You asked to see me?”

“Agent Morrow, come in, sit down.”

Jane did as she was asked forcing herself to look and act calm.

“How was your first case?”

“Good ma’am,” Jane answered cordially. “Interesting.”

“And your colleagues?”

“Brilliant, ma’am. It’s an honour to work with them.” Strauss’ recommendation hadn’t been the only thing that had gotten Morrow her position with the BAU. Jane was smart and she studied behaviour just like her counterparts. She could almost see Strauss’ annoyance at the straight forward answers.

“What do you think of them?”

The moment of truth. She’d have to mix the eagerness that Strauss thought she could manipulate with her desire to stay on the team and become a member of their little family. “They’re a little cold, ma’am, but it’s only to be expected. I am the new agent, after all. Agent Prentiss was very nice to me.” It was the truth. Strauss could take of it what she wanted.

“And Agent Hotchner?”

“He’s an excellent leader.” Again, she was telling the truth. Even if the behaviour of the team spoke of how they were guarding more secrets from her than they did from each other, Hotch was a good man and an excellent leader. Any other behaviour she observed was his and his alone. It would feel like a betrayal of Agent Prentiss’ trust to speak of any of the questionable interaction between them.

“How is Agent Prentiss?”

“She seems fine, ma’am, if you’re talking about her injury,” Jane replied. “It seemed like the team was very happy to have her back.”

“And she was fine while on the case.”

“Yes ma’am. In fact, she was probably the most stable one.” Jane could tell that news almost came as a surprise to the blond woman, but she didn’t ask any more questions on Prentiss’ health, physically or otherwise.

“Thank you, Agent Morrow. That will be all.”

Jane stood and left, suddenly even more aware of Strauss’ perception of her within the team. Most of the questions she’d been asked had been about the team members, not about her experience and whether or not she felt it was the position for her. While it was true she hadn’t said much throughout the case and really had taken on the role of the observer, Jane still felt she belonged with the unit and knew she could find a way to fit in.

Agent Prentiss was the first one to look up when she returned, though Reid had his headphones in, awkwardly bopping his head to the music floating from them and Morgan was currently nowhere to be seen.

“How was it?” she asked, her eyes asking more than that. _What did you say? Did you say anything that could ruin this family right when I came back to it? What did Strauss ask so we know for future?_

Jane looked around, checking to see who was listening, then approached Prentiss’ desk. “Uneventful.”

Prentiss cocked her head to the side.

Jane knew her approach had been the anomaly considering her answer. “She asked me mundane questions.”

“Is that why you’re shaking?” Prentiss asked.

Jane hadn’t even realized she was. She blew out a breath. “Is that what it was like? Is she always that terrifying?” She could tell Prentiss wanted to laugh at that.

“Her job is to save the unit,” the raven-haired woman responded. “She thinks she can pre-empt things by looking at what’s already happened.”

“Why this team though? Don’t you guys basically make this unit?”

This time, Prentiss did laugh. “We get it done,” she agreed, neither confirming nor denying the importance of their team. “I find she has it in for Hotch more than she does the rest of us.”

“She asked me about him. And about you.” Jane had always been taught that sharing pieces of yourself usually meant the person would do the same in response.

“Oh?”

Jane shrugged. “I guess she wanted to know what I thought of him as my unit chief. And she wanted to make sure you were okay on your first case back.” She could tell Prentiss believed maybe half of what she’d said. Which was perfectly fine. Jane was pretty sure what she would infer would be dead right.

“He’s good at his job,” Prentiss said.

“He is,” Jane agreed. “Anyway, I have my paperwork to finish and two consults from this morning.”

Prentiss smiled and nodded, turning back to her own work. Jane had just gotten settled back into her desk, pen poised to make notes on one of the two consults when Prentiss called her name.

“I think you’ll fit in just fine.”

Jane smiled.

 

Hours later, right around the time her stomach reminded her that it was just after 12:30, Emily pushed her chair back and stretched. She glanced up at Aaron’s office, unsurprised to find the door closed. She could see through the blinds that he was on the phone and almost rolled her eyes. “Anyone want lunch?” she asked.

Derek leaned back in his chair. “You buying?” he asked with a grin.

“Of course not,” Emily replied without blinking an eye. “At least not for you. You still owe me.”

“Do not,” Derek shot back, looking affronted. “Sandwich please.”

Emily held out her hand for money as she faced her other colleagues. “You guys?”

Reid waved her off without looking up. Morrow shook her head. “Thanks though.”

JJ was Emily’s next stop and the blond opted to come down to the Quantico cafeteria with her.

“I’ve been looking at cases all day,” JJ said as she and Emily made their way to the elevators. “I could use the break.”

“Couldn’t we all,” Emily agreed. “I’ve been writing the same thing twelve different ways for the last three hours.”

“Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to work in a regular PR firm,” JJ confided. She leaned forward to press the button for the elevators.

Emily grinned. “Boring in comparison.”

“But if I didn’t know this job…” JJ shrugged.

“If we all didn’t know this job,” Emily responded. She was in a surprisingly happy mood. Usually paperwork made her lethargic and annoyed, but today, no matter her frustration with the repetition the FBI paperwork called for, she was happy. It probably had everything to do with her trip to the zoo and Aaron’s agreement to accompany her to Thanksgiving, but she wasn’t going to jinx her happiness.

“Alright, Miss Perky, did we take one too many happy pills this morning?” JJ asked as both women stepped onto the elevator.

“I went to the zoo,” Emily replied with a laugh.

JJ tilted her head. “They say that’s the best place to study human behaviour. I’m assuming there were not lessons on anatomy.”

“JJ!” Emily exclaimed scandalously. “Not with a six-year-old there!”

The blond laughed. Emily’s happiness was apparently contagious. “Wow, a family outing.”

Both women stepped off the elevator almost completely in sync and made their way through the short hall to the cafeteria. The line for lunch wasn’t long, but it wasn’t exactly short either. “It was nice.”

JJ eyed her. “There’s something you’re not telling me. Either you just spill or I call Pen down here. No matter what, we find out.”

Emily flinched. In the work place, she didn’t like to talk about her private life. However, they’d started the conversation without names, she was sure they could probably continue it. “My parents through a Thanksgiving thing every year,” she began as the line moved. “And every year, I have to deal with sweaty gross hands, and smarmy politicians. Trust me, I scrub myself raw at the end of the night.”

“Alcohol always helps.”

Emily laughed. “To dull the disgust afterwards, maybe, but I’d rather have all of my faculties in tact at the time.”

JJ had to give her that. “So you asked him?”

“I did,” Emily agreed. “And he’s coming.”

“Really? In a crowd like that?”

“There’s no reason his parents shouldn’t be there either and it’s really a win-win for both of us. I don’t have to deal with the octopus hands and even if they figure everything out, they can’t say anything because it’s in public.”

“Are you going to broadcast it?” JJ asked as they moved again.

“No,” Emily said. “That is a can of worms I don’t think either of us wants to open.”

“Then I don’t get it.”

“I get interesting conversation, safety from being uncomfortably groped and a chance to spend a holiday with him. He gets to make sure I don’t get groped, a chance to spend the night with me and guaranteed non-boredom.”

JJ shook her head. “You guys have such an odd relationship,” she said as she picked up a garden salad and a bottle of water. Not eating much on cases often translated to not eating much in the office.

Emily followed behind, grabbing a chicken caesar salad for herself, a roast beef sandwich for Derek and then a chicken wrap. “It’s not odd,” she defended. “We just have a lot more to deal with than a conventional couple.”

“Hungry?” JJ asked in amusement as she paid.

“Lunch run,” Emily replied. “You think Thanksgiving’s a bad idea?”

“I think it’ll be an interesting night. I’d pay to be a fly on the wall.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “So long as claws don’t stay exposed too long. I mean, I can play the underhanded dig game with politics’ best, but he doesn’t need to see that.”

“He probably can too,” JJ pointed out.

“And probably doesn’t want me to see that side of him either,” Emily responded. “We’re both hoping to keep drama to a minimum.”

“Understandably so. I remember your mother.”

“She’s used to getting her way,” the raven-haired woman agreed as they boarded the elevator again.

JJ was glad to see they were the only two on that particular car. “And Hotch?” she asked once the doors had closed. “If I remember right your mother sidelined him. Oh! And what about that Kite guy.”

Emily groaned. “They’ll be mourning the loss of their almost-daughter-in-law and won’t be able to make it? That would be terrible!”

JJ laughed as the doors opened on their floor and both women stepped out. “Let me know how that goes. I have a feeling it’ll entertain me.”

“You’re such a good friend,” Emily shot back sarcastically as they split ways. She dropped the roast beef sandwich on Derek’s desk and left the salad on hers before making her way up the steps. She knocked softly before poking her head in. He was off the phone so she opened the door completely. “Lunch.”

Aaron was surprised, to say the least. He hadn’t been paying attention to the time at all, an affliction he developed since Haley moved out and he had no real reason to go home. He hadn’t realized it was lunch time and he definitely hadn’t been paying attention to his stomach. He’d gotten immersed in his files again. He smiled as she stepped in and set the wrap on his desk. “You didn’t have to.”

“In theory. It’s good to eat, you know,” she replied cheekily.

He smiled. “Thank you. For lunch.”

She smiled back. “You’re welcome.” She turned to leave, then seemed to change her mind and stepped back again. “What are you doing next Friday?”

“Barring work, nothing,” he answered. “Why?”

“Let’s do something,” she proposed softly. “Go out.”

“Why Agent Prentiss,” he said teasingly, very much not Agent Hotchner. “Are you asking your boss on a date?”

“So what if I am?” Emily responded coyly. “You think he’d be up for it?”

Aaron chuckled. “I think he would be.”

“Excellent. We’ll talk about it later. Enjoy your lunch!”

And she was gone.


	32. Chapter 32

Emily was starting to panic.

Thanksgiving had crept up on her much faster than she’d liked. Now, as she was putting the finishing touches on her makeup for the night, her heart was sitting uncomfortably in her throat and making mascara almost painful to apply. She’d poked herself in the eye more than once because her hand was shaking.

It wasn’t that she didn’t think she could handle the night. She was most definitely looking forward to spending some serious time with Aaron. The problem was her parents, his parents and the rest of the people that would be there. Her mother used her as a poster child, with the exception of her single status and Emily knew a couple of family friends that would love to merge the families. She was afraid of being bombarded, of her mother ignoring that she’d brought a date and still trying to force any single men in attendance on her. She made a mental note to stick close to her father, the only person Emily knew who could humour and handle her mother at the same time.

And she’d have to warn Chris. Her brother had always been a fantastic rescue when he wasn’t off ‘making nice’ with the ladies. Now that he was married – something that often put him above her in Elizabeth Prentiss’ books – he could be her rescuer and still spend most of the evening with his wife, Charlotte. Since she was bringing Aaron this year, she hoped Chris’ rescue needs would be minimal.

Though, when she thought about it, it would only be her mother and possibly her father that knew Aaron was her boss. Other than that, the majority of the room would be clueless as to their working relationship. Even if they were asked where they met, at work would be correct without stretching the truth. No one needed to know they met at work because they worked in the same unit. Especially that it was a unit as intense as the BAU.

The knock on her door startled her. She wasn’t ready yet. Her thoughts had paused her completely in her preparation routine. Not that it mattered much. They’d agreed to meet at her place a half an hour before Phillip had scheduled the car to pick her up. That way they could go together and have some immediate back up if needed. She sighed as she made her way to the door.

“Hey,” she greeted with a shaky smile.

Aaron raised an eyebrow as he stepped forward to kiss her cheek. “I’m not sure that robe will pass as clothing for your parents.”

“I’m not ready yet,” she said with a sigh. “My dress is hanging on the door of my closet upstairs.”

He followed her upstairs, well aware of how nervous she was. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, only partially telling the truth. “I’m just… nervous.” She made a beeline for the bathroom and her still scattered beauty supplies.

Aaron followed her, leaning against the doorframe. “Nervous is a good word.”

“You’re nervous?” Emily asked in surprise.

“Shouldn’t I be? I don’t remember your father or your brother. And there’s the rest of the family you’ve threatened me with.”

That got a small smile out of her. “I didn’t threaten you with them at all. I was merely preparing you.”

He quirked his lips. It was good to talk to her about this. Sometimes she had the whackiest logic of anyone he knew. “Preparing me for what?”

“An evening of being judged on how much you make and how much you work,” Emily responded as she double-checked her eye shadow, mascara and liner. She dabbed at the corner of her eye and a clump of black that had formed there. “On whether or not you’re married and what your spouse makes as a result. It’s bad enough that I’m a woman that works, I happen to work in the FBI. All of these people are used to getting everything they want, whenever they wanted. I worked to get into the BAU. It’s what I want.”

“I know that, the team knows that, what else matters?” Aaron asked logically, folding his arms across his chest.

“I just hate how judgmental they are,” Emily replied as she went about methodically putting away her makeup supplies. “I’m going to spend the night smiling at everything, laughing politely, not telling each and every person what I think of them.”

“You compartmentalize.”

“But I’m not perfect,” she pointed out. “I want to slap the married grandfather that wants to pinch my ass as much as the next woman, but we can’t because it would be seen as inappropriate and making a scene.”

“We’ve got each other,” he reminded her gallantly. “And serial killers.”

She laughed at that. “Thank God for Jack the Ripper. I never thought I’d say that.”

“I never thought I’d hear it,” he responded.

She stepped past him, brushing against him for the sense of touch as much for the reassurance his presence brought. She pulled her dress off of the hangar and draped it over her arm, looking at him expectantly. She grinned as he stepped away from the door, arms up. “That doesn’t mean I have to like going.”

“I’m not exactly jumping at the opportunity either,” he chuckled.

“We talk about this, and I talk about my family and your family and yet every single time, I seem to forget that you know exactly what I’m talking about,” she said. “I’m going to need your help with the zipper.”

That was dangerous territory. He was already on edge not only because they’d gotten more and more intimate after each date, but because he knew he was looking at an evening of other men gazing at whatever dress she’d chosen. And Emily was the type of person who would pick a dress that would make a man salivate with only one man in mind, disregarding the possibility of the reactions of other men. He gave himself a point when she stepped out of the bathroom, holding the dress to her front. Aaron made quick work of the zipper on the back of her dress, trying to ignore the new knowledge that she was most definitely wearing a black bra and spun her to face him.

Royal blue was her colour and the v-cut of the dress tastefully displayed her cleavage. It hugged her curves on the way down, accenting her slim waist with a black sash. The skirt dropped to her knees and left enough leg to be tantalizing while still being appropriate for politics. If they didn’t get out of here soon he was going to lose his self-control. “You are gorgeous.”

She blushed prettily. “Thank you.”

And she wasn’t even wearing shoes. It wasn’t that he had a foot fetish, but he recognized how much shorter Emily was when she was barefoot and recognized that it was his protective instincts rearing their ugly heads. He would have kissed her if the buzzer hadn’t sounded.

She looked shocked. “They’re early.”

Part of Aaron was thankful. Too much longer and he was pretty sure they wouldn’t be making it to the dinner at all. She looked drop-dead gorgeous in her dress and it emphasized all of the parts of her body that were assets. He let her lead the way down the stairs, taking her jacket from her as she double checked that it was the car downstairs.

Her heels put her head in the perfect position to just tuck her chin on his shoulder, leaving them almost cheek to cheek. She smiled her thanks as he helped her into her jacket and slipped her arm into his as they made their way down to the front of her building. She was glad for the contact as she smiled at the driver and climbed in the back, she took his hand as soon as they were both settled in the back.

Aaron raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you going to leave any circulation in my hand?”

Emily blushed. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you so worried?” he asked, murmuring the words against her temple.

She sighed, leaning against him. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “It’s just your family, my family, and a few of society’s highest and mightiest. Most of them don’t know we work together, even fewer of them know you’re my boss. I have no reason to be so panicked.”

“But you are.”

“But I am,” she repeated in agreement. “My gut is telling me something is going to go horribly wrong and that’s the last thing that I want for the night.”

“Everything will be fine,” he said, reaching across to cup her opposite hip and drag her body into his. He had this need to touch her, to hold her close and keep her close. He could academically chalk it up to the knowledge that they were about to go to an event where she’d been felt up before. He knew he was possessive, and more importantly knew he was protective. It was comforting to know that Emily didn’t mind it all that much. In this case, she’d probably thank him for it.

She curled into his side as best she could, tempted to throw her legs over his lap and just stay. She didn’t want to go to this shindig. She didn’t want to face her mother, didn’t want to deal with the society, didn’t want to put herself in a potentially volatile situation. All she could hope for was a protective Aaron that wouldn’t let her out of his sight unless he had to. She absolutely _hated_ these types of parties. “I know.”

His hand stroked through her hair, well aware that it was an excellent way to calm her down. They were silent through the car ride, lost in their own thoughts. The beginning of their relationship had been marked with small talk, little things through her stay at his place and their first few dates. Now, though, they didn’t need small talk and they’d learned that sometimes it was best not to say anything.

Emily pulled away slightly when she recognized they were getting closer. Their quiet moments had settled her mind substantially. It was both terrifying and heart-warming to know that they calmed each other. “We’re almost there,” she said. “Four more hours.”

He chuckled. “That doesn’t bode well for the evening.” Aaron was trying to be optimistic. People in society could smell pessimism like wolves and he didn’t relish the idea of being bombarded the minute they stepped through the door.

Emily took a deep breath. If Aaron could be optimistic, she could too. “This will be fine,” she told herself out loud. “It’s you, it’s me, we’ll be fine.”

“That’s the spirit,” he agreed, leaning over to kiss her.

She deepened the kiss, taking for granted that they had a few seconds left before the driver would be around to open the door. She groaned when he responded in kind. She pulled away when she felt the car turn onto her parents’ driveway. They were both breathing roughly, her eyes were sparkling, and she could see he was no less affected by the kiss. She giggled when the door opened and reached up to wipe at his mouth. “Red is not your colour.”

At her words he willingly submitted to her thumb before climbing out and gallantly holding out a hand to her. They made it up the front stair together. As they went, he said, “You were the one that pointed out they won’t make a scene. It won’t be that bad.”

Phillip answered the door and led them down the hall to what Emily liked to call the ‘reception room’. Scanning the crowd she almost winced. Chris was there with Charlotte, a thankful presence, and her father was making the rounds with her mother. The Hotchners were in attendance and she could tell by the look in their eyes that seeing their son come in with the Ambassador’s daughter was like Christmas had come early.

And then Emily saw the Kites. Logan had been a suspect in a case a few months back, her first one back on the job and she was sure she wasn’t looking forward to that particular conversation. And by the way her mother was chatting with Logan Kite’s parents, Emily figured they had something in mind. When she looked up at Aaron, she could tell he had seen something he hadn’t wanted to as well. “Bar?”

“Please.”

They both knew it was going to be a long night.


	33. Chapter 33

His family were the first they encountered. Emily breathed a sigh of relief. Other families, she could handle. Her mother, on the other hand, would inevitably be disapproving if only because she was his subordinate. Emily had a feeling Elizabeth Prentiss wouldn’t mind so much. Aaron was a Hotchner after all, and they had considerable political pull. She really did hate politics.

“Mother, Father,” Aaron greeted as he and Emily made their way over. He was hoping to get this particular meeting over with. “Sean.”

“Hey,” Sean said with a nod, taking a sip of whatever he had in his tumbler.

Aaron would guess scotch. “Emily, meet my parents, Gabrielle and Liam Hotchner. And Sean, my brother. Mother, Father, Emily Prentiss.”

Sean immediately held out his hand. “Can’t say I’ve heard much about you, but a pleasure to meet you nonetheless.”

Emily almost grinned. She could tell this was the last place Sean wanted to be. “Likewise.”

“Prentiss? As in the Ambassador’s daughter?” Mrs Hotchner said almost gleefully.

“Yes ma’am,” Emily agreed, playing demure. She seemed almost ecstatic that her son was here with the daughter of the ambassador.

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you! Elizabeth talks about you constantly.”

Emily had a seriously hard time believing that. Unless it was to prove that she’d raised her daughter with the right morals and values of their family’s political beliefs. She shook Mr. Hotchner’s hand. “All good things I hope.”

Out came the society laugh. “Naturally.”

“Mr and Mrs Hotchner, pleasure to see you here.”

Emily turned, smiling at her brother. Three years younger and six inches taller than Emily, Christopher Prentiss was his sister’s closest confident, other than JJ and Penelope. He was her personal therapist and best friend, a side –effect of their constantly migrating family. There were many times Chris and Emily had been left to play by themselves because their mother needed the maternal image that came with seeing her children. They had systems built upon system on how to deal with these kinds of situations.

“Christopher, how are you?” Mr Hotchner greeted enthusiastically, shaking the dark-haired man’s hand firmly.

“As good as to be expected,” Chris replied. “Would you mind if I stole my sister?” Then he looked at how close Emily and Aaron were standing and raised an eyebrow at his sister.

Emily knew she was busted. “You know Aaron Hotchner, don’t you Chris?” she said sweetly.

“We’ve met once or twice,” Chris affirmed. “You two are here together?”

Mrs Hotchner almost squealed. “It is fantastic, isn’t it? Haley was a sweet girl, but this is a much better match.”

Aaron almost fell over himself at those words. Haley had always gotten along with his mother. He’d always thought his mother adored Haley, even if she was a little condescending to Haley’s lack of society knowledge. She’d flip her lid if she knew her son was the boss of the ambassador’s daughter.

“Then I’ll steal them both, if it’s alright? Emily and I haven’t had a chance to catch up in ages.”

“Why of course, go on. Liam and Aaron can talk shop later.”

Emily had the feeling when it came to her sons, Mrs Hotchner had more of a say in their lives than their father. “I’m sure we’ll have the opportunity to talk later,” she said graciously.

Emily took Aaron’s hand as they walked off, flashing smiles back at the family behind them. Part of Emily felt terrible for Sean who was left with his parents, but she figured it wouldn’t be long before some woman took advantage of the opportunity.

“Are you insane?” Chris asked, a smile plastered on his face. “No offence, Aaron, but seriously?”

“Chris,” Emily warned.

“He’s your boss,” Chris hissed through clenched teeth. “At the FBI.”

“I know,” she replied, squeezing Aaron’s hand and rolling her eyes at her brother. “I do work there.”

“This is your _boss_ , you thickhead!”

“It wasn’t a whim.” Aaron’s calm voice stopped the bickering siblings as Chris’ attention shifted.

The other man blinked. “I’m sorry?”

Aaron’s hand went around Emily’s back, prepared to defend their developing relationship. “Emily and I didn’t make this decision lightly.”

“Chris, look,” Emily picked up. “Neither of us were going into this without thinking about it all. We lived together for five months before this became everything. This was not a whim, this was not just something we thought ‘maybe this will work’. I’m not that insane.”

Chris looked between them, at the way Emily turned into Aaron’s side. He wasn’t a behaviouralist, but he knew his sister. It certainly looked like Emily was seriously about her relationship with Aaron. “How long?”

“Officially?” Emily asked as she thought about it. “Four months.”

Chris sighed. “Come on, Em.”

She shot Aaron an apologetic look as she pulled away from him. He nodded, making his way to the crowd. She looked Chris dead in the eye. “I didn’t make this decision lightly. I know what’s at stake if something happens. But I’d rather get the chance at this and have it fail then to watch the opportunity to go by. I _like_ him, Chris, I really do. And I know him, he’s in this for real too. This isn’t something that we thought would work so we thought we’d try it.”

“So long as you’re sure. What happens if it ends?”

Emily blushed. “I don’t see it ending any time soon,” she promised.

Chris hugged Emily tight. “I’m glad,” he promised. “You look happy.”

“It’s stupid,” she said. “I shouldn’t be as happy as I feel.”

“And work?” He had to admit, he felt so much better knowing this wasn’t a decision Emily had made lightly. Not that he didn’t trust his sister, but Emily had always said that there was no way she’d ever get involved with anyone she worked with let alone her boss.

Emily shrugged. “We make it work. Most of the team knows, which is helpful. We don’t have to hide, per se.”

“But you’re careful? You worked too hard to get into that unit to have it turn around and bite you.”

“We are careful,” Emily replied, starting to get exasperated. “Chris, I’m old enough to make these decisions by myself.”

He could tell his sister was getting annoyed at his line of questioning, but he was just trying to make sure that everything was exactly what she wanted. He glanced around, leaning close. “So you’re banging your boss?”

Emily looked at him, straight-faced. “Not yet.”

“Yet?”

Emily gave a sly smile. “Yet.”

 

“Emily, darling, why didn’t you find me immediately?”

Emily looked up from her conversation with old family friends to meet her mother’s eyes. She plastered a smile on her face as she exchanged air kisses with the woman. “I’m sorry, Mother, you looked busy.”

“Nonsense,” Elizabeth Prentiss waved off. “Now come, I have someone I want you to meet.”

Emily looked over at Aaron. They both knew what that meant. “Mother, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? You’re here by yourself, Martin is here by himself.”

Emily tried not to wince. ‘Martin’? Really? “I brought a date.”

Elizabeth looked completely shocked. “You did?”

“You remember Aaron Hotchner, don’t you?”

The ambassador’s fingernails dug into her daughter’s arm. “Of course I do. Can I have a word?”

Emily knew she was in for a lecture at the least. It wasn’t a surprise. Elizabeth Prentiss would always put reputation before happiness. It didn’t matter that he was a Hotchner, didn’t matter that he and his family had their own substantial political pull and, as Emily had discovered, his family seemed to be happy with the connection. Leave it to her mother to see something completely different.

“Your supervisor Emily? I taught you better?”

The younger Prentiss woman resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “No one knows he’s my unit chief,” Emily pointed out.

“You are putting yourself in a dangerous position,” Elizabeth scolded. “Think of what would happen to this family if that were to come out.”

“No one knows,” Emily repeated. She loved her mother like any daughter did, but sometimes she wished that the ambassador would think of something outside of politics. “And it’s not like we’re making a big deal of it.”

“So you’re in a relationship,” Elizabeth Prentiss asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yes,” Emily replied strongly.

“Bunny!”

Emily had never been so happy to hear her childhood nickname. No one called her that, except her brother when he was teasing and the one family member she loved, adored and admired to the end of the earth. “Daddy!”

Jonathan Prentiss wrapped his daughter in a tight hug. He’d been watching from a few steps away, well aware that the combination of his very adult daughter and her mother could get volatile fast. From the look on his wife’s face, he had come in at the perfect moment. “How have you been? You haven’t been by the office in a while.”

“My job keeps me busy,” she answered with a smile.

“And your side? Everything healed alright?”

Emily nodded. Her father had tried to make it to the hospital while she was injured, but between her mother, her brother’s firm and her father’s own job, he really hadn’t gotten the chance. They had talked on the phone and he’d known his baby girl had been staying with her boss. “All healed,” she promised.

“So you’re back to work?”

“We finished a case about a week and a half ago. That makes my fourth case since being back at work,” Emily answered, leading his father away from his mother and towards where Aaron was still standing, talking to the group her mother had pulled her from.

“And you still like it?” Jonathan asked.

“I still love it,” she replied, smiling up at him. “I missed it.”

Jonathan raised his eyebrows. “You missed all the blood and gore?” he inquired softly.

Emily laughed. “No, I can’t say I missed that,” she admitted. “But I did miss the people and I did miss the challenge.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re back to it.”

“I am. And there’s someone I want you to meet. Well, meet again.”

“Again?”

“Mmhmm,” Emily replied with a smile. “Dad, meet Aaron Hotchner.”

Jonathan knew the last name. “The prosecutor?”

Emily almost breathed out a sigh of relief.

Aaron took Jonathan’s hand in a strong grip. “I was sir.”

“Please, Jonathan.” Then he turned to Emily. “This is why your mother was hissing at you?”

Emily blushed. “Not exactly,” she replied. “Um… Aaron works with the FBI now.”

Jonathan was a smart man and he nodded. His daughter worked with the man she’d brought as a date. Suddenly he could see Elizabeth’s problem, even if he didn’t agree with it. The way Emily was reacting to the entire situation told Jonathan that his baby girl was a little more than simply crushing on the man.

“And he worked Mother’s security detail when I was starting Yale,” the younger Prentiss rushed out.

That made even more sense. That put Aaron at a solid ten years older than Emily, minimum. He only had four years on his wife. “I see.”

But he wouldn’t do anything. His daughter’s happiness came above his wife’s opinions and he was pretty sure he could get Elizabeth to see the light. Plus, he trusted his daughter and her decisions. He always had. Emily was a smart girl, a girl that had learned the ropes of politics at an age that he never would have wanted her to learn them. He had regrets about his life and one of them, for the longest time, had been that he wasn’t there for his little girl

Emily was chewing on her lip, even as she grasped Aaron’s hand. She didn’t much care what her mother thought, but she did care about what her father’s opinion was. She’d be crushed if he didn’t like the idea. That didn’t mean that she’d end things with Aaron – she was old enough to make decisions without her parents and starting to date Aaron had been one decision she had yet to regret – but it would make things difficult.

“Tell me, son, how is your father doing?”

“Well, sir,” Aaron answered, taking reassurance from Emily’s grip. He had that clichéd feeling that as long as they were together they could do anything.

“I take it Peter Marshall took over the firm?”

Aaron nodded his agreement, feeling a little bit more at ease with the situation. Jonathan Prentiss had always been a jovial man, though he gave off the air of family such that Aaron was sure should Emily’s heart ever be broken because of him, no one would be able to find his body.

Good thing he didn’t have too many plans to break Emily’s heart.


	34. Chapter 34

The Ambassador’s daughter didn’t dare turn down Logan Kite’s invitation for a dance. Her mother was little-miss-perfect that way. Every event had the socializing part of the evening, then dinner, followed by a trip to either the small or large ballroom for some old-fashioned dancing. Emily hated the last part and she hadn’t had a chance to sit down and take a break. Aaron hadn’t exactly been alone either and it was starting to grate on her nerves. She wanted to dance with her date, not with everyone else.

It didn’t help that her first partner, the twenty-five-year-old son of a senator, had definitely tried to feel her up, and her second, a fifty-year-old congressman from Virginia, had roving hands. In fact, all it did was make her want to reaffirm her status with Aaron. And then Logan had asked for his dance and Emily knew she was between a rock and a hard place.

The last time she’d seen Logan, she’d been working. His mother was nice enough and sat on a few committees and things with hers, but his father wasn’t. A shrewd businessman, Eric Kite was well-known for his young secretaries and his after-hours fun with them. Logan was, or had been until Katrina Stark, a chip off the old block. From his smirk, Emily could tell that Logan had gone back to his pre-Katrina days.

“I was so glad to see you could make it,” he said as his hand took hers. The other wrapped around her back, forcing her into intimate contact with him. “Though I was disappointed you brought a date.”

“So sad for you,” Emily replied sarcastically as she easily stepped into the dance.

He put on the perfect face of sad gratitude. “I’m so glad you found Kitty’s killer.”

Emily resisted the urge to wrinkle her nose in disgust. Her nickname was ‘Kitty’? She wasn’t exactly surprised. “It’s what we do.”

Logan nodded slowly. “I’m eternally grateful.”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Drop the bullshit.”

“Me? Bullshit?” Logan asked innocently. “That hurts. Just like your accusations hurt. Make it up to me?”

The glint in his eye told Emily that the way he was hoping she’d make it up to him was not by simply sending flowers. “You’re dreaming.”

“I thought the ambassador’s daughter was supposed to be accommodating,” he said salaciously.

“She’s also an American citizen with rights, not to mention an FBI agent,” she hissed back, the smile on her face betraying the anger she was feeling. Why on earth did every man feel like they had the right, almost the obligation, to proposition her?

“Mind if I cut in?”

Emily made a mental note to buy her brother a fantastic Christmas present for his excellent timing. Logan looked less than happy that he’d been interrupted. Emily wanted to laugh in his face as she allowed Christopher to lead her away.

“You owe me,” he said with a smile.

“I know,” she answered. “And I thank you to the ends of the earth.”

“You looked like you were going to slap him,” Chris teased.

Emily rolled her eyes. “He was my last straw. There’s only so much a girl can take before she starts to just lose it.”

“If it makes you feel any better, that date of yours hasn’t taken his eyes off of you all night.”

“He’s protective,” she replied with a blush.

“But proprietary, which is both a blessing and a curse,” Chris relented. “I have to remember that when I go home tonight, I’m going home with Charlie, or I’d have punched at least one of the men here by now.”

“He knows how this works.”

“He held his own with Mother and Dad,” he agreed. “Which, considering Mother, is pretty impressive.”

“He’s met Mother before. He was her security detail.”

Chris’ eyebrow went up. “An older man.”

“Don’t even,” she scolded. “You know exactly who Aaron Hotchner is.”

“FBI BAU unit chief, worked his way through the ranks starting in the Seattle office. New divorcee from wife, Haley with one son, Jack. Rumours say he got too wrapped up in his job for his family, though I’m sure you’d argue otherwise.”

“I would.”

“Worked Mother’s security detail before segueing into the FBI, though I don’t remember much about him. You met him at work when he became your unit chief. Tell me, how does the rest of the team feel about you banging your boss?”

“That would require me to be banging him,” Emily said sweetly. She and her brother had always been close, a result of travelling for years and the painful process of making new friends everywhere they went. But he drove her batty when it came to her love life. This seemed like it wasn’t going to be an exception. This would be the second time they went into this.

“I give you twenty-four hours,” Chris said. “You guys have chemistry, I’ll give you that much.”

Emily was blushing. “We’re going slow?”

“Everyone says that,” Chris said with a roll of his eyes.

“You said it yourself, there’s more at stake this time.”

“You both wanted to take your time to make sure jumping each other wasn’t a bad idea? Since when do you stop and consider?”

“Ouch,” Emily said, pressing the hand that was previously resting on her shoulder over her heart.

Chris chuckled. “It was a good decision.”

“We thought so too,” she replied with a sassy smile.

“Cute.” He paused for a moment. “You really mean this, don’t you? You’re in this for the long haul.”

“I am,” she agreed softly. “Though I’m not sure I made a logical choice in that.”

“You can’t help who you fall in love with,” Chris nodded.

Emily sighed. “I don’t know if I’d go as far as to say I love him just yet,” she said honestly.

“Well, you’re both well on your way there. I’ve met some of your significant others and none of them have ever looked at you like he does when he thinks his family and Mother isn’t looking.”

She knew she was bright red. It warmed her heart to know that they were both on the same page, though they hadn’t talked about it. It sounded like they were both heading down the same path and the fact that Chris had picked up on it made her feel a little bit more secure in the relationship.

And at the moment, Emily wasn’t sure how secure either of them were. She was nervous, not because her mother had hissed that they’d talk about her relationship choice later, not because his parents had been so enthusiastic about it, and not even for the usual insecurities that came with the relationship. On the contrary, this need for reassurance seemed to be based on their time apart. They hadn’t had a song together since arriving and it was starting to grate on Emily’s nerves. If Chris was right, it was starting to grate on Aaron’s too.

She’d kept an eye on him throughout the night, at least when her attention wasn’t focused on ensuring she kept her dignity intact. The girls he’d danced with were sophisticated, elegant, more of Haley’s style than hers. They were the ones that would have dinner on the table by seven, the soccer moms that would take the kids wherever they needed to go. She worked and she worked hard. Emily Prentiss wasn’t one to just leave things be, and it had gotten her into the BAU. It wasn’t that she wasn’t proud of her achievements, it was that they were better suited for him.

With her, there were no guarantees. She was a nerd, a complete and utter nerd and though up to that point he hadn’t minded – he could carry on a Star Trek conversation as well as the next person, not to mention his own knowledge of obscure literature – but there was something to be said when they discussed serial killers or the mental stability of a murderer in the morning paper over coffee.

Then there was the complications of their working relationship. She wanted him, she liked him, that was certain, but the insecure part of her was sure that when Aaron got a better offer, when something came around where he had the opportunity to dispose of baggage like the work problem, he would jump at the chance. He and Haley had managed that perfect family life for a time, putting icing on the cake when Jack had come into the picture. And she was sure he’d be able to find it at her mother’s party.

“Hey, you’re going into that dark place again,” Chris said, bringing her attention out of her thoughts.

Emily smiled. He’d nicknamed her head ‘the dark place’ because as children she was the one to overanalyze everything. Chris had been blessed with the ability to go with the flow. Emily had been blessed with a sharp intellect. “Just thinking.”

“Uh huh, and it’s going to get you in trouble one day.” He waited a beat. “You don’t have anything to worry about.”

“What do you mean?” Sometimes Emily wondered if she or Chris should have been the profiler.

“The girls that are here aren’t his type. Too many of them are airheads for him to want them, especially as a second wife.”

“Which one of us analyzes behaviour for a living again?” Emily teased, voicing her earlier thoughts.

“Eh, you know how to get into a criminal’s brain, but when it comes to anything personal, you can’t read squat,” Chris responded.

Emily had to give him that. “One day, I’m going to start paying you for all of the free advice I get.”

“I’ll just put it on your tab,’ he joked as the song came to a close. “Now I shall drop you off at your date and hunt down my wife. Your relationship insecurities are rubbing off on me.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and let him lead the way. Aaron caught her up in his arms as the beginning chords of the next song came on, pulling her as close as he could. She went more than willingly, wrapping her arm around his neck and tucking their entwined hands between their chests. He felt fantastic and smelled even better, especially with the underlying scent of sweat. Emily felt her body respond, to his proximity, to her insecurities and nuzzled his neck just slightly. She had to admit to surprise when the muscles in his neck clenched and his breath caught.

When she raised her head she understood why. Aaron’s eyes had gone dark, darker than they usually were and Emily could see the passionate possession in their depths. She made a mental note to send Chris some sort of gift for his perceptive guess and made a concrete decision. “Let’s get out of here.”


	35. Chapter 35

“Good morning,” Emily greet Derek happily as she strolled into the bullpen.

“Morning, Perky,” he responded, turning to look at her. “Good weekend?”

“Surprisingly.”

It wasn’t a total lie. The way her weekend had turned out had surprised her. She hadn’t expected things with Aaron to take such an intimate turn so soon. Chris had laughed at her when he’d found out about it. The rest of the weekend had gone by like their time living together. It never ceased to shock her how well and how easily they fell into the domestic routine they’d established, but it had felt good to do it again.

Derek looked his colleague up and down. There was something different about her. His eyes lit up. “You didn’t.”

Emily looked at him, noticing the glint in his eyes and couldn’t stop her blush. “That’s private.”

Derek crowed with laughter. “Damn girl! Go big or go home.”

Emily tried to hide her face under her desk as she dug for files. She’d taken a few of her consults home for the weekend with the intention of using them as distractionary tools from her stress. “Shut up,” she groused.

“And how do Mommy and Daddy-dearest feel about this?” Derek had known Emily had a Thanksgiving dinner to attend. It seemed that Hotch had gone with her.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s my life, I get to make the choices.”

Derek raised an eyebrow. Emily’s issues with her mother weren’t really all that hidden. He’d seen the tension between them during the case she’d pulled strings to get them to work on. “I take it Ambassador Prentiss didn’t welcome him with open arms?”

Emily huffed as she dropped into her seat. Derek wasn’t one to give up a line of questioning that easily so she resigned herself to spilling some of the beans. “Why can’t she be happy for me?”

Derek’s other eyebrow rose to join the first. “Em, look at the facts.”

Emily rolled her eyes. She knew the facts. “Trust me, I know.”

“Then you know where her issues are.”

“Of course I do,” she replied in exasperation. “What I don’t understand is why everyone thinks this was some sort of whim. We didn’t just randomly decide one day to do this.”

“I know that,” Derek pointed out. Hotch and Emily weren’t the type of people to throw away excellent FBI postings for a passing attraction. “You guys are good at what you do.”

Emily sighed. “I don’t know,” she said finally. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it, you know?”

In a way, he did. He and Penelope had been doing their flirting dance since the day he’d met her and he had to admit, there were days where he wondered if the distance between them, the baggage they both carried, were things that were impeding a fantastic love affair. But then, Derek Morgan didn’t have the guts, contrary to popular belief, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to settle down just yet. “Yeah.”

She shrugged. “At least we know, right? We could still be dancing around like JJ and Reid.” She knew she didn’t have to add that he was doing the same for Penelope. “Logan Kite was at this thing.”

Derek took the subject change with both hands. “Suspect from the Sacramento case, right?”

“Fiancee of one of the victims,” Emily agreed. “He seems to have bounced back from his girl’s death just fine.”

Derek chuckled. “It’s a fast lifestyle,”

“You’re telling me,” Emily grumbled. “Still, I thought I was going to punch him.”

“You really don’t like this guy, do you?”

Emily snorted. “That’s probably an understatement.” Then her radar went off and she almost jumped. She knew Aaron had gone back to his place for a freshly pressed suit, but it seemed that her body had become fine tuned to his presence since their intimate night.

They hadn’t slept together in the biblical sense since. Just because it happened didn’t mean they had to give in constantly. They were both perfectly content to make out on her couch to a movie. She had a feeling Aaron wanted their next time to be different. Sure enough, he stepped through the bullpen doors, nodding at them both as he made his way up the stairs.

 _How in the hell is he so calm?_ She asked herself, shaking her head in admiration. Aaron Hotchner was a rock. She almost laughed with Derek voiced her exact thoughts.

“Seriously,” Derek continued, his eyes watching their unit chief through his blinds. “You wouldn’t be able to tell if he had Jack over for a weekend let alone… well…”

Emily swiftly nodded her agreement. The last thing she needed was anyone else overhearing them talking about their boss getting laid. But damn had it been a good night. And it had done a spectacular job of reassuring her that everything between them was okay. She’d woken up with doubts, if only because her brain wouldn’t let her simply accept what was happening, but he was there, beside her, naked and she felt better knowing it hadn’t been a dream.

Nevertheless, she knew he, in some way, regretted the way it had all come about. Aaron was traditional to a fault, always careful and considerate with women, whether they were FBI agents or school teachers, or stay-at-home mothers. He wasn’t sexist by any stretch of the imagination, but he understood that chivalry wasn’t totally dead. Emily knew his regret stemmed from the desperate feeling of their first joining and not from actually doing the deed.

Derek watched her with brotherly concern. It seemed Emily floated off into her own world a lot more since she’d been injured and in a way, it worried him. She didn’t share details of her private life any more than the rest of them did while on the job, but she wasn’t one to constantly float off into La-La Land either. He hadn’t been planning on saying anything, if only because it hadn’t affected her performance with the team. Now, however, with the number of times she’d floated off, he was getting a little worried.

He balled up a piece of paper and tossed it at her, smiling when she jumped as it landed on her desk. “Everything okay?”

She cocked her head to the side. “You’ve been asking me that a lot lately.”

“You’ve been losing yourself in your thoughts a lot lately,” he replied, leaning back in his chair.

“I’m not allowed to think?”

“Not if you’re overanalyzing.”

They really needed to re-establish that intra-team profiling rule. “There just seems to be a lot more to think about these days.”

“And would that be because you were injured and you’ve all of a sudden realized what life has to offer?” He knew she didn’t think he believed that for a moment.

She shrugged. “It just seems like I’m playing with fire more and more often.”

Ah, that beautiful line between admission and obscurity. She’d learned a lot from JJ, though he wouldn’t be surprised if she’d known it before joining the team. It was what evasive answers were built on. “But?”

Emily sighed, meeting Derek’s eyes. “I love this unit.”

Derek was surprised by her answer. Morrow’s appearance had made her return all the sweeter, so to have her even considering leaving, which is what he gathered from her words, was something that hadn’t even dared to cross his mind. He hoped that wasn’t what she was thinking. “Okay….”

“And I might have to leave.”

Four months and they were that serious? Derek found it a little hard to believe. “You’ve got time.”

Logically, Emily knew that. She had time before they had to even think about telling the top brass, if their relationship continued to grow. She had faith it would. She’d firmly believed they were both in the relationship for the long term when they’d started it. It was why she allowed herself these brief glimpses into what could be and it was why she had slowly and secretively started looking at other jobs. Even the most senior BAU agents burned out eventually, so Emily had been keeping an eye out for jobs within the department that would get her out from under Aaron’s command while still allowing her to do the job she’d grown to love.

“Hey,” Derek called, bringing her attention back to him and their conversation. “All of us are behind you.”

Emily smiled. He’d never know how much that meant.


	36. Chapter 36

Emily rushed to pick up the phone. “Hello?”

“You sound out of breath.”

“I just got in,” she answered with a smile in her voice. She glanced at the clock. “Are you at home?”

Aaron sighed. “I am.”

Emily raised an eyebrow. “You are going to be very late,” she teased. Her gut was already telling her something else.

“I’m not going to make it.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry, Emily.”

“What happened?”

“Jack’s sick. Usually I’d leave him with Mildred, but he’s got a cold and the flu. I figured if he didn’t throw up within the two hours before I had to leave I’d send him to Mildred but…”

“He threw up,” Emily finished. An idea was forming in the back of her mind and he moved into her small kitchen, rooting around for her address book.

“He did.”

“Poor thing,” she said sympathetically. “Curl him up with a good movie and lots of juice.”

She heard him sigh again and heard a small whimper, a whimper she determined to be a cranky Jack. “I really am sorry.”

“I know,” she promised.

“We’ll reschedule,” he swore.

“Go be with your son, Aaron.” Her fingers flipped through the address book. _Where is it…_

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Mmhmm,” she said absently. She hung up then and dialled a different number. “Patty? It’s Emily? Are you busy?”

 

Aaron ran a hand through his hair as the credits for Madagascar scrolled across the screen. He was a little down about cancelling on Emily. In fact, he felt terrible about it. It had been a long time since they’d had a night to themselves and he’d been looking forward to it. He knew she had too. He also knew Emily truly did understand that Jack had to come first. Jack was his son and his everything, though Emily came in a very close second. He looked up at the knock on the door. It surprised him even more that it was Emily on the other side.

He blinked. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she responded shyly. “I hope this is okay.”

A smile sprouted over his face. “Yeah,’ he said, moving aside. He caught sight of the Tupperware container in her arms. “Did you cook?”

Emily snorted. “Of course not. I called Patty.”

“Patty?” Aaron asked.

“Patty’s the family chef,” she answered. “I caught her just before she was going to head home. She makes the greatest alphabet soup.”

“Daddy?”

Emily smiled softly as she moved around the couch in front of the small boy. “Hey Bud,’ she greeted, running her fingers through his hair. “How are you doing?”

“I don’t feel so good,” he whined.

“I know honey,” Emily responded sympathetically. “Do you think you could try and eat something?”

Jack whimpered and turned his head away.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’,” she said with a chuckle, looking up at Aaron. She stood, reclaiming the Tupperware container. “I’ll put this in the fridge.”

“Miss Em’ly?”

She turned, surprised. She hadn’t been sure if Jack had fully realized it was her. “Yes Jack?”

“Can you tell me a story?”

“Daddy can tell you a story,” she suggested.

“But you’re the best story teller.” Jack whined, slowly pushing himself up so he could see his father and Emily.

Emily saw the pleading eyes coming before they fully manifested and still couldn’t resist the little boy. “In a minute, okay? I’m just going to-“

But Aaron took the soup from her hands. “I’ll put this away,” he suggested. “You start the story.”

Emily smiled her thanks and popped up on her toes to kiss his cheek. She made her way to the couch, sitting and allowing Jack to find a comfortable position. Eventually she simply pulled him into her lap where he curled against her.

“Can the story be about Prince Jack again?”

“Of course it can, sweetheart,” Emily replied, wrapping her arms around his small body.

“And monster-fighting?”

“Sure,” Emily answered, laughter in her voice. “Can I start now?”

Jack seemed to fully consider the question for a moment before nodding. “Wait!” he changed his mind, just as Emily was about to start. “We have to wait for Daddy.”

Emily smiled indulgently. She’d hoped to give Aaron a break as well as bring the soup, but she wasn’t Jack’s parent. She knew when she’d been sick, all she’d wanted was her father. Heather had been a fantastic nanny, but Emily had just always wanted Daddy.

Aaron had heard the entire exchange and sighed. He’d hoped for a few moments of reprieve to do a little bit of cleaning. It wasn’t that he was going to just pawn his son off on Emily, but since Jack was very Daddy-oriented, Aaron had gotten little chance to pick up after them. It didn’t look like he was going to get the chance though, at least not until Jack was in bed. His heart almost stopped when he caught sight of them sitting together on the couch. Cleaning, he decided, could wait.

 

Two hours later, after an intricate tale of Prince Jack battling the flu monster, Aaron tucked Jack into bed and went back downstairs to find Emily straightening up.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said.

She smiled as she folded the couch blanket. “How long has he been sick?”

“Three days, according to Haley. She dropped him off last night and left this morning for a business trip.” He took a seat on the couch, pulling her down beside him. “Thank you for bringing the soup.”

Emily smiled as she curled against him, throwing her legs over his lap. “I always had it when I was sick,” she revealed.

He chuckled. “You got sick?”

She smacked him lightly. They sat in silence for a moment, his fingers trailing up and down her arm.

“You didn’t have to come,” he said finally.

“I know,” she answered. “But we had a date tonight and I know Jack knows and likes me…” She shrugged. “Is it okay?”

Aaron tipped her chin up, pressing a kiss to her mouth that continued until she was panting, lips swollen, straddling his lap. “It’s very okay.”

She pushed her hips into his with a coy smile. “So I see.”

His son was upstairs, out cold from medicine and the utter exhaustion that came with illness and the only thing Aaron could think of was getting another chance to feel her underneath him. With some quick mental calculations, he figured Jack would be asleep for a long time. He dragged the zipper down on her hoodie and pushed it off of her shoulders.

Emily shook as she let her sweater fall to the floor. Thanksgiving had been the first and only time they’d had the chance and time to be intimate like this and it still felt very surreal to her. Her fingers skimmed down his chest to slide under the black t-shirt he wore. She pushed it slowly up his chest, letting her fingers graze his sides as she went.

His hands went under her tank top, brushing up her back and around to her stomach, stroking across spots he’d filed away securely. He removed his hands from her for the time it took her to pull his t-shirt over his head. Then his hands were back on her, slowly pulling her shirt over her had. Where she’d chosen to stick with the tantalizing brush of her fingertips he chose lips and teeth and tongue. She was virtually vibrating under his ministrations.

He seemed intent on focusing on her and really, who was she to argue when her body temperature was rising like it was? Their first time together had been largely centered around reminding themselves that they were together, that the want was there between them. This time felt more like she expected the first time with Aaron Hotchner to feel like. She’d assumed his dedication to his job would reflect in the more private aspects of his life.

Haley had been absolutely insane to let him go.

Her bra was functional black lace – she seemed to have a real love of the material - that stood out against the white of her skin and did a spectacular job at emphasizing her already ample cleavage. He pressed on her nipple through the lace, watching as her head tipped back. He chuckled.

“Mmm,” she murmured, trailing her nails up his chest and briefly over his nipples to scratch lightly at the back of his neck. “Come on, Aaron.”

He kissed down her neck as his hands continued to stroke and play at her breasts through her bra. “I’m taking my time.”

“I can see that,” she said on a groan as his mouth joined his fingers. She arched her back, pushing her breasts into his face so she could reach the clasp of the garment. She gasped as his hands and tongue made contact with bare, sensitive skin.

Emily hands dropped to his belt, managing to unbuckle it with surprising dexterity while his mouth paid thorough attention to her breasts. He caught her wrists before she could address his button-fly and zipper. She growled at the restraint, a growl that turned into a groan when he held her hands behind her back, pulling her down as he pushed up, fitting their pelvises together to put some much needed pressure against her.

“I’m taking my time,” he repeated, switching his grip on her wrists to one hand so his other could stroke her through her pants.

Emily’s head fell forward to rest on Aaron’s shoulder. Her breath came harsh as he stroked her. She knew he wasn’t holding her wrists tightly enough to actually keep them there, but she couldn’t move them anyway. He’d quite effectively distracted her such that the only things he could focus on was his hand against her.

Aaron made quick work of the fastenings of her jeans, delving under her panties to stroke her without barriers in the way. He bared his teeth as she moaned and rocked against his hand. She was beautiful like this, apprehensions gone, enjoying and just feeling. He filed the picture away as she cried out softly, her whole body tensing.

He continued to stroke her softly as she came down from her high, her head leaning on his shoulder as she tried to catch her breath. His own arousal sang through his veins at the way her short hot breaths blew over his neck and the exposed skin of his chest, but he kept himself resolutely focused on her. Aaron was a little surprised when Emily pulled away completely, gathering their shirts and her bra before holding out her hand.

She smiled softly when he followed her lead as they quietly made their way up the stairs, passed Jack’s firmly closed door and into Aaron’s bedroom. She turned when he pushed the door closed behind them, dropping their already removed clothing on the floor. They faced each other, tops gone, both sets of pants undone and riding low and Emily found herself trying to hold in giggles.

He caught her around the waist, hauling her against his body though she came without protest. “What is it?”

“We make quite the pair,” she answered, running her fingers through his hair, kissing him gently. “We match.”

Aaron looked down, noticing what she had. His hand stroked her back, her sides, her belly as Emily ran her fingertips along the line of his boxers. Then his hands slid down her back, sneaking under her panties and shoving them and her jeans down at once. He gave Emily a few minutes to step out of the garments before lifting her up and carrying her the three steps to his bed. “Not any more.”

She hummed in delight when his weight fell on top of her, her fingers finding their way under his underwear to cup and stroke him. She felt a thrill of triumph when he groaned and dropped his head against her shoulder. “For how much longer?”

He pulled back, removing himself from her completely and discarding his jeans, socks and boxers. Then he rejoined her on the bed, stretching out beside her. It gave Aaron full access to her body, and what a gorgeous body it was. She was thin, sure, but there was enough curve on her that made him drool. Soft skin covered sinewy muscles as she opened her thighs to accommodate him.

Emily’s hands trailed down his back, revelling in the strength she could feel beneath her palms. Aaron wasn’t built like Derek, but he was strong in his own right. He pressed against her, much-needed pressure that she willingly arched against. He really was taking his time and she sighed as his hands brushed down her body, followed by his lips, tongue and teeth.

He set about exploring, pouring his sharp attention into her and blocking out everything around him. He laved his tongue against the spot between her jaw, ear and neck, discovered the hollow of her throat was sensitive and hunted down the erogenous zones above her hip bones. He looked up at her when she made a funny noise as he followed the curve of her hipbone, down towards the juncture of her legs.

“You don’t…” she was bright red and nervous.

Aaron pushed himself up, leaning over her. He kissed her, using his hands and fingers and tongue to distract her. Then, before she had time to think, let alone protest, he shot down her body, spreading her open with his fingers and licking from entrance to clit. He grinned when she arched off the bed.

She was already hot and wet, but the warm slide of his tongue against her sent her spiralling to new heights. It had been a long time since she’d had a lover that focused on her. Many times, she’d been lucky to come out of sex satisfied by one orgasm and here Aaron was, working her up to her second. It didn’t take long, either, but he stopped just as she was teetering on that proverbial edge. Emily groaned in protest as he nuzzled his way up her body, then jerked and came when he thrust into her sharply.

He panted against her neck, feeling her inner muscles clench around his intrusion. She felt good around him, the perfect stretch to hug him without making it painful for her and so hot and wet. Sex with Haley had become routine near the end of their marriage, if they had time for it at all and he savoured the surprised response. He rolled over, bringing her with him without dislodging her, settling Emily on top of his body. With her he wanted to take his time, wanted to see her body tense and her eyes drift shut because of what he’d done.

She mewled as Aaron started pushing against her again. Was he serious? Her entire body was completely shot and from his movements, he expected to get another one out of her. She barely had the effort to raise her head, let alone the muscle strength to do anything. She hissed as he pressed against a tender spot. “You can’t be serious,” she said huskily.

He smiled at her, brushing her hair back from her face. “Once more.”

She groaned. Then his fingers brushed against her clit at the same time he hit that spot inside her. Suddenly she could feel a third orgasm building in her as her hips started rocking against hers. “Aaron,” she managed breathlessly as she moved on him.

“Emily,” he murmured reverently in her ear. He hadn’t been sure if he could get a third climax out of her, but the way she was responding, arching wantonly against him said she could very well finish for a third time. He kissed her deeply, nibbling at her lower lip, groaning into her mouth as she swivelled her hips to increase the friction against her. Aaron could feel himself reaching his own end and settled a hand on her lower back, almost pushing her down as he pushed up.

Emily went first, crying out softly as her entire world narrowed to the feeling of him inside her, but he wasn’t far behind, holding her against him, straining to go as deep as he possibly could. Her blood was rushing in her ears, limiting her sense of hearing, but she could feel the groan vibrate through his chest. She drifted back to herself, lifting her head to see he was dozing beneath her. Emily kissed him softly, watching his eyes flutter open as she pulled away. They didn’t have to say anything as he gave her a pair of his boxer shorts and a t-shirt to slip on, changing the sheets as she hopped in the shower.

He was already in bed when she emerged from the bathroom, one bedside lamp on. She crawled under the sheets, curling up against his side, smiling when Aaron’s hand curled around her back. Emily sighed as she settled in, throwing a leg over his hip. Her eyes fluttered shut as he kissed her brow. She tilted her head up. “That’s one heck of a way to say ‘thank you’.”

He grinned.

 

Aaron woke in the middle of the night, Emily cuddled against him tightly. He’d missed having her against him, missed holding her like he had through her nightmares. The nightmares had been a good excuse to pull her against him and he had to admit, when she’d moved out, he’d found it a little difficult to sleep on some nights. He was used to a body beside him. Originally, it had been Haley and then, Emily, though not exactly by her own choice.

He knew she was struggling with the reality of their relationship. It wasn’t exactly a surprise. There were so many issues with their relationship, so many things that could break them apart, but if there was one thing they were not short on it was attraction to each other. He’d known she cared when she’d been willing to quit rather than whisper in Strauss’ ear. He’d hoped he’d shown how much he cared by coming to see her at the hospital.

Part of him felt like he’d been given a new chance with Emily. She was black to Haley’s white in so many ways and yet, at the same time, they were alike. Both were lithe figured, even after Jack Haley had dropped the baby weight fairly fast, and yet both had so much more strength to them. Haley and Emily were smart women, quick and loving. But that’s about where any likeness stopped.

Emily was witty, joked with him, didn’t order so much as suggest he do something. She understood how important his job was to him and understood that as much as he loved his family, he felt that he was helping them by fighting the real monsters in the world. Emily didn’t push him to talk when something was bothering him, something Haley had often done. She didn’t have to, not because she didn’t want to know but because she already knew what was bothering him. She understood the things that he saw was dark because she knew what it was like to see them.

Aaron often felt like he and Emily worked on the same wavelength. They didn’t do anything as cliché as finishing each other’s sentences, but when they were working, they went about tasks without any sort of prodding and without necessarily having to explain the process by which they were going to do it. They came from the same background, had experienced a lot of the same things and Emily would be able to hold her own at any family function without problems.

She was smart, she was nerdy, she was funny and she got along with Jack like he was her own child. The woman was one of the most compassionate people he knew regardless of what kind of crime she dealt with. It didn’t matter how brutal a murder was, she always found room to be empathetic and sympathize with the families. She knew herself well. She compartmentalized, but she always found time to empty her mind of the things she hated. She spent time with JJ and Garcia on her days off the same way he spent time with Jack. They were ways they dealt with stress.

And now they had each other. Aaron didn’t care about what Strauss would say, didn’t care about what anyone else would say. He hadn’t just jumped on his attraction to her. He’d thought about it, about a relationship with her, while she was staying with him. He trusted her like he didn’t trust anyone else. She was his rock, his saving grace in the blood, murder, rape and gore that they saw all the time. She had been for a while now and she hadn’t seemed to mind all that much. She didn’t pity him for anything, hadn’t asked how the divorce proceedings were going, just left him be. And yet, he’d gone to her when he’d had problems, though those times had been few and far between. Now he would be more than happy to share some of his problems with him.

He froze when she mumbled something, curling tighter into him. He sighed when she settled again and smiled. This was going to work out. He had faith in this and in them. Aaron pressed a soft kiss to Emily’s brow and smiled. Whatever people threw their way he believed he could tackle it all. Especially if Emily was by his side.


	37. Chapter 37

A week later, Emily found herself in the office, counting down the hours until the FBI Christmas party. The entire bullpen was in full Christmas swing thanks to the blond elves of their unit. JJ and Penelope had giggled like virtual schoolgirls as they’d gone about decorating the place and Aaron hadn’t said a word, even though they all knew he disapproved of frivolity in the office.

Flirting text messages didn’t count.

Emily laughed as yet another woman caught Derek under the mistletoe. He actually looked annoyed and she really couldn’t blame him. She’d been very, very careful about where she walked all day and even more careful when she and Aaron were in the same place. The last thing she wanted to deal with was having to kiss Aaron, even if was for tradition under the mistletoe.

“I get I’m a hot commodity, but really. I’m not getting any work done. I’m going to have paperwork when I come back from holidays,” Derek said, shaking his head as he approached.

“Seriously?” Emily asked in disbelief.

“Even a lady’s man has his day,” JJ joked. She’d been working at Emily’s desk with her, deciding it was more fun to spend time with the team than holed up in her lonely office.

Aaron had been called away to a meeting half an hour earlier, and the BAU bullpen had become a room ripe with mischief. Poor Spencer had been caught under springs of mistletoe held over his head and even Morrow had gotten into the spirit. She’d pinned sprigs of holly to her desk and even found a little two-foot Christmas tree for the corner.

“There’s just a line,” Derek contradicted. “This is still an office. I’m all for Christmas, but seriously.”

Emily and JJ laughed again.

Derek raised an eyebrow. “And you two ladies haven’t been caught under the mistletoe.”

The women exchanged a look.

“We’re just smarter,” JJ said with a grin.

“Hey, you were the one that threatened Agent Kent with a ruptured spleen if he so much as brought a loose sprig of mistletoe into the bullpen,” Emily shot back with a grin.

“But I didn’t threaten half of the organized crime department with a bullet to the kneecap if they came within four feet of me,” JJ responded smartly.

Derek watched in utter amusement. “You’re kidding me, right?”

Emily shrugged. “It’s all in good fun, really.”

“Because shooting someone makes for a good time,” Morrow joked with a huge smile. Emily was still the one she felt most comfortable with.

The raven-haired woman waved her hand dismissively. “What’s a bullet between friends?” She almost jumped when she felt a tug on her shirt sleeve. She turned her head only to meet the innocent eyes that reminded her so much of Aaron.

“I haveta go to the bathroom.”

“Uh…” Emily said, still trying to process the fact that Jack Hotchner was standing in the BAU bullpen on a Friday afternoon. She’d known Aaron had planned to bring Jack to meet the team and to participate in the Christmas party, but she hadn’t expected that he’d actually be there before the festivities began. Now that she thought about it, Jack would have had to be at the BAU all day because she couldn’t remember Aaron leaving Quantico.

Her body moved on autopilot as she took Jack’s hand and led the small boy to the bathroom. She’d gotten control of herself by the time he came back out. “Did you wash your hands?”

“Uh huh,” Jack grinned and shook water at her.

Emily laughed as she put her hands up to block the spray, then she took his wet hand in hers. “Have you been here all day?”

“Yup,” Jack replied as he trotted to keep up with her wider steps. “But Daddy had to go.”

It wasn’t like Aaron to just leave Jack unattended, though she’d wondered if something was up when he left the door to his office ajar instead of closing and locking it behind him. “Did Daddy leave you in his office?”

“Uh huh,” Jack answered again with the complete innocence of his six years. “He said you were right outside if I needed anything.”

“Too bad he didn’t tell me,” Emily mumbled to herself as she pulled the bullpen door open. She hoisted Jack into her arms as she made her way back to her desk.

“Who’s the kid?” Derek asked as Emily sat, plunking Jack on her lap and handing him her bright red stress toy.

Aaron had mentioned that Jack hadn’t been in to see the team since he was an infant. She’d seen baby pictures of Jack, his hair had been much lighter as a baby than it was now. He’d lost his baby fat too. “This is Jack,” she said, unable to hide the slight note of pride in her voice.

JJ’s eyebrows rose. “As in Jack Hotchner?”

Jack had looked up at his name, turning to Emily for reassurance when four sets of curious eyes landed on him. Emily read his shy behaviour and gave him an encouraging smile as she gently tickled his side. Jack giggled.

“The one and only,” Emily answered JJ’s question. “Jack, these are Daddy and my fellow monster-fighters.”

Still, Jack’s gaze was shy as he looked up at them all.

Emily wanted to laugh. She sort of understood why she was much easier to get along with than all of these people. For one thing, they’d met on his turf. In Aaron’s kitchen, it was Jack’s world and she was only a visitor. For another, there had only been one of her. Now, surrounding him, there were four new people.

Derek seemed impassive, but Emily knew there was a lot more going on behind those dark eyes. She knew from experience Derek Morgan’s mind rarely shut down. Morrow seemed a little stunned that a child was currently sitting on her colleague’s lap, her bosses child even, and didn’t exactly look like she knew whether to laugh and introduce herself. Reid looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. Emily knew he thought he was cursed when it came to children.

JJ smiled warmly. “Hello Jack,” she said gently. “I’m JJ.”

Jack’s fingers played with the buttons on Emily’s blouse as he looked up at the blond slightly. “That’s two letters.”

Emily grinned at JJ.

“It’s my nickname,” JJ answered kindly. “Do you have a name that people call you that isn’t yours?”

Jack shook his head.

“Yes you do,” Emily said, bouncing him slightly on her legs. “Daddy calls you other names.”

Jack wrinkled his nose. “But I don’t like it when he calls me a little monster.”

JJ burst out laughing.

Emily chuckled too. “He also calls you Buddy, and the Greatest Boy Ever.”

Jack looked at Emily like she was talking a foreign language. “Daddy’s never said the last one.”

She looked suitably chastised. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” But it had effectively put Jack at ease with at least JJ. The rest of them would come over time.

“What’s your real name?” Jack asked, looking up at JJ curiously.

“Jennifer,” she responded. “JJ is the first initial of my first name and my last name. Jennifer Jareau.”

“Oh,” Jack answered. “Do you fight monsters too Miss Jenny?”

JJ almost melted. “There’s no miss,” she instructed him. “And I try.”

“Like Daddy and Miss Em’ly?” Jack asked.

“Almost,” JJ replied. “I talk to the police and the news to try and make sure that we don’t do something that’s going to make the monster do more bad things.”

Jack seemed to consider this for a moment. “Is that what Daddy does?”

“Daddy helps find the monsters,” Emily answered. “JJ makes sure we get help tofind the monsters.”

“Oh.” Then his eyes were drawn to the glass doors as they opened again. He didn’t recognize the blond woman that came in, arms fully of papers and files.

“Delivery!” Penelope said happily. Then she caught sight of Jack. “Who is this adorable guest?”

“You have a funny hat,” Jack said giggling.

Penelope grinned. “You like?” she asked.

“It’s funny,” Jack repeated through his giggles.

Penelope shook her head so the bells on her elf had jingled merrily. “But every elf wears a funny hat,” she replied with a wide smile. “Didn’t Mommy or Daddy ever dress up as an elf?”

Jack shook his head, still laughing.

Emily tickled him, making him laugh harder. “But you have a Santa hat,” she pointed out.

Jack’s eyes lit up. “I brought it!”

“And you aren’t wearing it?” Penelope gasped. “It’s Christmas!”

Obediently, Jack hopped off of Emily’s lap and made his way up the stairs to Aaron’s office. Emily knew all eyes were now on her. JJ and Penelope had known that she’d previously met Jack and though Derek had been observant enough to put two and two together, Jack hadn’t really crossed his mind.

“I told you,” JJ said with a grin.

“Oh please,” Emily scoffed, keeping her eye on the open door. “Jack’s not that difficult to get along with.”

“He adores you,” Penelope gushed, leaning against Derek’s desk. “You can see it.”

Emily was blushing as Jack came racing back. She winced as he took a tumble down the last stairs, but he seemed to right himself no problem, red felt grasped in his hand. She rested her arms on the arms of the chair as Jack climbed back into her lap and plunked the hat on her head. “I thought the hat was for you,” she said.

Jack held up another hat, one she hadn’t seen him put on her desk. “I have one too!”

Emily heard JJ giggling behind her as she adjusted the hat on her head. “I see that.”

“Hey Jack,” Penelope said. “I’ve got Christmas movies on my computer. Do you want to come pick one to watch?”

Jack looked up at Emily, the closest thing he had to a parent and the person Daddy had told him to listen to. The elf lady didn’t seem so bad and if Emily said he could go, well, what kid in his right mind was going to turn down a chance to watch a movie?

“Go on. I’ll tell Daddy when he gets back,” Emily said. “But make sure you listen to Penelope, okay? Her computers are important to her.”

Jack nodded solemnly, taking Miss Penelope’s hand. When they reached the doors he suddenly turned back. “You haveta wear your hat, okay?” he told Emily seriously. “A’cause it’s Christmas.”

Emily smiled as she turned back to her work, the Santa hat perched jauntily on her head.

“Damn girl, next thing we know you’re going to have a rock on your finger,” Derek teased shaking his head.

The raven-haired woman blushed, chancing a glance at Morrow. It didn’t surprise her that Derek had assumed she and Aaron were in a relationship, but they’d never discussed anything that personal with her around. As much as she hated to think about it, it felt a lot like they were about to give Morrow her very first serious test. If the news got back to Strauss it was a given that Aaron would be fired. “I think that’s a long way off yet,” she deflected.

“That’s Agent Hotchner’s son?” Morrow asked, pointed at the doors.

“Yes,” Emily answered.

“Wow,” Morrow said, leaning back in her chair. “If it wasn’t for the hair colour…”

“And eyes,” Emily admitted. “They have the same eyes.”

Morrow smiled. “He’s adorable.” If she was honest with herself, Prentiss was the one person that she felt true attachment to. Prentiss had been the one from the beginning to accept her and Morrow understood it was because, in a way, Prentiss saw herself in the young agent. Morrow wasn’t naïve, though she played it well and for the most part, understood the team’s apprehension. Prentiss had made it perfectly clear that there were no in betweens in their unit and if she wasn’t going to play by their rules, she wasn’t going to play at all.

Morrow enjoyed the team and their dynamics, but Prentiss was the only one she’d consider a friend. She’d wondered if Agent Hotchner and Prentiss were more than colleagues, but since she considered Prentiss a friend, the story wasn’t one that she was about to tell Strauss, period. The fact that it didn’t seem to affect team dynamics went a long way in soothing her conscience about not reporting fraternization up the chain of command. In fact, there had been a few cases when Hotchner had seemed at the end of his rope and Emily had pulled him aside for a few moments and he came back a little calmer.

“He is,” Emily agreed with a warm smile. Morrow had worked out better than even she’d anticipated, even if the rest of the team wasn’t as welcoming. If Morrow kept her mouth shut about this, Emily had a feeling the team would be a little more trustworthy. She picked up her cell phone, remembering she meant to scold Aaron about not mentioning Jack.

He didn’t take long to respond, a little bit to her surprise. _I’m so sorry, I guess I got focused and forgot._

 _About your son. Good job._ She hoped he knew she was teasing. She didn’t mind watching Jack, it just would have been nice to get a little bit of warning.

_Is he okay?_

_He’s with Garcia watching a movie,_ Emily typed back.

_Thank you._

_He’s here early._

_He’s off school. I didn’t think I’d make it to Haley’s to pick him up before the party._

It sounded logical enough for her. _Do you know how long the meeting is going to last? The children’s party starts in an hour._

When the next message beeped through, she could almost tell he was annoyed with the meeting as it was. _No._

It was natural for her to type the next words. _I’ll take him if you’re not back._

_I’m sorry._

Their job was just like that, so she didn’t resent him. Sometimes she did worry, but there had been many a-weekend Jack and Aaron had spent time together without her so she didn’t think he was taking advantage of her in the slightest. _I take no responsibility for what happens if you can’t make it to the party though._

_I’ll see you later._

Emily smiled and turned back to her papers.


	38. Chapter 38

Jack looked very at home in Penelope’s office, his short legs dangling over the edge of the chair. Emily smiled as she leaned against the doorway. Penelope was working on something else on three other screens while Jack watched his movie. She knocked gently and both occupants of the room turned to look. Emily smiled as Jack hopped down off his chair to come hug her leg.

“You ready for the Christmas party?” she asked tugging playfully on the Santa hat he was still wearing.

The little head nodded enthusiastically. “Where’s Daddy?”

“He’s still in his meeting.” And if Aaron was still in his meeting when the adult party started, she was going to be more than angry. Sure, the FBI enjoyed their business, but Christmas was a time for fun too.

“Oh,” Jack said, looking upset. “But I can’t go by myself.”

“No, no you can’t,” Emily agreed. “What do you think if I take you down to the children’s party?”

For six years old, Jack had a pretty thorough understanding of what his Daddy’s job meant. He spent more time with Mommy because Daddy worked a lot, but Jack also knew that didn’t mean Daddy loved him any less. They’d spent the previous weekend at the park and Daddy had even taken him to see the dinosaurs. So he smiled up at her. “Okay.”

Emily hoisted Jack into her arms. It was just easier to carry him sometimes than it was to slow her pace so he wasn’t running to keep up. “Did you say thank you to Penelope?”

Jack turned to the blond techie. “Thank you Miss Penny.”

Penelope grinned shaking her head. “No ‘miss’,” she scolded him playfully. “Does he do that to you?”

The latter question was directed at Emily and she grinned as she nodded. “Since the day I met him. No matter what I do I can’t get him to drop the ‘miss’. And I’ve tried pretty much everything.”

Penelope shook her head. “It’s endearing, but really! I’m not old enough to be a ‘miss’.”

“Did you have fun?” Emily asked Jack.

The boy was clutching one of Penelope’s figurines in his hands. He started nodding frantically. “Miss Penny showed me funny pictures. There’s even one of Daddy and Mommy!”

Emily winced. “The yearbook pictures?”

“I’m just trying to show him what true genius looks like,” Penelope defended innocently.

“Didn’t we promise to bury those pictures?”

“Peaches, just be glad I kept the one of our resident hottie in chaps under wraps.”

“And scar the six-year-old? I’m never leaving him with you again.”

Penelope stuck out her tongue.

“Miss Penny! You’re not supposed to stick your tongue out at people!” Jack scolded even as he burst into laughter.

“Emily and I are the only ones allowed to stick our tongues out and we’re only allowed to stick them out at each other,” Penelope explained logically. “No one else can stick their tongue out at anybody.”

Jack seemed to accept that. He waved at Penelope over Emily’s shoulder as she carried him out of the room.

 

Jack looked around at the children scattered about the many stations of the room and clung tighter to Miss Emily’s neck. He didn’t do well in large crowds of people he didn’t know. There were too many strangers in the room, even if most of them were kids like him and he was very, very nervous. Miss Emily was warm safety.

“Agent Prentiss! I didn’t know you had a son.”

Jack hid his head in Miss Emily’s neck as a woman came up to greet them. He felt Miss Emily shift her hold on him and clung tighter.

“I don’t,” he heard, well, felt and heard, Miss Emily say. “This is Jack Hotchner.”

Jack peeked out from under his arm to find a redheaded woman.

“Well aren’t you adorable! I’m Vicky.”

That didn’t help, and it certainly didn’t make him want to leave the safety of Miss Emily any time soon.

“Why don’t you come make a Christmas card? I see you already have a Santa hat,” Miss Vicky suggested.

Jack felt another shift, then his feet touched the ground. He shifted his grip to Miss Emily’s pant leg and grasped it in his fist. He heard Miss Emily sigh, then she crouched down to his level. “What’s wrong, Buddy?”

Jack leaned against her and looked down, chewing on his lip. Miss Emily ran a hand through his hair. He loved it when she did that.

“There’s other things to do,” Miss Vicky suggested. “You could make an ornament or decorate a gingerbread man.”

“I don’t like gingerbread,” Jack said quietly.

“But you like decorating the tree,” Miss Emily pointed out. “I know you and Daddy decorated a really nice one last weekend.”

Oh, he’d forgotten about that. He and Daddy had gone tree hunting and then decorated it. It was his first real tree. Mommy never liked how the needles always fell on the floor. He liked how Daddy’s tree didn’t match like Mommy’s did. Mommy’s tree was pretty, but Daddy’s tree meant more. Daddy had told him stories about almost every ornament they put on the tree.

“I have an idea,” Miss Emily said, a smile on her face. “Why don’t you make a new ornament for your tree? Then you’ll have your own special thing to hang on it every year.”

He really liked that idea. But he didn’t like the idea of being left alone in the room and he knew Miss Emily had to go back to her desk and then to the grown-ups party. Which would mean he’d be left all alone with kids he didn’t know. He felt Miss Emily kiss the side of his head.

“We’re not going to be far and we’re not going to leave you here,” she said softly. “Daddy’s going to come and get you in about two hours.”

“How long is that?” Jack asked. He’d only just learned to tell time.

“At seven o’clock,” Miss Emily answered. “Which is…?”

“When the big hand’s at the 12 and the little hand’s at the 7,” Jack responded proudly. He laughed when Miss Emily tickled his belly.

“That’s right! So you go make a decoration, ice a gingerbread man for me, and before you realize it, Daddy will be here to get you.”

That actually sounded kind of okay. “Okay,” he agreed. He took Miss Vicky’s outstretched hand and let her lead him to a table filled with glitter, glue and construction paper.

 

Aaron caught up to Emily when the party was already in full swing. She was chatting away with a woman from cyber crimes, her hands around a cup. Aaron smiled at the woman and politely excused them both. “Jack?”

“Safely decorating something,” she answered. “You could have told me you were bringing him in.”

“It was kind of a last minute,” he admitted. “I didn’t see the point of leaving him with Mildred and I knew Haley wouldn’t want to bring him out here…”

“He spent most of his afternoon with Garcia and her computers. Which reminds me, I take no responsibility for what pictures he may have seen while he was there. Garcia said something about yearbook pictures.”

Aaron made a mental note to have a discussion with the analyst about what kind of things to show his son. “Thank you for dropping him off.”

“Sometimes I forget Jack can be so shy,” she said shaking her head affectionately.

Aaron smiled as JJ approached. “He’s not good with lots of strangers.”

“Glad they let you out of prison to join us,” JJ greeted. She was much more laid back when work wasn’t involved, even with their boss. It came with the family oriented ways of the team.

“Me too.” For his part, Aaron enjoyed seeing his team at ease. They worked so hard on a daily basis that he was always looking and hoping to find ways to alleviate some of the stress without really looking like he was doing it. Luckily, there was often a statutory holiday that meant they all go the day off.

“Jack is a fantastic kid,” JJ complimented. “He poked his head out of your office this afternoon.”

Aaron smiled, as he always did when talking about his son. The boy was his pride and joy and anyone who knew him knew that. “Thanks JJ.”

JJ hadn’t really come over for a chat. She’d seen Hotch pull Emily away and, with top brass floating around, worried about the two of them talking together. Everyone in the office saw Hotch as stoic and untouchable. Even if the team knew otherwise, it wouldn’t do any good to have the two of them chatting alone in a corner. She didn’t want the careless action to put any member of the team in the hot seat with Strauss.

“Hey Hotch! Graham and I are having a debate here. The case you had with the Indian symbols…”

“Native American, Joe,” Aaron corrected as he made his way over.

JJ was glad for the moment with Emily. “You guys might want to be careful.”

“I know,” Emily sighed. She’d been a little apprehensive when Aaron had pulled her out of her conversation, but relaxed a bit when he’d started asking about Jack. That was a logical thing other agents didn’t need to start spreading around Quantico. Her mind had been so focused on how relieved she was that he wasn’t asking about Jack in front of another agent that the way they looked talking quietly together had completely slipped her mind. “Thanks.”

JJ smiled. “Just protecting our own.”

Emily chuckled. “We do that well,” she agreed.

The blond moved to stand beside her friend, taking in the room. “I like Christmas.”

Emily grinned, watching the teams and departments mingle together. She liked the opportunity. She didn’t have many friends within the Quantico Bureau, but she enjoyed seeing so many other people meeting up with friends from other places. Derek was having an animated discussion with people she recognized from the bomb squad. Penelope looked perfectly at home with a Reid-look-alike, probably debating the finer points of a good operating system. She turned to JJ when she heard the woman sigh.

“I’m off to rescue Spence,” she said, affection shining in her voice.

Emily raised an eyebrow, her insinuation obvious. “Go get ‘em, Tiger.”

“Cute,” JJ responded glaring in mock anger.

Emily chuckled as the other woman walked off. Someday, those two would get up the courage to just get it done and over with. Maybe it would simply release sexual tension and they’d never have to deal with it again, maybe it would result in the greatest thing since sliced bread, either way, Emily was sure both of her peers would come out all the better for it.

“Who in their right minds is going to leave a beautiful woman like you all by herself?”

Seriously? Nevertheless, Emily turned to look at the speaker. She had to admit, no recognition flashed across her brain, but that really didn’t surprise her.

“Greg Markus, white-collar.”

Ew, ew, ,and holy ew. She’d almost shot Aaron when she’d discovered Haley had been on the brink of convincing him to transfer to that unit. Nevertheless, she pasted on a smile and shook the offered hand. “Emily Prentiss.”

“No department?”

“BAU.”

Markus whistled. “Impressive.”

Most people Emily knew didn’t really think so, but then again, most of them preferred the empty-headed trophy wife to her always analytical mind. “I get by.”

“And apparently not on looks alone. BAU isn’t for just anybody.”

Her smile was society polite. “It’s always a challenge.”

“Matthew’s team?”

Emily resisted the urge to arch an eyebrow when he named the unit chief of D-Team. Apparently he thought she was a spring chicken. Or maybe simply not up to A-Team snuff. It was common knowledge that the units were designated by their successes. “Hotchner’s.” Part of her hoped that was intimidating enough to make him back off.

Apparently he’d already consumed one too many eggnogs. “Gorgeous and brilliant.”

The compliments didn’t faze her. In fact, his drunken attention worried her.

“Hey Em!”

God bless Derek Morgan.

“C’mere a sec. We’ve got an international question for you.”

She’d answer his most mundane question if it meant getting her out of the situation. There was a reason she’d threatened the organized crime department earlier that week. Much to her dismay, even with a smile and soft excuse me, Markus followed her. Emily rolled her eyes at Derek apologetically before holding up a finger indicating to him to hang on a second. Then she turned to Markus. “Look, Agent Markus…”

He leaned down and kissed her. 


	39. Chapter 39

She shoved him away.

Her fist came up to hit his jaw. Hard.

People turned to stare.

“It was just mistletoe,” Markus defended, picking himself up off the ground, rubbing his face.

Emily could feel Aaron’s eyes on her, even as she knew Derek was coming up on her left side. She glanced up. Sure enough, there was the offending plant, hanging innocently from the ceiling. She glared at it.

“The rule is to warn the girl,” the African-American argued, still staying half a step behind Emily’s shoulder. Emily was more than capable of taking care of herself and he knew it. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be there if anything else went awry. “And I believe in the office there’s rules against just planting one on the other person.”

She understood he was giving her time to compose herself. That had been the last thing she’d expected.

“I figured it was fair, since she came on to me and all.”

“I… What?” Emily was floored.

Markus grinned, holding out his hands. “Please, you were flirting with me.”

“If short answers and polite smiles are flirting,” Emily responded sharply. It had set her off kilter, more so than she’d like to admit. Insecurities warred in her mind. She was thankful to feel Aaron’s reassuring presence approach though he didn’t say or do anything more than just stand there. It was comforting nonetheless.

“You want me,” Markus shot back, grinning like the cocky bastard he was.

Or at least he most certainly met that criteria in Emily’s mind. “Like I want polio.”

“Oh come on, honey, denial isn’t attractive.” He took a step towards her.

Derek echoed the step, coming to stand right beside Emily. “This is sexual harassment. And in public no less.”

Someone clearing their throat caught everyone’s attention. Strauss stood there, along with her counter parts for organized crime and white collar. “Is there a problem?”

Markus immediately raised his hands. “Just mistletoe.”

“Just mistletoe? Greg, that’s the third time I’ve heard your name and sexual harassment in the last three months. I think it’s about time you lay off the eggnog.”

Markus’ superior, James Chip, had been one of the first people she’d met when she started at Quantico. They often came in at the same time. He was her ‘elevator buddy’, though neither of them would admit that. It was five minutes out of their day, so it really wasn’t worth mentioning. She nodded to him politely.

He returned the nod. “Come on, Greg. Let’s get you sobered up.”

Emily watched Markus walk away before turning to Derek and Aaron, the rest of the team gathered behind her. Her smile was bright. The punch had gone a long way to healing her outrage. “I’m good.”

Aaron nodded once. He wanted to grab her and do the same, the possessive nature in him rising up to scream in his head. She was _his_ no one else’s. It was why an itty bitty of the rational part of him wanted to just kiss her and broadcast it to the world. But Emily’s reputation would be irreparably damaged and he wasn’t quite ready to take that kind of painful responsibility. “I’ve got to get Jack.”

She looked up at him, understanding in a glance all that was going on. She nodded her agreement, trying to keep her own welling emotions under wraps. “Sure.”

Derek rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Remind me never to get on your bad side,” he requested with a warm smile. “You have one hell of a right hook.”

 

Emily had left the room as soon as her colleagues were sure she was perfectly fine. And she was. She’d been set off kilter with the kiss, but it hadn’t taken her long to get herself back under control. It was Aaron’s reaction she was worried about. She knew _she_ wasn’t in trouble. Aaron trusted her implicitly so she knew he didn’t blame her in any way for what had happened. That didn’t mean she didn’t worry about what he may do to Markus.

The conference room in their bullpen was, thankfully, unlocked, not that it was ever sealed. She took the opportunity to take a breather, to try and rationalize herself through whatever issues Aaron was probably addressing in his head. She curled up on the couch against the window, looking out onto the snow-covered Quantico grounds.

With Jack around, there was no way the man was going to create any kind of scene. However, there was no guarantee he wasn’t going to hunt Markus’ drunk ass down and give him the beating Emily very much wanted to. It wasn’t that it was the first time she’d been kissed against her will, but it was certainly the first time she’d be theoretically able to do anything about it. Aaron was just chivalrous like that.

And he protected his own like a mother Grizzly Bear protected her cubs. Most of the time it was arousing to see him do such a thing. Sometimes the feminist in her kicked in and she found it a little irritating. Other times it was simply helpful. But he was smart about it. Part of Emily was seriously worried he’d hunt Markus down, but the bigger more rational part of her knew that the chances of that were rare. Aaron wouldn’t want to have to fuss about something like that going on his record should anyone find out. Even if he could threaten to make Markus disappear. He had that kind of power.

Emily closed her eyes. With Jack and her own growing feelings, this seemed a little bit more traumatic than she knew it probably should be. She’d already rationalized herself out of worrying about whether or not he was going to be mad at her and that was really the most important part. But she worried about him too, not necessarily because she thought he was going to do something stupid, but because stupid could be rationalized in different ways by different people.

She sighed as her phone beeped at her. She’d completely forgotten it was in her pocket. _Where are you?_

 _Sequestered._ She wanted time, she wanted a little bit of space, a moment to gather herself before facing whatever Aaron was going to throw at her.

_If you’re not back in 20 minutes, I’m coming to find you._

She could deal with that.

 

With Jack happily watching Reid perform magic trick upon magic trick, Aaron took the opportunity to profile his favourite member of their team. She had been gone the twenty minutes he’d allotted her and so he was starting to worry a little bit. Emily didn’t really have any ‘safe spaces’ within the Bureau other than the bullpen, so he made his way through the winding halls. She wasn’t at her desk, which didn’t really come as a surprise to him. That would be too obvious. He knew his door was locked and so was Gideon’s old office next door.

Which meant she was probably in the conference room. He opened the door slowly, unsurprised to find her curled up in a corner of the couch. It was only when she was being professional that Emily chose to sit properly. She preferred to curl up with her legs under her. Since her legs were curled to her chest, Aaron knew something was up.

He cleared his throat and knocked on the door to get her attention.

“Hey,” she greeted with a gentle smile.

“Everything okay?”

Emily shifted, pushing herself up to stand. “You tell me.”

He leaned against the table. “We’re okay.”

“I assumed that,” she replied calmly, taking a few steps closer. She watched Aaron look down at his feet, then back up to her.

“It was bound to happen sometime. You’re a beautiful women, most people here believe you to be single…” He echoed her steps until they were almost touching

“I know.” She took a deep breath. “We still can’t say anything.”

“We can’t,” he agreed with a small nod.

Emily sighed, giving up all pretences and wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. “I hate having to deal with it.”

Aaron nodded hugging her tight, taking comfort from the contact. “We have to come up with a better idea.”

 

“I have an idea,” Chris said after Emily had detailed her problem on the phone later that night.

Emily knew that scheming tone. “Is it plausible?”

“Of course it is. Listen, remember when I first started seeing Charlie? How because her parents had everything against politics we had to keep it a secret?”

“Her parents kept trying to set her up,” Emily remembered. “But what does that have to do with anything?”

“What did we do to keep her parents off of her back until we could come up with a way to tell them?” Chris inquired innocently.

Emily grinned. “You made it look like she had a secret admirer.”

“Exactly. Her parents stopped setting her up after that.”

Emily snatched a nearby pen and paper. “What did you do?”

“The usual. I sent her flowers, set up a free e-mail account with a fake name to send her little letters… We just made sure that my name was never on anything. If I remember right there was even once when she was supposed to go out with her parents for breakfast and she pretended to be absolutely exhausted from a fantastic date with this ‘guy of her dreams’.”

Emily laughed. It was so her brother. “You are my hero.”

“Always have been,” Chris replied cheekily.

“And at this rate always will be. I’ll tell you how it goes.” She could hear Chris’ grin through the phone.

“You do that.”


	40. Chapter 40

Aaron preferred quiet Christmases. Haley had dropped off Jack that day at noon, and he’d return the six-year-old tomorrow around the same time. He and Jack were sitting on the couch at home, Sean in the kitchen whipping up some kind of spectacular dinner, like he had years prior. When Aaron reflected on things, he realized he should have known Sean would have done much better in the kitchen than he ever could behind the desk.

“Aaron, can you give me a hand?”

Father and son traded glances. No one was allowed in the kitchen while Sean was cooking. Ever. “Sure.” He made his way into the other room, his mouth starting to water at the smells assaulting his nose.

Sean looked up at his brother. “Good. Stand there and tell me about Emily.”

He’d known Sean hadn’t wanted his help. “What do you want to know?”

“What is there to know? I know she’s Ambassador Prentiss’ daughter, I know that she’s drop dead gorgeous, but where did you meet her? How did things come about? Last I heard you weren’t even dating after Haley up and left.”

Sometimes Sean could be insensitive, like he had been with the comment about Haley. “We met through the FBI.”

Sean looked up and nodded once. “You met at the FBI, got it. Where?”

“BAU.”

Sean put two and two together faster than his parents ever would. “She works under you? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I like it.” Why Sean had to hit on their biggest bone Aaron would never know.

“She mind? I mean, it is going to be her reputation that gets slaughtered, right?”

Aaron sighed. “We didn’t just meet and that was it. I was married when we met.”

Sean raised an eyebrow.

“I never cheated on Haley.”

“Duh, that doesn’t mean when the marriage fell apart you didn’t start looking elsewhere for companionship.”

Aaron puffed out a breath of air. “Look, Sean, Emily is beautiful, she’s smart, she’s funny, she’s-“

“A dream come true, I get it. You still haven’t made me feel better about the whole boss-subordinate thing.” Sean knew the last thing his brother wanted to do was give up his job. The FBI had a fairly strict no fraternization policy and Sean knew the department chief had it out for his older brother. He figured she wouldn’t take well to the idea that he was breaking solid rules.

“We’ve been able to keep it out of the office.”

Sean raised an eyebrow. “And away on cases?”

“The team already knows. They’re okay with it.”

Younger brother turned to older brother, reading apprehension in posture and eyes. “Look, Aaron, I’m not looking to ruing things between you,” he said honestly. “This is the happiest I’ve seen you since you and Haley started having problems. Serious problems. I’m just trying to get a handle on the situation and I’m giving you an out here. I don’t know the woman, but I do know you. I know your team respects you completely, but I’m probably one of the few people in this world who is going to look at this with your best interests in mind.”

He made a very good point and Aaron knew it. He ran a hand through his hair. This could be his one opportunity to lay it all out on the table, the entire relationship from day one. He had to take the opportunity, didn’t he?

“She came to the unit as a replacement for an agent we’d lost.”

“As in died?”

“No. She left the FBI. I don’t think I really recognized her, not that it mattered at the time. Then Haley asked me to leave the BAU.”

“And you almost did,” Sean said, turning back to his cooking, still listening. “I remember that.”

“And Emily quit.”

“Why?”

“Strauss, the department chief, put her on my unit to gather dirt on me. Between Elle’s shooting of a suspect in cold blood and Reid’s drug addiction, not to mention Gideon’s break down, she had a lot to talk about.”

“But she quit.”

“But she quit,” Aaron parroted. “And I knew something was there.”

“On both sides?”

“I still had Haley.”

“But things were falling apart,” Sean reminded him.

Aaron sighed. “No. Emily became… a friend. I trusted her because I knew she’d once tried to give up something she loved so much because she knew how important the BAU was to me.”

“Even if you’ve been there a bit too long,” his younger brother reminded him. “What changed?”

“I don’t know,” Aaron said honestly. “One second she was a fantastic confidante and the next she was always in my head.”

Sean, the corner of his eye on the stove, watched his brother. It wasn’t often Aaron opened up. Life with their parents didn’t exactly breed honesty. Nevertheless, the brothers had developed an unwritten code of sorts and Sean knew that Aaron being honest, sharing the deepest bones of his thoughts was something that he did with very few people. He made a mental note to ask if Emily knew about some of his deepest fears.

“And then she was stabbed.”

“I heard that through the grapevine.” In other words, his mother had been beside herself with perfectly formed grief and called her son.

“She was in the hospital, the one place I never thought I’d ever see her,” Aaron continued, his eyes glazing over as he reflected on those moments. “Emily isn’t one to be weak. She’s a pillar of absolute strength even in the worst of cases, but she looked fragile in that hospital bed. I guess that was when I knew she was more than a friend.”

“Then what happened?” Sean asked, waving a hand in front of Aaron’s face. The last thing Sean wanted was for Aaron to lose himself in dark despair and the way he was going, that was going to be the nasty end.

“The doctors didn’t want her by herself while she healed and she didn’t want to stay with her mother. Plus, I have the spare bedroom...”

“She stayed here,” Sean interrupted. “I get it.”

“For five months. And we didn’t do anything.”

“You didn’t?”

“Nothing inappropriate. It was… it was nice. Nice to have someone to come home to for a change, someone who knew the kinds of things I see at work and didn’t ask about them.”

“Someone who understands who you are is largely based on what you do.”

It sounded bad when spoken like that, but Aaron nodded. “I could talk to her about the cases, I could talk to her about the child molesters and perverted sadists and I didn’t feel like I was corrupting a beautiful mind.”

“Because the job had already done it,” Sean agreed. “When did you start the whole relationship part.”

“The day I took her home. She moved back into her apartment the week before her evaluations. I stayed the weekend.”

“Good for you!”

“Not like that,” Aaron said with a roll of his eyes.

“And now…”

“Now we’ve been dating for five months. Jack adores her, I enjoy her company, her intellect…”

“She’s beautiful, you love her, who are you and what the hell have you done with Aaron Hotchner?”

But Aaron couldn’t seem to open his mouth to answer his brother’s question. Love? Really? Was he in love with Emily Prentiss? Love was a big word to attach to emotion, one that was terrifying. He and Emily hadn’t even talked about anything like that. Of course, he admitted that most of the conveying of emotion was done through actions, but that didn’t mean that the other one didn’t understand. They read behaviour for a living and they knew each other’s better than anyone else.

Could he be in love with her after only five months? _Ten_ , his mind whispered to him mutinously. Because really, hadn’t the first five months been essentially the same thing without the physical aspect? Hadn’t they shared the same bed, snuggled during a movie, cooked each other meals and just generally enjoyed each other’s company? And how long had it been that he’d watched her just that little bit closer than the rest of his agents, that he worried about her just that little bit more?

“Suck it up and admit it to yourself. I could see it at Thanksgiving. If it makes you feel any better, she’s head over heels for you too,” Sean offered.

How had he not seen it? Sure, he wasn’t looking for it, but he knew that the most expressive parts of Emily were her face, her eyes and her hands. How had he missed it? He made a mental note to watch for those signs the next time they were together. “Sean-“

“Do you miss her when she’s not around?”

Aaron wasn’t sure he was going to enjoy this particular line of questioning. “Yes.”

“Do you get all protective watching her and Jack?”

Sometimes just watching her in the office and definitely watching her out in the field. “Yes.”

“You already said she understands you better than Haley did, you’ve already said she’d quit for you, so I’d say with that one, she’s already in love with you… You braved the Prentiss shindig at Thanksgiving and I know you hate social engagements with the parents,” Sean listed off. “Do you worry about her all the time?”

“Yes.”

“Even when you know she’s more than capable of taking care of herself?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to sweep her off her feet to some beach resort so you can relax and spend time together? Hypothetically speaking, I guess, since I know you won’t leave work.”

“Neither would she,” Aaron defended.

Sean took that as a ‘yes’. “My tally says love, bro.”

“Your tally’s been inhaling too many spicy fumes,” Aaron returned. His armour had been picked at and now he had a lot to think about.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t open to the idea of loving Emily. On the contrary, it sounded like a perfectly good idea to him. What bothered him was everything that came with loving her. They’d made it through many a-case without a hitch and he knew they’d probably found a pretty good balance, barring any ridiculously terrible cases. And there wasn’t any guarantee that either of them would want to be in the BAU if their relationship took the next step.

It wasn’t an ‘if’. It was a ‘when’. He’d made the decision to count kissing her as an excellent decision with the idea of a future in mind. Not any sort of clear picture that came with love at first sight, but with the murky idea that there would be something waiting there for them if they were willing to take that first big leap. And he’s been handsomely rewarded for making that choice. Emily didn’t hide much of her personality from the team. She was who she was without any sort of flourishes or covered flaws. So there was no worries about getting to know her when he made his leap.

She’d been a little bit slower to do so. Not to confide in him, that would be a useless struggle both because he was a behaviouralist, but also because they were well past that point in their friendship. For her to hide things would be uncharacteristic and more like taking a step backwards than taking one forwards. She had been slightly slower in making that jump. She’d let him spend the weekend – heck, _invited_ him to spend the weekend - agreed to the date with him, gone on the date with him, and then spilled the beans about not being sure. Eventually she’d made the decision he’d hoped for, but originally, she hadn’t been so sure.

And she’d been the one to bring up the issues with work, with the team, with the cases. He assumed it was her spectacular ability to compartmentalize, to shove her emotional response aside for rationality, though at the time all he’d been concerned with was getting her to agree. They’d lived together, for goodness sakes, he’d held her through nightmares and helped her wash her hair. There wasn’t much they didn’t know about each other by that point. They were in a romantic relationship without the labels. And the kissing. Oh, and the fantastic sex.

But that wasn’t the point. Everything with Emily was always different. Every date, every outing, every moment she spent with Jack he always saw something different. It was an odd concept. Every time he thought he had every nuance of her figured out, she went and did something that poked a hole in the box and he had to re-think his original approach. He liked that about her. He like that a lot.

Then there was the whole Jack thing. Aaron remembered Reid once spouting off information about how men, when they reach a certain time in their lives, look for women who they know are going to be good with children. If that was true, then maybe he was utterly in love with Emily. She watched and nurtured Jack like he was her own child, even though he wasn’t. And Jack had taken to her like a fly to honey because Emily, like Aaron, didn’t believe in lying to him. When he asked about their jobs, she gave him a watered down version of the real answer. And Jack rarely got angry when she told him there were some things he just couldn’t know until he was older. He had the utmost faith that she’d make more than a fantastic mother to some lucky kid someday.

And part of him screamed that he hoped that lucky kid was half him and half her.

“That love thing is looking more and more appealing now, isn’t it?” Sean asked with a knowing smile.

Aaron felt slightly like he’d been sucker punched. 


	41. Chapter 41

There was something to be said about curling up in front of cheesy Christmas specials with a mug of something warm. It was how Emily almost preferred to spend Christmas day. She loved Chris and Charlotte, but that time to herself was always what she needed. Plus, she, her father and Chris always went for a walk on the night of Christmas Day, when most people still had their Christmas decorations up. It was their version of family time.

Emily smiled as the credits for the original Grinch passed over the screen. It always reminded her that there were frivolous things in the world and not everything came down to a gun or a knife. She liked to think that the Grinch was proof that people could be changed by one good hand. The phone startled her out of her reflections.

“Prentiss residence.”

“Merry Christmas.”

Emily felt like a school girl when the smile spread across her face. “Merry Christmas to you too. Did you boys have fun last night?”

“Sean definitely made the right choice in becoming a chef.”

“I’m glad.”

“What are your plans today?”

“Not much,” she admitted. “I spend the day lounging around. Dad and Chris are coming over later and we’re going to hit the town. Maybe Charlotte will come this year too.” Charlie hated the cold and so she often holed up in Emily’s apartment with the refreshments for when they returned. Emily didn’t mind. She quite enjoyed the company of her sister-in-law and she and Chris had agreed that until they had their first little one, tradition said the walk ended at her place.

“Open schedule?”

“I think I can make some time for you, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I won’t infringe on family time, but I do have your Christmas present.”

Emily laughed. “I have yours.”

“I wondered why it wasn’t lying under my tree like Jack’s was. I was a little jealous.”

She laughed again. “I wanted to see the look on your face when you opened it. I was pretty sure Jack was going to like his gift.”

“I’ll come by after I drop Jack off with Haley.”

“Sounds good,” she said warmly.

 

Emily actually had two gifts for Aaron. She had his actual Christmas gift, which was nothing particularly special, but it was the little jewellery box that had Emily’s heart in her throat. She’d debated weeks upon weeks as to whether or not to give him such a personal present. She’d actually drawn up a pro-con list about it.

Eventually, logic and the pros outweighed any negative reaction she could quite possibly get. She didn’t mean to pressure him, it just seemed perfectly rational, especially for where their relationship was going and where she saw said relationship another five years down the road.

The knock on the door reminded her of how much easier her gift would make things.

He greeted her with a warm hug and a thorough kiss. “You look beautiful.”

Emily glanced down at herself, then looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “I look like I’ve been lounging around my apartment all day.”

“You make lounging look good,” he shot back. And she did. The yoga pants were comfortable, but hugged her hips and the long-sleeved t-shirt was cut in the v-shape he knew accentuated her cleavage. She wore thick socks on her feet.

“You don’t have to compliment me, you know. You’ve already gotten in my pants.”

“But I want to,” he responded, kissing her again. “And is it still a compliment if it’s the truth?”

Emily narrowed her eyes. Sure, he wasn’t stingy on the compliments, but it just seemed this time like he was laying it on a little thick. “Okay, who are you and where the hell is my Aaron?”

Aaron tried not to shiver at her unintentional possessive. It was true, but it was still a thrill. “It’s Christmas.”

“I know that. The loonies don’t come out until tomorrow.”

“So I can’t compliment you?”

“Not when you lie.”

“I don’t lie,” he promised with an indulgent smile. “You’re too hard on yourself.”

Emily chuckled, pushing the door closed and walking backwards into her apartment, her arms still wrapped around him. He echoed each of her steps until they were standing in her living room. “Presents?”

“After we make out like teenagers.”

She kissed him through her laughter. “What has gotten into you?”

“It’s Christmas!” he repeated.

“Eggnog then,” she replied, initiating the next kiss.

Their breathing was only slightly laboured when they pulled away. “I’m happy.”

Aaron’s words struck Emily to the core. It was a big admission coming from the usually emotionally reserved man. True, with her he just beat around the bush instead of evading the question completely, but rarely did he come straight out and say what he was feeling. Her entire demeanour softened. “Me too,” she admitted.

Their next kiss was slower, softer, conveying the emotion they both weren’t quite ready to put into words yet. But it was enough for both of them. Emily was grinning widely when they both pulled away, a sparkle in her eye. Her decision about his second present seemed so much more concrete now than it ever had.

“Why aren’t you at your mother’s?” he asked, settling on her couch and pulling her down beside him.

Emily looked up at Aaron reproachfully. “That’s one way to kill a mood.”

He rolled his eyes. “Christmas is for family, your mother’s family. It’s a logical jump.”

“My mother’s Christmas extravaganza was last night,” she answered, conceding his point. “I have the running record for avoidances on that one.”

“Not Thanksgiving?”

“Thanksgiving is another story entirely,” she agreed. “That one’s just safer to attend.”

“So you threw me to the lions?”

Emily looked astonished. “Your parents were there too!”

“They were,” he agreed on a sigh.

“I thought we agreed not to talk about that,” she reminded him.

“This is true,” Aaron agreed, tucking his hand into the pocket of his winter coat. He had two, a ski jacket, and then his work coat.

Emily preferred the ski jacket. She’d forgotten he was still wearing it. “Why don’t you take your coat off, stay for a while,” she groused, tugging at the lapel, even as her eyes followed two small, brightly wrapped packages. She followed him as he stood, though turned off into the kitchen as he hung the coat by the door. “Cider?”

“Sure,” he agreed, leaning his hip against the counter to watch her work. Emily was not gifted in cooking a meal, but she made the simple steps to instant cider look like a dance. He watched the line of her body as she moved about, grabbing this from that cupboard and that from another drawer. It was only slightly disturbing that he found the picture arousing.

Then again, he missed the large majority of her domestic skills. Sure he got the end benefits, but most of the cleaning or straightening up she’d done around his house while she was on medical leave was done while he was away at work. There were some things, Emily said, that were just better done alone. They’d made teamwork out of cleaning up after meals and the major weekly duties, but the small, constant domestic things always seemed to be done by the time he got home.

“What?”

Her voice startled Aaron out of his thoughts and brought his attention to the mug she was holding out for him. He smiled his thanks as he took it, watching a tiny shiver drill down her spine as he let his fingers brush hers. “Nothing.”

“That’s not a ‘nothing’ face,” Emily responded, leading the way back to the couch. “That’s a ‘something’ face. A ‘thinking’ face.”

“I was thinking,” he said vaguely. “I think that means the ‘thinking’ face is a given.”

“Uh huh, I want to know what you were thinking _about_.”

“Classified.”

Emily chuckled. “There’s no way you have any higher security clearance than me.”

One hand cupped her mug, the other lay up and open on her knee. He shifted his own cider, tracing the lines on her hand. “Thinking about you.”

Emily stayed silent. She liked this particular all-sharing Aaron, though he didn’t come out that often.

“I miss you,” he said quietly.

“I miss you too,” she replied, unable to stop herself.

Aaron reached for the smaller of the two packages, the one he was most worried about giving her. He held his breath as she set down her mug beside his to take the package from his hand, their others still locked. She squeezed his hand once before unwrapping the present and opening the box. To his surprise, she laughed a little.

“We read each other’s minds,” she said softly, handing him a package of his own.

Sure enough, lying on a bed of cotton inside the box was a key. She wanted to give him a key to her apartment for Christmas. He knew there was as much a safety aspect attached as there was the sentimental, but he had a feeling the sentimental outweighed everything else.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while,” she said softly, her fingers stroking over the key he’d given her. “It just-“

“Makes sense,” he finished.

Emily looked up at him, searching his face. “We’ve been heading this way, haven’t we?”

Aaron nodded. “We’ve already lived together.”

“We’re just going slow.”

“Until we can figure out what to do at work.”

His words only surprised her slightly. Moving in was the logical next step after exchanging keys. “What are we going to do about work?”

He pulled her close, his heart warmed as she automatically curled into him, cuddling close. “Let’s try this for awhile. We’ll cross that bridge later.”

Sounded good to her.


	42. Chapter 42

Boxing Day shopping was a royal pain. Unfortunately, Reese Joshlynn didn’t get much of a choice. Her position in the Tucson sex crimes unit didn’t often leave her with much time off. It was a side-effect of being a loner. Sure, she was close to her partner of six years, Max Cabot, but that was pretty much it.

Actually, she lamented, her life style left a lot to be desired. She loved her job, regardless of some of the things she had to deal with. It just left her with little time to do anything else. Max often teased her about her lack of dating, but really, when did Reese have the time? Close to never.

“Excuse me?”

Reese turned, smiling helpfully at the nervous man behind her.

“You haven’t seen my nephew, have you?”

The cop in Reese kicked in immediately. “What does he look like?”

“About this tall,” the man responded anxiously, holding his hand just above his hip. “He’s just a kid.”

Reese would point out the problem with bringing a child to a most definitely crowded shopping mall later. For now, there was a missing child who could very well have already been kidnapped by one of those bastards she dealt with on a day-to-day basis. “Where was the last place you saw him?”

“This way.”

Reese followed without thinking twice.

 

JJ felt refreshed coming back in from three straight days off. It wasn’t normal that they had that much time, but it was always nice to get a chance to reconnect with her family, even if it was only over the phone. She wasn’t surprised to find all of the team already in the bullpen when she strolled in, prepared for their morning meeting.

“Good morning,” she greeted cheerfully. “How was everyone’s Christmas?”

Reid was the only one who looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. JJ couldn’t say she was particularly surprised. Spencer Reid was much too logical a person to simply enjoy the frivolity of such a holiday. Even Morrow was smiling.

“Got something for us?” Morgan asked eagerly. He didn’t do well with consults. He preferred to be in the middle of the action.

“Nope,” JJ replied, “Not yet. For now we’re stuck in Quantico.”

“It’s just after Christmas,” Emily scolded Morgan. “Wait a day or two before itching to get back to serial killers.”

“I’ve had three days,” he shot back. “Give me something to do.”

JJ smiled. She’d spent the days on her own and she had to admit, it was nice to get back to the regular swing of things. She settled her files on the edge of Spencer’s desk, leaning against the divider between him and Emily. It was her usual spot when in the bullpen.

“Violent crime tends to increase around the Christmas season,” Reid pointed out.

“Yeah, but that’s because the soccer mom is fighting the perfect dad for that one Christmas gift they both want to give their children,” Emily shot back. “It’s not like we get a spree killer over 48 hours.”

“Isn’t that a little scary though? The season of giving and there are more eyes gouged out…” JJ trailed off shaking her head.

“Maybe a little, but so long as it doesn’t fall in our jurisdiction over those 48 hours, I’m not sure I have all that much sympathy,” Morrow agreed.

Emily murmured her agreement. Mind, she’d gladly take a simple assault over a Christmas present than some of the things they saw. Then again, it wouldn’t be that challenging.

“Here, here,” JJ agreed warmly. She warmed up to the new agent, especially after Jack’s appearance the week before. Morrow hadn’t gone straight to Strauss with the news of how close Emily was to her unit chief’s son when the rest of the team seemed to be just meeting him. It was the next logical step for JJ to trust her just a little bit more. Who knew, maybe Morrow would end up joining her, Emily and Penelope on a few of their girls’ nights.

“What did you do, Jayje?” Emily asked, leaning back in her chair.

“Called my family,” JJ answered. “Did a bit of cleaning, finally got around to decorating.”

“The day before Christmas?” Morgan teased. “A little late, aren’t you?”

“This from the man who, I have on good authority, doesn’t decorate at all?”

“I’m not home at Christmas,” Morgan defended. JJ and Emily knew that he spent Christmas with Penelope because she didn’t have anyone, and his family was in Chicago. “Called my mom and sisters though.”

“Of course you did, Sweet Cheeks. Your mother would have killed you if you didn’t.” Laptop under her arm, Penelope Garcia seemed just as chipper as the rest of them. It was amazing what three days of holidays could do to the seven of them.

“Em?”

The raven-haired woman shrugged. “Saw my Dad and brother on Christmas Day.”

“No mother?” Morgan asked with a raised eyebrow.

Emily shot him a funny look. “You know how well I get along with Mother.”

“You get along fine with your mother,” Morgan said with a roll of his eyes.

“I’ll take you to next year’s Christmas thing then,” Emily threatened. “You can see us when we’re not in the public eye.”

“I’ll pass,” Morgan responded.

“I thought so.”

“Politics isn’t so bad,” Morrow piped up. “I’ve been to a few society parties.”

All eyebrow’s raised. Morrow wasn’t a name within Washington’s society pages, or Virginia’s for that matter.

Morrow was blushing. “As someone’s date.”

Morgan grinned. This was absolutely priceless.

Emily waved a hand at him, her version of keep your mouth shut. “You’ve gone to society parties of your own free will?”

“It’s not that bad!” Morrow defended again. “You say a few nice things, smile, dance, it’s over.”

Emily was shaking her head. “You’re an outsider,” she said without malice. “It’s so different when you grow up with it.”

“I thought Ambassador Prentiss was a charming woman,” Morrow said.

If she was honest, Emily didn’t mind her mother, it just frustrated her that their relationship seemed so much more official and formal than a mother-daughter relationship should. She envied Derek’s sisters for the relationship they had with their mother. Heck, she envied Derek and how close he was to his entire family.

“A little demanding,” JJ spoke up on Emily’s behalf. She remembered the case Ambassador Prentiss had stepped in on. JJ had only really dealt with the victim. Ambassador Prentiss really only dealt with her daughter and Hotch. But still, JJ had gotten a distinct impression from the woman from the moment she’d met her.

Emily chuckled. “She is to people who are not family. Regular protocol, really.”

Morrow huffed, aware she wasn’t about to win such an argument. Someone coming in caught her attention, bringing with him a small bouquet of daisies.

“I’m looking for an Agent Emily Prentiss?”

Emily was absolutely shocked. She and Aaron had discussed Chris’ idea, but she wasn’t sure either of them were prepared to go through with it. She tentatively raised her hand and watched as the man set the daisies on her desk. She felt a smile grow across her face as she grabbed the card before JJ could. “Thank you,” she told the delivery man as she opened the envelope.

There were no flourishes, no little sweet phrase. It was simple, straight forward, and to the point. In fact, there was nothing other than ‘Your Secret Admirer’ on the small card. Emily couldn’t help laughing.

“What’s so funny? Who are they from?” Derek asked.

Before he could get an answer out of her, Aaron walked in, sending the team scurrying to look like they were doing something. He stopped briefly on the stairs. “Conference room in five please.” Then he met Emily’s eyes, allowing only the corners of his mouth to tilt upwards. “Nice flowers.”

Emily blushed.

 

It was Penelope’s idea to have everyone over for New Year’s; a small party, one with people that everyone was comfortable with and one where any untoward behaviour – whatever that meant – would go without comment or question. At least in the office. During the ‘gathering’ there was no such guarantee.

Still, Emily and Aaron enjoyed the idea immensely. It meant that they could let their guards down just that little bit more and it allowed them the chance to spend time with the team as a couple. Neither of them were particularly fond of public displays of affection, but at least this way they didn’t have to resist holding hands or standing close.

In some ways, they all knew that it was silly to be staying up on New Years. They all had to be in the office the next day, the curse of holiday duty, but they were all planning on ringing the new year in together. There was the additional knowledge that at least they’d all be exhausted together.

Emily had to admit, it was a little weird to climb the stairs to Penelope’s apartment just in front of Aaron. It would be the first thing with the team where they’d intentionally show up together. It was an exhilarating thrill to think that she could do whatever she wanted tonight, within reason, and not have to worry about anybody saying or doing anything come morning. 

“Finally! You guys are the last ones here,” Penelope greeted as she ushered her boss and her colleague through the door. She happily handed Emily a crown with ‘Happy New Year!’ in pink and glitter. “Wear it. Jayje and I are.”

Sure enough, the other woman was, indeed, wearing the tacky crown. Emily settled it in her curls and grinned at Aaron. “What do you think?”

He thought she looked absolutely adorable, but he wasn’t sure how well she’d take it in front of people who would inevitably tease her until the ends of the earth. “I like it.”

“Pink _is_ my colour.”

Derek wandered over then, kissing Emily’s cheek in greeting and shaking Aaron’s hand. “Can I get you guys something?”

Emily made a mental note to ask him how much time he really spent at Penelope’s. “I’m good,” she said.

“Really? There’s juice too, apple, cranberry, orange…” Derek cajoled.

“I’ll take a cranberry then,” she said, shaking her head affectionately. Penelope dragged her over to JJ, Reid and the New Year’s special as Derek and Aaron hit the kitchen. It was Aaron who handed Emily her drink five minutes later, sliding his hand down her back and around her hip as he sat beside her. She smiled at him briefly before turning back to her debate with Reid. She didn’t match his IQ by any means, but it was when she and Reid were left to their own devices that her nerdiness often seemed at its peak. Work became a taboo subject, but it didn’t seem to affect the team’s ability to have a conversation. They even managed to stay away from things that were too personal, though the line had been blurred.

JJ watched everyone chatting away, her gut twisting. Midnight was edging closer and closer and her stomach was in her throat. Everyone had someone. Emily and Hotch would most likely kiss at midnight and Morgan and Garcia had each other… If she was honest with herself, she wanted to kiss Spencer, but there was way too much associated with crossing that line for her to be able to do it with a clear conscience. Part of her knew that it was the next logical step to make their relationship more, and though Spencer hadn’t done anything to encourage that next step he hadn’t done anything to make her think he didn’t want it either

Then came Penelope’s call, the one she had been both dreading and looking forward to at the same time. “Thirty seconds!”

JJ took a deep breath and stood, giving Penelope a tight smile as she accepted the one glass of champagne they’d been allotted for the night. She glanced around at everyone else, their happy faces. Even Spencer seemed calm, though quiet. Nerves ate at her stomach. “I’m just going to run to the bathroom.”

“You’re going to miss the ball dropping,” Emily warned.

“I’ll just be a second,” JJ promised. She had to get out of there, away from the temptation and the team. Setting her champagne glass down on the table, she made her way to the bathroom without huff or fuss, using the time to take a deep breath. She heard the others count down to the new year, watching her eyes in the mirror. She sighed when she heard the cheer and counted to ten before stepping out.

And almost ran smack dab into none other than Spencer Reid.

“Spence, you scared me.” There was something different about him, something in his eyes. JJ froze as he stepped closer to her and couldn’t seem to move when he leaned into her, cupping her chin in his hand. Then he kissed her, nothing particularly fancy, simple pressure and release, but it was enough to send JJ’s mind reeling.

“Happy New Year, JJ,” he said softly before heading back to the others.


	43. Chapter 43

Date nights didn’t happen as often as Emily would like.

She had to admit, she was very, very nervous going into the night. Aaron had put the date night plans on her shoulders and she’d planned one that she thought was very much out of his comfort zone. If there was one thing she knew, Aaron Hotchner didn’t let go easily and what she’d decided on was one thing that required both of them to act a little silly.

She’d chosen bowling.

She pulled into his driveway breathing deeply. She had faith that he would enjoy himself, it would just be a matter of getting him to loosen up and have a good time. With her, she knew it would simply be time. The only time she’d ever seen him truly relax was around her and around Jack. Even on cases she had a way of calming him down from his most aggravated.

She shook her head in the driver’s seat. She was being stupid. Six months had passed now, their comfort level something that relationships should aspire to. It wasn’t that they didn’t have their problems, simply that they kept them out of sight and out of mind when they weren’t alone. And they’d taken to discussing things. Much to their surprise, issues they had one day would often resolve themselves by the next and those that festered, didn’t fester into anger, but into calm rationality. It was difficult for two completely rational people, people who saw terrible behaviour every day, to actually have a yelling match.

Aaron opened the door with a wide smile. Emily in casual clothing was a sight he treasured because he was usually the only one to see it. She was standing in front of him in jeans and heeled boots to be sure, wrapped in her winter coat, but he had full faith that underneath she would be stylish, functional and, the at-home addition to the mix, comfortable. “Hello,” he greeted, snatching his coat from a nearby hook.

“Hello,” she replied, stepping forward to kiss him briefly. “Shall we?”

“Lead the way.” He waited until they were in the car to ask what her plans were.

“Bowling,” she told him frankly.

He raised an eyebrow. Even for her that seemed a little out of left field. “Bowling?”

“Mmhmm,” Emily replied, pulling out of the driveway. “It’s something that we are both dismal at, it’s something that’s stupid and old school, but fun.”

“And competitive.”

A coy grin stretched across her face. Competitiveness was often what kept their relationship interesting and often what kept her on her toes. There were things Aaron would fight her on until the day they died and yet others he would barely nudge. She had a feeling this night was about to turn out so much better than her originally fatalistic thoughts had bargained for.

 

Captain Jason Hackshaw was not used to frantic calls from spouses of his detectives. His gang unit ran a tight ship and they all knew personal was supposed to stay at home. His officers were tough. They had to be to make it on the gang squad.

“Gibbons!” Hackshaw yelled into the throng of detectives nosying around desks. “Where’s Raghnall?”

Gibbons, a long-time veteran of the unit and the missing officer’s partner shrugged.

“Erica didn’t come in today, Boss,” he replied.

Hackshaw wrinkled his brow. “What do you mean she didn’t come in today?” Erica Raghnall never missed a day of work. The woman had more vacation time in the bank than he did and he took vacations as rarely as possible.

“Exactly as it sounds,” Gibbons returned, shrugging again. “Haven’t seen her all day. Figured she called you sick or something.”

“She’s not at home.”

The entire office stopped moving. Officers didn’t just go missing, especially those as dedicated as Erica was. But they didn’t just go missing either, did they?

 

They bowling alley Emily had managed to find was not the cosmic bright lights or odd colours. On the contrary, it struck him as the type of place that he frequented with his friends during their high school days. Aaron looked over at his date for the evening and the smile that was starting across her face. He arched an eyebrow when she glanced at him as she parked.

“I’m excited,” she offered in explanation. “I haven’t been bowling in absolutely _ages_.”

“Me either,” he admitted as they climbed out of the car.

She grinned, swinging her purse over her shoulder. “We’ll play a few games and head out for dinner, okay?”

“Sounds good,” he agreed. Bowling would give them something mundane to talk about. With Emily Prentiss, the mundane often turned to the outrageous.

Bowling was not something he would have come up with. He liked that about Emily. She thought outside of the box at every possible opportunity and nine times out of ten was rewarded in some way for her thinking. Bowling was that out-of-the-box idea in Aaron’s mind.

He went for his pocket and wallet as they stepped up to the counter. The glare she sent him as he told the person behind the counter his shoe size told him arguing with her over who was paying was going to be a moot point. He replaced his wallet and put his hands up in surrender. He’d beat her to the dinner check.

Emily virtually skipped down the carpet to their alley, excited and anxious at the same time. She knew there were two ways she could play this game. She could play as she usually did and see what happened, or she could throw a few just so Aaron could have the thrill of ‘teaching’ her. Column B was harder. Column A could become Column B involuntarily.

“6 pounds for you?” he asked, tongue in cheek as he draped his coat over a nearby chair.

“Ha ha, funny, funny,” she replied sarcastically. “Better make it an 8.”

He picked up a 15.

Emily shivered. She wasn’t aware it was possible to make something as mundane as bowling hot, but the way his arms flexed with the weight of both balls had her salivating. She was terrible. She tried to focus on getting both of their names typed into the computer to keep score, but couldn’t keep her gaze from darting up as he set them down.

Aaron put his hands on his hips as he looked at the large scorecard on the television above his head. “You don’t want to go first?”

“Age before beauty,” she teased.

“Brawn before brains.”

“Mmm, that still means you go first.”

He sent Emily a mock glare. “That wasn’t nice.”

“I’m not a nice person. Bowl.” She wanted to see how well he was going to play.

He knocked over five pins. “Apparently this isn’t going to come back to me as fast as I thought.”

Emily laughed. “You still have another shot,” she offered in encouragement.

Three pins went down.

 

Erica Raghnall had no idea where she was nor much of an idea of what she was wearing. What she did know was that she had a meal to make. And she had no idea how to do it. John cooked, he always had. Since the day they’d gotten married he’d all but banned her from the kitchen, swearing she’d burn water if she could. Erica hadn’t done any serious cooking since.

She had the entire kitchen at her disposal, all she had to do was cook an edible meal. But she hurt in so many places from all of the times she’d been abused. She’d tried to escape, tried using all of the skills she’d learned as an officer and hadn’t been able to get anywhere. There was not a working phone line in the house, though it looked as if she was in a nice neighbourhood, from what she could see out of the window.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Erica stiffened, then whimpered as he grabbed a handful of her hair. “I can’t cook,” she said softly.

“Why the hell not?” the man growled.

She felt tears come to her eyes. “I never learned.”

He threw her head into the edge of the counter and she felt her head spin. She put her hand to her forehead and felt wetness. Blood. When she looked up, he was wielding a frying pan.

“Please, don’t.”

“Stupid whore. How can you not know how to cook? Women have duties in the home. They cook, they clean, they raise children. And yet you go against everything you’re _supposed_ to do to become a stupid cop. And what use are you then? Women shouldn’t be cops. They screw up and put innocent people in jail. And know what? Those people in jail commit suicide.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Erica said softly, holding her hand to her head. Blood was gushing from her forehead. She knew she should get stitches.

“Of course not. How could you?” he asked, almost pleasantly.

Erica kept her eyes on the frying pan, watching him twirl it in his hand.

“You wouldn’t know an innocent man if he came in and told you he shot an entire apartment building’s worth of people.” His blood was starting to pump in his veins. Punishment was coming next, punishment for her lack of womanly responsibility. He was ready. It was time.

“Please,” she whispered. “I need to go to the hospital.”

“You need to learn!” He brought the frying pan down once, twice, three times and her body went limp. He felt the thrill through his system of punishment. After all, it was all for his brother.

 

Aaron held the door open for his still-laughing date as she stepped through to the cozy yet casual bar. He rolled his eyes as she wiped tears from the corners. “I don’t understand why it’s so funny.”

“You wouldn’t,” Emily shot back as she got control of her breath again. She led the way to a table in the back, sequestered away from most of the patrons to give them a level of privacy that they always wanted. It was also her habit to take the back where she could see everything. “And being a kid really isn’t an excuse.”

“Mother said I was a cute Easter Bunny.”

“At eight years old you have the mental capacity to tell your mother she’s off her rocker.” On the way over, Aaron had told her a story about how his mother had dressed him up in a fluffy bunny suit for Easter one year. She’d been lucky to have made it alive with how hard she was laughing.

“To this day _you_ haven’t told your mother she’s domineering, do you think I could do the same?”

Emily shook her head. “I’m pretty sure if my mother ever presented me with a fluffy bunny suit I’d throw the biggest fit of my life regardless of my mother.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, leaning against the seat of the booth. “I was eight.”

“I told you, it’s not an excuse,” she responded. “Children know their parents make them do stupid things, Aaron.”

“Your parents didn’t make you do anything silly as a kid?” Aaron asked

Emily blushed, thankful for the darker lighting. “Never anything like bunnies.”

It was an admission nonetheless and he had full intention of wringing out of her exactly what Emily Prentiss’ definition of parental ‘silliness’ was. “Turkeys then?”

“I’m not telling,” she insisted with a laugh. She had to admit, she’d hoped he would loosen up, but the extent to which he had surprised her completely. Even in public, Aaron Hotchner had a difficult time letting go. When it was just the two of them, in her apartment or at his house, there was never a problem, but in public there was an element of guardedness he kept around him. Tonight, it seemed that she had either completely put him at ease or something had changed in him.

Conversation paused while they ordered drinks and their meals. “Christopher will probably me more than willing to tell me.”

She groaned. “Please, no.”

“Probably with pictures,” Aaron continued.

Emily knew Chris had pictures. There was no way she’d let him see those pictures. “Okay, okay, okay!”she said. “It was Santa.”

Aaron arched an eyebrow.

“Every year, at Christmas, my dad used to dress me up as Santa.”

Aaron knew how close Emily was to her father, so it wasn’t exactly a leap for him to imagine that she would have allowed her father to con her into the costume for years upon years. “How?”

Emily sighed. It was still a little embarrassing to talk about. “Red hoodie with fur trim on the hood, pockets, sleeve cuffs, bottom…. Red pants, red fluffy slippers. The whole thing.”

“You must have been an adorable little Santa.”

“You’re not helping,” Emily grumbled.

“Santa is better than the Easter Bunny,” he pointed out. “There’s no ears and he never made you put pillows underneath.”

He definitely had a point.

“When did it stop?”

“When I moved out,” Emily responded. It was probably better to just rip the band aid off instead of revealing it bit by bit. “We kind of changed a lot of traditions when I moved out.”

“Understandable. Things always change when you do.”

He would know well. The past two years had been an upheaval for him and she knew it. She’d been there every step of the way, partially because she had nothing better to do, but more importantly, because there was nowhere else she wanted to be. It was sad when she thought back on it. “So I have eighteen years of it under my belt, mister. To your once. I win.”

Aaron laughed.


	44. Chapter 44

It wasn’t often that Fran Morgan got the chance to visit her son in DC so when they got the chance, she and her two daughters always jumped at the opportunity. It was the reason they were currently deplaning, stepping into Washington’s Regan National Airport. And the feelings racing through the mother of three were an interesting mixture of nervousness and excitement. Derek had called the previous night apologizing profusely for not being able to make it to the airport to pick her up. But Derek Morgan wasn’t the type to just leave his mother in the airport. He sent someone else, a name Fran recognized immediately:

Penelope Garcia.

Her son talked about the eccentric technical analyst more than often. Sure, he talked about the other members of his team and often even spoke of both JJ and Emily Prentiss with affection. However, that affection often mirrored the affection with which he spoke of his sisters. Penelope, on the other hand, got a different kind of warmth, one that set off every parental radar in Fran’s mind. She was excited to meet the only woman Fran had ever known to capture her son’s heart so completely.

Now came the part that made Fran nervous: finding a woman she’d never met.

“Mrs Morgan?”

Fran spun to find a blond woman who could only be Derek’s Penelope. She recognized the other dark haired woman that accompanied Penelope. “Agent Prentiss.”

Prentiss smiled broadly. “Mrs Morgan. And please, it’s Emily.”

Where Fran had been apprehensive and terrified the first time she’d met Emily Prentiss, she felt more at ease to be meeting her again on a more personal level. “Then please, call me Fran. You remember Sarah and Desiree?”

Emily nodded and smiled, shaking hands with both young women.

Fran turned her attention to Penelope. “And you must be Derek’s Penelope. I’m so glad to finally meet you.”

Penelope was blushing bright red. ‘Derek’s Penelope’? “Me too,” she agreed shyly.

“You’re Penelope Garcia?” Sarah asked turning her attention to her mother and her companion. She ran her eyes from top to bottom. “He did not do you justice.”

Penelope glanced at Emily as the latter snickered. Fran brought her attention back to the Morgans.

“I can’t thank you enough for everything you do for my Derek. He probably would have burned out long ago if it wasn’t for you.”

The cursed blush was back. “I think you give me too much credit, ma’am.”

“It’s Fran,” she corrected firmly.

Emily could see Penelope was right flustered and couldn’t stop her grin. The vibrating on her hip brought her attention to her phone.

_Where are you?_

Her eyebrows knit. She’d mentioned the airport the previous day. _Picking up Morgan’s family with Garcia. I left my work on my desk if that’s what you’re looking for._

“Everything okay?” Penelope asked, well aware of the demands of the bat phone.

“No idea,” Emily responded, trying for a reassuring smile. “We should probably get going anyway.”

_Morgan’s family?_

_That’s why he looked like he wanted to kill you when you asked him and Reid to go to Richmond for the custodial interview._

Sarah and Desiree took one of Penelope’s arms each. The blond looked a little overwhelmed as both women starting chattering at once. Fran kept pace with Emily.

“Derek said you were injured?”

Emily blinked. She’d assumed Derek talked about Penelope, but not about her. “Almost a year ago,” she agreed.

Fran nodded. “And Penelope?”

The question now made sense. “She and Derek really… bonded over that.”

“He was terrified for her,” Fran said. “I hadn’t heard him that frantic in a long time.”

Emily sure what to say to that. “They’re close.”

“My son is dense.”

Emily laughed.

“And what about Penelope?” Fran inquired.

Emily could feel an idea forming in the back of her head. It would be cruel, but it could give both Emily and JJ a chance to gain some insight on Derek as well as Penelope’s view on it. “That’s a better question to ask her.”

Fran knew a plotting tone when she heard one. She had three kids. “What did you have in mind?”

“Penelope, JJ and I are taking the afternoon off to have a girl’s afternoon because things have been slow around the office. Why don’t you join us?”

Fran considered the invitation. She was there to see her son, but the opportunity was oh-so tempting. “I don’t want to intrude.”

“Nonsense,” Emily replied, a gleam in her eye.

Fran had a feeling Emily was a kindred spirit in her battle to find Derek someone special. She felt herself beginning to smile.  “I’m sure Derek won’t mind.”

 

All six women met at Emily, JJ and Penelope’s favourite spa for manicures and pedicures. Sarah and Desiree were anxious to get started. Fran was anxious to understand Penelope. She and Emily managed to manipulate it such that Penelope sat between Fran and JJ. JJ could provide comfort for Fran’s inevitable interrogation.

Fran spent the first twenty minutes or so simply observing the interaction between the other five women. As the eldest and mother figure, these were things she noticed. Emily, for example, was perfectly content the way she was an in her life, even if her fingers continued to fly over the keys of her phone. Fran would bet money on the other end of the texting conversation. She had noticed something different between Agent Hotchner and Emily when they’d been in Chicago almost three years ago.

Penelope was anxious, though Fran knew the presence of her friends made her animated at the very least. The other agent, JJ, on the other hand, was battling with something. She could see it in the woman’s eyes and in the quiet way she conducted herself. The blond hadn’t said much unless she’d been directly spoken to. JJ was internalizing something.

“Is everything okay, JJ?” Fran asked softly.

Penelope turned on her friend. “Jayje?”

JJ tried for a smile, but now that Penelope and Emily were looking for it, JJ knew they’d both see that it didn’t meet her eyes. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s something,” Penelope declared. “You’ve been quiet all day.”

“I’m just thinking, is all,” JJ replied. “I’ve got a couple of press releases to do for a few of…”

Fran arched her eyebrow. Press releases didn’t make beautiful, kind women like JJ look like their cat died. She made a mental note to corner her about it later. Sometimes it helped when it was a third person.

“I thought we weren’t talking about work,” Emily spoke up, leaning her head back, her hands and phone limp in her lap.

“We’re not,” JJ agreed immediately. In her mind, work meant Reid and if they weren’t talking about work, then Reid was off limits too. At least that was her thinking.

“The men aren’t off limits though,” Emily said. They couldn’t be, if they were going to get anything out of Penelope.

JJ winced.

Emily’s eyes gleamed.

“Is there something wrong with that?” Penelope asked innocently.

“No,” JJ said on a sigh. “Not at all.”

“Oh my God!” Penelope exclaimed suddenly, shocking everyone in the room. “New Years!”

“What?” Emily asked sitting up. “What about New Years.”

“When our girl here up and disappeared! The good doctor went after her!” Penelope exclaimed. “I just remembered.”

JJ’s bright red cheeks and panicked expression spoke for her.

“What happened?” Desiree asked, jumping on the band wagon. She remembered Dr Reid from Chicago and she couldn’t seem to think of it as that long of a stretch.

“He kissed me.”

Emily and Penelope’s jaws dropped. Spencer Reid didn’t strike them as the type to make the first move. Emily had had her money on Penelope and Derek figuring things out before JJ and Reid did.

“That’s a good thing, is it not?” Fran asked.

JJ sighed. “I don’t know,” she admitted honestly.

“Of course it’s a good thing! Now you know where you stand with our geekily gorgeous doctor,” Penelope replied. She was really just thankful things hadn’t turned to Derek.

“We haven’t talked since.”

Emily cocked her head to the side. She hadn’t even noticed. “What are you going to do?”

“The same thing we all do,” JJ responded. “Keep going.”

“Because that’s worked oh so well for Penelope,” Emily said sarcastically.

“Hey, we’re not talking about me.”

“But we should be,” Sarah argued with a secretive smile. The sisters had mainly stayed out of JJ’s issues more because they didn’t really know the woman. Penelope, on the other hand, was someone they very much wanted to get to know. “So tell me, has Derek finally gotten around to asking you out?”

“I’m not Derek’s type,” Penelope said, trying to bow out of the subject gracefully.

“Yeah right, you’re not his type! Derek doesn’t have a relationship ‘type’,” Desiree responded. “They boy will date anything with a skirt, but the woman who can get him to settle down is one hell of a woman.”

“He’s been in love with you for ages,” Sarah agreed. “He’s just being dense. You’re going to have to slap him up the back of the head to get him to pay attention.”

“Or just jump him,” Desiree agreed with a shrug.

Penelope laughed, though the sound was forced. “He doesn’t want me.”

“That’s not true!” Sarah exclaimed passionately.

Fran shot a look at both of her girls that told them to back off. “Why not?”

Penelope’s eyes opened wide. “How could he?”

“Because you are a beautiful person,” Fran answered, taking Penelope’s hand. “He adores you, Penelope. When you were in the hospital I thought I was going to have to come out here to keep him sane.”

“He told you he loved you,” JJ spoke up softly.

“What?!” Sarah and Desiree exclaimed simultaneously.

Fran shushed them. Her heart was soaring at the thought. “Is that true?”

Penelope nodded slightly, looking completely embarrassed.

The oldest Morgan squeezed Penelope’s hand to get her complete attention. “Derek has a fantastic heart, but he keeps it all locked away. He’s never told _anyone_ outside of the three of us that he loved them. _Never_ , Penelope. He is very careful about who he trusts and who he allows in his life. I know my son and he has never said anything he doesn’t mean.”

“He didn’t mean romantic love,” Penelope said softly. Those words had haunted her for weeks and weeks, months and months. To this day, they still haunted her because she’d meant more, even if he didn’t.

“Honey, Derek doesn’t trust anyone like he trusts you.”

“He didn’t tell me he played football. He didn’t tell me he had a juvenile record,” the blond pointed out, shuffling through nail colours for her toes.

“His childhood is not something Derek often wants to remember,” Desiree said softly. “A lot of things happened that he wasn’t proud of.”

“He’s not ready to settle down,” Penelope argued.

“He hasn’t found that woman,” Fran contradicted. She sighed. “Penelope, I love my son, but he doesn’t always make decisions that are good for _him_. He thinks of everyone else before he will ever think of himself. He is a very, very private person. But, Penelope, there is one consistent thing in each and every one of our weekly conversations, and that’s _you_.”

Penelope’s head was reeling. It was a lot to take in and a lot to process. “I can’t.”

JJ snorted. “Now you know my predicament.”

“You guys just need to take a risk,” Emily reasoned. “Jump and never look back.”

“This from the woman who didn’t make the first move herself,” Penelope pouted.

Emily, much to everyone’s surprise simply shrugged. “I didn’t kiss him first, no, but I did fall asleep in his bed first.”

“He made the first move in inviting you to stay at his place while you recovered,” JJ argued. “Still his move.”

“And Reid made the first move for you,” Emily pointed out, tucking her phone in her pocket. Aaron could wait while she got her fingernails done. “Ball is in your court, Jayje. What are you going to do?”

“I thought we were talking about Derek and Penelope,” Desiree butted in, bringing the focus back to the point of the Morgans coming along to begin with.

“Derek Morgan dates a specific type of woman,” Penelope began. “He stayed with me because he is my friend and I was injured…”

“Like Emily stayed with Hotch, right,” JJ agreed sarcastically.

“But he and I…”

“Have faith,” Fran interrupted with soft conviction. “A mother knows, Penelope, and this mother definitely knows her son. He is in love with you and he probably always has been. You just need to show him you love him back.”

“I’ve tried.”

“I’m sure you have, but Derek is dense,” Fran replied, quoting her daughters. “He takes more time than the average person to see what’s right in front of his nose. Be patient with him. He’ll come around.”

 

Emily used her key to let herself into Aaron’s house that night after they’d sent Fran, Sarah and Desiree back to Derek’s house. He was in the dining room, his back arched over files upon files. She shook her head affectionately as she set her bags down and made her way over to him, sliding her hands over his t-shirt clad shoulders.

“Hey,” he greeted softly and absently.

She allowed her hands to start rubbing at the tense muscles beneath her palms. “Hey.”

“How was your afternoon?” Aaron asked, his concentration wavering with Emily’s massage.

“Informative.”

“Oh?”

Emily felt a smile creeping over her face. “Let’s just say we might not be the only ones guilty of fraternization soon.”

Aaron didn’t need to know who she was talking about. “It’s not technically fraternization,” he pointed out. He’d come to terms with the fact that what he and Emily were doing was against FBI regulations and it became easier to talk about afterwards. “They aren’t on the same team.”

“True,” she acquiesced, her hands still moving on his shoulders, starting to stroke up his neck. “Still.” People often saw relationships with people who worked together as fraternization, even if it technically wasn’t. JJ and Reid was another relationship like that. They weren’t technically on the same team, so there were loopholes in the fraternization policy to deal with that, but the perception of if would be that it was against policy.

“And the Morgans?”

“Fantastic people,” she said, smile obvious. “Fran has a way of getting through to people I’ve never seen before, even with us. Did you know Reid kissed JJ two months ago? New Years.”

“I assumed something happened,” he answered. “They’ve been acting oddly.”

“You take the fun out of it,” she pouted. “How did I not see it?”

“You and Gideon are the only two people I know with a better poker face than Spencer Reid,” Aaron answered, setting down his pen and flipping the file closed. There was no use in bothering when Emily wasn’t working. They both had intense concentration when they wanted too, but they’d also developed the ability to distract the other without much effort.

“But JJ…” Emily said shaking her head. “How did I miss JJ?”

“She’s been avoiding the bullpen,” Aaron answered, tilting his head back to meet her gaze. “That was my first clue.”

Emily shook her head, allowing Aaron to lead her around the chair to straddle his lap. “I see her for lunch so I guess I just didn’t notice.”

He hummed and leaned in to kiss her.

She sighed happily as they pulled away. “That’s such a better ‘hello’.” She looked over her shoulder at the files. “You brought work home?”

“Signing off on case files,” he answered. “Nothing strenuous.”

Emily snorted inelegantly. “In our job everything is strenuous,” she retorted smartly. “Come on, we’ll watch a movie. I have a terrible craving for popcorn.”

 

Homicide Detective Nick Shaw shook his head as he glanced down at the body of Michelle Pegeen. The twenty-nine year old had been in her final year as a street cop, preparing herself to qualify for the forensics team. He colleagues had spoken highly of her when they’d been investigating her disappearance three weeks prior.

She was the third dead cop they’d found.

His superiors were breathing down his neck to bring down this cop killer. Nick was at the end of his rope. They had no leads. They couldn’t find anything in common between the women, except that they worked in law enforcement. None of them ever shared the same superior and never even shared a department.

He sighed as his phone rang. “Detective Shaw.”

“Hello detective, this is Agent Jareau calling from Quantico.”

Hope soared in his chest.

“We’ll be presenting the case to the team this morning. We should be there by late afternoon.”

He felt a relieved smile cross his face, the first smile he’d shown since the case had begun. “Thanks Agent Jareau. Thank you so much.”


	45. Chapter 45

As she walked into the bullpen, JJ felt her stomach roll. She had a feeling this was going to be a bad one, a case that haunted them for ages and ages and ages. What had bothered her the most, however, and convinced her that they had to take the case was the in-your-face victimology.

Three female police officers.

She hadn’t had to look much past that to have her convinced, but she had. Presenting the case to the team would take more than their dedication to their profession to convince them it was right up their alley. And she’d found that factor as she went through the file.

Her stride was purposeful as she made her way up the stairs to Hotch’s office and she saw the team start putting things away, preparing to go to the conference room, setting ready bags on desks so they were quickly accessible when they had to leave. JJ knew she looked grim and knew that the urgency showed in her face. She was glad the team could understand before anyone  had to say anything.

She knocked on Hotch’s door. “Sir, you’re going to want to see this one.”

Much like the rest of the team Hotch’s face hardened when he met her eyes. He moved quickly, leaving whatever he was doing to follow her to the conference room, taking the proffered file on the way.

The team was silent as they sat around the conference table, no jokes, no laughter, just mental preparation for what they could potentially be seeing. JJ passed files around, sliding Emily’s and Morgan’s across the table to them.

“Tucson, Arizona has a serial cop killer.”

Morgan was the first one on full alert. “A what?”

“Three female police officers have turned up dead in the last two and a half months,” JJ began, picking up the remote for the flat screen television at the front of the room. She brought up the pictures of the three victims.

“Reese Joshlynn, 31, Erica Raghnall, 26 and Michelle Pegeen, 29, sex crimes, gang unit and street officer respectively. All went missing upwards of a week before their bodies were found.”

“This can’t be easy on the city,” Morrow spoke up.

“Zoe Duyen, 32, went missing yesterday,” JJ said.

Hotch didn’t need to hear anymore. “We’re on the plane in half an hour.”

The team scattered.

 

Emily stopped by JJ’s office on her way to the tarmac. Her head was reeling with the information and the pictures and while she’d love to go to Aaron, she had a feeling that this was going to grate on them all. The blond sat at her desk, head in her hands.

“Female officers.”

JJ looked up and sighed. “Yeah.”

“You don’t think…”

“With how involved we get, it’s possible,” JJ finished.

Emily sighed. “Aaron’s going to flip.”

“How do we know he’s not just sticking to Tucson?”

“We don’t,” the brunette replied.

“Then maybe that’s something we can run with,” JJ said.

But for how long? If their unsub was targeting female law enforcement agents, without regard to their unit or department, what was to say that one of the BAU women wasn’t going to be on his victim list, especially with how involved they got in their investigations. And JJ was always on television trying to calm wide-spread panic during their cases.

“Humouring and handling,” Emily said suddenly, crossing her arms over her chest. “We can take care of ourselves.”

“Of course we can,” JJ agreed with a small smile.

But even so, they both knew what they were about to get into could pull them all apart at their strongest seams.

“I think I envy Pen,” JJ said as she grabbed her ready bag.

Emily nodded her agreement as both women made their way to the elevator. “I think I do too.”

\--

Forty-five minutes later, they were up in the air, files spread around all six of them, laptop open on the table.

“I’m stating the obvious here,” Emily spoke up, “But it looks like he doesn’t like women in law enforcement. The way he’s dressed these women speaks to someone who is very traditional in his beliefs, feels that women should stick to the 1950s idyllic model.”

“What’s the significance of a feather duster, a frying pan and a pillow case?” Morrow asked, pointing to three pictures. “There’s no consistency.”

“Not in cause of death either,” Reid murmured. “Reese Joshlynn choked to death, Erica Raghnall died of blunt force trauma and Michelle Pegeen was suffocated.”

“Why?” JJ asked. “Why be so inconsistent with the way he kills them?”

“To cover his tracks?” Emily theorized. “The only connection between these women is that they’re Tucson police officers.”

“Why choose these women?” Morgan agreed.

“Better question, how did he get police officers to go with him?” Aaron inquired.

“Ruse,” Morrow said immediately. “If I was in there shoes, I’d have to think someone was in trouble or something to follow a stranger.”

“Play on the nature of the officer,” Emily concurred. “A missing kid, a wounded neighbour… he could be using any number of things.”

“They were all off duty. Filed as missing because they missed work,” Morgan said.

“Why law enforcement?” JJ asked. “There are tonnes of women that don’t follow the ideal model, so why did he specifically chose women that worked in the police?”

“A very good question, JJ,” Aaron said. “A very good question.”

 

Detective Nick Shaw rocked back on his heels as the small private jet landed. He was anxious to meet the Behavioural Analysis Unit and even more anxious to get on the streets trying to catch this guy. He’d heard from another officer that they’d helped out a hundred different precincts when they were in a jam and if he wanted some serious help, the BAU was the way to go. The man had sung the unit’s praises and, after doing some research and presenting the idea to his captain, Nick had placed a call to Agent Jennifer Jareau.

He’d been more than happy when she’d responded with the affirmative, but he still wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. They were the FBI after all and there were stereotypes involved with government agencies. Nick had been fortunate enough to have never handed a case off to the Arizona bureau. He’d heard from other members of his unit that they were glory-seekers. But the friend that had suggested the BAU had said that this was a unit that didn’t want the credit. They just wanted the guy.

Nick watched the people file off the plane. A short blond came out first, looking nervous but confident as she swung her bag over her shoulder. A tall gangly man came next and Nick had the sudden impression that the man was a graduate tag-along. He stopped a few feet away from the end of the stairs, separate from the first woman. Then came a built African-American man, head bald, bag swung over his shoulder. To Nick’s surprise, the man was smiling, saying something to the next woman that came out, another blond professional.

She was the one who made her way towards him when she spotted him. He assumed it was Agent Jareau. As she approached, he watched the last two file out, a raven-haired woman and a dark haired man. The latter was what Nick had expected from the FBI, not the other mostly business casual dressed agents.

“Detective Shaw?”

Agent Jareau was a diminuitive woman, but Nick got the strong impression that it most often worked in her favour. And he’d be blind not to notice her attractiveness. “Welcome to Tucson. I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“So do I,” she agreed. “This is the rest of the team, Special Agent In Charge Aaron Hotchner.”

Nick’s FBI stereotype.

“Superivisory Special Agents Derek Morgan.”

African-American muscle.

“Jane Morrow.”

Nervous Blondie.

“Emily Prentiss.”

Stoic, intelligent brunette.

“And Dr Spencer Reid.”

Graduate Student. Nick raised an eyebrow. “Doctor?”

“Our expert in everything,” Hotchner said. “Where can we start?”

Nick had the impression that he’d like Hotchner’s straight forward manner even if the man seemed to separate himself. Well, except for the brunette. He stood pretty darn close to her for colleagues. “The precinct. I’ve got you guys a room in there that’s all yours. We had the guys pull all of the information we could find on the victims and their families, not to mention autopsy reports and any other case paraphernalia.”

“You’re the lead detective on the case?” Jareau asked.

“Since the beginning,” Nick agreed.

“I’ll ride with you if that’s okay?” she asked with a dazzling smile.

She was already his hero for accepting their case. “Fine with me.”

“Perfect. I want to talk to you about how we’re going to handle the media and the panic.”

And she was becoming more and more his hero every second. The media had been a circus and they’d been unable to control the wide-spread of the news.

“We’d also like to talk to those that were close to all three victims,” Morgan spoke up. “Get an idea if these women were specifically targeted. Preferably the people that reported them missing.”

“I’ll get my guys on it as soon as we’re on the road,” Nick agreed. He and Jareau split from the rest of the group, the others heading to two FBI-provided Tahoes off to the side of the tarmac. He turned to the blond woman. “I can’t thank you enough for coming.”

She smiled. “I’m just glad we’re not running into resistance.”

“You will,” he warned her. “Some of the guys aren’t exactly sold on this whole profiling thing. But I’ve looked into some of the work you guys have done. It’s pretty impressive.”

“They’re a good team,” Jareau agreed as she pulled open the passenger’s side of his car.

“And your Agent Reid is really a doctor?”

“Three Ph.Ds,” Jareau responded. “IQ of 187.”

Nick whistled. “Wow.”

Jareau nodded. “What can you tell me about the media coverage for the case?”


	46. Chapter 46

Aaron drove with Reid and Morrow to the precinct, his mind whirling. He wasn’t sure how much of this case hinged on their victimology and how much of it hinged on the place and it was starting to grate on his nerves. Logically he knew JJ, Emily and Morrow were good agents. Heck, he’d seen Emily and JJ go into dangerous situations and come out without a scratch, but it had been a long time since he’d felt like someone on his team was on the line.

And this time it was more like three members of his team. He didn’t like the unpredictability of this unsub, didn’t like that they had no idea if he was targeting Tucson police officers or if he had an issue with female law enforcement in general.

“Morrow, I’m partnering you with Morgan,” he said strongly, glancing into the rear view mirror at the younger agent.

“Yes sir.”

“Reid, stick with JJ.” That was going to be a double-edged sword, but they were going to have to work out their issues sooner or later. He’d rather it be sooner. But he also knew Reid would put himself on the line for JJ, just like he knew he’d do the same for Emily. He wanted to make sure that dedication would mean that his agents would be safe at all times, no matter the cost.

Reid simply nodded. He knew JJ had been avoiding him and he knew why. He just wasn’t sure if it was because she thought it was a mistake and didn’t have any idea how to let him down lightly, or if she was just afraid. He hoped it was the latter.

They were silent the rest of the way to the precinct and all six of them knew they made an intimidating picture with grim faces and professional demeanours as they made their way through the Tucson detectives to a back conference room. An older balding man greeted them, as well as a younger detective.

“BAU?”

“Agent Hotchner,” Aaron said, shaking hands with the man.

“Captain David O’Hare. I run the homicide detail. This is Shaw’s partner, Keith Cooper. Coop.”

The rest of the team had started to set up while Aaron talked to the captain. Shaw had stepped aside to make the calls to those they wanted to interview.

“You guys are efficient, I give you that.”

It was JJ that spoke up. “We’ve got a lot of work to do.” Her smile was still bright. “Agent Jareau, media and law enforcement liaison.”

Captain O’Hare raised an eyebrow. “No offence, dollface, but are you sure you should be working on the case?”

Aaron narrowed his eyes. “Agent Jareau is very good at her job.”

“I mean to disrespect,” O’Hare corrected himself hastily, “But lookin’ at the ladies this guy’s been focused on, I’ve been a little nervous about my women in the field. You understand, Agent Hotchner.”

He did.

So did JJ.

“Uh, excuse me, Captain O’Hare?” Reid interrupted. “I was wondering if there was something you found that linked these women. According to the files there isn’t anything.”

“Notes,” Coop spoke up. “We found a note with each of the bodies. They’re in evidence.”

“I’d like to see them,” Reid said politely. Psycholinguistics was one of his many areas of expertise.

“We couldn’t make heads or tails of the things,” Coop warned as he dug through a nearby evidence box, withdrawing three standard letter size sheets of white paper.

Reid spread them out on the conference table, looking over them, eyes scanning and re-scanning the pages. “They’re in code…” he said.

“Yeah. We have no idea what they’re trying to say.”

“But he is communicating with us,” Morgan spoke up. “Tells us something about the guy.”

“It does?”

It was slowly becoming obvious to JJ that Coop was one of the people Shaw had warned her about in the car. It didn’t look like the man put much faith in what they were there to do.

“It does,” Morrow agreed. “He’s communicating with us.”

“In code.”

“But he’s still communicating. And he’s signing his work by leaving the notes behind. He wants the attention,” Morgan explained, coming around the table to look over Reid’s shoulder.

“Reid, JJ, you stay here, work the letters and figure out how much of a clamp we can put on the media now that it’s splashed all over the place,” Aaron ordered as Shaw hung up the phone.

“Erica Raghnall’s husband and Reese Joshlynn’s partner are headed over,” he said.

“Morgan, Morrow, take the partner. Prentiss, you and I will interview the husband.” The Tucson officers left, leaving only the BAU. They all looked around at each other, almost in perfect harmony when the door closed behind their hosts.

“We go everywhere in pairs,” Aaron said softly. “JJ, I want you and Reid to stick together. Morgan, you and Morrow. Emily, you’re with me.”

Emily asked the question racing through everyone’s head. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He’d basically paired them off in their couples and though Emily could understand his overprotective instinct, part of her seriously worried about a conflict of interest in the job with the way they were partnered.

“We can switch things around if something happens,” he said, his eyes imploring her to agree. When even Captain O’Hare had mentioned his apprehension about his female officers, Aaron’s protective instinct had jumped. “You don’t even go to the bathroom by yourselves, understood?”

“Yes sir,” Morrow answered quietly.

Emily and JJ simply nodded.

“I tried to book four conjoining rooms at the hotel,” JJ offered. “They had two.”

“You, Emily, Morgan and Reid take the conjoined ones,” Aaron ordered immediately. The more of his agents protected, the better he’d feel. “That door stays open.” He looked around at his team. “Until we know whether or not our unsub has it in for Tucson officers only, I don’t want to put anyone needlessly at risk.”

 

JJ sighed as she read over yet another article about their case. Spence was pouring over the notes like there was nothing else in the world, but she was acutely aware of his presence. She wanted to kill Hotch for pairing them together. She knew he’d noticed the tension between them and as much as she understood his reasoning – especially since there was no one she’d trust more with her life anymore – it was starting to grate on her nerves.

She looked up into the bullpen, unsurprised to see a throng of media people outside the front door. Detective Shaw had brought them through a back entrance, well aware it was a huge annoyance to have to fight your way through a throng of people.

“Excuse me.”

JJ looked up. At the door stood a man, pencil behind his ear. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Bernard Dell, a crime reporter for-“

“We have no comment for you, Mr Dell,” JJ said as politely as she could.

“The public wants to know. Especially now that they’ve brought in another agency.”

She hated reporters. She was damned good at her job, but there was always one overzealous hound that found every way to get any kind of story they could. Bernard Dell gave her the creeps. “I’m sure they do, Mr Dell, but again, there is no comment I can give you at this time.”

“A cover up won’t look good for the department.”

JJ could feel a headache starting to build in her temples. “Mr Dell, I understand that this is a huge story. I can understand that covering this is probably a coveted prize, but there is nothing we can tell you at this time. When there is something, we will be holding a press conference, you can ask your questions there.”

“Bernie! What the hell are you doing in here?”

Dell froze. “Looking for the things you’re not telling us, Detective,” he replied.

“Well do it outside the precinct. I find you in here one more time I’m arresting your for obstruction of justice and harassment,” Shaw said strongly, leading the man out with a hand clapped on his shoulder.

JJ watched both men go, a creep racing up and down her spine. She massaged her temples.

“Everything okay?”

Reid’s soft voice startled her. She looked up at him, blue eyes wide. “Sure.” She watched him start playing with the edge of one of the plastic evidence bags, a sure sign that he was nervous.

“You always tell me the truth, JJ.”

The words were matter-of-fact, but they still tore at her heart strings. Reid had to work harder than anybody to fit in and she’d known it had taken a supreme amount of courage for him to kiss her on New Years. Still, JJ didn’t know what she wanted to do about it. She sighed. “My brain is frying.”

Reid cocked his head to the side. They hadn’t even been on the case for 12 hours. “That’s not a good sign.”

“There’s just…. There’s a lot to deal with.”

Silence fell, and JJ was sure Spence had gone back to the letters. She looked up suddenly when his hand came into her vision, holding two Aspirin.

He put a bottle of water down beside her file. “I didn’t mean to confuse you,” he said softly.

She blinked. “You didn’t,” she said reflexively, though it was true. Kissing her really wasn’t something that was confusing. If anything, it clarified where he stood.

“Then I did something wrong,” Spence said, how much it was bugging him showing in his tone of voice. “You don’t come into the bullpen, you’ve barely said two words to me since.”

JJ sighed, looking down at the dark-stained wood of the conference room table. He was pulling up a lot of emotions she wasn’t sure she was prepared to deal with on a case. There was already a lot in her head, racing through her mind, and emotion was something she didn’t deal with while doing her job. Or at least something she tried not to deal with.

 _This is Spence,_ her mind scolded. _The one person you’ve trusted with almost everything since Henkel. What is wrong with you woman!_

Her inner voice sounded like Penelope.

But it was right. The nightmares, the pictures, the times where cases hit just a little bit too close to home for either of them… they went to each other. She knew he’d never betrayed her trust. In fact, she was sure he hadn’t even told his mother the things she confided in him.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said finally.

He waited a beat. “Then talk to me.”

“I’m scared,” she confided finally, quietly.

“Because of the case? JJ, the chances of you being a victim are-“

“Not about the case,” she interrupted. “About… I don’t want to get hurt.”

Spence sat down beside her, gathering all of his courage to put his hand on her knee. He almost jumped when hers fell on top, gripping it, but not moving it. “Neither do I.” He paused. “Sometimes I think it’s too good to be true.”

She looked up, unsurprised to find his own eyes as tumultuous as hers. “What?”

“You,” he admitted, gathering everything in him he could. “You’re… the quintessential girl next door. You deserve to be dating a football jock, someone who can shower you with everything.”

She really should have known this was the road he was going to take. She should have known he’d be insecure. She squeezed his hand. “I want someone who knows what we see,” she said softly. “I don’t want someone who thinks they’re oh-so-perfect. I don’t want to be a trophy wife.” Because that’s what he’d essentially described.

“I could develop schizophrenia,” he said quietly. “I spout off random facts all the time.” His voice dropped to a quiet whisper. “I was a drug addict.”

“And I’m still here,” she reminded him. She paused. “I don’t understand either, you know. Why you like me, I mean.”

Spence blinked. She didn’t know why he adored her? “Because you’re smart,” he blurted. “And strong, and people wouldn’t think that of you. You put on this act of someone who could be blown over by the wind but you coral media and law enforcement like they’re cattle. You know who you are and what you do and you never let that belief waver. Ever.”

That was definitely not what she’d expected. She’d expected a flowery speech on how she was beautiful and smart and funny and everything a man could want. But she should have known Spence would see past all that.

“Because you’re not perfect,” he continued softly. “Because you’re terrified of dogs. Because no matter how deep I thought I was, you never, ever doubted me. Because you have nightmares and you break down and you throw up at particularly gruesome scenes, especially if an animal has chewed flesh.”

The thought made her stomach churn. “Spencer Reid, you are one of the strongest people I know,” she started softly, ready to reciprocate. There was so much about him that she loved. “You’re quiet and you don’t expect everyone to fall all over you. You love your job, even though it tears you apart inside to do it. You see things no one else sees about crimes and about _people_ ,” she said, emphasizing the last word. “You hide behind what you know because you don’t do well in social situations and even though you don’t believe it, people are intimidated by you.”

His other hand dropped to caress hers, feeling every bone in her hand. “What do we do?”

JJ took a deep breath. This was that cliff edge Emily had been talking about, the one where you could play it safe, never risk anything, and never be rewarded or jump. “We see what happens.”

“We do?”

JJ nodded, meeting his eyes. “We work this case, we do our jobs, and we see what happens. We get back home and we go out for dinner, like a date.”

“Like a date,” Spence repeated a smile stretching across his face. “I like it.”

The blond mirrored his smile. “So do I.”


	47. Chapter 47

“Reese didn’t talk to too many people,” Max Cabot lamented. “She was pretty much a loner.” He sat in Captain O’Hare’s office, two FBI agents in front of him.

He hadn’t been all that excited to get Shaw’s call. Both men went back to the academy together. They’d trained together, become friends. Shaw had been the one to give him the news about Reese. He’d been shocked to say the least. Sure, Reese was damned good at her job and that often meant that people got upset, but she had a good heart and even that showed through in her work.

“She didn’t have any friends?”

Max met the eyes of the blond agent, Morrow, his mind catalogued. “Not that I knew of, ma’am. In our job you see a lot of things, deal with a lot of unsavoury people. You don’t want to take that home to somebody.” He had a feeling that both agents knew that feeling all too well.

“Was there a family that was particularly upset with your partner?”

“We work sex crimes, Agent Morgan,” Max answered, a note of irony slipping into his voice. “There are people out there who firmly believe their victims deserve what they get.”

“Did Reese talk to her family?” Morgan asked. “Anybody outside the precinct?”

“She talked to me,” Max answered. “In the car mostly, but we went out to lunch sometimes. I think I was her only friend.”

“Can you think of any reason, any at all, that would make Reese a target?” Morrow asked.

“No,” Max admitted honestly. “Even in the last six months I can’t think of a controversial case we’ve handled, or even testified in. And Reese spent way too much time at her desk to be seeing anybody.”

Logically, Max knew that these questions had to be asked, but they didn’t feel like it was helping. It was an odd feeling for him, to be on the other side of the table and be questioned instead of doing the questioning. It was difficult too. “Reese helped a lot of people. She was the one you went to if you had a female victim that wouldn’t cooperate. There was something about her that people just gravitated to. She just kept to herself, that was all.”

“You filed the missing persons?” Morrow asked.

Max nodded. “Reese missed a shift. The woman never took a day off let alone missed a shift. She volunteered at a community center when she wasn’t working. When they hadn’t seen her, I knew something was off.”

“Where’s the community center?”

“East Monte Vista Drive. Reese lived in there. She talked about it all the time.” He watched the agents exchange a look. “She spoke highly of all of the people there, even took me by once. I don’t think anyone there wanted her dead.”

“Was there anyone she didn’t like? Anyone who thought she was in the way? Anyone who thought she didn’t belong in the department?” Morrow asked carefully.

“There was a dinner a few months back, just before Christmas. Reese won an award of excellence, beat out a guy who was pretty vocal about how she shouldn’t have gotten it. Vaughan Tynan’s the guy’s name. Works in cyber crime.”

 

It was always difficult to talk to the families of victims. Emily compartmentalized with the best of them. Families knew nothing other than the grief they experienced at the loss of a loved one, unsubs were cruel heartless bastards. It was what helped her through cases. Still, every time they had to talk to a victim’s family – and she never thought of those that actually survived crimes – Emily’s heart did funny leaps and twists.

“Mr Raghnall, what was Erica doing when she went missing?” Aaron asked gently.

Andy Raghnall had red rims around his eyes, a testament to how his wife’s death was affecting him. Otherwise, Emily had to admit, he was an attractive man. He wore khakis and a polo, leaning forward on his elbows where they rested on his knees.

“She’d left to go to work,” he said. “She calls me-“ He stopped, closing his eyes. “She used to call me when she got to work.”

“You worried about her?”

“I always have. I… I never wanted anything to happen to her.”

Emily and Aaron exchanged a look. “When did you know she was missing?”

“She didn’t call. I called her captain – I know he doesn’t like it when his officers take personal calls, but I was worried – and no one in the unit had seen her at all.”

“Did your wife have anyone who was out to get her?” Emily asked. “Anyone you could think of who would want her dead?”

“She worked in the gang unit. There were plenty of people who would want her out of commission.”

“Anyone in particular? Anyone you can single out?”

Mr Raghnall sighed. “Not dead, no. Erica… she was a special type of officer. Her sister… when they were teenagers her sister was in a gang. She didn’t exactly have the best childhood. Her parents were never around, Candace, that’s her sister, got involved when she was young…”

Both Emily and Aaron knew where he was coming from. Many of their unsubs, many people who fell into a criminal lifestyle, followed the same problem.

“But Erica… she didn’t want to be like her sister. She worked hard to get where she was and there wasn’t another unit for her. She wanted the gang unit more than anything,” he continued, twisting a tissue in his hands. “She knew how to get through to those kids. I don’t know how she does it, no one’s really sure how she does it, but… she had a gift.”

A knock on the door startled all three of them. Reid poked his head in with an apologetic look. “Sorry. Mr Raghnall, could your wife cook?”

Aaron raised an eyebrow at the young doctor. He had that gleam in his eye that said he was on to something and Aaron had never known Reid to ask a question that didn’t have significance. At least not during a case.

Mr Raghnall shook his head with an affectionate smile. “Not to save her life. She tried every year, but she could burn water.”

Reid nodded, putting that piece into the puzzle in his mind. “I think I’ve got something.”

 

The team gathered in the conference room where Reid had tacked up the letters. Reid was pacing the front of the room, the way he did when his brain was moving faster than anything else around him.

“What is it, Reid?” Hotch asked, taking a seat at the table.

“I figured out these notes,” Reid replied, waving at them. “They’re handwritten Morse Code.”

Morgan raised an eyebrow. “What now?”

“Morse Code,” Reid repeated. “The lines and dots signal a long tone or a short one, respectively. With a little help from Garcia we translated all three of them. They’re all quotations.”

He’d written all three of them under their respective notes in the order they were found. 

**Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.**

**Women upset everything.**

**Fresh clean sheets are one of life’s small joys.**

“And this led to a revelation?” Morrow asked, skeptical.

“Well, first of all, the second one is only part of George Bernard Shaw’s words,” Reid said. “He goes on to say ‘when you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you’re driving at another’, but I don’t think that suited his purposes.”

“Which was why he left it out,” JJ agreed, hanging onto Reid’s words.

“Most likely. It was Michelle Pegeen’s quotation that made me realize something. What if the significance of the duster, the frying pan and the pillowcase signified how they died and _why_.”

“Why? You figured out why?” Hotch asked. Reid often pulled miracles, but this was something that surprised all of them.

“I checked the autopsy reports and Reese Joshlynn had some sort of residue in her mouth. When they tested it, they concluded it was feathers.”

“She was choked to death with the feather duster?” Emily asked, tapping her pen on a stack of papers to muffle the sound.

“We’d probably find her DNA on it, yes,” Reid agreed. “Erica Raghnall was bludgeoned to death-“

“With the frying pan,” Emily picked up. “That’s why you came in to ask if she could cook.” She knew where Reid was going.

“I don’t get it,” Morgan said. “What does that have to do with anything.”

“He’s created the idyllic out of something that isn’t. His trigger is when they can’t do what he asks them to. They can’t cook, so they don’t fit his model-“

“And he kills them,” Hotch finished.

“Exactly.”

“Reese Joshlynn’s apartment was a mess,” Shaw volunteered. “Max always said she was organized chaos.”

“Erica Raghnall couldn’t cook,” Reid jumped in, his voice that excited tone that he got when they’d put something together. “And I wouldn’t be surprised if Michelle Pegeen had never done laundry before.”

Morrow was nodding slowly. “Suffocated with a pillowcase.”

“What does that tell us?” Coop asked, leaning against the wall.

“A lot,” Hotch replied.

“He idolizes the ideal woman, the one that cooks and cleans, does the laundry… the type of woman that stays home all day to take care of her man,” Emily picked up.

“It’s in the way he dresses them,” Morgan continued. “And in the way he kills them.”

“But why?” Shaw asked.

“He probably has a problem with women in law enforcement. He’s probably had a bad encounter with female officers before and it’s made him hate them all,” Morgan replied.

“So he kidnaps them and kills them?” Coop inquired, still not fully believing what was going on around him.

“He keeps them for a while, probably tries to figure out if they can follow that traditional model. Then, when he finds a deficiency and it bothers him enough, he loses his cool and kills them,” Emily tried to explain. “Like Erica Raghnall. He probably asked her to cook a meal and when she couldn’t fit that idyllic model, he lost his temper and bludgeoned her to death.”

“It’s almost like two different profiles,” Emily said shaking her head.

“But he’s probably not bipolar or multiple personality,” Reid spoke up.

Emily nodded her agreement. “I’m saying it _looks_ like it, not that it is.”

“He wants attention. Why? So he can see what he’s done?” Morgan asked.

“It’s his release,” Morrow suggested. “He sees his work splayed across the front page and sees it as a success, as a way to warn other women out of a job he feels they don’t belong in.”

“Some of our officers have beat out males that are larger than they are to get their posts,” Shaw defended. “We take the women because they can do the job and in some cases, can do it better than men can.”

“It tells us his focus is more than just finding women who do not fit an old version of their gender role,” Hotch said.

Shaw looked at each of the agents. “Does it help?”

Reid nodded enthusiastically. “It does.”

Shaw’s nod was less energetic than Reid’s. “Then that’s what matters.”


	48. Chapter 48

If there was anyone in the world Penelope Garcia knew better than she knew herself, it was Derek Morgan. JJ came a close second, but there was no one in the world she found easier to read than Derek. She’d asked herself why once, and given herself a headache, but ended up assuming it was because he wanted her to know. And that worked just fine for her.

It did mean that when they found a particularly rough case, she was the first one to be able to tell how it was affecting him. This time, however, she didn’t need him to tell her and didn’t even need him to say hello for her to know it was a bad case. She’d seen the file, she’d been researching the lives of each of the victims, she knew before she even made first contact with the team that it was going to hit them all hard.

And she had to admit, part of her was very glad she was safely sequestered in her bunker in Quantico.

The other part of her, however, was screaming the opposite. She wanted to be there for Derek, more so since she’d had that afternoon with his mother and sisters. She’d learned a lot about him from Fran and it had only made her love him more. But, there was no reason for her to go with them. Even Penelope, even I she didn’t exactly like the idea, knew she was safer as far away from the guy as possible.

She hit the speed dial for his cell phone, her fingers tapping absently on the desk in front of her.

“Hey Mama.”

‘Mama’ was never a good sign. “Hey there, Hot Stuff.”

“You got something for us?”

Clue number two: there was no teasing on his end. “At a cost.” She knew he’d give her pretty much anything.

“What?”

“When we’re done with the professional we talk about the personal.”

There was silence on his end and she had a feeling he was doing mental calculations to figure out if there was a time he could get away from the team to talk to her. “I don’t know when…”

She could almost see him run a hand over his head as he sighed.

“This is a bad one.”

“I know, Gorgeous. So, I’ve been crossing the names of our three known vics and then Zoe Duyen, our missing girl, and there’s nothing all four of them have in common. Reese Joshlynn and Michelle Pegeen had both been in to voluntarily see the department shrink. Ms. Duyen, Ms. Joshlynn and Mrs Raghnall all received the same recognition for their work in the community with different organizations.”

“Any organizations in common?”

“Nope, sorry my chocolate Adonis. YMCA, GLBTQ and a shelter for teens.”

“Thanks, I’ll relay that to Hotch.”

When he paused, she knew there was something bothering him.

“Penelope?”

“Yes?”

“I’m glad you’re not here.”

In any other situation she was sure she’d be offended by his words. However, she knew what he meant. It made her stomach do flips with the effect of his concern. “Me too.”

 

Part of the natural habits of the BAU was that they lived out of their bags and only brought things that could be quickly washed in a sink. Thus, it never took them long to get settled in their rooms, but Emily and JJ enjoyed the opportunity to leave things in the bathroom. The first thing JJ had done upon entering the room was to unlock and open the door that joined their room to Morgan and Spencer’s.

She was glad she and Spencer had taken the opportunity to fix things between them. With the understandable way Hotch had assigned partners, she was sure things would be a little bit awkward if they hadn’t solved their issue.

“JJ, do you think the partner thing is a good idea?”

The blond hadn’t exactly been expecting a question like that and looked over at her roommate in surprise. “What?”

Emily sighed. “I just…. Is it a good idea that we’re paired in couples?”

“You noticed that too.”

“It’s kind of hard to miss,” Emily replied with a rueful smile. “I’m just… Will we be able to do our jobs?”

“Of course we will,” JJ reassured. “They guys know we’re good agents and they know we can take care of ourselves.”

“Then why are we paired off? Why can’t you and I stay behind in the precinct?”

“I don’t think they’d be worried about us staying in a building with a bunch of armed police officers,” JJ pointed out logically.

Emily rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“I think for the moment you’re overreacting,” JJ said honestly. “They want us to be safe and honestly, I don’t think there’s too many people I’d trust with my life more than I would Spencer Reid.”

But JJ knew there was more to the subject than that. Emily rarely gave any insight to her personal feelings on a case unless she was angry or frustrated with a decision and it seemed obvious to the blond that there was something wrong. Something wasn’t sitting right with the brunette agent. “Em, what’s up?”

“I’m just not sure being directly paired with people we’re attracted to and people we care deeply about is really the right way to go.”

“You’re afraid Hotch is going to smother you?”

Emily sighed. It sounded terrible when put like that. “I’m afraid he’s going to get too protective for me to do my job.”

JJ didn’t have an argument for that. She knew she and Spencer were on the same page. “We have to try, don’t we? I mean, is there anyone else you’d really like to have your back?”

That was definitely not an easy question to answer. She trusted the whole team period, end of discussion, but that didn’t mean that there was a certain amount of comfort that came with Aaron specifically being the one watching her back. Nevertheless, she’d heard many-a-story of agents that had been injured or unsubs that had gotten away because their feelings had clouded their professional judgement.

“Look, Em, I think you’re looking at this the wrong way. I think that this will be a benefit to all of us. Plus, if there’s a problem we can always mix things up,” JJ said, trying to be the rational mind. She knew that Emily had no reason to react or overreact just yet. JJ was the type to, in some sense, play things by ear, especially while on cases. No one ever knew how long they’d be gone or anything like that. She’d learned that going with the flow was the only way she was going to get anything done.

“I…” Emily began, stopping and twisting her fingers in her lap. “I don’t want this to ruin anything.”

“We just started the case. Until we know that the guy is going after law enforcement in general versus going after Tucson law enforcement we can see if this works.”

Emily nodded on a sigh. She sent JJ a smile. “I’m going to head down to get something to eat.”

“I’ll be down in a minute,” JJ agreed. She waited until Emily closed the door before dropping on the bed.

She had her own reservations about Hotch’s choice of pairing, Her feelings for Spencer were strong, had grown stronger as they helped each other deal with all sorts of issues, fears, anxieties… She knew that either of them would put themselves on the line for the other in an instant, no questions asked. But she and Spence weren’t in the same situation as Emily and Aaron was.

Most of the time, Spence didn’t want to step in front of an unsub for fear of being injured. It wasn’t exactly his thing. Hotch and Emily, on the other hand, put themselves in danger all the time and they didn’t really think twice. On this case, however, there was so much more underlying what they were doing, so much more to handle and deal with. Hotch was terribly protective of Emily and there was the distinct possibility that his protectiveness could affect their case or, more specifically, Emily.

JJ knew Emily valued her independence. She always have and it was something JJ respected of her colleague. Somehow, Emily and Hotch had managed to find some sort of balance between their lives. Up to this point, they hadn’t had any issues that were visible on cases or in the office. They rarely even shared a room while on cases, simply because of propriety and because it gave them time to reorient themselves on cases. That didn’t mean that there were times they skipped out on team dinners to catch one together.

This one, however, was one that had been eating at them before they’d even stepped on the plane and JJ hadn’t spent so much time with profilers and not picked something up on watching behaviour. None of them wanted anyone else to go missing, get hurt or anything like that. Instead, they wanted this to go off without a hitch. But that hitch had already been thrown in. JJ could only vaguely understand Emily’s worry.

But there was nothing anyone could do about it, really. They protected their own, no matter the cost. She was just worried that the cost this time could become a little too high.

 

Emily looked down as she knocked on Aaron’s door. Her talk with JJ had done nothing to assuage her worries. Going into a case with emotions running high was never healthy and Emily preferred to do it as little as possible. It was why she and Aaron tried to solve everything before they left the house or before they had to do anything that would require their full concentration.

She looked up as he opened the door and knew that his feelings were doing the same roller coaster ride hers were. Over their time together he became less of a closed book than he’d been almost a year prior. He let her in without a word. She took four steps inside and turned to face him, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I don’t like this,” she said softly, trying to focus on rational thoughts.

“This?”

She sighed. “The case, the partner assignments…I think we’re playing with fire.”

Aaron stepped closer to her, reaching out to brush a hand down her upper arm. “You think I’m going to step on you?”

“No… Yes… Maybe,” Emily answered uncertainly. “I think that there’s too much potential of our relationship getting in the way of our work.”

It was a valid concern. It was also a surprising insight into what she was feeling. “We’ve done it before.”

“This null and voids the whole point of keeping it out of the office.”

He chuckled. “It had to end sometime.”

She allowed him to step closer, shrinking the distance between them to a few inches. “We can’t let this…”

“I know.” When she let out a deep sigh and leaned slightly towards him, Aaron knew she was feeling insecure and he knew there was something potentially deep bothering her. When she looked up at him, Aaron knew Emily was about to say something about their relationship.

“I can’t let this tear us apart,” she whispered something.

He cupped her cheek in his hand. “I won’t let it.”

Even when he kissed her, she didn’t quite believe him.


	49. Chapter 49

The next two weeks rushed by in a blur of bodies, death, and casework. Every single person was so completely exhausted, Aaron wasn’t sure any of them could take much more of it. And if he was honest with himself, they were no closer to catching the guy than when they’d started. He’d wanted to keep it, and subsequently JJ, out of the media’s eye for as long as possible but as he looked over files late one night, running a hand through his hair, he had a gut feeling that it wasn’t going to be plausible for much longer.

The fact that he and Emily had gone through a major blow up a couple of days earlier didn’t help much either. He was at the end of his rope emotionally. Emily had distanced herself from him since the fight and while he understood why she did it, it was really grating on him. There were very little upsides to working with JJ when he knew Emily was off with someone else. Not that he didn’t trust Morgan with Emily’s life.

And he probably had gotten a little overprotective. He hadn’t given her any time to herself, hadn’t given her any kind of break from the job or from him. He knew her inside out and knew she needed a little bit of time to decompress. Aaron worried about his team and even more so about Emily. It was a reaction that he couldn’t help.

A soft knock on his door startled him out of his thoughts. He was partially thankful. He’d gone down a serious bunny trail from looking at the case. He sighed as he moved the files to open the door and got a pleasant surprise at the presence on the other side.

Emily was pulling at one of his old t-shirts as she stood almost awkwardly in the doorway. “JJ crawled in with Spencer.”

Which had left her all alone in her room. He stepped back and pulled the door the rest of the way open, letting her into the room.

She took one look around and shook her head. “You should be sleeping, Aaron.”

Something in his heart clenched when she said that. It meant she cared, even if she was still mad at him. He sighed. “I think I owe you an apology.”

“No,” she disagreed. “If anyone should apologize, I should. You were just doing your job, you were trying to make sure I was always safe.”

“I worry about you,” he said, his hand trailing down her arm.

“I know. I worry about you too. But-”

“We’re both agents. We’re both here to do our jobs.”

“And we’re too damned good at our job to let our relationship affect them now,” she agreed.

He ran a hand through his hair, displeasure more than obvious. She stepped closer, into his personal bubble, forcing her chin to tilt so she could keep eye contact. Aaron’s arm subconsciously wrapped around her waist, absorbing her warmth and the comfort of her presence.

“What are we going to do?” she asked softly.

“About us?”

“And about the case.”

Aaron pulled her against him, tucking her head under his chin. “We’ll be okay,” he said finally, after a few seconds of silence. They had to be okay. He couldn’t lose her, a scary thought he hoped to live to analyze another day.

“And the case?”

“I got a text from Garcia in Quantico. She has something.”

Emily’s eyes sparked. “And?”

“She says it’s too much to explain from Quantico. She wants to come here.”

“You didn’t let her, did you?”

Aaron looked down into her dark eyes the answer obvious. Who on earth could really argue with Penelope Garcia when she had her mind set on something? “She threatened to fly commercial if she couldn’t get the jet.”

“That sounds like Pen,” Emily said on a rueful sigh. “Derek’s not going to be happy.”

“Morgan’ll just have to suffer with the rest of us,” Aaron replied, pulling Emily a little bit closer.

Suddenly, she let out a huge yawn and met his eyes in embarrassment. “What? You’re comfy and safe. Now I’m sleepy again.”

“Then by all means,” he said, chuckling. “Let’s get you in bed.”

 

Penelope Garcia hadn’t slept a wink on the plane, nor had she bothered to even think about catching a little shut eye. She was already in the room the team was using when Derek Morgan stepped in. Part of her wasn’t surprised to see her white knight in first, but the majority of her was. “Good morning, Sunshine.”

It took Derek a few minutes to realize it was really her and the response she got hadn’t been what she had expected.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“What?” she replied with a pout. “You’re not happy to see me?”

“Not in the midst of a case like this. I thought you were staying in Quantico.”

“And then there was no way I was staying there when you all needed me here,” she answered, her nose tilting in the air slightly.

“Mamma, you were safe in Quantico.”

Penelope wouldn’t meet his gaze. She’d known, logically, that coming to Tuscon was a bad idea. The case was all about women, all about law enforcement, and she knew that there were now five dead women. There were other things that Spencer had let her in on during his few breaks in between briefings, interviews, interrogations…

For one thing, the guy concentrated on cops. They had yet to figure out why, but with two more victims – Zoe Duyen, and Olivia Cole, the former from being drowned with a blow up doll for floatation device and the latter bleeding to death from internal injuries – their time span was getting shorter and shorter. Not to mention that even Penelope saw it as their unsub escalating and escalating quickly. Zoe had been missing for a week. Olivia had been missing for five days.

Spencer had also had her look at the notes, not for hand writing, not for psycholinguistics, but to research where it could be possible to find anything that would have helped the guy translate Morse Code so completely. She’d shivered as she read the next two notes:

**[Feminism is] a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians – Pat Robertson**

**Outings are so much fun when we can savour them through the children’s eyes – Lawana Blackwell**

“I’m here now,” she told him frankly, not meeting his eyes. “What did I miss?”

Derek had a million things racing through his mind. While he was elated Penelope was there with him – in the newly minted world of couples, it seemed – it churned his gut to think that she could end up in the line of fire. Part of him knew it was a little bit of a stretch, especially since she was removed from law enforcement, but that didn’t seem to help the nerves now shooting adrenaline through him.

Nevertheless, he knew better than to argue with Penelope Garcia. And now that she was there, there was no use trying to get her to go back.

“Zoe Duyen was most likely killed for being a lesbian.”

Penelope nodded. “The quote makes sense now.”

“So does the blow up doll she was found with. She and her girlfriend Heather had been together for almost a year. They moved in together four months ago,” Derek told her, pulling out a chair.

She watched his movements out of the corner of her eyes, watching the cat-like grace he always exhibited. “Ouch.”

“Thing is, none of her colleagues on the hostage/crisis team knew. The only person Zoe had told was her best friend, Mari Gajijens.”

“At this rate I’m going to have to make tables to keep track of all of the names,” Penelope quipped. “What about Olivia Cole?”

“The guy beat her to death,” Derek said shaking his head. “Punched her in the lower abdomen until the pain made her pass out. Internal bleeding from those injuries were what killed her. We talked to her husband, Raymond. He said they’d been trying to have children and couldn’t.”

That made Penelope stiffen. From her job’s perspective, from the logic that her job used, she understood. But it didn’t mean it was any less disturbing to think about. Especially since it was something that some women simply couldn’t help. “Health issue?”

“Hers, yeah. They were looking at adoption before she was taken.”

Penelope nodded absently. “And you?”

“What about me?”

How perfectly Derek Morgan, thinking about everything else before taking a minute to consider that maybe he wasn’t okay. “How are you holding up? How is everyone else?”

Sometimes he forgot that she wasn’t in the thick of things with all of them. She kept in touch so closely that sometimes he forgot that she didn’t _see_. She heard, yes, but rarely did she get the first-hand chance to see the team’s reactions.

“Hotch and Em had a blow up,” he admitted.

“No!”

Derek nodded ruefully. He was a quiet cheerleader for the relationship, if only because it seemed to make the team work even better together. The tension had dropped substantially since they’d finally admitted they were attracted to each other and even Derek had to admit that Emily had some sort of healing touch when it came to their normally aloof boss.

“About what?”

“Emily wanted space, Hotch wanted her safe.”

“Ah. I always knew that was going to come into conflict,” Penelope responded with an all-knowing nod of her head. “Are they okay?”

“As of bed time last night, no, but I heard JJ crawl in with Reid last night and since Emily didn’t follow, I’m assuming she stayed with Hotch.”

Penelope grinned. “That’s my girl. What about _you_.”

“I felt a lot better when you were safely in Quantico,” Derek answered, honesty shining in his dark eyes.

It was enough to force Penelope to valiantly withhold a shiver. “I’m needed here,” she replied.

Derek sighed in annoyance, running a hand over his head. “Why can’t any of you seem to understand that we just want you to be safe?”

“Our job makes it so we’re never safe,” Penelope pointed out softly. “And mine rarely puts me in the line of fire.”

“You being here puts you in the line of fire,” Derek argued. His mind was racing with the fact that she was here, that she’d be walking the streets, that there was someone out there killing people.

“I’m going to leave this room to what? Thanks for being concerned Derek, but I think you’re overreacting.”

“I’m not overreacting.”

“You are,” she said. “How many times have we been on cases and we came out with it all in one piece.”

He knew she made a point and sighed as he stood up. “Baby Girl, your optimism is something I love about you. Coffee?”

He knew she didn’t drink coffee and so she wasn’t surprised that he didn’t wait for her answer. What did surprise her was how easily ‘love’ had slipped out of his mouth. Her entire body had stiffened at the words out of his mouth, much like it had when he’d originally told him he loved her.

She sighed, dropping her head in her hands. She had been teeter-tottering with their friendship-relationship since probably the day she’d met him. It baffled her mind that whatever they had was something that permeated their entire relationship. Their innuendo games, their ability to read each other, their commitment to their friendship… Derek had dropped everything to stay with her when Battle had shot her. She had wanted to do everything she possibly could to clear his name in Chicago.

And she had no idea of what to do now.


	50. Chapter 50

Emily wasn’t exactly sure if she was happy or unpleasantly surprised by Penelope’s presence in their conference room. She had slept extremely well the previous night and she felt much more balanced now that she knew she and Aaron were going to be okay.

“Morning Peaches,” Penelope greeted cheerfully as she typed away on her laptop.

“What are you doing here?” Emily asked, no derision in her voice. “This is a long way to fly.”

Emily and Aaron had been the last to arrive and Penelope had been in the process of cueing up the things she’d found. “I decided it would be easier to just work from here. I found something for you guys.”

Emily pulled up a chair. She knew it was fruitless to argue with her friend in the midst of a case, danger or not. “Then by all means.”

Penelope grinned for a split second before turning serious. “So, I was running the names of our victims through databases, newspapers, anything and everything under the sun and I came across something very interesting.”

“Spit it out, Garcia,” Aaron pushed.

“They were all in the same newspaper column,” Penelope answered without flourish.

Derek raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

“Outstanding contributions to their communities,” the blond responded, still typing. “In the crime section.”

“That’s an odd place for praise to come from,” JJ voiced, leaning forward in her chair. “They’re usually too fixated on reporting the crime instead of praising the cops that do the work.”

“Even journalists can have an optimistic streak?” Morrow offered, though it was obvious she didn’t believe it.

“I can make a few calls,” JJ offered.

“No need, my dear overworked media brilliance,” Penelope responded with a grin. “I took the liberty of phoning up a few of the reporters on the crime desk.”

“And?” Aaron asked, getting slightly impatient. The sooner they had a concrete suspect the sooner they could solve the case and the sooner Emily and the others would be back to safety.

“They were all ghost written,” the blond answered. “By a reporter by the name of Bernard Dell.”

 

Nick expected many things when working a murder case. He expected death, he expected uncomfortable pictures, he expected nightmares, he expected to comfort grieving family members. This time, however, he had not anticipated or expected the use of the BAU. And it had turned out spectacularly in his favour.

Bernard Dell, “Bernie” as he was known around the precinct, was someone every cop on the force had dealt with. The man had slowly risen in the ranks of the paper until he got his coveted position as one of the elite members of the crime desk. He was ruthless, and that was what made him exceptionally good at his job.

But his background wasn’t all sunshine and happy bunnies. On the contrary, the man had a past that made it obvious as to why he’d gone into the crime reporting to begin with and why he held onto his job – and his definition of truth – with everything in him. The technical analyst that had come in from Quantico had found the connection with surprising ease and it only made Nick respect the BAU more.

Bernard Dell had a brother. Well, past tense anyway, and it had been an officer by the name of Alexandra Osborne that had put the young man away. Her testimony had been what the case had hinged on and the main reason for the conviction. Suddenly it wasn’t so surprising that there was such a resentment of women. Nor did it surprise him that he felt women did not belong in law enforcement.

What had surprised him was how they’d come to the conclusion. The case had seamlessly fit together in ways Nick hadn’t even been the slightest bit prepared for. It had shocked him to see how bang on the profile of the guy was. He was white, mid-twenties to mid-thirties, resented women, probably because of a past with one. The bit about blaming it on his mother had been off, but the part where he’d been involved with law enforcement had been dead on. Bernie had testified for the defence as to his brother’s character.

Bernie, however, had been brainwashed. There were a million statements testifying to his brother’s involvement with the gang subsequently accused of killing the man the elder Dell brother had been incarcerated for. The evidence that had since turned up – and had been processed, thanks to the FBI – was even more effective in proving that Eddie Dell had indeed been the one to beat their victim to death.

The sad part had been the aftermath and it made even more sense in connecting Bernie’s resentment of women in law enforcement to his actions now. Eddie Dell had been brutally and fatally stabbed during a prison riot. Even the persecution of those responsible hadn’t diminished Bernie’s feelings of hatred towards law enforcement.

It didn’t help that Nick had known old Ben Dell and his tastes towards the female gender. Ben Dell had grown up in a time where women were obedient and lived under the thumb of their husbands. The woman’s only job was to pump out and take care of children. His views had not changed with the times and his sons had grown up with the mentality. Which made Bernie even more furious about Officer Osborne’s arrest and conviction, according to the BAU.

“Shaw! We have a problem.”

Nick turned to his partner, eyebrow raised. “Coop, how can we have a problem?”

“Bernie Dell’s nowhere to be found.”

 

JJ couldn’t sleep.

There were way too many things running through her head for her to even consider it, the topmost being the fact that their unsub, though they knew who he was, had flown the coop. And rather spectacularly if she could say so herself. There was no sign of him anywhere and he’d left everything that could be recognized as his behind.

And he still had Jo Sile, their latest victim with an ex-husband and 2 young girls. That connection hadn’t been all that difficult to figure out. After all, a women divorced was one who obviously didn’t follow the code. All JJ could hope for was that they’d find the woman in time. She didn’t want to leave a five and seven-year-old without a maternal figure. And even though they were divorced Hank Sile seemed just as determined to make sure Holly and Ellen had their mother at the end of this.

“JJ go to sleep.”

The blond sighed. She should have known that Spencer would be aware of her tossing and turning. “I can’t.”

He was being hypocritical and he knew it. Hotch had woefully informed JJ earlier that day that a press conference with full televised support was the only way they were going to get anything done. They had nothing to go on but a picture and description of the man and Jo Sile. JJ was going to have to plead with the public to give them a hand and it worried Spencer like nothing else. It was going to put JJ directly into the line of fire. “You have to.”

JJ sighed and rolled over, resting half of her body on top of his. “My ass is on the line tomorrow.”

Spencer almost jumped. JJ didn’t swear often, even something as mundane as ‘ass’. “I know.”

“And?”

He could tell from the single word everything she didn’t say. He sighed. “What do you want me to say, JJ?”

She would do her job and she would do it well, like she had every other time she’d had to get up in front of reporters and news cameras. She would shove aside the fact that she was a blatant target, the only face the team often put forward. She knew the power she held in that position, but she also had a vague understanding of the danger it entailed. And there was nothing she really wanted more, especially in this situation, than to keep herself out of danger. “I don’t know.”

He knew she didn’t. She didn’t want him to ask her to step away from the public eye. She didn’t want him to ask her not to do her job. If she had wanted him to ask, it would just be to pick a fight, not so anything could come of it. Her job was her job and until she didn’t understand or ignored the risks, he wouldn’t ask her to give up something like that. Jennifer Jareau not only loved her job, but was dedicated to it and it was that dedication that had attracted Spencer in the first place.

“I don’t like this,” she said softly.

Her voice startled him just a little. “I don’t either.”

“But I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t think there’s anything we can do,” he admitted. “Not now anyway.”

There was nothing they could have done before either, and they both knew it.

“It’s not like I haven’t been the center of attention before,” she said softly, her fingers absently tapping at Spencer’s chest.

The case of the Fisher King rose unbidden to his mind. “True.”

JJ took in a deep breath. “The whole team will be there the whole time.”

“We will,” he agreed, his fingers tracing at her lower back in an attempt to calm her down. It was going to give _him_ nightmares if she didn’t ease up soon. “Nothing will happen to you, Jenn.”

She tilted her face to meet his eyes in surprise. “What did you just call me?”

Spencer blushed. The name had slipped out without a second thought. “I’m sorry…” he began to sputter.

“I haven’t been called Jenn in a long time,” she said softly.

“It slipped out. I-“

“I like it.”

He looked down at her, noticing her blush. An echoing heat rose in his own cheeks. “Oh.”

“But…” she said. “Just between you and me.”

Spencer smiled. She called him ‘Spence’. She was the only person who ever called him ‘Spence’. And now he could call her ‘Jenn’. For some reason it made him feel a little bit better about the lion’s den they’d be walking into tomorrow.


	51. Chapter 51

Derek knew Penelope didn’t sleep, but this was just ridiculous. He himself was a light sleeper and so when his blond goddess had climbed out of bed it had inadvertently woken him. He assumed she was just heading to the bathroom, but when she hadn’t passed his bed, Derek assumed she’d chosen a different position.

Now, twenty minutes later, she hadn’t climbed back into bed and Derek was a little concerned. He moved quietly so as to not wake Reid or JJ but loud enough that his approach didn’t startle her.

“What’s on your mind, Baby Girl?”

Penelope glanced up at him as he took a seat on the small table in front of her. “Nothing,” she lied softly, going for the most comforting smile she could muster. “Go back to bed. Get some sleep.”

Derek sighed, reaching out a hand to grasp hers. “Don’t lie to me, Princess. Not here, not now.”

“There’s… Jayje is going out there tomorrow,” she said softly, focusing on the warmed of his hand encasing hers.

“She’s done it before,” Derek pointed out. He was terrified for JJ, of course, but he trusted in her abilities. He had to, if only to avoid this kind of turmoil.

Penelope sighed. “Like this?”

Derek let his thumb stroke over the soft skin of the back of her hand. “We’ll all be there, Penelope. We won’t let anything happen to her.”

“I just… I couldn’t be that far away.”

He wasn’t sure if she realized that she’d changed the subject but he wasn’t about to change it back to the danger of the upcoming day.

“Jayje, you… I couldn’t be in Quantico, away from everyone… I needed to be here.”

On impulse, Derek pulled her to her feet, pulling her into his arms, trying to ignore how right she felt in his arms. “We need you here,” he told her. “But you were safer in Virginia.”

Penelope pulled away, tilting her head up to meet his gaze. “I would feel worse if something happened and I was safely in my bunker.”

He sighed, well aware that her fears were well-founded. “Pen, you need to try and get some sleep.”

Penelope’s heart rate was beating erratically as his arms flexed around her form. “I don’t sleep on cases, Hot Stuff, you know that.”

“You need to try,” he cajoled. “Come on, Mama.”

She reluctantly climbed back into bed, pulling the blanket up. As Derek tried to move back to his own bed, she caught his hand. “Stay?”

Derek almost groaned, knowing exactly what she meant. “My bed is three feet away, Goddess.”

“With me, Derek. Please?”

He would move heaven and earth for the woman lying on the bed before him, and there was no way he’d be able to resist her. He climbed in slowly as she moved to accommodate him. Once he was settled, she surprised him again by rolling against him, snuggling in close.

Derek knew it would be a long night.

 

Aaron was wide awake, his mind whirling. Emily had fallen asleep as soon as her head had hit the pillow and even with her soft body beside him, Aaron couldn’t seem to turn his mind off. He sighed for the millionth time since he and Emily had hunkered down. His mind was full of the possible scenarios of their upcoming day. He’d tried to convince himself that they’d been left with no other choice, that a live, televised press conference was the only way to go.

But he knew he was putting JJ in a precarious position. He hated putting one of his teammates in the direct line of fire, especially someone on his team he perceived as vulnerable. JJ, though she’d proven herself a good agent time and time again, was one of those teammates. He was always protective of his team, of his family.

“You’re fussing.”

Her voice surprised him. “I thought you were asleep.”

Emily pushed herself up to rest her head over his heart, an arm around his stomach. “What’s on your mind?”

Aaron shifted her, pulling her entire body on top of his, tucking his hand under his t-shirt to rest on her skin. “There has to be another way.”

Emily hunkered down, snuggling into his warmth. “We’ve exhausted everything. We’ve tried to see if we could find a way to avoid putting JJ out there.” She was as terrified for JJ too, but it was a peril of the job.

“There has to be,” Aaron insisted.

“Aaron,” Emily said in affectionate exasperation. “This is as thoroughly planned as an invasion of a foreign country.”

“How are you so calm?”

“Danger is in the job,” she answered. “JJ knew that this was coming. We’ve done all we can from behind the scenes.” She almost rolled her eyes when he still lay stiffly beneath her. “Every officer has this guy’s picture. Every officer will be there tomorrow. These are their own people at stake.”

“It’s our people at stake,” Aaron contradicted. “JJ…”

“Has more protection than my mother ever had.”

He met her eyes in the dark. “You’ve compartmentalized.”

“Naturally,” she said with a smile, kissing him gently. “Sleep, Aaron. Fuss in the morning.”

It still took him forty-five minutes to drift off.

 

Spencer looked down at JJ’s head buried in blankets and sighed. He’d spent the better part of the last ten minutes trying to get her out of bed. JJ, however, was surprisingly stubborn when she wanted to be.

“Jenn, you need to get up.”

“Five more minutes,” JJ groaned.

Spencer reached down, peeling the blanket back to her waist. “Come on.”

JJ sighed. “Can we just fast-forward through the day?”

 _I wish_ , Spencer thought to himself. “What happened to the woman who could stand up to anything?”

“She went on vacation,” JJ groaned.

Spencer jumped at the loud sound of clapping that preceded the happy face of Penelope from the other room.

“Come on, Girl. Today’s a beautiful day.”

JJ lifted her head to glare at the other blond. “How are you awake?”

“I’m always awake,” Penelope responded cheerfully as she all but shoved Spencer out the door. “Why aren’t you?”

JJ sat up as Penelope settled beside her. “I was fine last night,” she lied. “Well… I’d accepted that I was going to have to do it.”

Penelope waved as Emily returned to change her clothes. “Okay. So what happened?”

“I don’t know,” JJ answered. “I don’t have anything to be afraid of. There’s no way the guy can get in… There’s no reason for me to be afraid.”

“But you are.”

The smaller blond ran a hand through her still mussed hair. “I’m terrified. Something is telling me that things are going to go wrong.”

“With our fantastic team of superheroes behind you? Of course not,” Penelope said, trying for reassurance.

Emily stepped in then, looking fresh and functional, hair back in a ponytail. “Morning. Everyone went down for breakfast.” Then she saw JJ’s slightly dejected face. “Uh oh.”

“I’ve never been this nervous about going on TV since I did my first conference for the FBI,” JJ said, rubbing at her forehead.

The brunette cocked her head to the side. “We’re not even sure he’s still in the city, Jayje.”

“Logic isn’t helping me today,” JJ said on a sigh as she pulled herself out of bed. “I’ll be out in ten minutes.”

 

The hair on Emily’s neck was standing uncomfortably on end as she stood by the entrance to the precinct. She and Derek stood shoulder-to-shoulder just in front of the podium JJ would soon be behind. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Derek nudged her elbow. “You okay?” He knew all of the signs of an uncomfortable Emily Prentiss.

“Something’s off,” she said, her eyes scanning the crowd for the hundredth time.

But there was no time to do anything about her worries. JJ stepped forward, her soft pink blouse and charcoal skirt emphasizing her humanity and vulnerability. She took to the podium, knees locked, the only sign of the veteran liaison’s nerves.

“I’m Special Agent Jennifer Jareau of the Behavioural Analysis Unit of the FBI. We, along with the hard working members of Tuscon’s homicide squad have found our primary suspect in the murders of Reese Joshlynn, Erica Raghnall, Michelle Pegeen, Zoe Duyen, and Olivia Cole as well as in the disappearance of Jo Sile.”

A murmur rose through the crowd, but JJ kept strong.

“We’re looking for reporter Bernard Dell. We believe he is responsible for the aforementioned crimes. We have not been able to find him. If you see him, please call the number on your screen. This will connect you to an FBI tipline. Please remember, this man has killed five Tuscon police officers, he is not someone to be trifled with. Are there any questions?”

Emily felt the hairs on her neck do a funny jig and resisted the urge to wipe a hand over her skin to calm them. Something wasn’t right. Even her gut was churching with the idea. Her body was shaking with the adrenaline of possibility, her mind and eyes restless as they searched the crowd of people. But she never thought to look behind her until it was too late.

“Nobody move or Agent Jareau is dead.”


	52. Chapter 52

It took every law enforcement agent less than ten seconds to withdraw their weapons, but Bernie was faster, even with a hostage. He’d backed himself quite thoroughly against a wall holding JJ between him and the drawn weapons, a standard police issue held to her head. Emily looked around frantically, finding the guilty face and trying not to huff. They’d been so bloody careful to try and ensure this type of thing didn’t happen, so much so that their hyper vigilance on the crowd had meant no one was keeping an eye on the rest of the place.

“Bernie, what are you doing?”

Emily had to admit, she was surprised by the calm in Shaw’s voice as the man posed the question. Her heart was beating erratically in her chest, her eyes locked on JJ’s terrified face.

“This is why sluts like her shouldn’t be in law enforcement!” Bernie yelled maniacally. “They can’t even protect themselves!”

“Maybe you’re right,” Shaw responded, still surprisingly calm. “But killing her isn’t going to make a difference.”

“Of course it will,” Bernie scoffed. “Another useless whore out of the way.”

Emily wasn’t sure which emotion was flooding her more, fear at the fate of her friend, or anger at the old-fashioned way Bernie was looking at her job. She and JJ, Morrow and Garcia had been forced to work just that little bit harder to get to where they were. They had to push just that little bit more, always outsmart the rest of their male counterparts. There was never room for mistakes.

“And what about the rest of them?” Shaw asked, slipping a note of curiosity in his voice.

Emily darted a glance over to the man, surprised at his steady calm, only to find his hands shaking. It made her feel a bit better. She vaguely remembered Aaron pulling him aside this morning and wondered if the man that had written the textbook on hostage negotiation had given lessons to the Tuscon cop. It wouldn’t surprise her. When his own team was on the line, Aaron didn’t want to be the negotiator, he wanted to be in the thick of the action.

“They too will fall. Useless broads. Can’t even get their stories straight. It’s stupid cunts like this that put innocent man in jail,” Bernie raved.

Emily watched out of the corner of her eye as Shaw cocked his head to the side.

“Innocent men, Bernie? A good cop doesn’t put away an innocent man.”

She resisted the urge to wince, hoping upon hope that his words wouldn’t trigger the rage inside Bernie Dell. The last thing she wanted to see was JJ injured, not when they’d worked so intensely hard to get to this point, to keep them all safe.

Morrow made her way over to them, staying behind the police line. “Anyone got eyes on Hotch?”

The question made Emily’s blood run cold, even more so than seeing JJ with a gun held to her head. “No.”

Derek shook his head. “Haven’t had eyes on him since he walked JJ to the edge of the platform,” he responded, not taking his eyes or aim off of their unsub. “Snipers?”

“They’re looking for Hotch’s go-ahead,” Morrow lamented, her eyes trained on Dell, her voice low.

“Go for it,” Derek and Emily hissed almost at the same time. Technically, Derek had seniority, but he chalked Emily’s own agreement up to her worry for her friend.

And in part, that was exactly what it was. Where the hell had Aaron gotten off to? It wasn’t like him to leave such a precarious situation and it definitely wasn’t like him to not be around when someone else was in danger. His hero complex was legendary and something that she both admired and hated.

Derek’s voice crackled in her ear and in her earpiece. “Hotch? Come in, Hotch.”

Nothing crackled in response and Emily felt her heart rate triple. In a place like this, a time like this, she wasn’t sure she like the idea of not knowing where Aaron was. In her panic, she’d zoned out what Shaw and Dell had started talking about, but she did tense when Dell pressed the gun closer to JJ’s temple. The poor woman was going to have at least a bruise to show for it.

If she made it out alive.

\--

He had no idea what had possessed him to do what he was currently doing. His eyes were trained on his agent and her captor, his brain working faster than the speed of light. He’d seen the tension in his team before they’d prepped for the conference, knew each and every one of them was feeling that something was off, that something was about to go wrong. Sometimes, even in their line of work, where their job was to observe simple human behaviour, you had to go with your gut.

And his had said to stay clear of the area, find a little spot just out of view, and wait for the fireworks.

It had paid off, in a manner of speaking. Bernard Dell had no idea he was there, watching, waiting, hoping for the right time to step in and end this once and for all. He’d heard Morgan’s call over his earpiece, but feared any noise on his part would draw Dell’s attention away from Shaw, a man doing a spectacular job at negotiating. When this case was closed, he made a mental note to talk to the Arizona native about working on hostage negotiation.

“She’s not even law enforcement,” he heard Shaw say, as if pointing out the obvious. “She’s a media liaison.”

“For the FBI,” Dell countered, his eyes glimmering. “She’s a cop.”

“She’s a federal agent,” Shaw corrected, changing his tactics once again. “You’re in for a world of trouble when this is over, Bernie.”

He knew what was coming next, had specifically prepped the detective for the next phase in the process. Shaw was about to poke the bear.

“Eddie wouldn’t want you doing something like that.”

He saw Dell’s eyebrows raise, his entire body tense and knew he was cutting off JJ’s valuable air supply. He knew the adrenaline of fear had frozen the blonde’s body, forcing all of her training out the window. With a gun held to your head, it was supremely difficult to stay calm so he didn’t begrudge her the missed opportunities.

“What the hell do you know about Eddie?”

“I know that no matter what he did – or didn’t do – he wouldn’t want you standing in front of forty armed officers choking a federal agent to death,” Shaw said frankly.

“He was an innocent man! That _bitch_ put him away.”

“You took Eddie’s death hard, didn’t you, Bernie,” Shaw said conversationally, lowering his weapon. “He was your brother, the guy you looked up to, the guy that could do no wrong.”

“He wouldn’t be dead if it wasn’t for your stupid cop whore,” Dell snapped. “If it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t have gone to jail!”

He tensed as the gun was pressed harder into JJ’s temple.

And then came the opportunity.

He didn’t hear what Shaw had said, didn’t know what exactly had been done to set Dell off in such a way, but the gun turned on Shaw and Aaron made his move, racing out from behind the corner to tackle Dell to the ground. Much to his surprise, Dell fought with strength, rolling the seasoned agent to his back and battling him for the gun. But Aaron’s training gave him more of an advantage, not to mention the Kevlar and it didn’t take much effort to flip their positions again.

They rolled and rolled, over to the edge of the concrete steps and down two or three while the rest of the crowd looked on with bated breath.

Then came the sound of a shot.

\--

Emily had to hold herself rigidly in check when she heard the gun go off, forcing herself to keep pace with Derek as they made their way over to where Aaron and Dell had disappeared over the edge of the steps. Neither one was moving, Aaron on top of Dell and Emily felt her breath catch in her throat. If he was dead, after doing something so stupidly heroic, she’d find a way to bring him back just to show him his entrails.

It was then she gave up all pretences of propriety, racing over to crouch down beside both men. It took her a minute to ascertain what had happened, that the gun had gone off into Dell’s chest rather than any part on Aaron’s body and she felt herself sag in release. She reached to check Dell’s pulse, unsurprised to find it non-existent. Then she moved to Aaron, almost collapsing when she found the feeling of blood pumping under his skin.

Aaron looked up at her, unsurprised to see tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. “JJ?”

Emily hadn’t even looked for her blond friend. She’d seen Spencer rush to her side out of the corner of  her eye and trusted that she was in good hands. “Reid’s got her. I have no idea…” she had to trail off, unable to hold in her emotions. “You’re going to need an ambulance.”

“I’m fine. A couple of bruises,” he argued quietly. He allowed her to help him up, a little hurt but understanding when she pulled away.

“You went down concrete stairs,” Emily replied, her tone brooking no argument. “You’re going to make sure that all of your ribs are okay and the only thing you have to deal with is bruises. Then I’m going to kick your ass.”


	53. Chapter 53

There was something to be said about the injustice of the unsub dying before his day in court. They had no doubt that there was some serious delusions in Bernard Dell’s head, but each and every person involved in the case wanted to see the man tarred and feathered in a court of law. JJ was going to have a few nasty bruises, but other than that she was going to be perfectly fine. Aaron had accumulated a few of his own black and blue spots from the edges of the large stairs, but he too would live to fight another day. Of course, that was barring Emily killing him right there and then.

They made their way back to the hotel in silence and in 2 cars. Emily drove while JJ and Reid cuddled in the back seat. Derek drove the other SUV with Penelope, Morrow and Hotch. It didn’t surprise Derek that Emily had chosen to ride in a separate car. This had been one of those times where asses had been on the line and not in the general sense. Something could have seriously happened to Hotch out there, something that could have been fatal and even Derek knew that Emily would have been devastated to lose him right when she’d found him.

What worried him was how she was going to handle the whole situation to begin with. As Emily’s best friend and surrogate brother, the woman had slowly become an open book to him. Her reaction to the lack of eyes on Hotch came as no surprise. Her reaction afterwards did. In fact, he’d been a little impressed she’d been able to hold back at all, let alone enough to keep pace with him, at least until the very end.

He’d never underestimate Emily’s abilities again. Not if she could focus on the case first and Hotch last. Sure, she hadn’t checked on JJ, but the woman wasn’t perfect. She was bound to make mistakes every once in a while. And this, Derek realized as he thought about it, really wasn’t a mistake. Emily had simply picked her battles, ordered her priorities and Derek knew that if it had been Penelope on the line like Hotch had been, she would be his first worry.

Derek froze. _Where the hell had that come from?_

**_You know exactly where that came from Derek Morgan._ **

Why on earth did his internal voice have to sound like his mother? _It doesn’t matter._

**_Why not? You’ve been in love with this girl since you met her. She’s everything to you._ **

_Even so, I won’t be responsible for spoiling her._

His inner self scoffed. **_Please. You’re not the fatalistic type. And look at the rest of the team, all paired off and happy. They can make it work, why can’t you?_**

 _I’d break her heart._ He chanced a glance at the blond on his mind in the rear-view mirror. She was untainted, with the exception of her ordeal with Battle and he wasn’t about to add more fuel to that fire. As if sensing his gaze, she looked up, locking her eyes on his and giving him a somewhat bright smile. His heart flip-flopped.

 ** _You’re so far gone it’s terrible,_** his inner voice argued. **_We all know it._**

Derek pulled smoothly into the parking lot of the hotel, watching Reid help JJ out of the back of the other car. Emily was already striding purposefully away, ignoring the rest of her team. Derek glanced over at Hotch, noticing the man’s stiff movements as he climbed out of the vehicle. Oh how part of him wished to be a fly on the wall for that particular confrontation.

He knew she’d stopped to stand beside him, even before he looked to his left to see her cocking her head in curiosity.

“You going to stay in there all night?”

Her eyes were haunted, a prospect that churned his insides. The last thing she wanted was for her to be uncomfortable. He knew it had everything to do with how close of a call not only JJ but Hotch had had that day and he wasn’t sure there was anything he could do to make her feel better. He climbed out of the SUV, unsurprised when she linked arms with him.

“You look a million miles away,” Penelope said softly as they wandered towards the hotel. The rest of the team was way ahead of them, but that didn’t seem to faze her one bit. She understood that they all had their own way of dealing with these situations and that, especially in this case, there were issues within the team to be resolved.

“We could have lost either one of them today,” he replied slowly, not looking at her. He didn’t open up often, and rarely to her about cases. She saw enough without having to deal with his baggage too. Usually these kind of talks were reserved for Emily, for his best friend. He glanced over when he felt her arm tighten marginally around his arm.

“But we didn’t.”

Her eyes were still shadowed and he knew that despite her bravado, she was thinking exactly the same thing. “Come on, Sweetness. Let’s get something to eat.” He shifted to wrap his arm around her shoulders as they made their way into the hotel, trying to ignore the way she snuggled in close.

 

JJ sat by the window of the hotel room she now shared with Spencer, just watching the wind rustle the leaves in the trees. She wasn’t sure how to react to the day’s events, wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be upset, angry, frustrated, scared… or all of the above.

Her head was pounding a little bit, the drugs the EMT gave her wearing off. She was going to have a gorgeous bruise on the side of her head, but there were no lasting physical injuries. Even the bruises on her neck would heal in time. She sighed, her hand coming up to stroke the red irritation around her throat. She could vividly remember the feeling of Bernard Dell’s arm pushing against her windpipe, vividly remember the feeling of the metal gun barrel pressed against her blond hair. She’d clung to Spencer in the aftermath, through the ride home, even while the EMT checked her for any serious injuries.

She hadn’t even heard the gunshot, but the news had floated her way. Bernard Dell was dead and if the gun had been rotated 90 degrees before going off, it would have been Hotch. She preferred to focus on the latter, to think about someone else’s injuries. That way, she didn’t have to think about how precariously close she’d come to dying.

JJ glanced up as Emily took a seat in front of her. Her friend looked a little worse for wear, lines showing around the corners of her eyes and mouth. JJ could tell she didn’t want to be alone, but she wasn’t calm enough to have a rational conversation with the one person JJ knew she wanted to go to. She allowed Emily to take her hand, squeezing reassuringly.

“How are you holding up?”

“No permanent damage,” JJ replied, managing a small smile.

“I know.”

“How are you?”

Emily sighed, turning her head to follow JJ’s gaze out the window. “Angry, frustrated, upset, scared.”

“Me too.” It didn’t come as a surprise that Emily’s first emotion was anger. Whether it was at herself, at Hotch, at JJ….

“We should have known better. We should have had people behind you,” Emily lamented, running a hand over her head, pulling her ponytail over her shoulder.

“We didn’t know,” JJ answered, though Emily had pegged some of JJ’s own anger and frustration. They’d been so careful for so long. The one time they slipped up, the one time they trusted that nothing would go wrong, something did.

And JJ or Hotch could have been dead because of it.

“Have you talked to Hotch?” JJ asked quietly.

Emily smiled ironically. “I’m afraid I’ll castrate him,” she admitted. “I’m so angry at him.”

“It’s his job, you know.”

“I do,” Emily agreed on a sigh. “That doesn’t mean I’m not angry.”

“You’ve seen him throw himself into dangerous situations before. You’ve seen him go into situations without a weapon,” JJ pointed out, thankful for something other than herself to focus on.

“I’ve heard about him almost taking on a seasoned killer,” Emily responded. Her hand released JJ’s so she could wipe both over her face. “He could have _died_. I don’t know what I would have done if the man I…”

JJ smiled at the way Emily had trailed off. Her feelings for Hotch were obvious, but it seemed like Emily hadn’t explored them as deep as they were visible. “If the man you love had died right in front of you.”

“Yeah,” Emily agreed, her voice choking. “I love him.”

“I know,” JJ said.

There was silence for a moment as JJ let Emily absorb this new revelation.

“I’m still angry.”

JJ let out a bark of laughter. “Tell Hotch to hide the sharp objects.”

Both women shared a chuckle. Emily reached out and took JJ’s hand again. “I’m glad you’re okay,” she said quietly. “Really glad.”

“So am I,” JJ agreed.

“Are you going to be okay by yourself? I hear Reid went off to hunt down dinner.”

JJ smiled affectionately. “He wasn’t sure I wanted to go out. He made the decision all by himself.”

“Don’t lie, you’re thankful,” Emily said, pushing herself to a standing position. “Have you seen Derek or Pen?”

JJ raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t even realized they hadn’t come up. “No.”

“Huh,” Emily said, a note of _something_ slipping into her voice. “I think I’m going to take my stuff with me.”

“You think Morgan pulled his head out of his butt?”

Emily grinned as she walked into the other room, calling back over her shoulder, “Isn’t it worth hoping for?”

 

Aaron was scared. Well, not scared per se, now that he thought about it, just horribly anxious. He’d never seen Emily that annoyed with anyone, well, him aside. He wasn’t exactly sure what it meant. He’d done what he knew Emily would have had she been in his position and she had to know that. He took a deep breath as the knock sounded on his door. He let it out when he saw Emily on the other side, ready bag in hand.

“I’m still upset with you,” she said as she brushed by.

Aaron watched her drop her bag beside his, brow wrinkling in confusion. “Okay.”

“What on earth were you thinking!?” she exploded, rounding on him. “You threw yourself at a man with a gun!”

“I had an opportunity and I took it,” he argued quietly, surprised at his own calm demeanour.

“And you were almost shot!”

He had to admit that Haley had her advantages over Emily in this particular area. Haley didn’t want to know what kind of dangerous situations Aaron got into on a daily basis. Emily knew them from the get go, knew what the danger was before they even went into a situation.

She sighed. “What if that shot had hit you instead of Dell?”

Aaron approached her slowly. “I was wearing Kevlar.”

“That doesn’t make you invincible,” she burst out. She swiped at her eyes, feeling moisture pool and overflow in the corners.

She hadn’t stopped his approach. Aaron took it as a good sign.

“Why didn’t you shoot him?” she asked, voice cracking.

He searched his mind for the last time he’d seen her lose control like this. She, like him, prided herself on her ability to keep perfect control of her emotions during a case. As such, the only time he could remember seeing this kind of fear or panic in her eyes was during her stay at his house, when she was still having nightmares. “It didn’t even cross my mind,” he admitted quietly, his hand coming up to cup her cheek, thumb brushing at the tears she’d missed.

Emily hit his chest half-heartedly. Her eyes darted down. “I saw you running at him… I just…” She sniffled, not used to being weak, trying to get control of herself again. “Then the gunshot… I have no idea how I held back enough not to just rush over and see if you were okay.”

“You’re strong.”

She pulled away a step. That wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear. “You give me too much credit.”

Her withdrawal scared him a tough. “You are.”

“You have no idea what it was like to imagine that you could be dead.” She let out a sarcastic and watery chuckle. “No idea.”

“You would have done the same thing,” he pointed out gently, reaching for her again.

“And how would you feel in my situation?” She was mentally scolding herself for losing her cool. She thought that her little talk with JJ had done something for her volatile emotions, but the rollercoaster had begun again during the ten feet between his bedroom and what had been hers. She’d realized that there had been a chance she could have been making the walk for a completely different reason.

Emily sniffled again. “I know it’s your job,” she began softly. “I know that if I had been in your shoes I probably would have made the same decision.”

He swept her into his arms, feeling her hands fist into his dress shirt. “I’m sorry,” he said as she broke down, her body shaking with silent sobs. He continued to hold her until her crying ceased, then kissed the top of her head, feeling her mumbled something against his chest. “What was that?”

“I don’t know what I’d have done if I’d lost you today,” she repeated, raising her chin. “You mean a hell of a lot to me, Aaron Hotchner.”

Aaron looked down at her, a sense of calm washing over him. He wanted to return the sentiment, but she seemed lost in her own world

“And maybe that’s what all of this comes down to, my entire reaction. I know it’s selfish, especially since  you have a fantastic son, but out of this… All I could think about was ‘what if it had been Aaron that was shot instead of Dell? What would I have done if I’d lost the man I love?’”

That caught and held his attention better than anything else could have. It took a minute for the words to sink in. When he focused on her again, her face was complete and utter surprise. “Say it again.”

Comfort washed over her at the desperation that tinged his voice. A smile blossomed across Emily’s face as she met his eyes, fully focusing on him. “I love you.”

Aaron barely let her get the words out before he was fusing his mouth to hers. He hadn’t really expected to hear the words if only because they still hadn’t touched on their jobs or taking their relationship any further than it was. He hauled her against him, drinking in her shape, the feel of her, suddenly realizing that he could have lost _this_. This incredible, fantastic, gorgeous woman that had discovered more about him in the last eighteen months since her injury than Haley had probably known in the twenty years they’d been married. He hadn’t thought about it from her perspective, hadn’t considered anything past the point of saving JJ and preserving his family.

Emily fisted her hands in his hair as joy flooded her system, effectively wiping out any of the fear or anguish she’d been feeling. She felt lighter, though she hadn’t gotten more of a response than the enthusiastic one he was showing now. She wrapped her arms around him tightly when he pulled away, burying his face in her neck.

“I love you, too,” he mumbled into the skin. 


	54. Chapter 54

Penelope just wanted to go home.

She dragged her feet as the team entered the Quantico complex and unloaded ready bags from the plane. She smiled at Derek as he lifted hers without question, slinging the shoulder strap over his head and still carrying his own 2 black duffels. She walked with him, but didn’t say anything during the walk into the building and up to the BAU floor. She jolted when Derek grabbed her hand on her way to drop off the computer equipment she’d taken with her for the case.

“What are you doing tonight, Mama?”

Penelope sighed, the most dejected she’d been in a long time. It wasn’t, by far, the first time she’d gone on a case with the rest of the team, but it was only the second one where her teammates had been in serious danger. “A nice long bath and a bottle of wine, handsome. Why do you ask?”

“Come over,” he said, voice quietly pleading. “I’ll cook.”

“Derek, I really just want to unwind.” She almost groaned when he flashed her his killer smile. He could get her to do anything with that particular grin.

For his part, Derek didn’t want to be alone, nor did he want her alone, not after her very best friend had had a killer’s arm firmly enough around her neck to leave a bruise. “You’re turning down a home-cooked meal?”

Penelope gave him a tired smile. “I’m sorry.”

Derek tilted his head to the side, taking her in. If there was anyone she reacted the strongest to, his own gorgeous self aside, it was JJ. Derek knew JJ was the closest thing his baby girl had to a sister and he’d seen their connection after JJ had been forced to shoot Battle in the head. He cupped her elbow. “Okay, gorgeous, now I know something’s wrong and I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer.”

Usually, this was about the time Penelope gave up arguing with Derek, but she knew she was too raw for any sort of companionship. They all had their own ways of dealing with cases, and though those ways had shifted with the alterations in the relationships of the team, Penelope hadn’t been that lucky. “That’s the only answer you’re getting, Hot Stuff.”

Derek arched an eyebrow. It wasn’t often that Penelope turned him down flat. He knew she loved spending time with him as much as he loved spending time with her. And he really needed the companionship. “You’re not going home alone tonight.”

Penelope gave him a small smile. “I’ll be okay,” she said, her voice less convincing than she wanted it to be. It showed in the arched eyebrow she received.

“I promise to have you home by curfew,” he teased. He was gauging her mood, trying to decipher how much of her optimism had been temporarily injured.

“Derek, really.”

That told him more than she’d probably ever realize. Derek looked up at Hotch’s office, noticing the man standing there, watching Emily unpack things from her bag. They were mostly folders and he had a feeling he knew exactly what both of them were going to do upon their decision to leave. Hotch met his gaze, darting it to Penelope with a raised eyebrow. Derek nodded.

Penelope almost blanched when Derek grasped her elbow, his fingers jolting her more than she’d like to admit.  She _wanted_ his companionship tonight, but that want was something that worried her. She’d planned to cuddle into bed with a classic romance novel, trying to force herself to remember that good things were out there. She didn’t want to burden Derek any more than she knew she had.

“You, me, and something from Mama Morgan’s recipe book.”

“Morgan, no.”

He was completely shocked by her use of his last name. She hadn’t specifically called him by his last name in virtually ages and it bothered him. “Penelope, please.”

Penelope looked at him in slight surprise. It was so incredibly odd to have Derek sounding like he was pleading with her. He was so close to her, his eyes showing her what he never showed anyone else. Derek Morgan never showed weakness. This was worse than any kind of puppy-dog eyes he could have pulled.

Derek knew he had her by the way her eyes softened. “I promise you can leave whenever you want, so long as it’s after dinner.”

A smile tilted the corners of her mouth. “Don’t say I never gave you anything.”

\--

It turned out they ended up at her place.

Derek didn’t care, so long as he was with her. It was cases like these, where the victims could have easily been one of them, where one of their own could have lost their lives, that he found himself invariably turning to her. And she’d never seemed to have a problem with it. In fact, it almost seemed like she deliberately kept herself open in the 24 hours following a case should this need for him to share arise.

And he never talked about it. It was something that baffled him even more. He never said a word to her about the case, never gave her insight into what he was feeling, but she seemed to instinctually know that he just needed to be with her. He needed her to reorient himself in the world. Which was part of what worried him now. Penelope had never turned down a night with him, especially after cases she knew would affect him. It was just in her nature, as it was in his to drop things for a friend in need.

The fact that she’d actually argued with him, insisted that she needed the time to herself, shocked him in a way she hadn’t in a long time. Now he was even more worried than he had been. Maybe this had affected her on a much deeper level than he’d originally anticipated. He had no idea how to deal with that.

It wasn’t until much later, when they were wrapped up together on the couch, that he even dared broach the subject with her. “Hey Princess?”

“Hmm?” She was focusing on the mindless sitcom, trying to rid her mind of watching on TV as someone she loved was held at gunpoint.

“Is everything alright in that pretty little head of yours?”

Her eyes flickered away from the television for a split second, her entire body tensing up against his. She wiggled in his arms, keeping her eyes averted. “Fine.”

He stayed silent, his fingers absently trailing up her side. She was pressed right against his chest, sitting between his legs, the blanket draped over them both. His hands were looped about her waist, her head tucked under his chin.

Penelope hated the silence. “I saw him.” His hand only froze for a fraction of a second, but she felt it nonetheless, the abrupt cessation of tingling heat. “Dell, I mean. Before he grabbed Jayje.”

Derek exhaled loudly. His eyes had been on the rest of the reporters, not on the blond behind him. The cameras had probably caught their unsub approaching from behind.

“I couldn’t call. It would have been too late anyway. I had to sit there and watch as he came up behind her with the gun and…” She had to trail off, to compose herself.

“Did you see Hotch?”

Penelope shook her head. “He was a blur. And then I heard the gunshot and no one was talking…”

He hadn’t even thought about that. It had never occurred to him that in that station she could hear everything that went on, could see what the video cameras caught.

“All I could think about was ‘what if’? What if Hotch hadn’t been there? What if Dell had been stronger?”

“You can think about the ‘what if’s,” Derek told her sombrely. It was something he had learned early on in the game. What if’s led to ‘maybe’s which invariably turned into nightmares that haunted you. “We did what we could. We had one miscalculation.” _It could have cost JJ or Hotch their life._

But he wasn’t about to say that.

Penelope craned her head, looking back at him. “I can’t lose my superheroes.”

She sounded so small that Derek’s heart broke. He stroked her hair, kissing her forehead softly. “We take care of our own,” he promised her. “We would have found a way to save JJ, even if Hotch hadn’t.” In fact, if he remembered right, Shaw had done a pretty good job at trying to negotiate with Dell.

“Derek?” she asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“Make me forget.”

Looking down at her, softness and compassion, eyes brimming with moisture, Derek did the only thing his brain was telling him would truly help.

He leaned down and kissed her.

\--

Penelope woke slowly, her arm subconsciously reaching out for the person who had been there just hours before. But the bed was empty, the sheets cold. It effectively startled her awake. She felt tears choke her throat and the brutal sting of his apparent regret made her feel sick to her stomach.

After spending one excruciatingly passionate night with her, Derek Morgan was gone.

And Penelope burst into tears.


	55. Chapter 55

No one had ever told her the BAU would be easy, but Jane had grown to love the unit. It was always interesting, thanks, for the most part, to the agents themselves.

Jane had voluntarily taken an observational seat on their last case, preferring to watch and learn from her new colleagues. That wasn’t to say she didn’t offer her own thoughts and opinions throughout the case, she’d just decided that the interplay of the team was better than a romance-slash-action/adventure film.

Take her superior, for example. Agent Hotchner intimidated her. He was cold, aloof, only really connecting himself in any visible way to Agent Prentiss. He tolerated her, and she knew it. She knew at least part of him still saw her as a transplant to a team he’d painstakingly hand-picked and cultivated. She was an irritating fly buzzing about Agent Hotchner’s head.

And she’d heard the stories. FBI legend held him as both an exulted innovator and a cold-hearted bastard and upon working with him, she could see why. He was awesomely good at his job. He poured his heart and soul into his work and it showed in the lines that developed on his face during a case. He was wickedly intelligent, capable of getting into the most complex and twisted heads Jane had ever read about. He was dedicated to the job and that’s what the rumour mills were saying broke up his marriage.

But Agent Hotchner didn’t seem fazed by the change. On the contrary, whatever existed between him and Agent Prentiss seemed to have recovered him beautifully. There had been cases where Jane had watched Hotchner push himself to the edge of his rope and tolerance, only to be brought back to the problem at hand by the deceptively delicate-looking Prentiss. They fed off of each other so well that it was sometimes difficult to determine whether the idea had originally been his or hers.

Which brought her to her analysis of Prentiss herself, a woman Jane had come to admire as a mentor of sorts in the unit. Jane didn’t mind politics, but she’d discovered that Prentiss hated them with a blinding firey passion. In a way, Jane could understand where that utter loathing was coming from. Growing up in a world of politics would probably turn anyone off to the prospect, though Agent Hotchner seemed to do just fine in his political role.

Prentiss had been the first one to really accept her as a member of the team. Jane wasn’t sure if it was because she was off on medical leave when she’d originally been transferred or if it was her uncanny ability to relate to just about anyone, but Jane had almost always felt comfortable with the older woman. The fact that Jane had discovered Prentiss had been virtually drafted as Strauss’ mole by her own ambitions had gone a long way in helping Jane understand the woman’s point of view.

Still, Prentiss was someone who was on the high end of the behavioural spectrum. People like their tech genius, Garcia, were easy to read. She kept most of her emotions very close to the surface and as a result, it was never difficult to understand where she stood. Agents Hotchner and Prentiss, on the other hand, and Dr Reid included, had stone poker faces that Jane had a difficult time penetrating. But really, with a man like Agent Hotchner, a man who could probably _be_ one of their unsubs, who was she to blame herself? Jane had long ago determined that it was probably safer not to know what the man was thinking and she never begrudged Agent Prentiss for her ability to do what no one else seemed to be able to.

Yet in many ways, Jane still envied probably the only person in the unit she could truly call a friend. Prentiss, Jareau – Jane had never really felt friendly enough with the blond to call her JJ – and Garcia had a bond that she yearned for. Sure, she had her college friends, but even they had grown apart from her when Jane’s job changed so drastically. Sometimes it wasn’t the same to go out with friends and be able to read the behaviours of the world around her. It often put a damper on a quality girls’ night of bar hopping.

It seemed like Prentiss, Jareau and Garcia never had that problem. They knew each other so well, were so in tune with how each woman reacted to cases that it seemed like every night they planned to go out it was a rousing success. Jane yearned to be a part of that little group but she knew she had to wait for a sort of invitation.

She also knew Jareau and Garcia didn’t fully trust her yet. Jane had heard the stories of Agent Greenaway and had to admit that she couldn’t really blame them. They were naturally mistrusting of anyone to come into the unit simply out of self-preservation. Not only that, but they seemed to be nervous about anything to do with Unit Chief Strauss. Not that Jane could really blame them. The only person she probably feared more than that woman was Agent Hotchner himself. And really, Jane had a difficult time understanding why Strauss had it in for the man. From what Jane could see, he was perfectly content where he was and had no dire need to move up the FBI ladder.

But she was digressing. Jareau and Garcia, right.

Both blonds were bubbly in their own right, compassionate and sympathetic. Garcia was lethal in her little bunker of computer toys. Jane had learned quickly that asking where information may have come from left her without any plausible deniability. Where the tech found everything she did, how she managed to dig up some of the most spectacular links in the history of the FBI Jane would never know, and would never ask. There was probably a good reason as to why she was on the watch list of the CIA.

Jareau was, in many ways, an enigma. She was black and white at exactly the same time. She was small, slight and drop-dead gorgeous, but Jane had watched her manipulate even the most seasoned detectives into getting exactly what she wanted. Jane had no idea how the woman managed to coral both the media and local police forces without breaking a sweat. She made the job look so easy sometimes. And, technically, by her job description, that was where her involvement was supposed to end, but in pure A-Team fashion, she went above and beyond the call of duty. Jane couldn’t remember a case where Jareau didn’t put herself on the line when she had to.

And their latest was no exception. Of course, Jane had observed more drastic changes in her team over the course of the Tuscon investigation than she was sure she had in the months she’d been in the unit. Whatever existed between Hotchner and Prentiss – which, really, by this point was old news that she had no dire need to share with Strauss just yet – was overshadowed by the monstrous change between Jareau and the gangly Dr Reid.

No one could miss the man’s overprotective nature towards the blond. It had already been there when Jane had arrived, but that dire need to watch over the other seemed like it was a well ingrained habit and not something simply born of caring. Dr Reid did it subconsciously, as if he always had, and Jareau seemed to be marginally indifferent as to whether she was partnered with him or Morgan. In fact, Jane would bet money on her preference being the doctor, and not just because of her now-obvious deeper feelings.

Goodness her team was filled with general definition fraternization.

But when they worked so well as a cohesive unit, who was she to complain? The relationships between the team members seemed to simply strengthen the unit, rather than put it in any sort of danger. No one had argued about the pairings in the Tuscon case. No one had questioned whether or not safety was the top priority. And Jane knew it wasn’t just a concern for human lives. It was a preservational instinct each one of them had for the others.

Jareau and Reid, like Prentiss and Hotchner, simply had that instinct more deeply programmed for each other. Jane had a feeling both agents had been dancing around something for a while, if Prentiss and Garcia’s teasing was anything to go on. Most often, she found Dr Reid’s inevitable blush adorable.

Now there was a man that baffled any and all previous notions. While he was a kind of legend in the unit – inescapable when you are hand picked by one of the founding and most legendary members of the BAU like Jason Gideon was – the rumours were both over exaggerated and unfairly false. While Jane had noticed the poor man didn’t do well in many social situations, he was passable. He knew the strengths and weaknesses of each of his team members and probably had a better grip on them than many of them suspected.

And yet, he was like that nerdy younger brother that followed his siblings around everywhere they went. He was a walking, talking encyclopaedia, something Jane had come to value. Where other teams were forced to look up the large majority of their factual information, it was almost inevitable that Dr Reid had the answer before the question was even finished.

The man – for he was, even if he looked like a boy – was hot and cold, though not to the same extent as Hotchner. Everyone was intimidated by his intelligence, and Jane knew he hid behind it like a shield. Well, from most people anyway, herself included. Prentiss, Morgan, Jareau and Garcia on the other hand, he just didn’t bother. Hotchner was a useless battle. She yearned for the day he was that comfortable with her.

Which left her with one team member. Agent Morgan was the typical ladies man, or so Jane had thought before watching him in Tuscon. As the outsider, she liked to believe she saw things that others didn’t, though she had a sneaking suspicion that everyone but the often-relationship-oblivious Dr Reid already knew what she was just observing. She’d chalked his flirty nature with Garcia up to that ladies-man personality, but it became terribly obvious with his reaction to her flight to Tuscon, that his feelings ran deeper than that.

Which was too bad, considering he was running from them like a scared rabbit. There was something that baffled Jane immensely. With Jareau and Reid and Hotchner and Prentiss, she would have expected Morgan to jump at the chance to follow his teammates’ leads especially with someone as warm as Garcia. But something had changed between them drastically in the weeks that followed their Tuscon case, and since everything else in the team seemed fairly normal, Jane assumed that whatever it was hadn’t gotten around to the rest of the team just yet. It was just a matter of time really.

They were a family, all conflicts and romantic relationships aside, and Jane knew that. They were superheroes, people who metaphorically saved the world by day, then went home to significant others, children and friends.

It was just their way.


	56. Chapter 56

Something was distinctively off and Jennifer Jareau knew it from the bottom of her observant heart and soul. And it had something to do with Tuscon.

Which, in some ways, made her feel a little bit guilty. Each of the team members had reacted differently to her ‘attack’ and Hotch’s near-death experience. Morrow hadn’t really reacted, actually, now that she thought about it. It was the predictable reaction of a concerned colleague, but JJ didn’t begrudge her that much. After all, she wasn’t quite a member of the family just yet.

Spence, well, reacted exactly the way an overly protective, overly concerned teammate would do. More specifically, he’d reacted as someone who cared deeply for her, and she’d been very, very happy to let him watch over her carefully in the week following the attack. He’d been concerned for Hotch too, just not to the same extent. JJ didn’t mind.

Emily had reacted as a friend, while still battling her own chaotic emotions surrounding the quite possible death of the man she’d just recently admitted she loved. JJ had to admit it was still mind-boggling how well the woman could compartmentalize. She still had no idea what had gone on with her boss and her friend after Emily had left with a packed ready bag. From the way they interacted on the plane, she’d simply assumed that everything was at the very least okay.

Penelope and Derek, on the other hand, had done a complete one-eighty in the month they’d been back from Tuscon. They’d since been on two field cases and JJ had noticed that it was her and Emily that did much of the calling to Penelope. Derek didn’t pick up the phone when her name was mentioned, barely even moved except to wince slightly. JJ and Emily had exchanged a raised eyebrow the first time it happened and shrugged it off. Derek and Penelope rarely stayed angry at each other for long.

But when the second case came about, and nothing had changed, JJ had some serious theories. It apparently ran much deeper than they’d originally anticipated and now JJ was concerned. Information that would usually be rerouted through Derek came straight to Spence, JJ or Emily and not with the same enthusiasm it once had.

Penelope was down, and that required some serious female intervention.

So, she and Emily had simply planned to ambush the woman, giving her no choice but to spend a relaxing day with them. Emily had scored some serious passes to a high end spa, courtesy of her brother and had agreed that this was exactly the situation she’d been waiting for. So JJ strode purposely through the halls to Penelope’s lair, the passes tucked safely in her purse.

She knocked gently on the doorframe, well aware that when concentrating Pen spooked easily.

“Hey there, Jayje.”

That had been another clue. Pet names had been on the serious decline since Tuscon. “We’re whisking you away.”

Penelope, much to her friend’s surprise, looked absolutely terrified. “What?”

“You, me, Em, a weekend at a spa and you can’t say ‘no’.”

“Jayje, really, I… I haven’t been feeling well and…”

“Which is exactly why you need a weekend away,” JJ injected firmly. “You’ve been so down, Pen.”

It was the blatant worry, concern and sadness in JJ’s last sentence that almost guilted Penelope into agreement. Really, she subconsciously knew that she needed some time with the girls. She needed to talk to someone about what had happened with Derek.

And she needed reassurance that missing her period when she’d been regular from the beginning was normal.

“When?” she asked quietly. Her nerves were starting to stir again with the prospect of telling her friends what had happened. Regardless of how upset she was with Derek, she didn’t want him dead.

“Now,” JJ replied, tone brooking no argument. “Em borrowed her brother’s SUV and we just have to swing by your apartment to help you pack and we’re on our way.”

Penelope gave her friend a small, but genuine smile. “I’ll just shut these down.”

 

Emily looked at Penelope in the rear view mirror as the three women headed to the outskirts of Fairfax. It was a long drive, but if they could cheer Penelope up even just a little bit, it would be very much worth the drive and the gas money. Penelope had been silent through the ride, looking out the window at the passing scenery. There was little of the regularly bubbly Penelope, the woman who had the uncanny ability of cheering her up even in her worst moods. And from what she’d observed over the last month, she had an uneasy feeling it had everything to do with one often-pigheaded Derek Morgan.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve done something like this,” Emily said nonchalantly as she focused her eyes back on the road.

“It has,” JJ agreed with a contented smile. “No cell phones for about 60 hours. How brilliant does that sound?”

Penelope wasn’t so sure. She’d relied on work a lot recently to get herself out of _thinking_. Thinking was dangerous, especially with some of the things that were running through her head. “Great.”

JJ and Emily exchanged a look. They didn’t want to pressure Penelope in the slightest, if only because while her powers of interrogation were legendary, her stubbornness fell along the same lines. If they pushed her now, they wouldn’t be able to get anything out of her for the rest of the weekend, null and voiding the whole point of the expedition.

“Would you rather be at home, without us?” JJ asked with the perfect pout.

The corner of Pen’s lips tilted in an imitation of a smile. “Nah.”

“I have missed this,” Emily said with a contented sigh.

JJ raised an eyebrow. “What? Hotch not keeping you satisfied enough?”

Emily went pink, her usual reaction to Aaron with her friends. Away from the Bureau and the tension, she was the consummate woman when talking about her man. She even gushed, much to her own awe and cringing disbelief. “Totally off topic.”

JJ snorted in laughter.

“We haven’t had time to us girls in a while,” Emily justified, steering the topic back.

Ironically, that’s what scared Penelope the most. “We haven’t.” She’d have to try and act at least part of her usually bubbly self. The girls knew too much already, probably suspected even more. She should have known better than to hide from profilers.

“I feel so disconnected from everything,” JJ agreed with a quiet chuckle. “Between cases and work-“

“And Reid,” Emily interrupted in a sing-song voice.

JJ shot her a dark look. “-We haven’t had time to just be girls.”

“I’ll admit, I’m looking forward to good talks, chocolate… oooh, and a good massage,” Emily gushed.

JJ opened her mouth.

“A _professional_ massage,” Emily said before the blond could comment. “Goodness, Jay, has our good doctor gone and corrupted your innocent brain?”

JJ shrugged with a sly smile.

Emily huffed.

Penelope stayed quiet.

“Everything okay, Pen?” JJ asked casually, turning in her seat and craning her neck to look at the other woman.

“Mmhmm,” Penelope replied.

JJ exchanged another look with Emily. This was going to be a long weekend.

 

It wasn’t until late Saturday afternoon while all three women were simply lounging in the sun that JJ put on her interrogation hat. They were nestled in a small, private clearing, just the three of them, simply relaxing. “Hey Pen?”

“Yeah Jayje?”

Really, JJ hated to do this. Penelope had actually looked like she was relaxing and both women had caught glimpses of the woman she’d been a month ago. JJ had a gut feeling that bringing up Derek would shatter that calm. “What happened? With you and Derek, I mean.”

Penelope stiffened. “Nothing.”

Emily moved her sunglasses up to her head, tucking them under the hair of her ponytail. “Pen…”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

JJ was the first to move, abandoning her own lounge chair to sit on the edge of Penelope’s. “I know, but you have to.”

“Why?” She was being petulant.

“Because you’re miserable. Because the way you’ve been acting makes it obvious that he’s the reason behind it. Is it really that bad?” Emily asked, moving to JJ’s vacant chair, sitting on the edge.

Penelope sighed. Hasn’t this been what she wanted? A new opinion on the situation, someone who could tell her she’d be okay? “Depends on your definition of ‘bad’, I guess.”

JJ’s hand grasped Pen’s tightly. “What happened?”

Penelope sighed. “It was after the Tuscon case,” she began quietly. “After he insisted on not leaving me alone.”

JJ and Emily were silent. It had been a rough case for all of them but because they were wrapped up in their own relationships, they hadn’t really been paying attention to those around them.

“He wanted to take me back to his place, to cook me dinner, make sure I was okay, but we ended up at my place.” Her voice had quieted and she knew it, but the story still left an ache in her chest that she didn’t much enjoy. She was usually so in control of her emotions that it felt odd for her to feel like such a roller coaster.

“He cooked – he’s a fantastic cook – we ate, cleaned up and settled in to watch a movie. I guess, in hindsight, it was kind of my fault. I should have known better, I should have sent him home after dinner. I knew I wasn’t in the right mood…”

“You’re getting off track,” Emily said softly.

Penelope took a deep breath, tightening her grip around JJ’s hand. “I guess I was just feeling so vulnerable, you know? You guys are my family, you’re my everything and, well, Derek…”

Emily and JJ nodded. Derek was more than her everything.

“I just needed the connection, needed to feel like there was more to life than death and danger. I asked him to make me forget, to make me feel…”

JJ and Emily were wide-eyed in surprise. Penelope’s implication was clear to them both, both of them knowing that dire need to have someone remind them that they were human.

“Wow,” Emily breathed.

“I know, I’m an idiot. It was stupid and unfair… he wasn’t beside me in the morning.”

“What?!”

The outrage and annoyance in JJ’s voice took Penelope completely by surprise. Even as her best friend Penelope often forgot the diminutive woman had a hellish temper.

“He _left_?”

Penelope shrugged, trying to downplay the hurt and absence she’d felt so acutely.

“He left you a note or something though, right?” Even as JJ asked the question she knew she was wrong. There was no way the rift could exist between Derek and Penelope if he’d left some sort of note, if he’d come back for breakfast, anything.

Penelope shook her head. “Nothing.”

“So you severed ties.” Emily’s voice sounded almost clinical, as if she was simply absorbing the facts.

Penelope had no doubt that’s exactly what she was doing. Which was going to make this bombshell all that more shocking. “And now I’ve missed my period.”


	57. Chapter 57

JJ had to force herself to stay calm. Freaking out, like she wanted to, wasn’t going to help Penelope at all. The other woman looked so fragile, so childish, so afraid that JJ knew any show of temper would probably be more of a hindrance than a help. “I’m sorry?”

“I missed my period,” Penelope repeated softly. “I’ve been regular since I was twelve.”

“Stress can sometimes do it,” Emily said slowly, her tone speaking to her lack of confidence in that particular story.

Penelope sighed. She’d been denying this for the past few weeks or so, since she’d missed her monthly friend. “I’ve been tired recently. I always feel like I have to sleep.”

“Any nausea?” Emily asked softly, vividly remembering Charlotte’s first few months of pregnancy. Her sister-in-law had been cursed with endless morning sickness though the first three months of her pregnancy.

Penelope shook her head. “It’s why I’m not so sure. I do have to pee all the time though.”

JJ was frozen in shock. Derek was the one person she expected to be the most careful out of all of them, especially with their Penelope. “Wow.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Penelope said, trying to will the tears out of her eyes.

Emily moved to crouch down beside her, kissing her forehead matronly. “We’ll have to get a test,” she said softly. “Figure out if you’re right.”

“And if I am?”

Emily smile reassuringly. She’d kill Derek later, but for now, compartmentalizing was key to keeping Penelope away from despair and hysteria. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. There’s no use panicking without a for sure answer.”

“Where am I going to…”

“I’ll go,” Emily offered. “This weekend was for you so you stay and try and relax. I’ll pop out to a drug store or something.”

Penelope looked wary and panicked.

“We’ll be with you every step of the way, whether you’re pregnant or not,” Emily told Penelope softly but with strong conviction.

Penelope looked to JJ, to her sister, to the woman who had shot a man for her. “Jayje?”

“Of course.” JJ said, squeezing her friend’s hand. “Always. Anything.”

Penelope sighed as Emily rose. That had gone a lot better than she’d originally anticipated.

But the next step was going to be even harder.

 

Penelope was pacing. The pregnancy test Emily had bought was in her hand and she was tapping it against her other palm in an erratic rhythm. Who’d have thought that a little stick could terrify her so completely? But it wasn’t the little stick that was making her heart beat just that little bit faster. It was the implications the stick brought. What if she was pregnant? What if she was carrying Derek Morgan’s baby?

The thought both terrified her and thrilled her. Derek meant more than the world to her and carrying his child was a dream she rarely allowed herself to think about. It was something that would tie them together forever. Every once in a while, her subconscious would dream it up for her, a little girl with light brown skin and dark hair running away from her father, a large grin on his face. Or sometimes it was a little boy playing ball in the park while she watched contentedly.

But she’d never anticipated the reality. They weren’t even in a relationship. This child was, for all intents and purposes, an accident and she wasn’t sure she was really prepared for motherhood, especially motherhood with a ladies man like Derek. She had no doubt he’d want to be involved in the child’s life. He was way too close with his own family, all too aware of what it was like to grow up without a father to just leave his own progeny without one. That, in itself, was a terrifying eventuality.

And that didn’t even start on their jobs. Sure, hers was definitely less violent than Derek’s and she never really had to put herself into the direct line of fire, but they both worked in one of the toughest departments of the FBI. She had no doubt that a child could actually be good for her, like it had been for Hotch, but that didn’t prepare her.

Oh yeah, and there was her own haywire emotions. She’d given into temptation one night at home and researched pregnancy’s effects. She knew hormones made her emotional, irritable and it the site’s reference to exhaustion and fatigue had been what originally tipped her off to the possibility in the first place.

A knock interrupted her rhythmic pacing.

“Pen?”

It was JJ, and most likely Emily. She hadn’t wanted to do the test without the support of her friends. She wasn’t sure she could make it through the process alone. It just wasn’t really her style. So she crossed to the door and opened it, allowing both of her friends entrance.

Though they were staying together, the passes Emily had gotten from Chris had given them access to a suite, so Penelope had her own bedroom. She turned when she hit the center of the room, her eyes cloudy. JJ was over to her in a second, wrapping her arms about the other woman, trying to give her the courage she was going to need.

“You can do this,” JJ whispered.

“I don’t know if I want to,” Penelope responded just as quietly.

“Wouldn’t you rather know?” JJ asked, leading Penelope to the bed and sitting beside her. “Wouldn’t it make your life easier knowing, either way?”

“What if I am pregnant?” Penelope asked, squeezing the word out, her eyes rising to Emily’s. She needed Emily’s compartmentalized rationalism rather than JJ’s encouragement.

“Then you have a decision to make,” Emily responded honestly. “You either have to talk to Derek, or…” She left the other option hanging. While she admired the ability of a woman to make that choice, it was one she preferred not to think about. She had too much pride in life after living with so much death. But Emily needed Penelope to know that she had that option.

“I couldn’t,” Penelope said immediately. “I couldn’t… I’d keep it.” Then with a deep breath, she tore open the package and headed to the bathroom.

Emily and JJ looked at each other as the door closed, Emily allowing the other woman to see each and every expression and emotion.

“What are we going to do?” JJ asked quietly.

“Stand by her, I guess,” Emily answered. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Get in line,” JJ responded. “How could he do this? Just leave her behind?”

Emily had a few theories, but none of them came anywhere close to justifying Derek’s actions. “I have no idea. It’s Penelope.”

“Even Fran says he’s in love with her,” JJ continued, working herself into a fuming anger. “What was going through his head? Why did he…?”

“He probably needed the connection too,” Emily pointed out, trying to be rational through her own frustration and irritation. “Doesn’t excuse him, but still.”

Penelope came out of the bathroom then, glancing at the clock. “5 minutes.” She glanced at Emily. “Have you talked to Boss-Man?”

Emily smiled, allowing Penelope the distraction. “I called last night. He’s got Jack for the weekend.”

“How is Superboy?” Penelope asked, a little bit of her old self shining through. Jack simply had that effect on people.

“He’s a Daddy’s boy,” Emily said with a sigh. “I did get to talk to him.”

“He adores you,” JJ gushed.

Emily rolled her eyes. “He wanted me to tell him a story, over the phone.”

“You tell him stories?” Penelope asked.

“Since the time I stayed with Aaron,” Emily answered with a shy smile. “We both had nightmares and my dad used to tell me stories when I had them. Prince Jack saved the day.”

“Prince Jack?” JJ chuckled. “How unoriginal.”

“Oh please, a Daddy’s boy like Jack?” Penelope contradicted.

Emily smiled, the wide smile of someone who was perfectly happy with their life at the moment. “He loves saving the world,” she agreed. “From the flu monster, from the man abducting mommies… With the number of them I’ve told I should go into writing.”

JJ mock gasped. “And give up the BAU? Who would want to give up death, blood and hell?”

Even Penelope laughed. They knew Emily well enough to know she’d never give up the BAU without excellent reason and where Aaron Hotchner fit that category, writing children’s books did not. Penelope glanced at the clock. 2 more minutes.

“Children’s books just wouldn’t be that interesting,” Emily agreed when the laughter had died down.

Penelope was tapping a rhythm on her knee, not one in particular, just trying to get rid of some of the nervous energy. She looked up when Emily sat beside her. “You guys are good?”

Emily smiled softly. “We are. Don’t you worry about us. I think between us we can take care of ourselves.”

“I’ve noticed you don’t hide anything. On cases I mean,” JJ said, a slight note of curiosity slipping into her voice.

“No point,” Emily replied with a shrug. “Why try and hide something everyone already knows? And it helps that we haven’t had a blow up on a case since Tuscon. I wanted to kill him.”

“Spence wanted to throttle me,” JJ remembered with a fond smile. “For agreeing to get up there.”

“What else were you going to do?” Penelope questioned in disbelief. “It’s your job.”

“I know,” JJ answered. “We always have to do things on the job that put us in danger.”

“Let’s not remind me. I much preferred the indignant anger that came from that case,” Emily interjected. “Thinking that I would have done the same in Aaron’s situation made my anger less fun.”

“And the outcome?” JJ asked.

Emily smile turned sly. “What can I say?”

They all giggled.

Penelope glanced at the clock and froze. 5 minutes had passed.

JJ noticed and turned serious again. “You can do this.”

“No I can’t,” Penelope contradicted. “You go look. Please?”

“You have to do this,” JJ argued with a shake of her head. “You’re stronger than this.”

“We’ll still be here when you get back. We’ll be here whatever happens,” Emily reminded her quietly. “Friends always stick together.”

“Family,” Penelope whispered.

JJ reached over and hugged her. “Family,” she agreed. “Go look.”

Penelope got up slowly, felt like she was moving in slow motion as she walked the six feet to the bathroom. There, on the counter, right where she left it, was the little stick, standing out in stark contrast to the counter, in Penelope’s opinion. She approached it slowly, the bomb that could blow up her entire concept of life. With shaking hands she reached out to grasp it and looked down at it double checking that she’d read it right. Then she moved back to the door, shock on her face.

“I’m pregnant.”


	58. Chapter 58

Emily sighed as she unlocked the front door of Aaron’s house, dropping her weekend duffle to the floor just inside. He’d called on her way home, inviting her for dinner. Emily always preferred eating with someone else than eating alone. She’d just closed the door when a small whirlwind impacted the back of her knees. If it wasn’t for her quick reflexes, she’d have smashed into the door.

“Hey Buddy,” she greeted, lifting Jack into her arms.

“Hiya,” the small child responded enthusiastically, placing a smacking kiss on her cheek.

Emily laughed. “How was your weekend,” she asked formally as she made her way towards the kitchen.

“We played ball,” Jack answered happily as Emily set him down just inside the kitchen door.

She smiled at Aaron at the sink, trying not to show her worry or concern. Penelope’s unplanned pregnancy and her absolute promise to the woman to keep it a secret had her fussing more than usual. “Hey.”

“You sound _more_ exhausted,” he said, slight concern colouring his voice.

“Lethargy,” Emily answered smoothly. “I’m so relaxed I’m tired.” She knew he didn’t believe it. Even so, she approached, nestling herself against his side. “Do I have work-appropriate clothes here?”

“In the closet,” he murmured against her hair, kissing her head. Much to his surprise he’d really missed her. And she’d only been gone two days.

Their relationship had changed in Tuscon, almost to both agents’ surprise and relief. They weren’t sure it was even possible for their relationship to so much as shift, let alone change and they’d been a little afraid of being stuck in a rut, not going forward, not going backwards. After all, they were perfectly content, happy in the place they were in. Then he’d almost been shot and something had altered between them again.

It was almost imperceptible to outsiders, even to their team of behaviouralists. Where he’d been overprotective, almost overbearing around other men, it was almost like he trusted her more. Emily wasn’t paranoid enough to think that he hadn’t trusted her before, but the point was still there. It was as if he really understood how important her independence was while simultaneously understanding that he was important to her too.

There was a new level of comfort in their relationship that they both revelled in. They’d discovered that as much as they didn’t like fighting, it released pent up tension and also served to expose other seemingly inconsequential issues. What really balanced them, however, was how easy things seemed to come. They’d often battled between his traditionalistic views and her less than conventional ideology, but Emily also had the uncanny ability to keep Aaron on his toes. It felt like it had been a long time since a woman had been able to do that.

Aaron looked down at his regular and arguably most beloved house guest. Something was stirring in him, clamouring to get free in the peaceful contentment of that moment. Then, with the soft press of her lips to the corner of his mouth, her warmth was gone.

She turned to Jack. “Hey Bud, want to help me set the table?”

As Aaron watched his son and his Emily go about setting the table for dinner he realized whatever little itch had been in the back of his mind was gone.

 

Derek, has had become his habit over the last six weeks or so, was one of the first into their unit bullpen. He sighed almost morosely as he set his things down and hit the coffee maker. He wasn’t surprised to see Emily come in next. She and Hotch were always the first ones in and often spent that early morning time holed up in Hotch’s office.

So her whack to the back of the head and accompanying glare definitely took him by surprise.

“Hey!” he exclaimed indignantly.

Emily rolled her narrowed eyes. “Be glad all I did was hit you, idiot.”

Derek raised an eyebrow. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done something she found idiotic. Their sibling-like dynamics often garnered such a reaction. “Is this about Belinda from Finance?”

The brunette gaped at him for a moment. Then, in pure early morning Emily fashion, her anger was gone, replaced by indifference. “JJ, Pen and I went to a spa this weekend.”

A lightbulb clicked on at the measured casualness of the comment and he felt his heart constrict painfully. “She told you.”

“See why you’re lucky to get off with merely a whack to the back of the head?” Emily asked, venom underlying the almost cheerful tone.

Derek groaned.

Emily huffed. She was still his friend, a sister, so her heart went out to his obvious understanding of his stupidity. “What were you thinking?”

“I’m not sure.”

“If you were looking for someone…”

“I know.”

He’d had six weeks, so Emily figured he’d had plenty of time to analyze and kick himself. “Why did you _leave_.”

Her emphasis didn’t go unnoticed. “She deserves better.”

Emily raised an eyebrow. “Because…”

Derek let out an irritated sound, averting his eyes. It had taken a lot for him to open up to Emily, especially in the beginning, but she had yet to betray any of his secrets. She and Reid were the only ones who he’d explicitly told about his nightmares. She was the only one who knew they still existed. “She deserves someone untainted, Em. She deserves someone bright, happy… normal.”

“You make yourself sound like some sort of monster.”

That was the other thing that made Emily such a good confidant. She didn’t pull punches, didn’t offer sympathy where she didn’t think he deserved it. “I’m just not what she needs.”

“But you are what she wants.” She paused when her words didn’t bring a reaction. “Shouldn’t it be her choice to make, anyway?”

He glanced over at her as she leaned against the counter beside him, hands propped on the linoleum. “My life is my work. I see some of the most gruesome things a person can do to another person. I have violent nightmares about rape and death. Is that really something you’d subject another person to?”

Emily pursed her lips at the overdramatic representation of his life. “Don’t I already?” she replied logically.

“You and Hotch are different.”

“Are we, really?”

Derek looked at her with a ‘duh’ expression.

“How are we that different?” she asked softly. “Pen sees things too. She knows what we tackle, knows that it’s brutal and disgusting and worse than nightmarish.”

He growled. Sometimes he hated how right she could be. “But I…”

“You nothing,” Emily interrupted quietly. “At the very least, she’s your best friend and you guys miss each other. It’s driving us crazy. It’s driving _her_ crazy.”

Derek flinched. He’d seen Penelope, heard how down her voice was over her speaker phone during cases. It was killing him that she was so upset and that had been another reason he’d continued to keep his distance. “Em…”

Her anger was back, that fury that she kept so carefully under wraps. It rarely came out to play. “Don’t you ‘Em’ me, Derek Morgan. I just spent a weekend with a crushed woman because one night the man she’s been in love with since she met him helped her through an emotional time and then _left_ without a word, a note, an acknowledgement of what had happened. Whether you regret it or not you owe Pen an explanation,” she hissed.

Derek took an involuntary step back. “It’s not that easy.”

“I’m sorry is too hard to say?”

Derek rolled his eyes. It was hard for him to admit he’d made this much of a monumental mistake but it had been floating around in the back of his head since his mind had processed the events of that night. “Em… We didn’t… I forgot…”

Emily knew exactly what he meant – the evidence of that was currently growing inside Penelope’s stomach – but counted to three in her head before she reacted, hoping Derek wouldn’t see the knowledge she already had. “You forgot protection?”

She sounded so shocked that Derek’s nerves increased tenfold. “I…”

The brunette took careful hold of the emotions she’d temporarily let go. Technically, she’d promised Penelope that she wouldn’t say a word to Derek, but the opportunity was too brilliant to pass up. It served to help her dispel some of her frustration with him and help him see what he was putting Pen through at the same time. Penelope wasn’t the only one who could effectively meddle in relationships. “Derek, you need to talk to her.”

“How?” he hissed. “I don’t want to put her in a bad position.”

Emily raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to be with her?”

“Emily…”

“It’s a simple yes or no question!”

Derek sighed. “Yes.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’re just being stubborn.”

“What if she…”

“Have you even been _listening_ to me?” Emily questioned in exasperation. “Penelope. Wants. You.”

“She deserves better.” He started to walk away, hoping it would end the torturing conversation.

Emily virtually growled. “You certainly are two peas in a pod.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, not turning to face her.

“She thinks you’re too good for her, that you don’t want her,” Emily responded baldly. “She thinks you’re too hot, too smooth, too fantastic to want someone like her.”

That froze Derek in his tracks. “You’re kidding me.”

Emily scoffed. “In this situation, I don’t think that’s even possible.” Then she brushed by Derek, coffee cup forgotten, on her way back to Hotch’s office.

Derek had no doubt it was because she was so aggravated with him. But her goal had been successful. She’d managed to give him some serious food for thought. Now what was he going to do?


	59. Chapter 59

Emily’s life had become somewhat of a routine. She didn’t mind it. Routine had driven her life for years before the BAU so it almost came as a comfort to her. She watched over Penelope by day and spent the large majority of her evenings with Aaron. Even though they spent hours together at work, it never seemed like they could get enough of each other. He’d even gone with her to see her newborn nephew a few times.

She’d been very careful throughout her routine to keep her behaviour completely normal. No one thought twice of her coddling towards a team member. It was her niche and one she fit like a glove. No one questioned her patience when Penelope was suddenly away from the phone.

“Even computer geniuses need to use the bathroom,” she’d said with an almost cheerful smile, even as she was running ragged from a case.

When she looked at her life, she had to admit, she was perfectly comfortable with where she stood. She and Aaron were going strong and it always seemed like there was quite simply never enough time in the day. He’d mentioned to her in passing that Haley had discovered their relationship through an unsuspecting Jack, but Emily not only harboured no resentment for the woman but had even been responsible for dropping Jack off a few times on her way home. She didn’t mind it, nor did she fault Haley for her lack of understanding. It wasn’t her fault that Aaron was an extremely complex man, nor was it her fault she wasn’t a profiler trained in understanding that kind of behaviour.

Haley had been genuinely happy that Aaron had found someone else who understood his dedication to the job and could handle him like she hadn’t been able to. It was anger that had made Haley leave, but it was an innate realization that she couldn’t make Aaron the perfect husband that had her filing for the divorce. She’d known it was, in the end, for the best.

What bothered Emily the most, however, was the lack of _anything_ between Penelope and Derek. After pointing out the obvious to her surrogate brother, he’d taken a month to take the preliminary steps towards repairing the friendship he’d so thoroughly destroyed. Of course, Emily knew it wasn’t all his fault, but a hormonally teeter-totter like pregnant Penelope Garcia was someone Emily had learned quickly not to mess with. Still, it bothered her that Penelope had yet to tell Derek about the baby. It was becoming more and more obvious, even though the woman buried herself in her lair for the large majority of the working hours.

If the team had noticed, they’d just chalked it up to her simply being Penelope. Aaron has asked her about it once, but Emily had kept tight lipped, throwing off an excuse about working on something new for the Bureau. She hated lying to Aaron, but he hadn’t called her on it. Either she’d been successful in her lie, or he respected the loyalty she had towards her friend. She still wasn’t sure which one it was.

Four months after her conversation with Derek, Emily tip-toed down the stairs from the requisite three bedtime stories to find Aaron standing stock still in the middle of the living room, a light blue book in his hands. Her heart started to pound, so much so that she forgot the squeak on the last step, alerting him to her presence.

He turned the book to face her, his face unreadable, but she already knew what it was. She’d hidden it there earlier in the week when things had gotten a little hectic and forgotten to take it home with her. She’d been very careful to hide any and all ‘research’ she’d been doing to help Penelope along.

“Something you need to tell me?”

His voice was almost cold, detached, and it sent serious shivers down her spine. “I’m not pregnant.”

“The book says something different.”

She surreptitiously pinched the back of her thigh for something to concentrate on other than the icy temperature the room suddenly fell to. They’d talked about children, albeit briefly, and agree that should childbirth be an option, it wouldn’t be until they’d figure out what to do at the Bureau. “I’m not pregnant,” she repeated, forcing her voice to stay strong. “One of my friends is and the father… he doesn’t know.”

“Who?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Aaron’s eyes went back to the book. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, but with the conversations they had he wouldn’t put it past her to lie until she could be sure, or find a better way to tell him… or something. He needed a name. “It does to me.”

“This isn’t about you.”

Her voice hadn’t been harsh, just matter-of-fact. “Damnit, Emily.”

“Why are you so hell bent on getting an answer?” she replied, coming to stand by the edge of the couch. “You know it’s not me.”

“I need to know.”

“You need to be sure,” she accused.

Aaron took in her defensive posture, the way her arms were crossed over her chest. There was nothing to say she wasn’t telling him the truth, but now his hackles were up and he had a pretty good idea of who it could be. “Garcia.”

“What about her?”

He’d already caught the flicker in her dark eyes. “Garcia’s pregnant.”

“Why do you say that?”

He set the book down, making a conscious effort to release some of the tension in his muscles. He knew a few things had to happen now, knew that she was going to be defensive and worried about the possibility should it ever come up again. “The book, for one,” he held up the offending object.

Emily stayed where she was.

“Three months ago she actually went home to sleep at night, left at a decent time.”

Emily had to give him that. She’d often sent the blond tech home before she left to ensure that she actually did. Pen’s first trimester had been filled with fatigue and morning sickness. “She’s been fine for the last three months.”

“Typical,” Aaron replied, remembering Haley’s energetic second trimester. That was about when she dragged him shopping as soon as he got home from the office. “She doesn’t eat chocolate.”

Emily smiled at that. She hadn’t known Aaron had paid that much attention to the habits of the team. Her habits he knew almost as well as his own, but the others he often counted just that little bit out of his necessary knowledge realm. “It still makes her sick.”

“Who’s baby?”

She dropped down on the couch with a sigh, her arms still folded. There was no use in hiding it now. “I’m not allowed to say.”

Most of the time, he respected her privacy and the things she didn’t want to share about the other team members, but as the Agent In Charge, he felt like this was something he should know. “Em…”

“I promised her I wouldn’t say anything,” she responded, standing strong. “I can’t betray that.”

Technically, she’d already betrayed the woman’s pregnancy secret, but really, it was only going to be a matter of time before Aaron found out. She’d have to notify him of her maternity leave eventually. “When?”

“After Tuscon. After you and Jayje.”

“We all took that case a little hard,” he remembered candidly, absently reaching out to brush his fingers up her calf. How she could wear shorts in the middle of winter baffled him, but she’d claimed his house was too warm for pants. It did give him access to her smooth skin, so he really shouldn’t be throwing stones.

“She denied it for about a month,” Emily revealed. “Then JJ and I dragged her on a girls weekend-“

“To the spa. I remember that.” He’d spent the weekend with Jack. Saturday in the park and Sunday at the Smithsonian’s Museum of Natural History.

“She took the test in the hotel room. JJ took her to the doctor when we got back.” She stretched out her legs, feet resting in his lap allowing him uninterrupted access to the toned muscles in her calves and thighs.

“That’s why you’re calling your sister-in-law all the time.”

Emily nodded. “Pen would, but she doesn’t want to get caught.”

“Why didn’t she tell me?”

His voice sounded almost pained now. “It’s a big deal for her,” she pointed out, her head lolling back against the couch as his fingers continued to softly trail up and down her legs. “Unplanned things don’t settle well with her.”

Changes didn’t settle well with most of the team. “How is she?”

“Coping,” Emily responded. “But you know Pen, she never likes letting people see her weak or struggling.”

“So you and JJ stepped in.”

“Of course we did,” she replied breezily.

“Is she planning on telling the father?” He was digging a little but Penelope was family and he worried about her.

“Hmm, I’m not relaxed enough to spill any of those beans, but good try.” Her eyes were closed. She paused a beat. “I’m sorry she didn’t tell you. I’m sorry _I_ didn’t tell you.”

“I understand.”

Her eyes popped open, dark and alluring as he’d almost always found them. “And I’m sorry for scaring you with the baby book. Charlotte’s great, but I feel bad interrupting all the time.”

Aaron yanked her legs, pulling her towards his body. “Has it been an easy pregnancy?”

She really wasn’t sure she wanted to continue this particular topic of discussion. Sometimes it was hard enough to see Penelope’s growing stomach and remembering Emily herself was older than her blond friend. “She’s been upset about the chocolate but we’ve been lucky on the cravings front.” She shifted so her head rested against his shoulder, his arm around her.

He automatically started running his fingers through the soft, dark strands. Something was off with her. Something about the conversation was pushing the wrong buttons. “And?”

She looked up. “What? It’s been easy for her.”

There was a shadow in her eyes he didn’t like. “Talk to me.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “It’s nothing.

“Emily,” he cajoled, wrapping his arms around her completely.

“It’s not a big deal,” she insisted again. “Really.”

The fact that she was pushing him not to talk about it told him the opposite. “It is a big deal.”

“We’ve already talked about it.” She was up and headed for the kitchen before he knew it. She needed to keep her hands busy.

Aaron leaned against the doorframe when he followed her path, watching her pull out the kettle. She’d been leaning towards comfort foods a little bit more often as of late and though it had yet to show in her body – he doubted it ever would; Emily was an active woman – but he’d noticed. “You think you’re running out of time.”

She wished she hadn’t frozen in the split second reaching for the knife to cut her apple, but knew he’d seen it. He was watching her too closely to miss it. She cursed herself when she felt irrational tears punch at her eyes.

He pushed off the doorframe, coming up behind her and removing the sharp knife from her hand. He turned her into his body, hugging her close, felt her shaking as she held back the tears.

If Aaron was honest with himself, he wanted Emily to get the chance to be a mother. He watched her hover over the team so often that it seemed a true shame to let mothering instincts like she obviously had go to waste. They seemed to come naturally to her. Their discussion about waiting had been a mutual decision on both sides to wait until they figured out what to do at work, but the primal, primitive part of him wanted, needed, to see her swollen with his child.

“I know we agreed that the Bureau came first, and I still agree with that, I do,” she said from the general vicinity of his neck. “I’m probably overreacting a bit.”

His hands stroked up and down her back. “What if I left the unit?”

“I’d kill you,” she responded without thinking. “And then Derek would kill you, and then JJ would kill you…”

“I get the point,” Aaron interrupted with a chuckle. “We’re between a rock and a hard place.”

“I’ll leave,” Emily contradicted, as if it was the easiest choice in the world to make.

“No.”

“You’re making this difficult.”

“You love it too much.”

“I want to be a mother more.”

Aaron’s phone rang before the argument could continue and he reached for it on the counter where he’d left it charging. “Hotchner.”

Emily waited out his phone call to the thumping rhythm of his heart under her ear.

“Yes ma’am. I’ll gather the team in the morning.” He set the phone down with a sigh.

“We have a case.” It was a statement.

“As of tomorrow morning,” he reminded her. “Strauss is coming.”

“Ah, BAU evaluation. I heard C Team talking about it, debating which one of them would get to work with the great Agent Hotchner.”

He pinched her side.

She squealed. “I’m repeating what I heard!”

“And embellishing,” he accused.

“I am not,” she replied. Then she fell silent. “What if I transferred within the unit?”

“You’d be bored.”

Emily tileted her head back to glare at his chin. “Objectively, Aaron, not like a guy who wants to keep his woman close.”

“I am being objective,” he argued. “It would be boring for you to work with someone different. None of us deal well with change.”

“Chances are I’d be leading the team.”

Aaron blew out a breath. “It’s a good opportunity,” he allowed. “You could lead your own team.”

That was more of a complement than he probably realized. “Thank you,” she said.

“And it would be a promotion.” He was surprised when her response was a dejected sigh. “What?”

“I couldn’t be a mother. Not like I want to, anyway.”

He hadn’t thought about that. “We’re stuck.” He let her go as the kettle whistled.

Emily kept her eyes on her hands as she went about making the hot chocolate, apple forgotten. Comfort beverage at its finest. “Heck of a thing to have on our minds with Strauss on the next case with us,” she murmured almost absently. She turned, holding the mug between her hands. “What do you think?”

“Strauss is our priority.”

Emily nodded her agreement, wrinkling her nose. “We’ll have to be on our absolute best behaviour.”

His eyes darkened at her unintended inference. Aaron swiftly removed her mug from her hand, ignoring her little mewl and set it on the counter far behind her. He boxed her between his arms, his body and the counter in the process. “Then we’d better get the bad behaviour out of our systems now.”

Her breath caught in her throat as he nuzzled at her neck and her lower body arched into him instinctively. “Aaron.”

“Mmm…”

“Jack,” she managed, as his tongue came out to play and his fingertips slipped under her t-shirt and sweatshirt to play along the waistband of her shorts.

“Dead to the world,” he assured her, trapping her lower body between his and the cupboards. “He sleeps best after story time.”

She groaned as his mouth skated up her neck and along her jaw, hovering just above her mouth. “God, you’re good,” she breathed, sweeping in to kiss him.

“We’ll see about that,” he said, hoisting her up against the counter and leaning in to ravage her mouth again.

Emily doubted she’d question him again.


	60. Chapter 60

Erin Strauss had known she was going to get resistance from Hotchner’s team before she’d even called the man. They held a grudge like no other group of people she’d ever met. It didn’t really surprise her. She was arguably the one person that could tear them apart at their seams. Ironically, it something Erin had no intention of doing.

Contrary to popular belief, she didn’t hate Hotchner. She respected him immensely for his work in the unit, but she wasn’t blind either. Hotchner was incredibly smart, the only person Erin thought posed a threat to her job. At least, that was what she believed until he showed up with Agent Prentiss in Milwaukee.

A man who was after her job would have balked at the notion of directly disobeying a suspension and probably wouldn’t have thought twice about pulling another agent back into the fray with him. Then the way he’d coolly handled her display of emotion and his emotionless response to her threat of never moving him proved one thing to Erin: the man was quite content where he was. Erin had no reason to fear her job. Plus, he seemed to understand, at least at some subconscious level, that he did control the unit. Erin played the politics and watched out for snags, but Hotchner truly ran the BAU. Erin didn’t really mind that dynamic in the slightest.

And she knew a good thing when she saw one. She’d made a terrible miscalculation before heading to Milwaukee. While Hotchner did have some amazing leaders under his command, and even better minds, they seemed just as happy as Hotchner to stick to the status quo. She’d also discovered that they worked best when they were together. At least that was the impression she’d come away with in Milwaukee. The giddy school girl inside of her hoped she’d get to see that dynamic again.

The evaluation process was really just a formality. Erin had no plans to split up her best team, not when her sole purpose was to continue making the unit look good.

It didn’t mean she was going to get a warm reception.

 

JJ hadn’t been happy to hear about the team’s tagalong. The last time the woman had come on a case, it had thrown off the dynamic so severely they’d almost missed a key part to their profile. But Hotch had sounded like it was no skin off her back to have her lurking about, so JJ had made herself a promise: she’d act the same way she would if Erin Strauss wasn’t watching her every move.

Well, almost. She wasn’t absolutely idiotic. She and Spencer would have to play it a little closer to the vest on this particular case, and there was no way JJ was going to leave off worrying about Penelope. The irritation, however, would have to be put on the backburner for the time being.

She also hated take off. Her ears never adjusted well to the changing altitude and almost inevitably popped. Once they were in the air, she was fine.

“Alright, let’s get started,” Hotch said from his place against the window.

Even with Strauss there, some things simply didn’t change and the group around the table was one of them. Strauss had chosen a seat at the front of the plane, Derek at the back. Emily and Hotch had taken two of the seats by the table, Hotch on the inside, and Reid sat across from them. JJ sat across from Derek.

She stood at Hotch’s words, reaching into the bag at her feet for the files. She always carried them, for simplicity’s sake and to ensure no one forgot. Spencer had done that one too many times, his mind already wrapped up in the case to concern himself with a little thing like the file he’d already memorized.

“Nashville always makes me think of country,” Emily lamented, thanking JJ with a smile.

“Tennessee State Fair,” JJ responded as she politely handed a file to Strauss. “My parents took us there almost every year. Family vacation.”

“Too bad we’re not there for fun and games,” Morrow agreed.

“Six boys, all between the ages of six and seven,” JJ said, using Morrow’s comment as an excellent segue. “All missing from malls, all smothered and wrapped in blankets.”

“All left outside the malls they were taken from,” Derek added, scanning the information in front of him.

JJ watched Emily open her laptop, preparing to connect with Penelope. The woman had been put in charge of going over the footage from the cameras in the mall. It was a possibility she had something at least preliminary.

“The parents never reported the children missing,” Morrow said into the silence. “The reports all say that a relative of some sort, brother, sister, cousin, told the parents the kids was missing.”

“Bet those kids feel terrible,” Emily murmured for no apparent reason.

JJ’s eyes darted to Strauss.

“This unsub screams preferential offender,” Reid said, his usual matter-of-fact cadence. “Same blond hair, brown eyes, same age, same type of kid…”

“So he stalked them,” JJ picked up, slowly getting back into the usual swing. Strauss had thrown her off, promise or not.

“Definitely,” Derek agreed.

“Garcia reporting in,” came the disembodied voice from Emily’s laptop.

JJ could already see the stress lines forming around the woman’s eyes and mouth. This one was going to take a toll on the expectant mother, that much was certain. Too bad only she and Emily knew.

“The cameras at the exits have nothing on our boys.”

“I’m sorry?” Hotch questioned.

“Exit cameras didn’t catch the kids going in or out of the building. At least in four of our cases. I’m just looking through five and six now.”

“What about the mall cameras?”

“Inside the mall, there are glimpses, but nothing concrete. According to video there’s no record of any of our little boys leaving any of the malls they were taken from.”

Penelope’s voice was flat, nothing close to the usual happiness necessary for a case like this. JJ’s heart went out to her. “He has to know the malls,” she said, knowing she was pointing out the obvious. “Knows where every camera is, knows where everything in that mall is.”

“In every mall?” Emily asked, shaking her head. “He does his research.”

Hotch’s eyes were fixed on the file. “The kids, the malls… Nashville’s his hunting ground.”

 

Rick Hooper, homicide detective for Nashville Tennessee swore in his twenty plus years on the force he’d seen it all. Nothing, he often claimed, surprised him anymore. His partner, Maggie Houldsworth, the woman who had proven to him the fairer sex could indeed be fantastic officers, agreed with him. Ten years of partnership meant they knew each other all too well.

Until they’d encountered this case and the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit.

Rick and Maggie stood on the tarmac where the private jet had landed not five minutes before. Rick was holding his breath. He expected standoffish agents, people who were more concerned with the glory than with the process and he’d prepared himself to be patient. Chances were they were going to have to make a stop at the hotel to give them a chance to settle in and get acquainted with the atmosphere.

SSAIC Hotchner seemed to have a different idea all together. The man was the only consummate agent that deplaned. The rest, were a ragtag group of serious people, people who could have very well been cops from the way they dressed and conducted themselves. They’d looked almost like a team of superheroes as they’d strolled purposefully across the tarmac, bags in hand. And they seemed to travel surprisingly light. Rick even heard Maggie gasp from beside him.

Much to his further surprise, it was the blond agent that stepped up first. “Detective Hooper?”

“Yes ma’am,” Rick responded almost dumbly as he shook the proffered hand. She didn’t have the delicate grip of the wisp she looked like.

“Agent Jareau. This is Supervisory Special Agent In Charge Hotchner and the rest of the team, SSAs Morgan, Prentiss, Morrow and Dr Reid, as well as Section Chief Strauss.”

“Thanks for coming. Where to first?” He braced himself for the expected answers.

“We’d like to split up,” Hotchner said, his voice cold, calculating. If he wasn’t an agent Rick was sure the man could be the most cold-blooded killer the States had ever seen. And he was surprised by that.

“You don’t want to stop at the hotel? Drop your things off?”

Agent Morrow waved absently to two black SUVs that had been parked alongside the plane. “We’ve got our rides, now we just need the crime scenes.”

“We’d prefer to just get on with the case if that’s okay,” Jareau spoke up in her sweet voice. “The faster we get started, the faster we can catch this guy.”

“By all means,” Rick sputtered. “Where to?”

“JJ, Morrow, why don’t you head over to the Huxley’s, talk to them about their son,” Hotchner suggested, though it sounded to Rick more like an order.

Jareau seemed to take it as such. “And the cousin, see what the last minutes were before he realized Jason was missing.”

Not only was Rick struck by the way Jareau seemed to finish Hotcher’s thoughts, but also by how thoroughly they seemed to know the case. “Mags?”

“I’m in. The father I can stay away from those malls the happier I’ll be.” Maggie had a young son of her own. Just eleven, if Rick remembered right. Rick watched the women head off and then turned back to the rest of the team.

“We’ll take the malls. There’s four of them?” Hotchner asked.

“Yeah. All four of you?” Three of them exchanged a glance and Rick felt a little bit out of the loop on a private conversation.

“Yes. We’ll follow you, if that’s okay detective?”

The way Hotchner deferred to him also struck Rick. He liked these agents. Or, at least, he liked their work ethic. “We’ll start with the furthest one out. Work our way in.”

“Sounds good,” Hotchner agreed.

Rick climbed into his car a little shell-shocked and slightly intimidated. The way the agents had hit the ground running was something that had completely baffled him. He had been originally sceptical of bringing in the FBI, but now it didn’t seem so bad. That didn’t mean he was any less sceptical of the process though.


	61. Chapter 61

JJ and Morrow rode with Maggie – she’d insisted on the name – to the Huxley home.

“Is Agent Hotchner-“

“-Always that intense? Yes,” JJ answered with a smile. She was used to questions like that. Hotch was someone everyone had to get used to.

“Wow. We figured you’d want to go to your hotel first and settle in,” Maggie admitted.

“There’s a small chance we can find Jason alive,” Morrow said without thinking. “We want to nip this in the bud.”

“We’d prefer to see everything as fresh as possible and talk to people while the event is still close to the surface. Painful, I know, but in the long run we’ve found it’s also probably our biggest help,” JJ amended. “The fresher the information, the more information we can probably learn about the guy we’re looking for.”

“And it’s most definitely a guy,” Morrow agreed.

“Who _are_ we looking for?” Maggie, much like Detective Hooper – or at least from what she’d gleaned from the little she’d seen of the man – didn’t seem to put much stock in profiling. She’d been dazzled by their arrival, yes, but had yet to be dazzled by their skill.

“White male, thirty-five to forty-five with knowledge of all of the malls,” Morrow said.

JJ could tell her mind was processing as she said it.

“Probably insider knowledge. And he’s careful, probably stalks his victims before taking them.”

“That’s just the preliminary too,” JJ said, cutting Morrow off. Anything more could change by what they were about to listen to.

Still, Maggie had to admit that was pretty good. “How does he pick his kids?”

“Probably has something to do with recognition of a child he molested in his adolescence,” Morrow answered.

JJ sighed. “You sound like Reid.” She took a small perverse pleasure in the way the woman blushed bright crimson. JJ had a feeling she’d be watching her politics a little bit better from now on.

Maggie looked perplexed. “There was no sign of sexual assault.”

“Small relief,” JJ answered.

“Still something,” Morrow spoke up.

Maggie sighed as she pulled into the driveway of a neat little bungalow house. It struck JJ, as it always did, how normal most of the victims of crime were. She’d seen suburban housewives dead on their beds, husbands targeted for environmental reasons, all part of the same cozy household typology.

“This is it.”

There was a little bike in the front lawn, ribbons coming out of the handlebars. Another child. “At least they have one ray of hope.”

“Their daughter’s four,” Maggie offered. “Cousin Mark stays with them. His parents do a lot of traveling.”

JJ almost winced. She hoped Mark had a happy family in his aunt and uncle anyway. She knocked swiftly on the door, belaying her underlying anxiousness. The woman who opened the door had haunted eyes.

“Can I help you?”

“I’m Jennifer Jareau, with the FBI,” JJ introduced herself. “We want to talk to you-“

“About Jason’s disappearance,” the woman said without emotion. “We’ve told the officers everything.”

“I know ma’am,” JJ said patiently. “And I’m sorry to bring it up. There’s a few things that we need to ask that they haven’t.”

“Why?”

This was always the hard part to explain. “We’re behavioural analysts,” she said quietly. “We’re trained to look for different things than officers are.”

The woman let her in after a moment and led them to a homely living room decorated in burgundy and white. She took a seat on the couch while JJ sat on the nearby armchair. She was close enough to reach out and touch the other woman when the questions got too emotional. “What do you need to know?”

“Is your nephew here? We’d like to talk to him as well,” JJ asked gently.

“One moment.”

JJ allowed her eyes to close and released a breath when the woman had left the room. Families were always difficult. It was the only emotion she’d let herself show until she was safely at home in Washington DC. Thirteen-year-old Mark returned with his aunt.

“Aunt Kelly said you wanted to talk to me?”

“We want to talk to you about Jason’s disappearance,” JJ answered. She’d started with control of the interview and Morrow seemed completely at ease to let her hang on to that control.

“I don’t know what else I can tell you that I haven’t told the other detectives,” Mark said honestly.

He looked so terribly guilty that JJ’s heart went out to him. So did her hand, resting on his knee where he sat kitty-corner to her on the couch. “I know this has to be hard. I need you to close your eyes for me. Put yourself back in those moments before you realized Jason had disappeared.”

Mark took a deep breath, but did as JJ asked.

“Tell me what you see.”

“I was playing a video game,” he said quietly after a moment. “I… I wasn’t paying attention to Jason.”

“I don’t care about that,” JJ said softly. “We’ll get there. What video game?”

“A shooting game,” he said.

JJ knew he’d probably blocked out most of that day, probably blocked out the large majority of the details that could matter. She was glad the game wasn’t one of them. “Walk me through.”

“Jason… he was right beside me. He liked watching me play, like my own little cheerleader.”

It was obvious, even to JJ, that Mark adored his younger cousin. She found herself smiling.

“I’d beaten a level, drawn a crowd. Jason was afraid of crowds.”

“He doesn’t do well in large groups of people,” Kelly Huxley agreed tearfully. This was the first time she’d heard this in so much detail.

“What happened next?”

Jason, he always details what I’ve done well and what I could have done better. He’s been watching me play since he was about four, I’d taught him some strategy stuff. He’s a bright kid.”

“I’ll bet he is,” JJ agreed.

“I didn’t hear anything. He wasn’t there. I looked and looked, called his name, asked the crowd. No one saw him. Everyone was too concentrated on how well I was doing. And there was so much noise…”

“Do you remember hearing anything odd?”

Mark opened his eyes then, shaking his head. “Jay always stuck close. The fear of crowds thing.”

JJ nodded. “What did you do then?”

“Went to security,” Mark replied. “As soon as I knew he was gone.”

“How long between that and the end of your game?” Morrow asked, speaking for the first time.

“Five, maybe ten minutes.”

JJ raised an eyebrow at Morrow. Their guy moved fast. “Did you know any of the other families?”

“Of the boys that went missing?” Kelly Huxley asked. Then she shook her head. “No.”

“We’ve played basketball against one or two of them,” Mark revealed. “I’ve never met them one on one, just on the court.”

JJ stood. “Thank you,” she said sincerely. She’d relay the information to the team, give herself time to separate her emotions from the information she’d gathered, then they’d put it into their profile. Whatever it was, she hoped it would save Jason’s life. This family looked torn up enough. She didn’t want to have to add to it.

 

“Here’s a question,” Derek said as he looked around from his position by the second mall’s door. They’d been systematically checking the area around all of the exits, including the ones that weren’t open to the general public. “Why didn’t anyone see our guy from here?”

Emily followed his gaze across the back loading lot, over the brown grass at the far edge as she considered the question. “Maybe not,” she suggested, feeling Aaron’s approach and hearing Strauss’ heels. Since they didn’t offer any information immediately, she figured their questioning of the arcade and security staff had come up empty.

“He wants time. He’s careful when he lays them out,” Derek argued. “Someone had to see him here. There’s always people loading or unloading something.” He waved vaguely to the trucks parked at the nearby loading bays.

“He leaves the body and snatches another one,” Emily hypothesized. “He takes time with the dead boy? When he’s got another one already waiting inside? That doesn’t make sense.”

“He spends enough time with them when he’s got them,” Aaron agreed quietly.

“All the more reason no one saw him,” Derek argued. “Either way, he’s either really careful, or really quick.”

They had to give him that.

“No one saw anything odd in the arcade,” Hooper spoke up. “Just a bunch of regulars that day. But there’s a school about four blocks from here. Kids come by the arcade after school.”

“Our unsub knows that,” Derek agreed. “He counts on it.”

“What makes you think he watches them?” Hooper asked, watching Derek take off at a jog across the pavement, heading for the long grass.

“His preference,” Emily answered. “He has to know that his type of boy is going to be where he wants them, under the circumstances he needs to take them.”

“You can tell all of that about this guy? From the nothing we’ve got?” Hooper was still skeptical.

“Ever move the unsub makes – or _doesn’t_ make – can tell us something about him,” Emily answered patiently. Hooper was not the first person to doubt the usefulness of profiling, by far.

“Where’s Morgan?”

Emily had been about to ask herself the same question before Aaron’s voice had cut through the air. Derek had seemingly disappeared. Her cell rang and she glanced at it, rolling her eyes as she picked up. “Where are you?”

“Take a chill pill there, Mom,” Derek shot back as Emily put the phone on speaker. “This grass is higher than it looks.”

“How high?” Aaron asked, stepping into Emily’s personal space under the pretense of listening. He was, but he was absorbing her presence too.

“Five-ten, maybe. No taller than I am, so our guy can’t be that tall. He’s at least a runner, though my money’s on a hiker. This ground’s pretty uneven,” Derek answered.

“Come back in,” Aaron ordered. Then he turned to Emily. “Ask JJ if she can handle the interviews of other families.”

“You got it.”

 

The precinct looked almost like the swankiest hotel in the world when they all filed into the room they’d been allotted. Most of them knew the work was far from over, but just the chance to gather, to reevaluate, to look again at the facts and the new information after spending the day interviewing and double checking crime scenes was a little bit of comfort.

“Stressors in the kid,” Derek said, tapping one of the pictures. “Something about the kid sets him off, makes him want them.”

“He goes largely unnoticed, he has to. No one thinks anything of the fact that he’s walking away with a child.”

“People see him but no one ever notices,” Emily agreed with Morrow’s statement. “Anonymity drives him.”

Strauss noticed that there wasn’t a single other person in the room sitting, not even JJ, who had spent her day interviewing in heels, just like Strauss. She watched the team gather around the table, withdrawing pictures, evidence and notes. Then she observed yet another spectacular feat by the team. Without running into each other, reaching for the same piece of paper, picture or evidence piece, Erin watched as the once-empty bulletin board slowly filled with the information they had, and the information they’d collected.

“Let’s go over this again,” Aaron suggested, looking over the case on their bulletin board. Child cases brought out part of the dark side that Aaron rarely ever acknowledged. His own beliefs, especially after the birth of his son, contributed largely to that push, that need to solve the case before anything else happened. Of course, they all carried the same need. Children were meant to be innocent, not meant to be preyed on. Child cases drove them harder than any other type of case, than any other type of unsub.

“What’s the trigger?” Emily asked, almost rhetorically as she looked at the things spread out in front of her eyes. She stood shoulder to shoulder with both Derek and Aaron, her arms wrapped around her stomach subconsciously leaning into the latter, trying to offer him unspoken support for what she knew he would go through in the coming days. Morrow stood on Derek’s other side.

“He takes them in broad daylight, so he’s bold,” Derek murmured.

“Overinflated sense of self worth,” Morrow agreed. “But that doesn’t tell us what drives him.”

“Something about him is off and someone’s noticed,” Reid said. “Something happened in his life that triggered this streak. Some catstrophic event.”

“Twenty says close family death,” Emily proposed, a smile touching the corners of her mouth. Odd humour was how they dealt with things.

“I’ll take your family death and propose loss of sexual outlet,” Derek replied.

“There was no sign of sexual assaults on the victims,” Morrow pointed out logically. “You’re fighting a losing battle.”

“Offenders that prey on young male victims have usually been predators for a while,” Emily recited, bringing them back to the serious things. “It manifests itself in adolescence.”

“Not every person’s a textbook case,” Derek argued.

“This guy is looking less and less textbook with everything we learn,” Aaron mumbled, eyes darting over everything. This one was going to give him nightmares, he could already sense it.

Emily watched his mind work, making a mental note to remind him to call Haley later, simply to talk to Jack. “Next step?”

“We post officers at every mall, have them watch, patrol, for anything out of the ordinary.” Then, he sighed. “For now, we go back to the hotel. Rest, change, come back in the morning and get right back to it.”

JJ blew out a breath of air as she gathered her things, calling the attention of the rest of the team. The blond woman shook her head. “I hate child cases.”

Didn’t they all.


	62. Chapter 62

They felt like they were scrambling and Aaron knew it. They were trying to dig up everything and while he understood that Garcia needed rest – something Emily had taken to reminding him often – he felt like it was her part that was the most crucial at that moment. He knew his temper was growing thin and he could tell, but as time ticked by, he knew Jason Huxley’s chances were waning.

“I feel helpless,” he’d confided to Emily the night before as he paced in an uncharacteristic fit.

He knew the team could tell his patience was wearing thing, a notion that really bothered him. They were more careful, cautious, and while ideas and theories flowed as usual, he could tell each agent was thinking carefully before speaking. He knew the censorship wasn’t just for his benefit. Exhaustion was obvious in everyone’s faces, though Emily, JJ and Morrow had the added advantage of makeup to try and hide the signs. They were bound to snap at each other and thinking prevented unfair offhand comments.

“I know this case like I know my lifestory,” Derek lamented. They’d been in Nashville three days now.

“We’ve got Garcia checking for security guards,” Emily said, trying to stay optimistic.

“She’s an insomniac,” Derek groaned. “Why hasn’t she gotten back to us?”

Emily and JJ exchanged a glance. They hoped not. Penelope couldn’t afford to be an insomniac for another three months or so.

Hooper poked his head in, as if cued. “Line three for you guys,” he said. “Your tech. And she sounds pretty triumphant.”

Derek dove for the phone. “Tell me something good, Sweetness.”

“First of all, you’d be surprised at how many security guards have worked at all four malls,” came Penelope’s disembodied voice, skipping the preliminaries.

“What about-“ Emily began.

“Ah, Madam Prentiss, I am not finished yet,” the tech interrupted. “I narrowed the search field. Catastrophic event in the last six months as defined as close family death, loss of job, nasty transfer, yada, yada, yada… I’ve got six names.”

“Let me guess, already sent to us?” JJ asked, a smile playing about her mouth.

“I do pride myself on staying at least one step ahead of my superheroes,” Penelope agreed.

“Oh, you’re a superhero yourself, Goddess,” Derek praised.

“Don’t thank me yet. I have a bone to throw into your celebration,” she said apologetically.

Aaron felt the muscles that had started to relax tense up again. He thought they’d been so close. They hadn’t had any news from their sentries at the mall Jason Huxley had been snatched from and then Penelope’s breakthrough… “What is it?”

“There are other staff members, sir, and members of loading crews that also match the search criteria,” Penelope answered, her voice shifting with Aaron’s clipped words. “Twelve in all.”

“Thanks, Baby Girl,” Derek said.

“Always. I’ll let you know if I can narrow it down further.” Then she was gone.

“We’ll stick to the security guards,” Aaron said, feeling his spirits pick up slightly at the notion of being on a hot new trail.

The team nodded. Security guards would have better access to the necessary knowledge to the camera information anyway.

“JJ and I’ll head out now, start asking questions,” Emily suggested.

“Isle home, here we come,” the blond agreed at her boss’ nod.

It wasn’t more than an hour later that the news came through. Derek and Morrow had been preparing to head out when a young female officer stepped fearfully into the room to deliver the shocking revelation.

They had another body.

 

Emily had to admit, out of all of the moments on cases, one of her absolute favourites was driving with JJ. Even when subdued, her company, the company of one of her best friends in the entirety of the world, was always a helpful, calming experience. She just loved driving with JJ. And, if she was honest, she needed to get out of that precinct.

She adored Aaron, but the pressure of trying to keep him calm without flaunting their off-hours relationship in front of Strauss was taking an incredible toll on her. She hadn’t realized how much she took their relationship for granted on cases, nor had she realized how co-dependent they were. There were times she relied on him to stimulate her thought processes and others where he relied on her to pick up the control he inadvertently dropped.

The distinct line they’d had to draw for this case was taking a toll on JJ too. Emily had woken not only to her own nightmares but to the sounds of JJ’s. Both women had been up together that night and both had wandered off to find chocolate. They’d been lucky that Emily had a trashy magazine in her bag – a guilty pleasure she’d bought on impulse the last time she’d been grocery shopping. They’d been able to distract themselves well enough.

“We’re losing it,” JJ murmured, her eyes out the window at the passing scenery.

Emily didn’t have to ask what she meant. “It happens.”

“Did it have to happen now? This case?” JJ replied.

“We’re all over-stressed,” Emily said calmly, rationally. “Strauss’ presence isn’t much of a help, I’ll admit, but it’s not like we haven’t dealt with worse.”

“We’ve had mechanisms to deal with worse,” JJ groused. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had to resort to chocolate and reading to distract myself from nightmares.”

“I know the feeling,” her brunette counterpart commiserated. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt on the outside.”

“Eh, you’re more in Hotch’s head than you know,” JJ contradicted.

“Even so,” Emily said, turning onto a quiet residential street. She blew out a breath. “It’s always the normal ones.”

“Because that doesn’t sound jaded,” JJ quipped, her eyes fixed on the ascending numbers. “Got it.”

They pulled into the driveway and hopped out almost at the same time. They took to the walkway together, Emily knocking on the door. “Melinda Isle?”

“Yes?” The woman was a redhead, probably around forty, dressed in jeans and a sweater.

“Is your husband home?”

The woman sighed. “I’m afraid not. What is this about?”

Emily flashed her badge. “We’re with the FBI, ma’am. May we come in?”

“Is something wrong? Where’s Peter?”

“We were about to ask you the same thing,” JJ responded as she followed Emily into the foyer.

Melinda Isle sighed. “He’s been acting strange. We’ve been worried.”

“We?” Emily inquired as she followed the other woman into the kitchen.

Melinda Isle settled in a chair at the kitchen table, waving out the window to the backyard. “Mary and I. And Jemma. She’s been asking where her father is every night.”

“Mary and Jemma are your daughters?” JJ asked, watching the elder teen play with a very young child.

“Yes. They’re all I have left now that Peter and Robbie are gone.”

“Gone, ma’am?” Emily inquired.

“Robbie, he was our six-year-old son and Peter’s pride and joy,” Melinda explained, tears coming to her eyes.

JJ and Emily exchanged a glance. That would be pretty traumatizing, and the boy’s age fit with the ages of their victims.

“He was coming home from school. Austin had picked him up with Mary. I’d asked Mary to drop by the mall for a few things, pick up some cough medicine for Jem since she’d had a cold.”

“What happened?”

“Robbie was hit by a car crossing the street. Drunk driver, but Peter blamed Austin. Mary hasn’t talked to Austin in months. Nothing we could say or do would make him feel less responsible, or make Peter change his mind.”

“Where is he now?”

“I don’t know,” Melinda repeated. “He’s gone a lot more since Robbie died.”

“How long has he been gone?” JJ asked soothingly.

“Three days.”

“And you haven’t filed a missing persons report?” Emily inquired calmly.

Melinda shook her head. “I did the first three or four times, but then I found out he’d bought a ranch outside of Nashville. He says he’s trying to fix it up for us, give us a place to rebuild our family. He comes home every two or three days for dinner, but then he’s gone again.”

Emily could feel the thrill of a lead hooking her in. “How long has this been happening?”

“Since Robbie died, but he bought the ranch about two months ago.”

Right around the time the boys first started disappearing.

“Do you have a picture of your son, Mrs Isle?” JJ asked.

Melinda nodded, ducking into the next door family room and bringing back a framed photo. “His school picture. He’d just started grade one.”

JJ and Emily only had to glance at the picture to see the resemblance to their victims.


	63. Chapter 63

Derek had watched the scene unfold in front of him, a knot tightening his gut. His own heart had started beating faster as Hotch’s voice leveled and froze, as the young officer tensed in terror. Derek could almost see the flight-or-fight instinct kicking in.

“Your only job was to watch for the son-of-a-bitch,” Hotch snarled, a sound more terrifying than any yelling Derek had ever heard.

“I know, sir.”

“And now another boy is missing!”

Derek physically took a step back at the cold fury that was unleashed in a few simple words. He glanced over to Reid and Morrow, both of them frozen as stock still as the woman in front of their supervisor. Even Strauss looked terrify, though Derek had a feeling she almost felt an obligation to step in.

Then he was moving without the conscious agreement of his brain, putting himself between the two parties. “Hotch.” Cold black stared at him, though Derek could virtually feel the struggle behind his supervisor’s eyes. “Back off.”

It was as if Derek’s words had unleashed the dam. Morrow stepped forward to gently grasp the officer’s arm, pulling her away from Hotch, almost at the same time the letter turned on his heel and stalked off towards an empty office at the back of the floor. Derek braced himself for a loud slam, but it never came.

“Wow,” Reid breathed.

Derek sighed. “Yeah.”

“Where’s Emily when you need her.”

Derek almost winced at the last comment, but pulled out his cell phone. He definitely didn’t want to be the one stepping into the lion’s den if Hotch couldn’t get control of himself.

“Hey Derek.”

“Where are you?”

“Almost back. Pen was right and so was Morrow. Peter Isle lost his seven-year-old son-“

“Faster.” He knew the tone would set her off.

“What happened?”

“Just get here, Em.” He heard her sigh.

“How bad?”

“Bad enough.”

“Strauss?”

“I don’t know. She hasn’t said anything.”

“Derek…”

“Just get here.”

 

Emily was on a mission. From the moment Derek had told her she needed to get back as fast as she could, she’d known it was Aaron. She’d seen him starting to collapse, watched as his temper shortened and hoped that it would hold out just a little bit longer. She hadn’t been that lucky. Her eyes searched out Derek’s dark head.

No one stepped in her way, seeming to sense that the woman was on a mission. That didn’t mean she wasn’t being observant. It was her job to watch. She saw the shaky officer sitting with Morrow. The woman looked up at Emily and she had her answer clearer than day in the residual guilt, confusion and something akin to terror around the edges of her eyes.

“Em.”

Emily turned to face Derek, allowing all of the questions she wanted to ask to spread across her face.

“We’ve got another body.”

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “I thought we had officers watching the mall.”

Derek nodded. “We did and do. The guy managed to dump the body anyway.” He paused. “And took another kid.”

And the world made sense again. She cursed under her breath, running her hand through the hair she hadn’t bothered to do anything with. “We’ll have to alter the profile.”

Compartmentalize. That was Emily Prentiss to a tee. “Preferential, but opportunistic,” Derek agreed.

“Where’s Aaron?” Her voice was extremely soft.

He waved vaguely to the back. “Cooling down.”

“God,” Emily said swearing again. “In front of Strauss?”

“Yeah.”

The brunette sighed. She wasn’t exactly used to this level of damage control and mentally berated herself for letting it get as bad as it seemed to be. Then, she mentally released a string of every swear word she knew in all of her languages at the woman who had thrown them so completely off kilter.

Morrow chose that moment to approach. “She’ll be fine.”

Derek arched an eyebrow at the comment. “What do you mean by ‘fine’?” he asked warily.

“It’s a child case,” Morrow said with a weary shrug. “We all get a little more passionate.”

“Let’s get into the conference room,” Derek suggested, then turned to Emily. “JJ can tell us about your interview.”

They split, Emily towards the back, Morrow and Derek to the conference room. It was time to get Hotch back on track.

 

Aaron stared out of the fourth floor window, willing his cold temper back into the box it had escaped from. His hands were clenching and unclenching against the windowsill as he valiantly fought the part of him he hated the most. He hadn’t meant to yell at the poor woman in the slightest. If it had been one of his teammates that had broken the news, it was debatable as to whether he would have exploded like he had.

He hadn’t heard the door open, then close again. His mind was too focused on holding himself together, on not ripping the office apart like he wanted to do. He needed some way to release some of the anger, frustration and even more so, despair that was pumping through his blood.

“No harm, no fowl.”

He didn’t turn at her voice. He should have known she would be the one to come pull him out of his funk. “How did we miss him?”

“He knows these malls,” Emily reminded him quietly from the door. “He was probably watching, gauging the best time to dump the body.”

That didn’t really make him feel better. “It means we were probably minutes away.”

“What if? Not like you at all.” Sympathy wasn’t what he wanted and she knew it. She had the perfect way to deflect his attention. “Melinda Isle hasn’t seen her husband in three days.”

“And she didn’t file a missing persons?” It had slipped his mind that Emily had been out in the field, interviewing based on a list Garcia had generated. They needed to find the next boy alive.

“Apparently, since her six-year-old son’s tragic death six months ago,” Emily began, a smug smile tilting the corners of her mouth, “he’s been absent more and more often. She filed the first three or four times, then discovered he’d bought a ranch in the oh-so-gorgeous Nashville countryside.”

Either her enthusiasm was infectious, he was in dire need of a break in the case or he could actually see where she was going. “How far out?”

“Far enough that the neighbours wouldn’t know or suspect anything,” Emily replied. “Melinda Isle says her husband’s barely home for dinner every two or three days, then he’s gone again.”

“That gives him time with the boys, isolation.”

“That’s not even the best part.”

He had a hard tiem believing it could get any better than the case she’d essentially just presented to him on a silver platter. He raised an eyebrow in anticipation.

“Peter Isle worked as a security guard in all four malls where the boys went missing.”

The talk of the case, the focus on the new breakthrough, had restored his equilibrium. The fact that it came from the woman who didn’t care whether or not he could hold onto his control and temper meant and proved he was now part of the family he’d once watched from afar. He reached out and squeezed her hand, the only affection he’d even risk showing.

“Let’s go get our unsub,” she said with a predatory smile.

He couldn’t agree more.

 

Erin had to admit, the Aaron Hotchner that entered the conference room was a completely different one from the one that had left a half an hour before. Agent Jareau had been filling them in on the rather fruitful interview with Melinda Isle when both seasoned agents had returned, Hotchner looking much calmer. Whatever Prentiss had said must have done the trick.

There were other things Erin had noticed about the duo since starting on the case. It wasn’t surprising to see agents bond, but the bond that seemed to exist between Prentiss and Hotchner seemed to run deeper. She’d watched them finish each other’s thoughts and sentences without regard to anything or anyone around them. She’d watched them have their own little conversations in a glance, watched her dial his ex-wife one afternoon and kick her boss out to talk to his son.

Prentiss understood Hotchner in a way Erin hadn’t seen before. It was obvious from the way they handled each other that they spent a lot of time together and while it could often be a result of the job, Hotchner didn’t seem to have the same relationship with the rest of his team. It led Erin to one conclusion and one conclusion only, even as she watched them suit up for the upcoming capture of Peter Isle.

There had to be something more between them.

The question for her now was how that was going to affect what she was planning to do. Or, in this case, what she wasn’t planning to do. The fraternization policy within the FBI was strict, especially on subordinate-supervisor relationships. There had been too much damage done by relationships that ripped teams apart for the Bureau to take any chances.

On the other hand, Hotchner had no higher aspirations. Prentiss had seemed perfectly content to stick to the BAU too. In fact, since her resignation – and Erin wouldn’t admit how perfectly timed it was to Hotchner’s potential transfer – Prentiss had seemed much more content. Since she’d been back from her injury almost two years ago, she seemed to settle in much better. It didn’t seem like she had aspirations to move any time soon.

Erin knew she had a few choices. She could split them up without acknowledging the relationship and allow them to carry on, bitter at her as they may end up being. Hotchner had made it very clear that his team was his family and he wouldn’t take well to them being divided. On the other hand, Erin could wait a few months until the posting for D Team chief came out. If Prentiss applied, well, there was a good chance she would be the best candidate for the job anyway. It would get her out of Hotchner’s command while keeping her sharp mind within the BAU.

Or, Erin could leave them be. It was hard enough for the agents working in the unit to have a life outside of the Bureau and though she didn’t know firsthand, seeing some of these cases clued her in to how difficult it was for the BAU agents to leave their work at the office. It was a difficult thing to do when the work followed you home as the gruesome cases were likely to do. If Hotchner found solace in another agent, even if it was under his own command, who was Erin to step on that? Their job was hard enough and Erin knew Hotchner was the noble type. If it wasn’t for Prentiss’ prior knowledge of the job they did, the stress they endured and the priority it was in their lives, he probably would be hiding it all from her anyway. And if it didn’t come into the office…

Who was she to split up a team that had made the BAU’s reputation almost single handedly?

 

Penelope more than willingly closed down the crime scene photos of the children wrapped in blankets. She dropped her head forward, chin down, eyes closed. She knew the team would be landing soon, if they hadn’t already and she wouldn’t put it past her girls to simply head home. Even Derek, calling to tell her they were on their way, sounded utterly exhausted and completely spent.

For the first time since the pregnancy test had come out positive, Penelope found herself wishing she’d just told Derek immediately. These were the cases where it was nice to have someone to lean on and if Derek sounded that dejected, she could only imagine how Emily and JJ felt. She wasn’t going to burden them anymore. At least not this time.

“Hey Baby Girl.”

And this was the number one reason she wished she’d let the cat out of the bag. She had been starting to feel incredibly guilty, especially as they began to mend the burned bridges. “Hey Sugar.”

Derek’s footsteps were heavy as he walked into the room, resting his hands on her shoulders. “We got him.”

“So you said on the phone,” Penelope replied with a touch of a smile.

“Let’s go get some ice cream. The chocolate mocha kind you love.”

The thought made her sick and gave her one heck of an opening. She barely gave herself time to think twice about what she was about to say. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Derek asked in confusion. Chocolate had always been Penelope’s thing, the same way apples were Emily’s.

Penelope closed her eyes, willing her courage back to her. She’d started this and she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to just tell him, once and for all. “I’m six months pregnant. Chocolate makes me sick.”

“What?”

She knew he wasn’t talking about the chocolate. Her eyes opened to lock on his shocked face. “I’m pregnant.”


	64. Chapter 64

That was news Derek hadn’t suspected in the slightest and he knew it showed on his face. He didn’t even realize Penelope had moved until the only chair in the room hit the back of his knees. He sat down. Hard.

Penelope was trying to keep herself from babbling. It was her nervous habit, worse than shaking hands and buckling knees. It was getting worse and worse as he continued to stare quietly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She almost had to bite her own tongue to keep from saying anything else.

“Am I the last to know?” he managed to force out.

“Reid and Morrow don’t know,” she replied. “And if Hotch knows, I didn’t tell him.”

“Em knows?”

Penelope forced out a laugh. “Yeah.” She’d heard about the brunette’s conversation with Derek and knew it was probably that conversation that had him extending the olive branch to continue their friendship, even if it was without the sexual undertones.

“We need to talk about this,” he said, running a hand over his head. This felt like a bigger bombshell than being arrested in Chicago.

Penelope took a deep breath. She had no idea where her reserves of strength had come from. “Yeah,” she agreed, clasping her hands to hide their shaking. “Let me know.”

“Now.”

She blinked. She’d assumed he’d want time to process what she’d just told him. “Oh.” His hands went to her stomach, a protective gesture.

“Not here.” His eyes were a mess of emotions as they met hers. “Your place?”

She had vanilla ice cream at home and strawberry jam, a combination while not as disgusting as the urban legends she’d heard cravings to be had been her vice nonetheless. That was more of a pull than the push of the memory of the last emotional night they’d spent at her apartment. “Sure.”

He stood, towering over her in flats. He hadn’t noticed that. She looked so much more vulnerable and delicate than the formidable technical goddess he knew her to be. Derek sighed, gripping her hands to pull her into his arms. It was the first time he’d allowed himself to hold her since Tuscon and he could feel the growing bulge of her stomach. His heart swelled at the thought. “I’m happy, I think.”

She knew the feeling all too well, but couldn’t resist – needed – to tease him. “You think? That’s not all that comforting.”

He chuckled, the sound strained. “Well, Mama, it’s the best I can give you right now.”

Penelope snorted at the endearment. “I’ll meet you there.”

“Are you okay to drive?” Derek asked in concern, pulling away to cup her cheeks in his palms. His protective instincts were already in overdrive when it came to the woman in his arms. The knowledge that she was carrying a child, ‘delicate’ as so many referred to pregnant woman, hiked those instincts up exponentially.

She gripped his wrists to pull him away. It was enough emotional turmoil to think of the conversation they were about to have without having to think about his touch on her skin again. “I’ve been driving for years. I think I can get myself home just fine.”

“Okay,” he said, sounding dubious. “I have to grab a couple of things from my desk. I’ll meet you there?”

“I’m on my way,” she assured him.

Impulsively, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll see you in twenty minutes.”

If she didn’t melt into the floor right there. She let out a breath when the door closed behind her. The last thing she needed was to concentrate on a pipe dream. It was just a matter of quickly shutting down her secret weapons and gathering her purse before heading out the door. She had to remind herself to breathe as she drove Esther back to her complex. Usually, she ran on nerves, on adrenaline. It was a demand of her job, much like her insomnia usually was.

She vaguely wondered what it would be like when her child was born, how she was going to handle her job and a new baby. It was going to be difficult enough since it wasn’t like she could leave Peanut with Derek. He left on cases. She chuckled to herself as she thought about bringing a baby into her lair. She’d have to hide Peanut in a corner, make sure her baby couldn’t see the horrors she dealt with. She’d wager her insomnia during cases would more than certainly come in handy.

Penelope tried to let her mind wander as she walked up the steps to her apartment. The last thing she wanted to do was dwell on the fact that Derek was about to come over to talk about the one thing that had completely and totally altered her life. Well, meeting Derek aside, because that had probably been the first step in the completely life-altering process. Instead, she let her mind go about her plans for the next couple of days and the precision art of making a sundae.

Nevertheless, the knock made her jump and made her heart beat painfully against her ribs. The nerves were back and they were back with a vengeance. Butterflies made her hands shake as she went to open the door. He had a key – for emergencies that she’d never really bothered to take back – but she had a feeling it was his manners that had him knocking instead.

“Hey,” he said, his voice devoid of any emotion.

To anyone else, it would be nerve-wracking if only because it seemed like his emotions were unreadable. To Penelope, however, it spoke to his state of mind, his own nervousness and residual shock. “Hey,” she answered, standing back to allow him entry.

Derek stepped in, his heart racing. A child. She was pregnant with his child! It hadn’t happened the way he’d hoped and dreamed, but he wasn’t sure he could complain. And now that he’d had a twenty minute drive to completely absorb the information, he felt much more comfortable with the idea. He looked around, catching sight of the sundae bowl on the counter. “You hate strawberries.”

Penelope actually laughed. “Peanut doesn’t,” she replied, stepping around him to take the bowl to the couch.

“Peanut?” Derek asked, following her lead.

“It’s what Em and Jayje nicknamed the baby,” she responded with a smile that she hoped hid her nerves.

But Derek was trained to read behaviour. He took a deep breath. “Pen, I’ve never been in this situation before. I don’t know what to do.”

Penelope blinked. That definitely wasn’t what she was expecting. She expected to have to beat around the bush a little bit to actually get what was going on in his head. “I’m not exactly sure either,” she replied.

He took her hand, meeting her eyes solemnly. “I want to be a part of this child’s life. I _need_ to be a part of this child’s life.”

“I want you to be a part of Peanut’s life,” Penelope answered honestly. “But not if you’re doing it because it’s a responsibility.” She knew that wasn’t Derek’s style, but that didn’t mean she didn’t need to hear it too.

“It’s not,” he promised. “I’m going to be there for my child. For _our_ child.”

Penelope sighed. Now came the virtual hard part. “How?”

“How what?”

“How do you want to be a part of Peanut’s life?”

“As much as possible,” he answered.

Penelope knew how important this was to him, knew that he didn’t want to be a part time parent, but she wasn’t sure _he_ understood what he was committing to. “So we’ll shuttle Peanut back and forth?”

Derek sighed in exasperation. “I don’t know, Mama. I don’t want to miss anything, but I know that I’m going to.”

“I was just thinking about that,” she said with a slight chuckle. They weren’t going to get anything done if they tried to hash it all out now. It was enough for him to absorb that he was going to be a father, let alone all of the logistics that needed to go along with it.

“How?”

Her ice cream lay forgotten on the coffee table, but she didn’t care. “Well, you go away on cases, I work during cases… what are we supposed to do with Peanut?”

“I hadn’t thought about that,” he said honestly.

“I know,” she replied. “But remember, Hot Stuff, I’ve had more time to think about these things.”

Derek nodded solemnly. That was something he had been trying to avoid thinking about. Now that she’d brought it up, however, it gave him an opening. “Six months more.”

“We were at a weird enough stage in our friendship, Derek,” she said slowly, understanding the underlying tone in his voice. No one could read him like she could and it was something she actually enjoyed exploiting. “To throw the news of a baby into that mix… You’d bolted once, it would have torn me apart to have you turn me away again.”

He felt his heart clench. “I’m so sorry, Beautiful.”

“I know,” she responded trying for a brave smile. “Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less.”

“I was stupid.”

She really didn’t want to talk about it. It was hard enough that she had to think about that night every time she looked at herself in the mirror, at the changes pregnancy had brought to her body. To talk about it with him, to bring up all of the pain and rejection she’d felt at waking up alone… it was quite simply asking too much. “It doesn’t matter now, Derek.”

“It does,” he insisted. He swallowed thickly. He didn’t bare his heart often. It had been stomped on one too many times for him to open up easily. But she’d been through so much that he hadn’t fully realized, that much he was sure of. “I took advantage of you.”

This time, Penelope’s sigh was one of exasperation and annoyance as she pushed herself up from the couch as gracefully as she could. “I was fully in charge of my state of mind, Derek. I didn’t exactly fight you off.” On the contrary, she’d encouraged him.

“It was a difficult case, you’d seen your family put on the line not once but twice. I shouldn’t have-“

“Don’t,” Penelope said sharply. “Whatever you were about to say, it’s irrelevant now, okay? It happened and I’m sorry I’m not what you wanted and I’m sorry I’m pregnant and-“

“Whoa!” Derek exclaimed, all but jumping off the couch to get to her side. “What are you talking about?”

Tears punched at her eyes as she angrily washed out her ice cream bowl. What a sad waste of good strawberry jam. “Please,” she scoffed, her throat choking.

“Stop,” he ordered, taking both of her hands in one of his and turning off the tap. “Talk to me.”

She sniffled as she struggled against his hold. “Why?”

“Because I want to know where this is coming from.”

“As if you don’t know,” she accused. Logically, she knew the mood swing had nothing to do with her actual mood. She could usually have conversations calmly, showing emotion, yes – she wasn’t a rock like Em or Hotch – but with enough clarity and without tears.

“I don’t,” he swore.

“Look at me,” she said tearily. “I’m the size of a whale at six months pregnant, I hide in my computers, I-“

“Stop it,” he almost yelled, probably scaring her into complying. He sighed. “I went about this the wrong way.”

Penelope snorted but let him lead her back to the couch. He sat on the coffee table, forcing her to the couch, keeping a hold of both of her hands.

“Listen to me. You are one of the most beautiful people I have had the pleasure of knowing. No,” he said as she opened her mouth to interrupt. “You’re going to let me finish.”

She snapped her mouth closed audibly. It had been a long time since she’d seen him this passionate about anything.

“You don’t hide in your computers,” he contradicted. “You help us catch criminals. You are the one we turn to when we’re completely at a loss, the person who finds connections that we could never hope to find. You’re the person who makes everything just that little bit brighter when we look at death, mayhem and destruction every day. You are compassionate, you are family, you are _everything_ to us.”

The next words came out completely impassioned, trying to make her see what he already did. “You know I love you. I don’t understand what would make you think you are anything less than gorgeous.”

The tears had started flowing as he spoke, as he reminded her of how much she meant to the people she loved. His reminder of his words after Battle had shot her started her heart beating faster. Still, her insecurities held on tight. “I’m not exactly your type,” she said softly.

Emily had warned him about this, reminded him just before he’d left. He’d allowed it, knowing that Hotch’s absence was grating on her nerves. It would grate on him too if he was in her position. Hotch had been the only one called into Strauss’ office and too soon after the case for it to be anything necessarily good.

“What is my type?” he asked.

“I’m not the type you usually go for,” she said.

“You’re avoiding answering.”

Penelope rolled her eyes. “Thin, gorgeous, normal… The model type.”

“Huh,” he said. “I don’t want a person just beautiful on the outside.”

“Now you’re just talking in clichés.”

“I’m not,” he promised. “It takes a lot to put up with me.”

“Your habits aren’t that bad,” she said without thinking. “Well, except for that throw-yourself-into-the-middle-of-every-possibly-dangerous-situation one. I think they call that a hero complex.”

“We all have that,” Derek replied quietly.

“Hmm, Reid doesn’t.”

“Pen…”

“Look, let’s be honest, Derek-“

“Let’s,” he agreed, his tone warning. He wasn’t surprised when her mouth snapped shut.

“I don’t think we’re going to get agreement on this one,” she said quietly after a moment.

Derek sighed. “I don’t know how to get you to see that I’m happy about Peanut.” He arched an eyebrow as she giggled.

“You said ‘Peanut’.”

“That’s what you’re calling the baby, aren’t you?”

Penelope nodded. “I refused to find out the sex of the baby. Peanut’s generic enough.”

He laughed along with her, glad for the lightening of the mood. “I’m going to have to tell my mom.”

“We’ll tell your mom,” she promised.

“She won’t be upset,” he pointed out. “She’ll ask when the wedding is.”

“I’m not marrying you because you knocked me up, Derek Morgan.”

He chuckled. “I know,” he said. She was traditional in many ways, but with her previous comment about ‘responsibility’ he was sure there was nothing he could say now that would convince her marrying her would have nothing to do with Peanut. “But you will go on a date with me.”

“I beg your pardon?” The shock and surprise was more than obvious in her voice.

“I’ve done this backwards,” he tried to explain.

“Derek, come on,” Penelope whined. “I’m six months pregnant, not exactly date material.”

“You are always date material,” he said with a smile. “No teasing. And I’m not taking ‘no’ as an answer.”

She knew he could be as stubborn as she could and he seemed so gung-ho on it that she wasn’t sure she could even start to get him see that he was beating a dead horse. Her feelings aside, of course, but it would make her feel worse if something came of his chivalrous obligation just to assuage her feelings. That wasn’t Penelope’s style.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow night,” he said. “We’ll keep it simple.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Simple?”

“Well, you’re going to have to get me a list of foods that make you sick, but we won’t be out late. We’ll go see a movie, have dinner… simple.”

She liked simple. Well, she’d like anything so long as it was with Derek Morgan, but he didn’t need to know that. Plus, either she’d wake up from this dream in the morning or he’d realize what a monumental mistake it was and everything would be back to normal.

“Let’s get you in bed, Mama.”

She waved him off. “It’s not bedtime yet,” she said. “I’m just going to watch a movie.”

“You’ll fall asleep on the couch.”

“I’ll have you know I haven’t done that in almost five months,” she told him primly. “My back hates me horribly in the morning and since it already hates me now, I figure less strain the better.” She laughed when he looked at her dubiously. “Go. I’ll be fine.”

He seemed to battle with himself for a moment before giving in. “Tomorrow. You’re not backing out on me.”

What was the point? He’d realize it soon enough and she’d be left as nothing more than the mother of his first born. It wouldn’t matter. “Tomorrow.”

He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “I’m happy,” he said quietly, his hand straying sweetly to her stomach. “So happy.”

She followed him to the door, smiling as she watched him walk out and locking the door behind her. 


	65. Chapter 65

Anxious was nowhere close to describing what Emily was feeling. Aaron had been called into Strauss’ office almost an hour before hand and she was trying not to focus on it. It was difficult, especially when she felt there was so much at stake. Actually, it was more than that. She hadn’t taken a deep breath in the hour since he’d been called in.

There were so many things Emily felt they could be called on. They’d been so incredibly careful with the relationships that were sprouting up in the team and she knew she’d tried to be even more careful when checking on Penelope, but they weren’t perfect. And that was only on a personal level. That didn’t touch on the uncharacteristic display of volatile emotion Aaron had portrayed.

And her own reaction to that. She was pretty sure Strauss had been watching her return, speak quickly to Derek and head over to Aaron, not to mention knowing that she’d been there when Derek had called to tell her Aaron had almost exploded. For Emily, it was a usual thing and she almost blamed herself for not keeping a tighter reign on her observations. Still, she knew she wasn’t a babysitter and knew that as much as she didn’t mind keeping Aaron on track, it wasn’t necessarily her job either.

The fact that she knew many of them would have done the same thing in Aaron’s position meant a lot too. Penelope had almost burst into tears when the news had reached her that another child had been killed not to mention her own primal reaction to the case. It was easy to see why someone would react violently to the death of a child when there were kids as fantastic as Jack wandering around.

She’d given up the pretence of trying to do work and moved herself into Aaron’s office almost fifteen minutes prior. There was no one else in the office so it didn’t matter much anyway, but she needed the comfort of his office. It wasn’t really doing it’s job though. Her heart was still beating a little bit faster than usual and there was a distinct lump in her throat as she waited.

JJ and Reid had gone home long ago at Emily’s insistence and she knew Derek and Penelope were having an all-important conversation. She was on her own with her thoughts, a dangerous combination. Especially when her thoughts were as pessimistic as they happened to be.

After all, it was going to be necessary for one of them to have a contingency plan, that was for sure. In fact, she’d already double checked and updated her resume so as to be prepared for the potential application process she’d have to go through. She wouldn’t let Aaron leave the BAU, no matter how well or how precisely he argued. She could probably ambush him too if he hadn’t thought about the ramifications of his discussion.

She was curled up in the corner of his comfortable leather couch when he returned, so he didn’t register her presence immediately. She liked that, however. It gave her a moment to try and read what had happened and react accordingly. She hadn’t expected shock and it made her blood start pumping faster in her veins.

“What did she tell you?”

The only evidence that she’d surprised him was the speed with which his head snapped up. “I thought you’d gone home.”

She snorted in disbelief. “Yeah right. What happened?”

“I’m… I’m not sure.”

Emily raised an eyebrow, trying to keep herself calm. “You’re not sure?”

“She…”

Emily sighed as he trailed off yet again, pushing herself up. “You’re killing me. Who’s leaving?”

“No one,” he said, his voice betraying his continued shock.

“What?”

“No one’s leaving. She’s not splitting up the team.”

“She’s not,” Emily repeated. “Why?”

“She was impressed with our teamwork.”

“She hates you.”

“I don’t think that matters.”

“I don’t understand.”

Aaron shook his head. “Neither do I,” he answered honestly.

“So then who was fired?”

“No one.”

“No one was fired and no one’s leaving.”

“Right.”

That put some of her at ease. “Did she say anything about two days ago?”

Aaron knew what she was referring to and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Are you – gosh this is going to sound so junior school – are you in trouble?”

“With the principal?” he teased, the outcome of his meeting starting to sink in an excite him. There was still a part he had yet to tell her, arguably the best news of the whole thing.

“I told you it would sound junior school.”

“I got a slap on the wrist,” he allowed. “In the long run anyway.”

“Aaron, spit it out.”

“She’s not going to address fraternization so long as it doesn’t come into the office.”

Emily had to sit down again. Her pessimism had been useless and very much in vain. “She what?”

There had been a lot of reactions Emily had gone through when she thought about the different things within the team, but none of them had even considered her accepting that fraternization was happening without punishing one, if not both of them, for it. That didn’t make sense to her at all.

“There is a catch.”

Emily started breathing again. “I figured as much.”

He moved to sit beside her. He didn’t want to hold her back. If she had ambitions… well, he didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t strive for them. “Neither of us will be moving within the FBI.”

“None of us like change.”

“Emily, think about it.”

“I have. I had to,” she groused. “I didn’t have much else to do while I was waiting for you to get out of Strauss’ office. I certainly wasn’t going home.”

“There will be no ascension in the FBI. You’ll work under me for the rest of our days,” Aaron said.

Emily laughed slightly. “I understand, Aaron. I don’t mind.”

“You don’t mind?”

Emily shrugged. “I like my job. In fact, I love my job, and I love the people I get to deal with every day. The team wouldn’t be the team if one of us left.”

“I’m not talking in five or ten years, Emily. Never.”

She leaned over, kissing his cheek. “Never say never.”

“You’re optimistic.”

“I’m _happy_ ,” she said with a brilliant smile. “We get to keep our jobs and each other.”

“At the cost of our future.”

She arched an eyebrow. “I can apply for another job.”

“No.” It was a reflexive action.

“Look,” she said, taking his hand. “You already told me that it would be a bad idea for me to leave the unit. Strauss has given us the opportunity to continue our relationship, heck, almost to broadcast it, so long as our issues and our feelings stay at the plane door. It’s nothing different from what we’ve been doing now.”

He hadn’t thought about it that way. He’d gotten so focused on stopping her career growth that he hadn’t given thought to the benefits.

“Plus, now that we know what the Bureau’s going to do, we can talk about the future with a much better idea of what we’re dealing with. We know the Bureau won’t be a problem so long as we don’t make it a problem.”

When she put it like that, it sounded like a rather appealing future, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was about to hold her back. “Emily…”

“Nuh uh,” she contradicted. “No way. You don’t get to feel guilty. This is my decision as much as it is yours. I love the team, my family, and I love you. I can give up my career future for that without regrets if I get to keep both.”

“It almost seems too easy,” Aaron argued.

“Hey,” she said, placing her hands on either side of his face. “Let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth, huh?”

“You’re really happy about this,” he said, allowing his surprise through. The thought that she could truly be happy without moving in the FBI, an ambition she’d held since beginning in the unit, meant a lot. He could feel the warmth washing over his brain, felt words he could form lodge in his throat.

“I am,” she promised. “Really happy.”

He kissed her, revelling in his new ability to technically do it whenever he wanted. The itch in his head got stronger, as if there was some sort of question clamouring to get loose. “I’m glad.”

She arched an eyebrow as she sat back a bit. “And you?”

“If you’re happy, I’m happy,” he told her, the straight truth.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to measure your own happiness on that of someone else’s,” she said, pursing her lips. “But I’ll take it.”

Aaron chuckled. “I thought so.”


	66. Chapter 66

JJ had heard about Derek’s journey over to Pen’s the previous night and had full intention of squeezing any and all information out of the blond before Emily could get to her. It went without saying that Emily had the advantage on details from Derek, so JJ would take her skills where she could get them. And her skill was the uncanny ability to get any information out of Penelope Garcia.

The blond seemed surprisingly subdued as she sat at her computer screens. JJ recognized the diagnostic and update programs running on her various screens and breathed out a sigh of relief. “Morning.”

Penelope smiled briefly as she turned back to JJ. “Hey Jayje.”

The younger blond took the rolling chair from the corner and plopped into it. “What’s up?”

Penleope sighed. She did love to gush. “I had the most awesome dream last night.”

“Really?” JJ vaguely wondered what dream could be better than actually having Derek in her apartment the previous night, talking about their child, but figured she’d let Pen have her moment.

“Mmhmm. It was glorious. The man of my dreams in my apartment, talking about Peanut… He even said he wanted to keep the baby and take me out for dinner tonight.”

JJ arched an eyebrow. “Uh, Pen?”

“What?”

“You do know Derek actually went to your apartment last night, right? He left from here and went straight to your place.”

Penelope blinked owlishly. “What?”

“I don’t think it was a dream.”

“But it... It has to be.”

“Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt, apparently,” JJ commented wryly. “What happened?”

“Um... Well, he wants to be a part of Peanut’s life.”

JJ resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Of course he did. “Well that’s good.”

Penelope closed her eyes. She’d been floating around in a sort of depression because she believed her previous night had been nothing but a dream. It was taking her brain a few minutes to catch up to the idea that she might actually be living that dream.

“Pen?”

“You’re sure it wasn’t a dream?” Penelope asked, vulnerability loud in her voice. “It feels to good to be anything but.”

“Oh, honey,” JJ lamented, leaning forward and wrapping her friend in a hug. “It was real.”

“It was? Then...”

“Tell me all about it,” the younger blond requested. “From the beginning.”

So JJ sat and listened with rapt attention as Penelope detailed her conversation from the previous night. Her voice spoke of the awe and surprise at being reassured what she’d experienced most certainly had not been a figment of Pen’s over-active imagination. JJ was almost green with envy at Derek’s swavely romantic side.

“Why would you even want to think that was a dream?” she asked when Penelope finished her story. “Everything you want is right there for the taking!”

Penelope sighed. “I don’t want him to wine and dine me out of a twisted obligation to Peanut.”

“Just because he wants to be a part of his child’s life doesn’t mean everything else becomes a responsibility,” JJ argued softly. “Maybe he does actually want to be with you.”

“Jayje, think of who you’re talking about here. This is the high school jock, the hottie every girl lusts after. I’m not exactly the prom queen.”

JJ blew out a breath trying to figure out how to best explain to Penelope she was someone special. Then, it came to her. “Maybe you’re better off to talk to Spence about this.”

“Honey, our Boy Wonder is many spectacular things. A love guru is not one of them,” the other woman scoffed.

“But he feels like the school freak getting the prom queen,” JJ answered.

That was good logic and Pen knew it. “Jayje...”

“You have no reason to not go after what you want,” the media guru said slowly, softly. “We aren’t in high school. The stereotypes don’t apply.”

“He can do better.”

“Better is a relative term.” She waited for a response from her friend and pushed on when none was forthcoming. “Look at it from his side too.”

“You’ve seen the kinds of girls he dates,” Penelope said.

JJ rolled her eyes. “He goes on dates with them. There has never been anything long term there.”

“So why am I different?”

Because you damn well should be, JJ thought to herself. “You know more about him than anyone in the world.”

“Not because I asked him about it. I had to hack into his sealed juvie record.”

“It solved the case.”

“Now you’re just looking for a reason to make it too good to be true,” JJ snapped. She sighed, deflating almost instantly. “What have you got to lose to believe, just for five minutes, that he might actually want _you_?”

“Everything,” Penelope answered.

“Promise me something,” JJ ordered.

“What?”

“You’ll go into your date tonight with an open mind. I don’t care if you have to convince yourself that it’s not Derek Morgan just… let yourself consider the possibilities.” JJ knew there was no way Pen could deny her that much, especially when she pulled out that slightly dejected voice. Sometimes, one had to manipulate ones they loved for their own good.

Sure enough, Penelope sighed. “Okay. I promise to be open-minded tonight.”

“You’ll see,” JJ said, jumping up and heading for the door. “It’ll turn out better than you think.”

 

Emily, on the other hand, had turned her attention to Derek the minute he walked through the bullpen doors. She knew she had information he wanted and she’d be more than willing to give it up for fair trade. She was _dying_ to know what had gone on between Derek and Penelope the previous night. Of course, she’d have an outlet in Penelope, who she fully intended to interrogate should this conversation with Derek not work out to her benefit.

“I don’t have to tell you anything.”

Emily shrugged. “But you will.”

“You seem so confident.”

“I’m going to find out either way. Wouldn’t you rather tell me your side?” Emily looked at him innocently, profiling him as she did so. He looked pleased, but frustrated. “You want to tell me.”

He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. He did want to tell her, but more because he wanted someone’s opinion rather to than someone to talk to. Emily was an excellent choice. She had Penelope’s opinion as well as her own.

“You know,” she said, making a show of glancing in her coffee mug. “I could use some coffee. And breakfast. I skipped today.” She wrinkled her nose. “Come down with me?”

She seriously acted more like his sister than his colleague more often than not. He didn’t mind. It just cemented the family mentality within the team. “Sure. I could use something myself.”

“You shouldn’t skip breakfast,” she scolded playfully, grabbing her wallet out of her desk drawer. They made their way out of the bullpen to the elevator. Emily managed to wait until they were descending before turning to him expectantly.

“Where do you want me to start?”

“Um… the beginning,” she said, her tone implying it should have been obvious.

“She scared the crap out of me. It… it just came out.”

Emily cocked her head to the side. “Understandable.”

“What?”

“Think about it,” Emily replied with a shrug. “You left her alone the morning after and that was a huge blow to her trust. You’ve got to cut her a little bit of slack.”

“But it’s my _child_.”

“It is. And she told you, so the fact that it took her six months should be water under the bridge. What did you tell her?”

“First I asked her if I was the last to know…”

“Idiot.”

He ignored her. “We had to talk. She suggested later. I wanted then.”

“Logically.”

“We went back to her place and talked about it.”

Emily huffed out a breath as she got off the elevator and led the way to the cafeteria. “You would make a terrible girl.”

“Thank God I’m not one then,” he responded wryly.

“What did you talk about? Are you going to be a part of Peanut’s life?”

“Of course I am,” he said, his tone almost offended by the question.

She held up her hands in surrender. “What else?”

“We’ve got a lot to talk about,” he said. Their conversation paused in the line, even though it was short. Occupational hazard to keep their private lives completely out of the Bureau. Or they tried, anyway. With the little clique the women had developed it was difficult to keep things private. But Derek trusted all three women so he wasn’t sure he was too concerned. He was confused for a split second when Emily headed for the tables spread about the room. “You want to sit?”

“I want to finish our conversation,” Emily returned. “The minute we go back upstairs this finishes and I haven’t gotten half of the information out of you that I want.”

Derek groaned, but slid into the almost isolated back booth. Emily was like a dog with a bone when she wanted to be and it seemed like she wasn’t going to give up this particular topic anytime soon.

And Emily seriously had no intention of doing so. There was so much work involved in keeping her friends’ love lives in tact that she needed as many details as possible. Especially when dealing with the insecurity-driven Penelope Garcia. “So you have a lot to talk about. Like what?”

“Place to live, for one thing. I think we’re both agreed on not wanting to shuttle the kid back and forth to Mom and Pops’ houses. That’s not fair to the kid.”

Emily nodded her agreement as she tore off a piece of the muffin she’d purchased. She’d eaten breakfast with Aaron earlier, a fact she was sure Derek knew, but she liked to keep her hands busy. “Anything decided?”

“No, postponed. It was enough to try and realize she was pregnant without having to worry about the details. Along with where you’re going to live there’s the issue of daycare when Pen comes back to work and where Peanut is going to stay while we’re on cases…”

“What about you and Hotch?” He caught the split-second deer-in-the-headlights look.

“What about us?”

“Well, you’ve been together how long?”

Emily blushed. “Eighteen months, next month.”

“Hotch isn’t one to play serious. When are you guys stepping up?”

“We’re not talking about me,” she scolded. “We’re talking about you. That couldn’t have been the extent of the night.”

“No,” he agreed. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it. This was the part of the night that had almost torn his heart from his chest at the pain he’d known he put her though. Self-preservation was a terrible thing when coupled with someone else’s well-being.

“Did you talk about that night?”Emily pressed, understanding his discomfort.

“Long story short, yeah.”

“Ah, airing insecurities is never fun,” she commiserated, sliding her muffin more to the center of the table. Banana was his favourite.

Derek started picking at the muffin too. “We agreed that doing the obligation thing was useless,” he said, understanding Emily would pick up on the nuances of the conversation. It had briefly crossed his mind, marrying her because she was pregnant, but more specifically because it was an excellent chance to bind her to him rather than out of obligation for Peanut. He hadn’t thought about whether she’d see it that way or not.

“Smart choice. Too much stress.”

He nodded his agreement. “I told her she was going to go on a date with me tonight.” The pleasure was obvious in Emily’s eyes and on her face.

“Really?”

Derek simply nodded.

“That’s awesome!”

“She didn’t seem to think so.”

“Pen often doesn’t know what’s good for her, don’t worry about it. She’ll come around.”

He huffed out a breath. “I don’t understand where all of the uncertainty is coming from,” he admitted allowing his frustration to get the better of him.

“She’s been the invisible computer geek all of her life, give her some time to adjust to someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“Your perceived and totally wrong faults aside, you’re that jock that she could never have. You’re the guy who just doesn’t date the slightly nerdy tech goddess that hides behind computer screens,” Emily tried to explain.

“I don’t see her like that.”

“I know that,” Emily agreed. “She doesn’t. Just to add another insecurity to that list of yours.”

Derek chuckled. “We make quite the pair, don’t we?”

“It certainly is a relationship of insecurities,” she agreed. “We all have things we don’t like about ourselves, but remember, Pen was there for the case in Chicago. She knows a lot about you, not because she’s looked it up herself but because she had to so she could help save you. Yet you both insist on causing problems for the rest of your loving family that would love it if you would just deal with everything already and start dating. No sense wasting time arguing on whether or not you’re attracted to each other.

“But that’s not the way Pen sees it. She sees herself as someone no one would want. She’s sure she’d going to end up with some average or less than attractive man and people who are as hot as you –I’m pretty sure I’m paraphrasing her there – would and shouldn’t look twice at her.”

“That’s stupid.”

Emily laughed. “For you maybe. But you have your own insecurities about it that I could probably dispel with the same argument.”

Derek sighed. As per usual, Emily made excellent points, both about himself and about Penelope. “So?”

“So what?”

Derek tapped his fingers against his thigh. It was difficult for him to ask for help when it came to dating, but this was Penelope. All of the rules changed with Penelope. “What should I do?”

Emily arched an eyebrow at him. “You’ve already asked her on a date so you go on the date and see what happens.”

“Em… This is…”

“She can’t eat or smell chocolate,” Emily said, catching on to what he was trying to ask and saving him the perceived weakness of telling her. “She gets really self conscious when someone comments on an eating habit that seems particularly weird or off. And please, dear God, don’t let her eat tomatoes or celery. She says she’s fine, but they don’t settle in her stomach. But Peanut doesn’t usually give her much trouble. She’s had a pretty easy six months with the pregnancy.”

“I’m glad,” Derek admitted honestly. “Other than that…”

“She’s fine,” Emily nodded. “She’s actually a pretty good judge of her own abilities. There’s just a few things she doesn’t watch herself on.” She blew out a breath and tossed a piece of muffin at him. “You know her. She’s a simple girl.”

“Yeah right,” Derek said dryly, tossing crumbs at his colleague. “Pen’s anything but simple.”


	67. Chapter 67

It almost went as a no-brainer that JJ and Emily intended to get together for lunch that day. They kept the conversation light, chattering inanely as they made their way out of the FBI building to the nearby field. The late April weather was gorgeous, surprisingly warm for the time of year, but it didn’t seem to bother either young woman. On the contrary, they were both in high spirits. Very high sprits.

It wasn’t until they’d settled at one of the picnic tables, just outside the outdoor training fields, that JJ even thought about changing the subject. “So, everything worked out.”

Emily blushed. “It did.”

“Even Pen and Derek.”

“Thank God for that,” Emily agreed with a massive sigh of relief. “What did she say?”

“She thought she was dreaming,” JJ chuckled. “It was painful to try and convince her otherwise.”

The brunette let out an ironic snort. “You know, we make quite the team when it comes to relationships.”

JJ cocked her head to the side, her question obvious.

“Think about it,” Emily said as she snatched a carrot from JJ’s bag. “Each one of us thinks the other is too good for them.”

JJ considered this a minute. She’d never seen Emily or Hotch exhibit such a claim, but she knew Spencer often had to struggle to convince himself that JJ was actually with him instead of leading him on to be nice. JJ herself had been a victim of her own insecurities time and time again. Spencer was someone who was fast becoming everything to her and it was a scary concept. She didn’t want to be hurt and though Hotch had made it clear at the staff meeting that no one was leaving against their will, JJ still felt like she had to be careful about her relationship with Spencer.

“So what happened?”

The blond snapped her attention back to her friend. “I had to convince her that it wasn’t a dream and Derek had actually gone over to her place.”

“How did that go?”             

“It took time. I think she’s still in denial that he may actually like her. She probably still thinks he’s going to cancel last minute.”

Emily raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “No way. It’s sad the pregnancy was what triggered it though.”

JJ nodded and murmured her agreement through a mouthful of cheese. Emily watched her friend worriedly. There was something up with JJ. She’d all but thrown herself into Pen’s pregnancy and though Pen had been thankful for it up to this point – they still had no idea what kind of role Derek was about to take – it scared Emily. JJ had a relationship of her own to try and work with and she was throwing herself into something that wouldn’t exactly help her in the long run.

Emily had always assumed Derek would find out about Peanut. It was simply a matter of time and as Emily watched JJ coddle Pen more than she herself had, Emily had started wondering if there was something off with her blond colleague. She knew JJ hadn’t been spending a lot of alone time with Reid recently, but, technically, it wasn’t her problem. Emily wasn’t even sure JJ was aware of it. As it was, the younger woman’s eyes were watching the trainees on the nearby field.

“They’re watching us,” JJ said, her voice far away.

The brunette arched an eyebrow. “We’re seasoned agents, what do you expect?”

“I don’t think that’s why they’re watching us,” JJ answered, her voice still far away. She squealed when a Goldfish impacted her forehead. “What was that for?”

“What’s going on with you,” Emily countered. “You’re zoned out, you’re quiet, you’ve thrown yourself into Pen’s pregnancy…. Is there something you want to talk about?” JJ tried to play innocent, but Emily had a feeling she’d simply forgotten she was sitting with a profiler.

“What are you talking about?’

“Jayje, it’s me,” the older woman replied. “Lying is useless, so is playing innocent. Talk to me.”

JJ chewed on her bottom lip, a sure sign that something was off in her world. “Did I make a mistake?” She sighed when her friend simply raised an eyebrow. “With Spence. Did I make a mistake?”

“By dating him you mean?”

“He’s a kid.”

Both of Emily’s eyebrows hit her hairline. “Where is this coming from?” she asked. This was actually a surprise. Insecurities were normal, everyone had them and everyone dealt with them, but this was a kind of insecurity Emily wasn’t exactly prepared for. “That’s never bugged you before.”

“He’s the same age as they are,” JJ continued as if Emily hadn’t spoken, waving to the field of trainees, her voice starting to thin out.

Emily blinked. She’d never realized this was something that had bothered JJ. She racked her brain, trying to come up with when this kind of fear may have manifested itself. She came up empty handed.

“Emily, what am I doing?”

JJ looked so pained and confused, that Emily’s heart went out to her. “A few weeks ago I’d have told you that you were following your heart, no matter how clichéd it sounds.”

That got a smile out of the blond, albeit a small one. “And now?”

“Now I’m not so sure,” Emily admitted honestly. “You and Reid danced around whatever this is for ages. Almost as long as Pen and Derek had been dancing around their thing. So I’m a little confused.”

JJ sighed. “I just… I feel like I… I have no idea.”

This was a statement that scared Emily a little bit more. It wasn’t like JJ to have an idea what was bugging her or have a theory as to how to fix it. “JJ, what brought this on?”

“I’ve been thinking about it,” she started quietly, not meeting Emily’s eyes. “I mean, I haven’t been spending time with him and we haven’t been out on a date in months.”

“Six months?” Emily asked curiously.

JJ paused for a moment, thinking about it. “Yeah.”

“Pen’s been pregnant for six months,” Emily said almost nonchalantly.

JJ blew out a breath. “Really?”

“You know that JJ,” Emily accused. “What is going on?”

The pestering was starting to get on JJ’s nerves. She was getting irritated with how hard Emily was pushing. Sometimes Emily could be worse than Pen when it came to personal relationships. “Look at us!” she exclaimed in exasperation. “We work a 24-hour job, we’re breaking fraternization rules, he’s so much younger than me, we like different things, we’re different people…”

Emily rested her hand on JJ’s to get her attention. “Have you talked to Reid about this? All of it?”

“Are you kidding me?” The flood had started and JJ wasn’t sure when it was going to let up. “Bring up age with him? About how he has a difficult time in any social situation?”

“JJ you _have_ to talk to him. You can’t just shove him aside for Pen because you have issues,” Emily said, concern more than obvious in her voice. “That’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to him.”

JJ sighed, deflating. “It’s going to hurt him.”

“Not talking to him, pushing him aside… that’s worse. What are you afraid of?”

It was frustrating when her best friends could profile her problems out of her. “I’m not afraid.”

Emily sighed, balling up her garbage. “Look, Jayje, I’m here for you, but you’ve got to figure this out and you’ve got to figure it out soon. It’s not fair to drag him along when you’re heart’s not in it.”

JJ let Emily leave on her own, not bothering to clean up quickly to follow. It was obvious that Emily was frustrated with the situation and really, JJ wasn’t sure she understood it either. What she did know was that things had been falling apart for her recently. She wasn’t even sure when it had started. What she did know was that she’d looked at her relationship and realized that she wasn’t sure she could handle Spence’s flaws.

They’d spent a lot of the relationship inside with movies and take out and while she understood that Spence wasn’t a social person, she wished they could spend _some_ time out and about. And he was always, _always_ nervous around her. Every step in their relationship minus the first one had been hers, as far as she could remember. She cut him some slack because of how big the first step was, but it was becoming more and more obvious that they were becoming incompatible.

Or at least that was how she saw it.


	68. Chapter 68

It hadn’t taken much to convince the team to head out on the town for a night, a chance to celebrate the changes that were happening within their team. They hadn’t celebrated Pen’s pregnancy and they hadn’t celebrated Strauss’ decision to keep the team as they were. They hadn’t had a chance or the opportunity to celebrate anything in a long while and so when the chance arose, all seven of them grabbed on with both hands.

So they took to the chosen bar laughing together, Emily’s arms linked with Pen and JJ’s as they made their way through the door and picked out a table big enough for all of them. Morrow slid into the large booth after her colleagues, leaving the men to have the edges.

“When was the last time we did this?” Penelope asked with a bright smile as she looked around at her family.

“More than six months, I can tell you that,” Emily groused, poking her blond friend.

Penelope stuck her tongue out in reply. “I blame Derek.”

“Hey!” Derek protested. “I’ll have you know-“

“No, no you won’t,” JJ interrupted wrinkling her nose. “Whatever you were about to say… just… keep it to yourself.”

They ordered drinks quickly, the women striking up a conversation almost immediately. It left the others to watch, more specifically, it left Aaron to watch. It was always fun to watch his team and even more so when they were so relaxed and laid back. It had been too long since he’d had the opportunity to simply watch Emily with her friends. He had to admit, he much preferred her away from the office, away from the stress and death.

Derek was in a similar position. Because it had been so long since the whole team had been out, it had been a long time since he’d gotten to see Pen away from everything. He had no idea how on earth he’d missed the changes in her body. She was his best friend, the woman whom he went to when things fell apart. He probably watched her closer than he ever watched Emily or JJ. So why on earth hadn’t he seen the changes pregnancy had reeked on her body?

At least she looked relaxed in the booth, surrounded by the people that cared about her the most. She was carefree, hair down and flowing in curls around her shoulders. She looked beautiful beside him and he couldn’t seem to stop himself from settling his hand against the back of the booth so his fingers could ghost through her hair.

“Hey Jane, can you go see what’s taking so long?” Emily asked. There was a smile playing at the corner of her mouth that had all of the others nervous. She was up to something.

Jane raised an eyebrow. “Is this an initiation thing?”

Emily laughed. “Not quite.” Her eyes were sparkling as they glanced quickly around the room. “I figured now would be as good of an opportunity as any to ask that guy at the bar why he’s been staring at you all night.”

Jane blushed heavily and looked away, glancing only for a split second at the man Emily had indicated. “He’s not staring at me.”

“Honey, go for it,” Penelope encouraged. “Get out there, have some fun.”

“Are you-“

“Go!” Emily exclaimed, shoving her slightly. “Have fun! Just let us know when you’re heading out.”

“Safety, got it. Um…”

“GO!” All three women exclaimed laughing. Spencer moved out of the way to let the other woman pass and they all watched as she headed to the bar. Sure enough, not thirty seconds after Jane’s hands had alighted on the wood did the man approach her.

“I didn’t take you for the matchmaking type,” Derek groused.

Emily raised an eyebrow. “Hey, I’ll have you know I can play the game with the best of ‘em, okay?”

Derek held up his hands in surrender. “Far be it for me to question.”

“Awe Pen! You’ve got him well-trained already,” JJ teased. She felt light and happy as she sat between her best friends. It was tempered only by the way she filled with guilt and sadness when she looked at Spence. In the few days since her conversation with Emily, JJ hadn’t come to any sort of conclusion at all. In fact, she had no idea what to do about her relationship with Spencer Reid.

She hadn’t been completely honest with Emily when they’d been talking. There were so many unknowns in her relationship with Spence, almost too many for JJ to handle at once. Unlike Emily and Hotch, there was no guarantee that she and Spence would be allowed to work together if their relationship came out. Unlike Emily and Hotch, who seemed to fit each other perfectly, JJ and Spence didn’t talk about their problems and rarely fought. Of course, that was probably partially JJ’s fault since for the last six months she’d wrapped herself up in Pen’s pregnancy.

She knew the team approved. Heck, they’d been looking forward to it for how long now? So it was difficult for JJ when her heart was saying one thing and her friends were saying the other. Which was, ironically, why she’d turned to Emily. While the older woman definitely wanted them to stay together, she’d also been the only one to give JJ a chance to talk herself out and the one person JJ could trust to look out for JJ’s well being as well as for what Emily thought was right.

The bar filled up slowly, patrons, people the team worked with or around and people who were looking forward to the weekend ahead. Emily recognized at least a few people she’d seen around Quantico and even waved at her elevator buddy, Agent James Chip as he entered with his wife and teammates. Soon, it was more than crowded and she realized the glass of her second drink was empty. “Bar run. Anyone?”

Derek and Pen shook their heads where JJ shook her glass. Emily smiled as she prodded Spencer out of the way and headed up to the bar. She’d glimpsed Jane as she wove through the crowd and smiled at how much fun she seemed to be having. She knew the girls didn’t mind and though she’d been with the team a while, it had taken JJ and Penelope a little bit longer to accept Jane. Emily blamed it on the drama that seemed to permeate their lives.

She made it up to the bar and breathed a sigh of relief. She grinned as the bartender noticed her.

“Honey! You have not been here in _ages_.”

Emily laughed as she balanced herself on the bar. “Sorry, Stu. Things have been crazy.”

“That’s no excuse!” the man exclaimed as he poured a drink without looking, setting it on the tray of a nearby waitress. “Usual?”

“Yeah and a Sex on the Beach.”

“Oooh, bring the whole gang?”

“Of course,” Emily joked, smiling flirtatiously. She’d missed Stu. Since they were at a bar the team had frequented before the drama of the last little while, it came as no surprise that Stu knew exactly what she wanted. And he was so gay that flirting with him came easy.

“Alright, you’re going to have to give me a bit. Holly called in sick so I’m a little backlogged until they can get-“

“Just get to it,” Emily joked. She rested her elbows against the bar as she waited, turning around to observe the crowd. She shook her head as she noticed JJ dancing awkwardly with Spence in the middle of some of the more tipsy patrons. Whatever was going on between her colleagues, she certainly hoped they figured it out soon. It was becoming painful to watch.

“What’s a pretty lady like you doing here all by yourself?”

Emily almost groaned as her eyes darted to the man that had approached. He’d squeezed himself into the space between her and the person next to her, facing her directly. Not even half a step and he’d be pressed to her side.

“Graham Townsend. I work with Senator Davies.”

Emily knew the Senator from various functions in and around the DC area, but she wasn’t about to tell the guy that. “Hi.”

“No name?”

God, he was pushy. Why her? Why now? Why here? “Marie,” she offered. Usually, she hated her middle name, but it worked well for a bar name.

“Pleasure.”

Her manners kicked in against her better judgment and she shook the hand he offered.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“It’s okay, thanks,” Emily replied with a tight smile. Why the heck was Stu taking so long? Where was Aaron or Derek when you needed them? She felt a little bit better when she caught JJ’s eye across the room. Sure enough, it wasn’t much later that she felt her entire body tense in anticipation, even though her eyes were politely fixed on whatever-his-name-was. It was nice to have Aaron-radar. She turned her face to his as his hand wrapped around the firm muscle of her hip.

“You disappeared.” He knew his words were loud enough for the guy to hear and filled with enough passion to make the woman he was now pressed against shiver. And she did. He grinned.

“Backlog at the bar,” Emily offered in explanation as she tipped her face up.

She looked beautiful with her head tipped back like that and Aaron couldn’t resist leaning down to seal her lips to his in a passionate kiss. She whimpered when he pulled away and he had to remind himself that they were in public. He turned to the stunned man beside Emily. “Sorry. She makes it easy to forget we’re not at home. Arthur Durst.”

“Graham Townsend.” The name was all but mumbled. The man looked cheerful enough, but there was something else lurking in his dark eyes.

“Sorry about that, honey. Oh! Hey there Boss Man!”

“Hey Stu,” Aaron responded with a smile, throwing a few bills on the bar. “Thanks.”

“Sure thing.” He cocked his head to the side as he watched how close the dark-haired man was standing to Emily. “Have a good night.”

The heat in Aaron’s eyes made her shiver. “Thanks Stu. I’m sure we will.”

Aaron carried one drink, Emily the other as they made their way back to the table. He kept a tight hold on her hand as he all but dragged her though the crowd. JJ had been the one to tip him off to Emily’s discomfort at the bar and he most definitely didn’t mind play knight in shining armour. That didn’t mean his possessive instincts hadn’t kicked in when he saw how close the guy was to his Emily.

Derek had moved around the table with Pen, both of them settled deep in the booth, holding their place. They seemed deep in conversation so Aaron didn’t feel too badly when he sat and all but yanked Emily down into his lap. Not that it would have taken much effort to get her there by her own free will. Her head leaned against his as his hands snuck under the loose hem of her top to stroke at her stomach.

“Mmm, what are you doing?” she mumbled into his ear.

“You’re irresistible,” he mumbled back, nipping her earlobe then pulling the delicate skin into his mouth.

Emily giggled, her hands slipping under her shirt to rest with his. But Aaron did nothing inappropriate, simply stroked his fingertips up and down her sides, across her stomach, always just touching the line between appropriate and not. Still, it made her blood pump faster, her cheeks flush, if possible, even more in the hot room. She knew this kind of insistent touch, had dealt with it before. Their first Thanksgiving for one, and times since then he’d spent the night watching other men watch her, watch them. He was always more adventurous when his possessive instincts came out and almost always more aggressive. Emily always enjoyed it.

Aaron glanced back at Pen and Derek, then around the room for JJ and Reid. All of the team seemed wrapped up in their own things so he was sure no one would be paying any attention to him and Emily. He pushed her up, steadying her when her knees wouldn’t hold her own body weight. He grinned. He loved it when he had that kind of effect on her.

His own heart was pounding when he led her out the door and into the cool dark night. He could feel his body humming, knew what that meant and until Emily protested, he was going to give his body what it wanted. And what it most definitely wanted was Emily Prentiss.

Sometimes, it surprised him how his desire for her hadn’t diminished in the slightest since they’d started seeing each other, since they’d started sleeping with each other. He couldn’t get enough of her every response, every touch. He couldn’t get enough of her skin, of her mouth, of _her_. It was always exponentially harder to resist his bodies urges when they were in public, when the possessiveness kicked in. Emily didn’t seem to mind and so he didn’t care.

“Aaron what are you-“

He cut her words off with a searing kiss as he pulled her around the corner into a dark alley. She all but melted against his body as the brick of the wall dug into his shoulder blades. What did he care? Everything that mattered was plastered against every inch of him. He broke away and pushed off the wall a little bit, turning to walk backwards into the dark. It was a dirty alley behind a bar, but he didn’t think he could resist her much longer. Alcohol, possessiveness and desire mixed in his blood throwing his caution to the wind without a backward glance or second thought.

So, as he pushed her back against the brick, hands straying under her shirt and up to touch her, he let his urges take over and grinned when she moaned. Sometimes throwing caution to the wind was endlessly rewarding.


	69. Chapter 69

Spencer knew something was off. Something had been off for six months. He’d barely seen JJ and though she hadn’t said a word to him, he wasn’t as blind as they sometimes thought he was. He saw the changes in Pen’s body and she was probably one of his best friends. He’d made the connection quickly. Pen was pregnant and JJ had thrown herself into it. She’d pulled away from him so completely he wasn’t exactly sure what they were doing dancing in a crowd full of people.

He knew her heart wasn’t in them anymore, had known for a while, but he was waiting for her to come to terms with it and deal with it. It was the downside of being a profiler and the best in his field. It also came with the belief that he knew JJ rather well. He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew that if her heart wasn’t in it, it wasn’t worth it to either of them. She could find someone who was more her style, someone social, handsome, someone who would shower her with everything and anything she wanted. He saddled her with nightmares and a social complex.

“Jenn?”

She pulled away, leaving his shoulder cold where her head had rested. “Yeah?”

He took a deep breath, putting a little more space between them and looking down at their feet for a split second. “I think we need to talk.”

JJ tensed. She wasn’t sure she wanted to have this conversation especially since Emily had been the first one to point out that this rocky part of their relationship was more obvious than JJ had originally thought. “Here?”

“There’s a 24-hour coffee place a block away.”

She was going to have to face this sooner or later, that much she knew well. That didn’t mean she took comfort in the fact that they were going to talk about it now. In the long run, she was sure it would be better, but her stomach churned uncomfortably. Still, she followed him back to the table.

“You heading out?” Penelope asked, eyeing JJ’s face critically.

“Yeah,” JJ answered, trying for a smile. “Where’s Em?”

The blond waved a hand at her phone. “Text message. Apparently she and Boss Man called it for the night.”

“Already?”

Derek chuckled. “There was that incident at the bar…”

JJ smiled knowingly. Many a conversation between the girlfriends had centered around how possessive Hotch could be and how much Emily enjoyed those nights. “Don’t stay out too late kids,” JJ joked, trying to hide her apprehension.

“What kind of trouble can we get into? Seriously?” Penelope asked, her hands resting on her burgeoning stomach.

They said their goodnights and headed towards the door of the bar. JJ’s heart was beating rapidly in her chest and it had nothing to do with excitement. Apprehension warred with fear in her brain. How was she supposed to talk about what was happening? How was she supposed to explain to him why she’d thrown herself into Pen’s pregnancy, why she’d been basically avoiding him when she wasn’t fully sure herself?

They didn’t hold hands as they walked down the street. Spencer had shoved his into the pockets of his pants. JJ had hers folded across her chest. The only contact they made through the walk was when they reached the coffee shop and Spencer’s hand brushed her lower back to nudge her towards the door. Tables weren’t scarce and JJ tucked her hands between her thighs when they sat.

Spencer gave her a few minutes before prodding. “Jenn, what’s going on?”

JJ sighed. It was moments like these that she hated. These were moments where she’d just been out socializing, playing and goofing around, where he’d been awkward in the atmosphere and then they’d changed venues, gone to a semi-private place and he wasn’t the socially awkward genius anymore. “I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

“I don’t, okay?” she huffed.

Spencer had to take a deep breath. He was always worried when it came to Jennifer Jareau. He knew that for the most part, they weren’t compatible. Heck, they were almost exact opposites. She, the gorgeous butterfly, flitting around, enjoying nights out with the girls and nights out in general. He preferred not to be subjected to the public. He’d been the gangly nerd his entire life and often felt more than inferior to JJ’s friendly openness. “Then what happened?”

“People grow apart.”

“JJ.”

It had been a long time since Spencer had used ‘JJ’. A very long time. She looked away.

“This has been a long time coming, hasn’t it?”

“Don’t profile me,” JJ snapped.

“How else am I supposed to figure out what’s going on?” Spencer replied defensively. “Look, JJ, you’ve been pulling away for a while now and I don’t know why. I know it can’t be pressure from the team because we’re all in the same boat. I know it can’t be family because you never told them about us.”

Actually, he had a good idea of what had set her off. He wasn’t deaf, though he often pretended to be and he wasn’t blind to the looks that were shot at both of them if they happened to be walking down the hall side-by-side. He’d just never thought JJ would give into the pressure of her co-workers. Heck, they weren’t even her co-workers, but people who happened to work in the same building.

“It’s not working, is it?” Spencer said softly, his eyes fixed on her.

JJ looked up, tears poking at the corners of her eyes. She’d hoped she’d have time to fix things, to come to terms with what was happening. Then again, she had been pulling away for six months and Emily had been right, it wasn’t fair to him. “No,” she whispered. “It’s not.”

Spencer nodded slowly. He’d always known JJ was too good for him and subconsciously had been waiting for this to happen. They were too different and though he’d known that from the beginning, he’d taken a chance. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to find out that she’d finally realized how different they were. “So that’s it.”

“Spence, I-“

But he was already shaking his head, a sad smile on his face. “I knew this was coming,” he told her. “I knew you’d eventually figure out that we’re too different.”

“It’s not like that,” JJ protested.

“It is,” he said with another sad, but reassuring smile. He sighed, looking around. “I’m going to go. I’ll see you at work, JJ.”

JJ knew she should stop him, should try and talk to him, to work this through. While the logical, rational – scared – part of her was relieved, her heart was clenching in her chest and tears were at the corners of her eyes. She hadn’t expected this now. She’d fully assumed they’d be able to work things out between them. It hurt to see that he almost wasn’t willing to try.

Then again, he had been for months. He’d proposed they go out to dinner, called her to come over, and yet the only time she’d spent any alone time with him was when things were difficult for her. It was rare that she called him to come over when she’d had a good day. Those were days she generally spent with Penelope. JJ dropped her chin to her chest, willing the tears back. She’d been using him for almost six months and hadn’t even really realized it. Relationships were supposed to be mutual.

She left the coffee shop, one arm folded around herself as she hailed a cab. She needed to go home and curl up and cry. She managed to hold back the sobs in the cab, allowing her eyes to blur the passing scenery and held it together as she made it up to her apartment. Once there, however, the sobs took hold and she collapsed in her doorway. It took her a few minutes to calm herself down before she picked up her phone with shaking hands and dialed off of her speed dial. She wouldn’t usually do this, but she really needed a friend.

It rang and rang and rang. “Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up,” she choked out. She let out another sob when the voicemail picked up. This was much harder than she’d expected it to be. And it really, really hurt.

 

Aaron groaned as the ringing sounded again, less than fifteen seconds after it had stopped. He was perfectly comfortable in bed with Emily, his lips on her stomach. He’d managed to distract her from it the first time, but when it rang again, she looked down at him apologetically.

“Let me see who it is, okay? If it’s not important, I won’t answer.”

It wasn’t like he had much choice, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to admire her naked form as she dug through their clothing for her cell. Her brow furrowed as she checked the caller and he groaned again as she picked up.

“Jayje?”

Aaron’s eyebrow rose. What was JJ doing calling Emily so late for one. And why was she calling Emily and not him? He had to assume it wasn’t case related, so he watched his dark-haired beauty for any sign of what was going on. Emily had started pacing. Any other day he’d have drooled at the sight of the muscles in her legs tensing and relaxing as she walked, but her other arm was wrapped around her stomach as the phone stayed pressed to her ear.

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes. You hang on.” She hung up and looked at him, apology all over her face.

“What happened?” he asked as he moved to help her sort through which clothes were hers and which were his.

“JJ and Reid had a fight. She’s upset.”

“She needs a friend,” Aaron nodded. “How bad?”

“Well, from this missed call log it was her who made the first call. And she probably checked with Pen before she left so she knew exactly where I was and what I was doing. JJ wouldn’t interrupt if it wasn’t important.”

He believed her. More importantly, he knew how important her friends were to her. They had been celebrating, yes, but JJ’s pain was something he knew Emily would always respond to. It was that mother hen instinct in her that he adored so much. He slid on his boxers and hit the dresser for a pair of sweats. Her hand was soft on his back as she came up behind him, still naked. It was tempting.

“I’m sorry, Aaron.”

He smiled reassuringly, wrapping an arm around her to press a kiss to her temple. “JJ needs you.”

She sighed as she threaded her fingers through her hair quickly. “What did I do to deserve such an understanding man?”

He chuckled. “I don’t know, but if you don’t put some clothes on soon I’m going to lose the ‘understanding’ and take you back to bed.”

Emily laughed and shoved him away, moving to dig through the drawers that were hers. Her mind was reeling. What on earth had happened to make JJ call her in tears? Well, she knew the answer to that question, but it was still a surprise. She dressed quickly, throwing her hair up into a ponytail to hide how messy it was. She made her way downstairs, finding him on the couch. “Don’t stay up, okay? I have no idea how long this’ll last.”

He kissed her quickly before she headed out the door. Emily sighed as she locked it behind her, heading for the car she’d left in his driveway earlier that night. This was the last thing she had expected to be doing tonight. But JJ needed her. What else were friends for?


	70. Chapter 70

Penelope held her breath as she woke the next morning, keeping her eyes closed as she allowed her brain to wake. She took stock of what she could feel and smell. She could smell Derek, but she’d been able to smell him the morning after That Night too and he hadn’t been there. However, there was something different. She could feel weight across her side and a warm hand on her stomach over her pyjama top. Slowly, hoping that she wasn’t still dreaming, she let her eyes flutter open into the morning sunshine. Then she looked down at her stomach and the breath she’d been holding whooshed out of her lungs. There was definitely a dark-skinned hand resting across her body.

He’d stayed.

Penelope’s heart started beating faster in her chest at the notion. He’d spent the entire night waiting on her every whim and barely looked twice at the other woman floating around the bar. Even when the team was there with them, he always had a hand on her, his shoulder always brushing hers, his hand running through her blond curls at every opportunity. Penelope had felt special, the same way he’d made her feel three days before on their date.

In the large book of possible dates, there was nothing special about what they’d done, nor was there anything unique. In fact, it was so boring, it had been quite fun. It had been a long time since Penelope had been treated to dinner and a movie a la high school, but with Derek, it just seemed not only to come easy, but to work. What had surprised her the most was the way he _didn’t_ try to sweep her off her feet. He’d kept it very simple and without any sort of pressure on her and it was probably what had made the date such a rousing success.

She’d been more than nervous when he’d arrived at her door with flowers. But they weren’t roses, like she’d expected from Ladies Man Derek Morgan. Instead, he’d obviously gone to the florist to pick out the pansy and Queen Anne’s Lace bouquet. She’d blushed as she nervously invited him in, setting about putting the flowers in water. She let him make small talk about their day about how boring the office got when they didn’t have a case before they left.

Dinner had been first. Penelope, if she was honest with herself, fully expected him to pull out all the stops, so she’d mentally prepped herself for a nice dinner at a business-casual restaurant, low lighting… the usual Derek MO. But that wasn’t what had happened. On the contrary, the restaurant had been simple and while softly-lit, elegant in it’s own right. It was the perfect place for her, somewhere that was date-worthy, while not being overly pricey. It didn’t put any pressure on her either. She was often self-conscious of her pregnancy, probably more out of habit than anything else. It was odd for her, someone so used to keeping it quiet, to actually be able to sit across the table from Peanut’s father in a low-key restaurant and feel like she didn’t have a care in the world.

And Derek had been beyond sweet. She’d been almost overwhelmed with how easy it was to talk to him. In fact, there had been a few times on the date she’d actually outright forgotten they were on one. Conversation flowed easily and he’d opened up to her in ways he never had before. He’d actually talked about his childhood, mentioned his father and talked about his sisters with affection. He’d made her laugh until tears sprung to her eyes and he’d made her feel like the only important woman in the room. It had been a daunting experience.

She couldn’t remember the movie, and it wasn’t because she was making out with Derek in the back of the theatre. On the contrary, he was a complete gentleman about the whole experience. But between the feeling of him beside her, the odd dream-like feeling it was and her own exhaustion – brought on by the third trimester, Emily had said – Penelope had not paid attention, then fallen asleep on his shoulder. Instead of teasing her about it like she’d expected, Derek woke her up at the end of the movie and asked if she was feeling alright. And he hadn’t done anything other than kiss her at the front door.

Penelope sighed, snuggling further into the warmth the blankets and his body provided for her. She’d been really surprised with how closely he watched her now that he knew. He often brought her juice and water through the day and he hadn’t known about Peanut for more than a week. For now, it was sweet, but she was sure she was going to have to have a conversation with him about her ability to take care of herself. She felt his breathing change against her back, and rolled over carefully.

“’Morning Hot Stuff.” Good Lord we was gorgeous all sleep rumpled.

“Mmm, ‘morning yourself, Gorgeous.”

Penelope shivered as his hand stroked over her stomach, fingertips dancing over fabric. Her hand came up to cup his cheek, fingers fluttering over his skin. This couldn’t be real.

“It is,” he murmured. “It is real.”

“I hadn’t realized I said it out loud,” she said laughing slightly.

“Why wouldn’t this be real?” he asked quietly, as if anything louder would disturb the tranquility of the morning.

She chuckled, trying to make light of the serious topic. “Because you’re Derek Morgan.”

“And you’re Penelope Garcia,” he replied. The only evidence of his confusion in the slight wrinkle of his forehead.

“Mmhmm,” she said with a smile. “Exactly my point.”

“Beautiful, you haven’t made a point.”

She was still half asleep, warm and comfortable, cocooned between him and her blankets so her candidness was slightly involuntary. “Honey, you could have whoever you wanted.”

“I don’t want just anybody, Pen,” he told her, his hands stroking up her arms.

“Yeah, but you don’t want me.”

Her smile was sad and Derek was absolutely floored by the acceptance in her eyes. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you.”

“Mmm, wait until Peanut’s born. There’s a lot of responsibility involved in raising a baby.”

He leaned up on his elbow, his hand supporting his head. “You don’t think I can do it.”

“I think you will be a fantastic father, Derek,” Penelope argued. “But I think there will come a time you’ll realize that there’s more to life than us.”

Derek sighed, removing his hands from her body completely and pulling away from her. “I’ve tried to explain this to you, Penelope. I don’t want anyone other than you.”

“You say that now.”

“I’ve said that for years.”

Penelope froze, eyes wide. “What?”

Derek ran a hand over his head. He hadn’t actually meant to admit that. He’d meant to take his time with her, to show her slowly how much he adored her. But on the other hand he was sick of her pessimism. “Pen, did it ever occur to you I could have said no?”

“To what?” Penelope asked, confused.

“That night, after the Tucson case. I could have told you no, Pen. I could have said that it wasn’t appropriate, that I wasn’t going to take advantage of you, that I didn’t want you.”

“You were as vulnerable,” she argued, pushing herself until she was sitting up, resting against her headboard.

“I still had full control of my mind. Pen, if I was looking for someone to… well… it wouldn’t have been you.”

Penelope started. “What?”

“If I was looking for sex that night, I wouldn’t have turned to you. You mean too much to me to use you like that.”

She blinked. It hadn’t even crossed her mind to think of things like that. He’d always done anything for her. He’d left dates for her when she was having a tough time. He’d always felt pain when she was having a difficult time dealing with cases. But it was still surreal for her to think that she was special to him.

“I don’t know why you can’t see how fantastic you are, Pen. How compassionate, how loving, how cheerful… This child, Pen… This kid is the luckiest kid on earth because _you_ are it’s mother.”

Penelope blushed. “Derek, you don’t have to say that. You don’t have to sweet talk me.”

He sighed, pushing himself out of bed. He grabbed his jeans from the floor, having slept in his t-shirt and boxers, and pulled them on. “Pen, look, I want to be with you. I don’t want to leave you behind, I don’t want to break your heart and I don’t want you to doubt me. Let me know when that time comes.”

Penelope was so stunned, she let Derek walk out of her apartment without stopping him.

 

Emily let herself back into Aaron’s house with a heavy sigh. She’d spent the large majority of her night with JJ and up with JJ, listening to her friend. She dropped onto the couch, her hand reaching for her head, rubbing at her temples. She loved JJ and she was upset that she and Reid had ended their relationship, but she was frustrated at the same time. And she hated it when her nights with Aaron were interrupted.

She groaned in bliss as the smell of coffee assaulted her nostrils. She opened her eyes, looking up at Aaron with a thankful smile. He sat beside her with his own coffee cup.

“Everything okay?”

Emily leaned her head back against the couch. “JJ and Reid broke up.”

“They were heading towards it,” he replied, trying for rationality. He leaned back against the cushions, making sure his shoulder brushed hers.

“Yeah.”

“How late were you up?” he asked, trailing his fingers up and down the inside of her arm.

Emily relaxed, turning her palm up to encourage the touch. “Late,” she said with a sigh. “I’m tired.”

Aaron chuckled. “You’re a good friend.”

“I don’t feel like one,” Emily admitted with a sigh. “There was nothing I could do to make her feel better or worse.”

“Honey, don’t take it hard.” He kissed her temple.

“I just don’t like it,” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I really don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to like it,” he pointed out. Her entire body was relaxing against him, leaning on his side. A few more minutes and she’d probably be in the perfect mood to watch Saturday Morning Cartoons.

“I think they made a mistake.”

“Then let them handle it. This isn’t your problem.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” she murmured, tilting her head for a kiss. “I really hate it when you’re right.”


	71. Chapter 71

Spencer sighed as he stepped off of his plane in Las Vegas. He’d popped into Hotch’s office that morning to ask for time off and Hotch had assured him it would be filed that day. He knew he was running. He wasn’t sure he could fault himself though. He should have known a relationship with JJ was a dream. He found himself surprisingly subdued as he waited for his luggage and hailed a cab. He was upset, yes, but not stupid enough to be blindsided by it.

“Where to?”

“Uh.. Bennington Sanitarium please.”

The cabbie raised an eyebrow. “You checking in?”

Spencer had no idea why he found that funny, but the corners of his mouth tipped up. “Visiting.”

“Not many people visit a sanitarium,” the cabbie said.

“I’m not most people.” It was clichéd, but true. He was a twenty-seven-year-old genius with an IQ of 187. His only friends were his colleagues, romantic entanglements, well, just weren’t his thing apparently. He sighed, pulling out his cell phone. Hotch would inevitably tell Emily where he was not just because they were in a relationship but because Emily worried about him like that.

Phone in hand, open and prepped to dial, Spencer leaned his head back against the seat, reflecting. He and Emily hadn’t gotten along when she’d first transferred. They’d butted heads over pretty much anything and everything. He’d never seen her struggle and she’d come into the team when the world seemed to be completely against him. In the long run though, Spencer had to admit, Emily’s transfer had turned out for the better. Emily stood by him. It had been Emily who had told him to look at Gideon’s letter differently. He trusted her with everything and unlike Penelope, Emily had an uncanny way of knowing when to ask questions and when to leave him be.

Still, he’d be a bad friend not to call her and reassure her he had arrived alright.

“Prentiss.”

“Hey Emily.”

“Hey,” Emily responded.

Spencer wasn’t surprised that there was only curiosity in her voice. “I’m in Vegas.”

“So I hear. Everything okay?”

He knew that if he asked, there would be no other questions. “I’m visiting my mother.”

“Good for you,” she said sincerely. “Thanks for calling. Let me know when you’re on your way home, okay?”

He sighed. “Yeah. Um… Thanks Emily.”

“Sure thing. Say ‘hi’ for us.”

He hung up. Emily worried way too much for a woman that worked the job they did. Maybe it was because she needed someone to fuss over, something he’d seen once she realized the team didn’t hate her in the slightest. Still, to him, she was the mother he’d been unfortunate enough not to have, not that he blamed his mother. He knew he could trust Emily with his whereabouts. He knew she probably had a pretty good idea as to why he was in Vegas to begin with and yet, she hadn’t asked him anything beyond whether or not he was okay.

“You look like someone just ran over your cat.”

“I don’t have a cat,” Spencer answered on reflex.

“Figure of speech, kid,” the cabbie responded with a chuckle. ”It’s about a girl, isn’t it?”

He’d forgotten that cabbies were often considered untrained psychologists. That didn’t stop the surprise from registering on his face.

“It’s always about a girl. Running or coming home?”

Spencer opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“Ah, running,” the man surmised. “Running scared or running hurt?”

“Hurt,” Spencer answered quietly.

“You look like a nice enough kid. What happened?”

“I ended it.”

“Brave.”

“Brave?” Spencer couldn’t remember if he’d ever been called brave in his life.

“Brave of you to end a relationship when you’re still in love with her.”

Spencer almost physically started.

“Her heart wasn’t in it huh? Too bad.”

He had no idea why he was talking to a Las Vegas cabbie about breaking up with JJ, nor did he have any idea of how the cabbie had managed to figure out what had happened. Spencer looked out at the passing scenery as they continued on. The cab fell silent, neither of them saying a word as Spencer let his mind wander, trying to get it off of JJ and the relationship he’d known had been doomed from the start. He’d taken a chance and he had no idea whether he regretted pursuing her or not. He had no idea what he thought about it. What he did know was that breaking up was the best choice after six months of uncertainty.

“Here we are.”

Spencer looked up at the sanitarium with a deep breath. It had been a long time since he’d visited his mother. He paid and thanked the cabbie and headed up to the doors, hoping a few days in Vegas would be exactly what he needed to clear his mind.

 

Penelope was still in a daze as she stepped into her bunker Monday morning. She’d spent the rest of her Sunday only half paying attention to a long list of movies. The other half of her attention had been focused on what Derek had said. Doubt was normal in her life, the story of her life, and it was very difficult to pull herself out of that funk, especially for Derek. They’d been friends so long and the change in his behavior and emotions towards her had come so close on the heels of her pregnancy news that Penelope had a very difficult time seeing the way he’s pursued his changing relationship with her as anything but obligation.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that it took the delicate clearing of a throat for Pen to realize there was someone else in the room. “Gosh, Jayje, you scared me!”

“Sorry,” JJ said, looking back to her laptop. “Do you mind if I work in here today?”

“If you tell me why,” Penelope bargained, setting her purse down. She’d noticed the tear streaks and red eyes JJ had been sporting when the younger blond had looked her way.

“I want to hide for the day,” JJ answered vaguely.

“Nuh uh, honey,” Penelope argued. “You’re going to have to give me more than that. Why are you avoiding the bullpen?”

“Same reason you are,” JJ guessed.

“You’re fishing,” Penelope accused, settling in her chair. “Come on, Jayje, talk to me.”

JJ’s breath was shaky when she inhaled. “We broke up.”

“You and Reid?”

“Yeah,” JJ sighed, watching Penelope log into the FBI system.

“I didn’t know you guys were having problems.”

“Pen, I don’t want to talk about it. Why can’t we all just be happy at the same time?”

“Karma,” Penelope responded almost immediately.

“What about you? You and Derek seemed perfectly happy Saturday night.”

“We all seemed happy Saturday night.”

“So you’re not going to tell me?”

Penelope sighed. “He stayed over.”

“That’s a good thing.”

“It was until the morning.”

JJ groaned. “Don’t tell me. You told him you were waiting for him to realize he could do better.”

Silence.

“Pen?”

“Mmhmm?”

“Well?”

“You told me not to tell you.”

“Penelope!” It was exasperating sometimes, dealing with her friend.

“What?”

“I thought we talked about this.”

“We did! But it’s easier said than done.”

“Not when it comes to Derek.”

“Especially when it comes to Derek. JJ don’t you get it? He’s probably the only person that could outright break my heart. I’m just preparing myself.”

“You’re being overly pessimistic,” JJ argued heatedly.

Penelope arched an eyebrow. “Is this a takes one to know one moment?”

The wind blew out of JJ’s sails and quickly. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“You’re looking out for your friends.”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

JJ sighed. “I think I was stupid.”

“You think?”

JJ slapped at her friend. “I just…”

“You listened to gossip.”

“How did you know?”

“I listen too,” Penelope replied, her tone obvious. “I have to.”

JJ shook her head. “I don’t understand how people can’t. I mean, with some of the things that have gone around about Emily and Hotch, especially after Christmas time…”

“Emily doesn’t listen to gossip. But she’s got training.”

JJ chuckled at that. “Politics has taught her a lot. What about Hotch.”

Penelope snorted. “The only person who knows anything about that man is Emily. And she can be pretty tight lipped when she wants to be.”

“I just need a break,” JJ said, bringing them back to the original topic of conversation. “I just need a break.”

“Honey, take all the time you need.”

The younger blond smiled affectionately at one of her best friends. “Thanks Pen.”

“Anytime Jayje.”


	72. Chapter 72

Spencer had never been a fan of coincidences. First and foremost, from an intellectual perspective, well, coincidences just didn’t happen. But curse his luck that the next case taken by the BAU was in Las Vegas, Nevada. Apparently, nowhere was sacred anymore. Of course, that didn’t mean that the team had to visit his mother, not that most of them hadn’t met the woman already. And, at the very least, it had been a couple of days.

Still, he was antsy as he waited on the government airstrip for the BAU plane to land. The local detectives were there too so he’d been able to get a paper copy of the file to look over while he waited for his team to land.

“You read fast.”

Spencer looked up at the petite woman in front of him. Becky Chard was the lead detective on the case. She was diminutive, but he had practice with woman who looked small but carried a big stick. He had a feeling she was anything but small when she was on the trail of a suspect. “20 000 words per minute,” he answered.

She dropped into one of the cushioned chairs beside him. “Wow. Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Spencer answered with a shy smile. “And an eidetic memory.” He didn’t usually show off, but she wasn’t treating him like some strange experiment. She seemed genuinely surprised, but not skeptical or disbelieving.

“A what?”

“Photographic memory,” Spencer explained.

“That must come in handy on cases.”

He actually found himself chuckling slightly. He’d never been in a situation where a person had put him at ease almost immediately. Even Lila Archer hadn’t put him at ease. In fact, he’d been pretty skittish around her. “Something like that.”

“What can you tell us about this guy?” Becky asked, leaning against the back of the seat, hands resting across her stomach. She wore comfortable black pants, like Emily often wore on active cases, and a v-neck t-shirt in a royal blue that complimented the blue of her eyes. Not that Spencer noticed that type of thing. She’s pulled her long dark-brown-almost-black hair back into a ponytail. Functional and pretty.

“Anything I say may be useless in a few hours,” he warned her.

Becky shrugged. “I want to hear it anyway. I heard about what your team did the last time you were here.”

Spencer didn’t like thinking about Frank. Thinking about Frank led to thinking about Gideon and, well, that never ended well. “It looks random,” he told her.

“And that means?”

“Well, it’s not good. It doesn’t look like the unsub differentiates between males and females, he doesn’t really have a type.”

“He?”

“Force of habit. Most serial killers are men.”

Becky chuckled. “Well there goes all of my faith in the male gender. Unsub?”

“Unknown Subject,” Spencer answered.

“Our guy.”

“Exactly.”

“So let’s go back to this random thing. Why is that bad?”

“It’s more difficult to develop a profile when the unsub is random in choosing his victims,” Spencer replied, his voice trailing off as he looked at the information in front of him again. He had the thing memorized, but sometimes it was just easier to have a tangible copy of the case in front of him.

“Detective Chard? The plane’s landed.”

Becky smiled her thanks at the employee that had passed the message on and stood just as Spencer did. They made their way out into the Las Vegas heat, watching as the door opened and the team made their way down the stairs. Spencer felt his breath catch in his throat as JJ deplaned, looking as beautifully professional as ever. He shook himself. She’d made her decision and he’d made his accordingly. They’d both have to live with that.

“Agent Jennifer Jareau,” she introduced herself, holding her hand out to Becky.

“Becky Chard. Glad you all could make it.”

“We are too,” Hotch answered, shaking the hand the small women held out to him. “Reid.”

“Hotch,” Spencer answered, tapping his fingers against the underside of Becky’s file.

“The SUVs over there are yours, dropped off all pretty and shiny,” Becky said, waving to the standard-issue vehicles.

Spencer felt his lips quirk up. She had wit, this detective. He felt his cheeks head when Emily quirked an eyebrow in his direction. What the hell was up with him?

 

Emily was glad she and Reid had been paired off together with Morgan for their first task. The park that was their only crime scene was one Reid knew and so Hotch had decided to send them off to see what they could gather from the place. “So Reid,” she began, following his direction to turn right onto a small residential street. “What’s Detective Chard like?”

Reid blinked in that clueless way he had, though gave himself away when the pink returned to the edges of his ears. “Nice, I guess?”

“You guess? It certainly looked more like guess work when we saw you earlier. Quick rebound, man,” Derek quipped from the back seat.

“We talked about the case,” Reid defended.

Emily arched an eyebrow. “Just talked about the case? You know-“

“Yeah, and I told her that it could change really quickly,” Reid answered.

Emily blinked. She wasn’t used to Reid interrupting her. “Nice is all you can give us?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“That that t-shirt of hers...” Derek hummed appreciatively. “If we weren’t working a case with her I’d definitely be stretching my muscles.”

“And if it wasn’t for Pen,” Emily reminded him warningly. She knew she didn’t have to, knew he was absolutely ensnared by her blond friend, but it amused her to remind him nonetheless.

“We’re not talking about me and Pen,” he responded. “We’re talking about Genius Boy and Miss Becky.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Reid insisted. “We were waiting for you to land.”

Emily glanced over at the young man riding shotgun. “That’s never stopped Derek from flirting before.”

“Hey!”

“I’m not Morgan,” Reid pointed out.

He sounded so dejected that Emily glanced at him again. At least he hasn’t gotten defensive. “No, you’re not,” she agreed. “You sure everything’s okay?”

“We have a case to solve, an unsub to catch. That’s what matters. Right up there.”

Emily pulled up to the curb, unsurprised that Derek jumped out almost immediately. She, on the other hand, reached out for Reid. “Case or no case, you matter, okay? Just because JJ’s my friend doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you.”

“I know,” Reid admitted, looking down at his hands. She’d proven it time and time again while he was battling his drug addiction and when Gideon had left. “Thanks, Emily.”

“Sure thing.” Then she was back to Agent Prentiss, hard mask in place. “Let’s go catch this guy.”


	73. Chapter 73

JJ couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t been able to sleep for a while, since she’d started fretting and fussing about things with Spence. More often than not, she dozed and so, when Emily started moaning and mumbling in her sleep the fourth night of their case, JJ heard it. And JJ worried. Those were the sounds JJ could remember Emily making when the nightmares still haunted her brunette colleague and JJ almost cursed herself and the rest of the team for not seeing it.

JJ perched on the end of Emily’s bed and shook her friend. “Em, Em, wake up. It’s a nightmare.” She almost jumped back when Emily’s eyes suddenly opened, the woman’s entire body tense. She sat up almost immediately.

“Did I wake you?”

“No,” JJ reassured. “I was already awake.”

Emily sighed, clenching her hands in the blankets at her waist.

“Want to talk about it?” JJ asked, probing gently. Of all of them, Emily was the most closed off and the least likely to share fears or weakness. She joined her friend at the headboard, both women leaning back against it.

“You can’t tell Hotch,” Emily said, voice almost completely void of expression.

JJ was surprised by that request. Hotch had been the one to help Emily through her last bout of nightmares. In fact, now that JJ thought about it, Emily had to be experiencing at least murky nightmares like this since the beginning of the case. Random stabbings were bound to bring Emily’s terrors back to the forefront and no one was more vulnerable than when they were asleep.

“Okay,” she promised anyway.

“At all, JJ. Nothing. Please.”

“I won’t,” JJ swore. “They’re that bad?”

Emily gave a mirthless chuckle. “More like they’re back.”

“They’re the same ones?”

“Variation on a theme is probably a better description.”

JJ didn’t know what to do to help, especially since Emily had made her promise not to go to Hotch. He was the only person he could think of that would be able to help Emily through it, the same way he’d helped her through it last time.

“You want to talk about it?”

Emily sighed. “Not really.”

Silence fell for a moment. “Want to go get chocolate?”

Emily smiled. “Now there’s a good idea.”

They made their way down to the front lobby, wallets in hand, intent on the vending machines they’d seen when they came in. Emily went for M&Ms, JJ a Mars bar, and both women went straight back up to the room they were sharing. They knew better than to stay in a hotel lobby late at night while they were travelling.

Once they were settled back upstairs, eating their chocolate while leaning against Emily’s headboard again, JJ spoke. “The detective seems nice.”

Emily arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Mmhmm.”

“She reminds me of you.”

JJ’s head snapped to her friend’s. “What?”

“Well, with the obvious exception of the hair colour, everything else about the two of you is almost the same.”

The blond picked at her wrapper, now not so sure she wanted to eat the chocolate. “Em-“

“You screwed up,” Emily said bluntly.

JJ knew her friend was tired and punchy and knew that it meant there would be no censoring of her opinion like there had been the night she’d raced to JJ’s apartment. “I know.”

“Then fix it. Obviously he’s still hung up on you.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“You’re right, it’s not. Because you screwed up big time. But that doesn’t make it impossible.”

“You’re optimistic.”

“Because you’re pessimistic. Look, Jayje, all hiding aside, I get that you’re afraid of getting hurt. I get that it’s hard to admit you may actually be falling in love with a guy and what you may have is serious enough for you to give your heart to, but it’s the most rewarding experience. You let your insecurities take hold and, well, you know what happens.”

“Yeah,” JJ agreed.

“Not only that, but this is Spencer Reid we’re talking about. You used to go to that man for everything, so we all knew it was simply a matter of time before you both dug your heads out of your butts and started a relationship. It took me by surprise when your life started revolving around Pen.”

JJ blew out a breath. “I was scared?”

“It’s not a question, it’s a statement. But you can spend the rest of your life terrified of a good thing and let it pass you by.”

“You’re just full of philosophical comments tonight.”

Emily shrugged. “The nightmares are reminding me how lucky I am, I guess. I could have seriously died that night and I would have missed out on loving Aaron. How sucky would that have been?”

That got a little chuckle out of JJ. “So it’s that easy?”

“Of course not,” Emily replied. “If it was that easy insecurities wouldn’t exist. I’m just telling you they’re normal.”

“He probably hates me.” JJ knew her friend was rolling her eyes.

“He doesn’t hate you. He’s still head over heels for you.”

“But...”

“That doesn’t mean you can spill your heart out to him and expect everything to go back to the way it was. He was hurt, JJ, probably more than you were. He didn’t want to break off the relationship and you know that as well as I do. He did for you because you seemed to need your space.”

“If you love something let it go, if it comes back, it’s meant to be.”

“Exactly. You’re going to have to give him time to trust you again.”

JJ nodded. Build trust. She had an idea of how to do that and it involved metaphorically starting from scratch. “Okay.”

Emily smiled. “Think you can sleep now?”

JJ let out a huge yawn in response. Apparently she was actually exhausted. “Apparently.”

“Good,” Emily said, nudging her back towards her own bed. “Sleep. You’ll need it.”

“So will you.”

“I’m fine on little sleep,” Emily responded with a tight smile.

JJ curled herself under the covers in the other bed, eyelids drooping. “You know, you should take your own advice.”

“Oh?”

“Mmhmm,” JJ mumbled. “Being weak is okay. It means your human.” She heard Emily’s chuckle.

“Go to sleep JJ. Tomorrow we have to catch a bad guy.”

JJ felt her eyes falling closed. Her last thought was for her friend and the knowledge that Emily probably wasn’t going to be sleeping much that night.

 

Penelope, much like JJ, couldn’t sleep. Which was unfortunate. Peanut needed her to sleep. She needed to sleep. She’d even gone home instead of trying to work through the insomnia. But that had been a double-edged sword. Penelope knew why she couldn’t sleep. Derek’s words were floating around in her head from the last time they’d both been cuddled under her blankets.

_I want to be with you._

_I don’t want to break your heart._

_I don’t want you to doubt me._

_Let me know when that time comes._

She couldn’t get the words to stop replaying in her head. It had given her plenty to think about over the last couple of days since they’d been away. And think she most certainly had. She knew why she didn’t believe him. She wasn’t really the type to have men as gorgeous as Derek Morgan fall for her. She had no idea if what they were doing was real, or if he was doing it for the baby.

On the other hand, it was Derek Morgan, the man she knew inside and out. She’d already met his mother and had a pretty good understanding of where Derek’s good heart came from. So why on earth was she doubting his intentions? There was absolutely no reason for her to do that, not if he really was the type of guy she knew him to be.

She sat up in bed, grabbing for her cell phone, making a mental note to let Emily and JJ know she’d finally figured out what they’d both been trying to tell her for ages. But first, there was another call she had to make.

“Hello?”

“Sorry to wake you.”

“Pen?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Why are you calling so late? You should be sleeping.”

Penelope smiled at the overprotective tone in his voice. Even upset with her he looked out for her. “I know, and I will, I just... I figured something out just now and I need to tell you.”

She heard the rustling of blankets and sheets, then a door open and close. “Okay, Baby Girl, go for it.”

“I’m sorry,” she began. “I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for you to realize that I’m not actually what you want. And I know I’ve been stupid about it. Emily and JJ have been trying to tell me, _you’ve_ been trying to tell me, but I guess I just had to come to the conclusion on my own.”

She heard his breath catch on the other end of the phone. “Penelope?”

“I love you, Derek. I do and I want to have this baby with you. I want to fight over Peanut’s name, over the colour to paint a nursery, over which last name we’re going to give Peanut. I want to talk about what we’re going to do about living arrangements-“

“Move in with me.”

“What?” That was most definitely the last thing she’d expected. “Derek, are you-“

“I’m serious. Look, you love me, right?”

“Yeah...”

“And I love you. And I know the last thing we both want to do is shuttle Peanut back and forth between two apartments, not to mention the stress and cost of buying almost two of everything.”

She had to admit, that sounded pretty logical.

“I’ve got a few properties. We can fix one of them up into a little house, Pen. You, me and Peanut because neither of our apartments is fit for two people, let alone two of us and a baby.”

That sounded more than logical. It sounded logical, rational and fantastic. “Yes.”

“I’ll even let you design the nursery all by yourself and- What?”

“Yes,” she repeated, feeling tears come to her eyes and cursing her hormones. “Yes, let’s build a house together.”

“You won’t be doing any building,” he warned her.

Penelope laughed. “I don’t care. Yes.”

Silence fell as she sniffled.

“Now what?”

“Now I wish I wasn’t across the country and we could do something to celebrate,” he told her frankly.

Penelope groaned. “You’re going to start something you can’t finish.” The words came out before she’d thought about it. When she realized what she’d said, her entire body stiffened.

Though they’d started some sort of quasi-relationship, they had yet to make it past the innocent kissing stage. She knew that theoretically it was a pointless thing, taking their relationship slow, but she’d been so insecure that she hadn’t wanted to give up everything to him – again – only to have him turn around and leave her – again. She’d even cut back on the innuendoes, not that it was difficult. When he was the one calling her he was often more concerned with her overall well-being than their usual banter.

“I’d rather finish it in person,” he said, voice a low growl.

It made Penelope shiver. “Then I suggest you hurry up and finish up the case so you can come home.”

“You better believe it Princess. I’ll be home soon and we _will_ celebrate.”

There was no way she was going to complain about that.


	74. Chapter 74

“Dr Reid? Dr Reid. Spencer.”

Spencer’s head lifted slowly, his mind still groggy. Usually, he woke quickly and with full awareness, but it seemed like his mind was moving sluggishly. So it took him a few minutes to register the blue-eyed dark-haired woman at his elbow.

“Did you fall asleep here?” Becky asked.

Spencer looked around at the conference room that had become the BAU’s home base in Vegas and sighed. “I guess so.”

“You didn’t go home with your team?”

“Something isn’t right about these cases. The motive is in there somewhere.”

Becky arched an eyebrow. “So you decided to lose sleep over trying to find it?”

“We’ve been looking for it for days,” Spencer lamented, standing and heading to the boards again. He smiled at the petite woman as she handed him a mug of coffee.

She smiled back shyly, moving to stand so her small shoulder brushed his arm. “Find anything useful?”

“No,” he replied on a sigh. “There’s nothing here to give us the ‘why’.”

“Maybe there is no why.”

“There’s always a why,” Spencer replied absently. “Offenders do things for a reason, even if the reason is subconscious.” He sighed, checking his watch. “I have to go meet the team.”

“I’ll drive you,” she offered. “CSU sent a few things up to my desk last night.”

Spencer smiled at the other woman. “That would be great.”

He missed her blush.

 

JJ and Emily were the last ones to breakfast that morning and it was all the fault of the dark bags that had shown up under their eyes. It had taken both women just a little bit more effort to hide the obvious signs of a lack of sleep and JJ knew the last thing Emily wanted was for people to ask questions.

“Good morning,” she said, trying to be cheerful. She and Emily took the last remaining seats, Emily’s beside Hotch – as it inevitably was – and JJ’s between her brunette colleague and Derek.

“Morning JJ,” Derek replied, his voice cheerful and she arched an eyebrow at him. He shrugged before pouring her a cup of coffee. “We took the liberty of ordering.”

“Oh, thank you. I’m starving,” Emily said

“You’re always starving,” Derek teased.

Emily pulled an indignant face. JJ was impressed at how well she acted the part. “Not true. I’m always starving first thing in the morning.” She smiled her thanks at Hotch who had fixed her coffee for her.

Becky cleared her throat, a little put off by how casual they all were. “I have results for you guys, from CSU.”

“Better make it quick,” Emily said. “We have a no-case rule over food.”

“Dinner excepted,” JJ added. Emily’s words had made her look at the woman in a new light and she could see where Emily’s comment had come from. She’d noticed the woman sitting beside Spence the moment she’d stepped into the restaurant and she’d felt her stomach clench. So that was what jealousy felt like.

“Victim number three had a bit left in her,” Becky said, not wasting any time. “CSU took the knife tip and determined it was a four-inch knife.”

“He’s not playing games,” Derek said, folding his fingers and watching the detective intensely.

“I took the liberty of trying to find places that would sell a knife that long.”

“Let me guess,” JJ said wryly. “The list was a mile long?”

Becky smiled slightly. “You betcha. I got the phone book.”

“We’ll send the names to our tech,” Spencer said snatching the page from her fingers.

She stuck out her tongue at him slightly. “I don’t know-“

“You don’t want to,” Spencer cut her off. “What Garcia does is better left secret.”

Becky blinked. “Wow. When they called you guys All-Stars, they certainly mean it.”

The food came then and JJ let out a thankful groan. “You are my hero,” she said, squeezing Derek’s forearm.

“How did you know?” Becky asked, fishing a ten out of her purse. She’d bet that Derek’s decision would be wrong.

“JJ loves hollandaise sauce,” Spencer said absently, his eyes racing over the page as he held a piece of whole-wheat toast in the other hand.

JJ reached out and snagged it without thinking twice, dipping it in the yellow sauce. “But only if-“

“There’s enough lemon,” Spencer finished with her.

They both froze then, realizing exactly what had happened. JJ looked away, focusing her eyes on her breakfast, shifting to allow Derek access to her potatoes. They’d reverted back to the way things had been and however nice it had felt, JJ was acutely aware of how much she did have to fix. It was easy, when they were surrounded by the team, to forget that there was anything off about their relationship, that they’d even had and ended a romantic relationship. But they had, and JJ knew the only person she had to blame was herself.

Same went for the jealousy she’d felt earlier.

\--

Emily watched the interaction as she picked through her fruit salad and Aaron’s. She’d virtually watched JJ’s eyes go green when she’d noticed the other woman present, but Emily couldn’t fault Reid in the slightest. The boy deserved some serious love and for the first time, Emily could see that the young woman put him at ease almost as well as the team did. Becky still sat outside the team dynamic, but Reid wasn’t stuttering with her. They seemed to have built a comfortable camaraderie and quickly. Emily was glad for that.

And maybe it was exactly the kick in the pants JJ needed. Emily had hoped she and Reid would have worked things out before they got to the break up stage, but apparently JJ had been a little more stubborn than Emily had originally anticipated.

She glanced up as she felt Aaron’s hand on her thigh. “What?”

“You okay?”

She swallowed and hoped it wasn’t obvious. She should have known he would be watching her, cataloguing her every move, making sure she was okay. He looked at the crime scene photos too. He’d have seen the resemblance in general case facts. “Mmhmm. Thinking.”

“About?”

“Reid.”

He chuckled softly, one ear cocked to the conversation around them. True to form, case talk had dropped off as soon as the meals had arrived. “That is a rather interesting development.”

Emily snorted. “Want to lock them away and study them?”

“No,” he told her. “I would like to know what it was about her that put him at ease though.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Maybe how much she looks like Jayje?”

“I doubt it,” Aaron replied. “If anything, I’d think he’d avoid her type.”

“If you include the fact that she’s about as opposite on the hair-colour spectrum you’d be right. Otherwise... she’s the same woman.” She went back to the fruit salads.

“You don’t know that.”

Emily flicked his fingers where they still rested over her pants. “It’s not that I’m not happy for him, okay? I am. He needs something stable to remind him that not all women are going to let insecurities take over or that all women leave him. He’s got a bad enough track record with his mother, Lila and now JJ.”

When she met his eyes again, he was looking at her critically. “What?”

“You missed a spot.”

“Huh?”

His pointer finger came out to tap the corner of her eye. “You missed a spot. That’s why you were both late.”

Emily shrugged. “JJ couldn’t sleep. We got chocolate.”

“Are you sure it was JJ that couldn’t sleep?”

Emily sighed. She didn’t want to tell him. She wanted that to be in her past, for her attack to just go away and leave her alone for good. It was why she didn’t want to tell him about the nightmares. She didn’t want to revert back into the clingy woman she’d been when she’d had them. That wasn’t Emily Prentiss and she wasn’t about to show weakness when everyone else around her seemed to need her to be strong. Well, everyone except Aaron.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” she said. “Stop worrying, I’m fine.”

“It would be normal to react to the crime scenes, you know,” he said almost conversationally. “And I trust that you’ll come to me if you’re having problems.”

Emily squeezed her hand with a forced smile. “You know you’re always my first call.”

He let the subject drop and she let out a mental sigh of relief. Hurdle one gone. She knew the nightmares would probably get worse before they got better and as a result, she would probably get worse before she got better, but her body was pretty used to little sleep. For the time being, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

She just hoped she could continue to keep it hidden.


	75. Chapter 75

The killing hadn’t been completely random at all. In fact, though it took them another couple of days to narrow down the true point of the crimes, once they had, things snowballed from there. And Emily, for one, was glad.

Emily, JJ, Derek and Aaron boarded the plane to head home in at least slightly high spirits.

“Alright, JJ, wheels up.”

Emily looked at Aaron with the same confused expression JJ did. “Aaron, Reid isn’t here.”

“He’s going to finish up his leave days. We had to cut them short when we came to Vegas.”

Emily’s eyebrows rose as she darted a glance to JJ. “He’s staying here?”

“He is,” Aaron responded, opening his file in an attempt to start some work.

Emily knew that action. He wanted alone time. Which, normally, was fine with her, but with her nightmares over the past couple of days she wasn’t as open to the possibility. When the team was around it was easier to deflect his attention. When it was just the two of them, he was more likely to get her secrets out of her.

“Reid’s staying here, with Becky,” Derek said, a small grin starting to creep across his face.

“Well, I don’t know about whether or not he has plans with Detective Chard,” Aaron said honestly, “But he is staying behind.”

Derek chuckled. “Go Reid.”

Inwardly, Emily agreed. Reid needed some time with someone who didn’t put any pressure on him, who seemed to actually enjoy hi absolute geekiness. She also knew, however, that it bothered JJ. There was a part of her, the part that was friends with Reid, that wanted to let her suffer, let her stew, but Emily was JJ’s friend too and in all honesty, probably had more loyalty to the blond than the genius.

So she made her way to the back of the plane where JJ had moved. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

Emily sat patiently. JJ always gave in to silence.

“How am I supposed to fix things when I can’t even talk to him?”

“Honey, he deserves to finish his personal days,” Emily said carefully.

“I know. Logically I know he deserves a break I just... I screwed up,” she replied quietly, brokenly. “I want to fix it.”

“I know,” Emily promised. “Sometimes these things take time.”

JJ looked up at her, her eyes vulnerable. “Did I lose him?”

“I don’t know, Jayje,” Emily said honestly, the same thing she’d told the other woman the night her relationship had ended. “I really don’t know.”

 

Spencer sighed as he watched the jet take off. He’d taken a gamble, asking Hotch to make up the days he missed, but it had paid off. He turned when he felt a hand on his arm.

“You sure you don’t want to go back with them?” Becky asked in concern.

“Yeah,” Spencer replied. “It’s too late now anyway.”

She tilted her head to the side slightly, considering him. “Why are you staying?”

“My mother lives in Vegas.”

“No, Spencer, why are you _really_ staying?”

“I need a reason other than my mother?” He started back towards the exit, hearing Becky’s heels click against the floor behind him.

She grabbed his arm and pulled, using momentum to spin her to face him. “Look, usually I’m not one to pry into others private lives, okay? I just… You’re different.”

“I’m different?” He’d been told that his entire life, but never quite in that tone of voice.

“You’re a genius, yeah, but you’re sweet. You don’t look at me and see a female then a cop, you see a cop, then a woman.”

“Have you seen my team? Emily and JJ are fantastic agents.”

“You’re missing the point,” she said rolling her eyes. “You’re a great guy, with a great, almost superhero life, a group of people that absolutely adore you-“

“They see me as an annoyance!” Spencer squawked.

Becky raised an eyebrow. “What planet are you on? It’s obvious, at the very least, that Agent Morgan and Agent Prentiss look at you as a sibling.”

“Yeah, their annoying kid sibling that asks annoying and pointless questions about everything!”

Becky rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sound. “You’re being dense.”

“You’re being unreasonable.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You know what? Fine. I’ll leave you to your own stewing. I can see why things didn’t work out with Agent Jareau.”

By the time his brain caught up with what she’d said, Spencer had to run to catch her before she got in her car. “What about me and JJ?”

“Oh please, the tension between you was ridiculous. Either you want to screw each other or you used to and now you’re not.”

“Becky!” He wasn’t used to such blunt wording.

“Look, Spencer, I’d like to believe we’ve formed at the very least a friendship, right?”

They’d worked together almost all week and he’d probably told her more tidbits without realizing it than he’d told most of the team in ten times that period of time. “Yeah.”

“Then give me a break, okay? I watched you guys. All of you. I may not be one of your profilers, but I am a woman. We can tell those things.”

Spencer sighed, debating. Finally he met her eyes. “Want to go for coffee?”

 

Emily was gasping and panting as she shot upright in the bed she now shared with Aaron. She _hated_ nightmares, had thought she’d banished them to the deepest corner of her brain never to come out again. Apparently, she’d been terribly, horribly, and completely wrong. She dropped her elbows on her thighs and her head in her hands as she tried to get her breathing under control.

“Emily?”

She jolted as Aaron’s hand made contact with her shoulder, inadvertently throwing it off. She took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

“You’re having nightmares.”

It was a statement, not a question, but she nodded anyway.

“Since we left for Las Vegas.”

She should have known he’d notice. That was his job, not to mention they were often hyper-aware of each other’s movements and emotions. “The stabbings…”

He sat up and pulled her into his chest. She curled against him, feet coming to rest on the other side of his legs, knees almost to her chin. He snaked an arm between her torso and her legs, wrapping his other one around her back and pillowing his chin on her head. “We should have known.”

“I made JJ promise not to tell.”

He kissed her hair. “You should have come to me.”

She blew out a breath. “I thought they were gone.”

“We all get nightmares, Emily.”

“I know. I do. I just…I couldn’t.”

They sat in silence for a moment, Emily listening to his steady breathing, feeling her own changing to match.

“You had one tonight.”

His words startled her slightly and she dislodged his chin where it rested on her head to look at him. “I did.”

“You’re in our bed. With me.”

Damn. She hadn’t thought about that. Her eyes slid closed, an attempt to hide the pain that was in them. How was she supposed to deal with the nightmares when he didn’t help anymore? Her first tear slipped out of her closed lids and she wouldn’t have known had Aaron not brushed it away with his thumb.

“Shhh,” he said soothingly. “They go away.”

“I want them to go away now,” she whispered brokenly. “I don’t want to be scared.”

He kissed her head and smoothed down her hair. “You have nothing to be scared of.”

“Except my dreams.”

“Even if your dreams don’t know it, I’m right here Em. Right beside you. I will not let anything happen to you. I love you too much.”

The tears were cascading down her cheeks in earnest now, but she did look up. “I love you too,” she said through her tears.

“Then we’ll do this together.”

There was so much conviction in his voice that Emily had no choice but to believe him.


	76. Chapter 76

Becky knew of a quaint little place not too far from the airstrip. She’d told him it was her favourite place when she needed time away and even her partner knew better than to try and find her. She knew they’d be afforded at least a little bit of privacy in there. And she had a feeling that to get anything out of the suddenly quiet Dr Spencer Reid, she would need as much privacy as possible. He didn’t order anything, which didn’t exactly surprise her. He was already skittish. He probably didn’t need the caffeine.

“So? What happened?”

“We were dating.”

“Past tense.”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“We grew apart,” Spencer said solemnly. Yes, he was angry at JJ for pulling away so quickly and so completely but he wasn’t about to bad mouth her to a woman who had been her colleague for almost a week.

“Could you be any more vague?”

“Becky, there’s a million reasons why she could have pulled away.”

“Give me one.”

“I’m younger than she is.”

Becky raised an eyebrow. “By what? A year?”

“Three.”

“Still, it’s really not the biggest age gap I’ve heard of.”

It wasn’t the biggest one he’d heard of either. Emily and Hotch were more than a decade apart and it didn’t seem to bother them one bit.

“She threw herself into her friend’s pregnancy.”

“Bull. On her part I mean.”

“We work together.”

“Uh huh, and regardless of the rules there are workplace romances that actually work out.”

Emily and Hotch. Morgan and Garcia. But Becky didn’t need to know his team was filled with fraternization.

“We’re two totally different people.”

“And yet you’re still completely enraptured with her,” Becky pointed out. She’d been trying to flirt with him, to get him to go out for dinner with them over the case, but he hadn’t budged. It had taken her a few days to realize it was because of the petite blond in their midst. That was the point where Becky had put two and two together and though she was a little down about the fact that she didn’t have a chance with the adorable genius, she’d hoped Agent Jareau was what he was looking for.

Now that she heard about all of this, she most definitely wasn’t so sure.

For his part, Spencer sighed. He’d pondered and pondered what on earth had made JJ pulled away. It had taken him a bit but he’d found it and nowhere else but in the FBI itself. Spencer knew the grapevine was rampant with rumours and tidbits, some true, most not, and he had a feeling that it was that chain of useless information that had scared her away.

And he knew it was fear that had pulled her back. JJ was a compassionate person, one of the most compassionate he knew, but when it came down to her own relationships, she often balked. It was a matter of being absolutely terrified and he knew that. Not of commitment, per se, but of opening herself up to getting hurt. He had a feeling it had happened before and he knew there was nothing he could do or say that would make her believe otherwise. The rumours had simply made a convenient justification for her fears.

“Honestly. Some people just need to pull their heads out of their rears.”

Spencer found himself smiling at that idea. “It just doesn’t work all the time.”

“But you ended it, so you two were smart enough to start it in the first place. I can see where you’re as different as day and night, it’s almost written in your job descriptions, but still. I’ve seen people who fight constantly make a marriage work.”

“Look, I know it doesn’t make sense to you-“

“Oh, it makes perfect sense,” Becky protested. “My confusion is more from why you guys didn’t just talk about it and work through it.”

“She didn’t say anything. I can’t be a mind-reader all the time.”

“There’s a lot of things us women don’t tell you men, Spencer,” Becky told him seriously.

Spencer shook his head. “Why are you women so complicated?”

“To keep you on your toes,” Becky responded promptly and with a cheeky grin. “That was it though?”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“Heaven knows it’s not,” she agreed.

“I guess I just got sick of being dragged along like a puppy,” he told her. “When her friend got pregnant, she was all by herself, so JJ threw herself into the pregnancy to get away. We only ever saw each other at work.”

“It got too hard. That’s completely understandable.”

“I didn’t want to do it.”

Becky shrugged. “If you love something, let it go, if it comes back, it’s meant to be.”

“Wise words.”

“Not mine.”

Silence fell between them, the same comfortable silence that had characterized their friendship since the beginning. Eventually, Becky looked up at Spencer.

“Got any plans for the rest of your stay?”

“Visit my mother,” Spencer replied promptly.

Becky raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? You’re in Las Vegas and you’re going to spend the time visiting your mother? It’s sweet, but there’s a whole crap load of stuff to do.”

He shrugged. “It’s why I was here to begin with, to visit my mother.”

“You were here to get away from everything in Quantico,” she said bluntly. “We’ve just been talking about it. You were hurt, you’re human, it’s okay to admit that kind of stuff.” She stood, tossing her cardboard up in the nearby bin. “Come on, we’re going to tour Las Vegas.”

 

Days later, Spencer Reid deplaned in Washington a little bit stunned and definitely bogged down with luggage. Emily was waiting for him at the airport as she’d promised she’d be. It was just easier to have someone pick him up than it was to take a cab home. Emily had offered willingly.

“What the heck happened to you?”

Spencer sighed. “Becky.” He knew the expression on her face without looking at her. “She took me around Las Vegas.”

“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” she asked as she took some of his bags. “She take you on a shopping spree at the same time?”

“Worse.”

“Oh?”

“She made me bring something back for _everyone_.”

Emily’s eyes lit up as she started rifling through the bags. “Where’s my present?”

It was moments like these that he forgot she was his colleague and she turned into his exasperating but more than loveable older sister. He glanced down at the bags he was carrying. “I have it.”

“Well hand it over!” she ordered.

“Emily, we’re walking through the middle of a crowded airport and you want me to dig through my bags to find something Becky thought you’d like?”

“First of all, I have a strong doubt it was Det. Chard that picked out my present. Second of all, of course!”

Spencer found himself smiling. He’d enjoyed his time with Becky, but it was nice to be back with his family. 


	77. Chapter 77

“No, to the left. There!”

“Baby Girl, that’s where the thing started.”

“I know,” Penelope said with a bright smile. “I just wanted to watch you manly men lift.”

Emily laughed from the doorway where she was helping JJ move boxes upstairs. She set her box on the bottom step and headed to Hotch’s side. “Mmm, she’s right.”

“Come on! Get a room!” Penelope exclaimed as she watched Emily pull their boss in for a slow kiss.

Emily just laughed again, dodging the pillow Penelope had thrown and skipping back to her burden.

It was moving day for Penelope and Derek. They’d consolidated their belongings, picking the best from each place – or, more often than not the most sentimental – to put into their new home. Derek and Hotch had worked overtime and Emily had even enlisted her brother’s help to make sure it all got done on time. Penelope had been thrilled that the place had been finished before she’d given birth and she’d had specific design plans for each room of the house.

But the one thing she wouldn’t tell Derek a single thing about was the baby’s room. That was Penelope’s little pet project and she’d had Emily and JJ help her paint it. She’d found a gorgeous shade of dark green and fallen in love with it immediately. Since all of the furniture in the room was white, the green walls contrasted beautifully with the furniture. She’d even asked the girls to help her sponge paint stars on the ceiling. Penelope knew it was what Emily and JJ were in the process of unpacking.

“Mama, we can’t do this all day or we’ll never get everything moved in,” Derek scolded, coming over to kiss her forehead.

Penelope hummed, resting her hands on her stomach. “I can’t help it if you’re smokin’ hot.”

Derek chuckled as he shook his head at Hotch. “Em like this?”

“I wouldn’t tell you if she was.”

“Nope,” Penelope chirped helpfully. “She hasn’t said a thing and we share _everything_.” Much to her surprise, Hotch actually chuckled.

“Not quite everything, Garcia.”

The blond raised an eyebrow. “Emily Catherine Elizabeth Prentiss you have been holding out on me!” she yelled up the stairs. She grinned at Hotch when he raised an eyebrow at the use of Emily’s full name.

“I have not,” Emily replied indignantly from the top of the stairs.

“According to Lover Boy down here you most certainly have.”

“Aaron’s lying. Don’t listen.”

“Hey!” Hotch called

“Love you!” Emily responded cheerfully. “We’ve got it done Pen. Come look.”

Penelope smiled more than willing to take that change of topic. “Well gentlemen? Shall we go see the nursery?”

Derek was more than excited. He’d wanted to see their child’s room since they’d put the finishing touches on the house, but Penelope had threatened him with bodily harm should he so much as peek at what she’d done. He walked behind her as they made their way up the stairs. He was anxious to see what she’d done since she’d told him, under no uncertain terms, that they were going to be surprised by Peanut’s sex.

JJ and Emily stood to the side of the room, proudly displaying their handiwork. Penelope gasped as she took in what her friends had done with the furniture and the toys. “Guys,” she said, voice filled with teary emotion. “This is fantastic.”

Emily and JJ grinned.

“We tried to stay close to the original plan,” Emily began.

“But then, well…”

“It’s wonderful,” Derek reassured them. Penelope had outdone herself. The green against the white was a fantastic contrast. It wasn’t the light colours he usually associated with a child, but it was elegant and so Penelope, that it didn’t really matter.

“You think Peanut will like it?” Penelope asked, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

Derek wrapped his arms around Penelope’s stomach. “I think Peanut will love it.”

“Derek Morgan where on earth are you?”

Derek’s blood froze. “Mom?”

 

Even with Fran in the house, Derek and Penelope had been adamant that the team stay, help them finish unpacking and eat dinner, just like they’d promised. Since Saturday had been a day of moving everything into the house, Sunday had been designated as they day that they actually unpack it. None of them had even thought of considering Fran Morgan showing up in surprise.

JJ had opted for the outside, while Emily and Hotch had volunteered to unpack the office. Emily swore she’d disconnected and reconnected computers so many times it would be easy. It left JJ with really nothing to do since Fran, Derek and Penelope were in the living room. The blond sighed. Things today had been… different. Awkward. She and Spencer hadn’t talked all that much since he’d returned from Las Vegas two weeks before unless it was work-related. She’d wanted to give him time and wanted to see if he and Becky, well, had something. If they did, she wasn’t about to infringe on that.

She turned when she heard the back door open and stopped.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“It’s okay,” she said, smiling at Spencer tightly.

“I’ll just-“

“We’re going to have to find common ground soon,” she said quietly, not a trace of accusation in her voice. “The team is a family. We can’t be on awkward terms forever.”

He stood frozen in the doorway for a moment before making a decision and stepping out. The July air was warm, the breeze just perfect to hold off the humidity. “You’re right.”

They stood in silence for a few moments, about three feet of space between them. “How’s Becky?” she asked finally, unable to stop herself. She slammed her eyes closed. “I’m sorry, it’s not any of my-“

“She’s a good friend,” Spencer replied, interrupting her. He had no idea why he was telling this to JJ. It wasn’t her place and what did it matter to her if he was seeing the detective? Who was he kidding? He knew exactly why JJ was asking the question and exactly why he was specific enough to call Becky a friend.

“Do you talk to her a lot?”

“Enough,” Spencer replied, watching JJ out of the corner of his eye.

She sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Not just for prying, for everything. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about what happened for awhile I guess, I just… I didn’t want to bog you down if you had something good going for you.”

Spencer turned to face her. “Just because our relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends, Jenn.”

The use of her real name made her shiver. He was still the only person that had called her that since high school. “I’m so sorry, Spence.”

“For what?”

“For being stupid. For listening to stupid rumours. For not talking to you about what was going on in my head when I could talk to you about it before,” she answered. “The list is long.”

Spencer shrugged. “Maybe it just wasn’t supposed to happen.”

JJ sighed. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “The feelings were there. They’re still there.”

“Me too,” Spencer admitted. “We’re just-“

“Too different,” JJ finished for him with a tight smile and a nod. They were silent for a few moments. “Do you think it’ll ever work again?”

“Maybe,” Spencer said honestly. “Someday.”

She faced him then, leaning against the railing just like he was. “I do still want to be friends.”

“So do I,” he promised her.

JJ took a deep breath as she held out her hand. “Friends?”

Spencer took it with a smile. “Friends.”

JJ knew she had a lot of work to do, a lot of trust to regain from him, but that was okay with her, because striking their friendship a new was a start. And everything had to start with baby steps.

 

“You mean to tell me, Derek, that the love of your life has been pregnant for seven months and you didn’t see fit to tell me?”

Derek had figured his mother would be a little less than impressed with the fact that he had yet to tell her about Penelope’s pregnancy in their weekly conversations, but he didn’t figure she’d been this upset. “Mom-“

“My first grandchild, Derek Morgan and you were going to hide it?”

“Not at all Mrs Morgan.”

“It’s Fran, dear, we’ve talked about this.”

Penelope smiled sweetly. “That was never our intention Fran.”

“We’ve been busy Mom. We haven’t had the chance to call.”

“For seven months? And you could have told me during one of our conversations. We talk every week.”

“I wanted to be there when he told you,” Penelope said honestly. “I didn’t want him to have to explain things by himself.”

“So how long have you been dating then? Since the last time I was here?”

“It’s more complicated than that,” Derek replied honestly. “We’ve kind of done everything a little backwards.”

Fran raised her eyebrow. “I thought you were always careful.”

“Mom!”

Fran waved her hand. “It’s irrelevant now. When’s the wedding?”

Penelope froze. “What?”

“Mom, we’re not getting married.” _Not yet anyway_ , he thought to himself.

“She’s pregnant.”

“Pen? Can you come help me with something?” Emily called from upstairs.

Both Derek and Penelope rolled their eyes. It was to perfect for them to believe she hadn’t been eavesdropping. “Coming!” Penelope replied. “Excuse me.”

Derek waited until Penelope had gone carefully up the stairs before turning to his mother. “She won’t marry me.”

“Why not? She loves you.”

“I know. And she knows, but she wants to make sure we’re not just getting married for Peanut, that we can really make this work.”

“You’ve moved in together,” Fran said confused.

“I told you, backwards. Pregnancy, cohabitation, dating, then probably an engagement and marriage.”

Fran blew out a breath. “That is backwards.”

Derek chuckled. “Mom, why are you here?”

“I had some time,” she told him. “And I wanted to see the new place. Is the nursery up?”

Derek shook his head. What was it with women and babies? “Come on, I’ll show it to you.”


	78. Chapter 78

“Bunny?”

Emily looked up from behind the bar where she was packing her glasses carefully into a box. “Daddy?”

“There you are! The door was open, you had me scared.”

“What are you doing here?” she asked, happily standing to hug her father. “I thought you were still in Europe.”

“Got back yesterday. What are you doing?”

“Em? Do you have the next- Hello Senator Prentiss.”

“Aaron,” Jonathan greeted in response. “I was just asking my daughter what was going on.”

“I’m moving, Daddy,” Emily said with a wide smile, bringing her father’s attention back to her.

“You’re moving?”

“I am.”

“Where?” It was the look Emily shot at Aaron that give it away. “You’re moving in with Aaron.”

“Mmhmm.”

“I didn’t think you were that serious.”

“Daddy!” Emily exclaimed. Then, she sighed. “There’s a couple of bedroom boxes upstairs that are ready to go,” she said, telling both Aaron and Derek who had come in behind him. The whole team had come out to pitch in, though Spencer was helping Penelope ‘supervise’.

She took her father to the couch, sitting him down. “You knew it was that serious from the moment you saw us at Thanksgiving.”

“That was two years ago.”

“And we’re still here.”

“And you’re moving.”

“And I’m moving.”

“It’s a big step.”

“I want to.” There was a pause. “You were happy for me when I was with Aaron at Thanksgiving.”

“I am happy for you,” he told her sincerely. He looked down at himself. “I’m sorry I’m not better dressed to help. I had to make a stop at the office-“

Emily laughed. “It’s okay,” she promised. “We’ve got more than enough hands and I’m not even completely packed.”

Jonathan nodded. “Well, I was going to see if you were up to lunch, but you’re busy.”

“Rain check?” She hadn’t seen her father in a long time and she definitely wanted to spend some time with him.

“I’ll give Chris a call and see if we can nail down a time this week. You make sure to give me the new home phone number okay?”

Emily walked him to the door. “I can do that,” she promised. “Give my love to Mother.”

“Of course,” Jonathan replied, kissing her forehead and hugging her close. “I’m happy for you, Bunny.”

“Thanks, Daddy.”

 

“This is the last one,” Derek said, carting a box into the living room of Aaron’s, and now their, home.

Emily couldn’t stop smiling. “Thanks Derek. Can you take it upstairs? It’s bedroom stuff.”

“Sure thing.”

Emily wandered into the kitchen where Penelope was resting and JJ was unpacking. Derek had steadfastly refused to let Penelope lift so much as a piece of lint and though Emily thought he was over-reacting – due any day or not, Penelope wasn’t invalid – she’d let him have his way.

“So what now, Em?”

“I’m sorry?” Emily asked to clarify as she went back to helping JJ unpack her kitchen things. Aaron had most of it, so much of her stuff was going into storage in the basement, but there were a few things he liked better than his own and she was more than willing to share.

“Well, I believe the theory is that every woman wants a good man, a good career and lots and lots of comfortable shoes,” Penelope responded with a grin.

“Then I guess all I need are the shoes,” Emily giggled.

“We can definitely take care of that,” JJ said happily. Though things with her and Spencer hadn’t been completely patched up, the month since their talk on Penelope and Derek’s back porch had gone a long way to making things less awkward. And less awkward made JJ happier.

“As soon as Peanut’s here. The last thing I need is to go into labour on a gorgeous pair of red pumps,” Penelope sighed dreamily.

JJ and Emily laughed, well aware that Penelope had been all but banned from heels as her pregnancy moved along, by Derek, by her friends and by herself. “Soon.”

“I sure as heck- Oh!”

Emily was leaning over Penelope’s side in half a second. “Pen?”

“I think my water just broke.”

There was a flurry of activity as JJ raced up the stairs to tell the men and Emily set about calming Penelope down. This was the part, Emily knew, the blond was absolutely terrified of. Penelope didn’t respond well to pain of any sort. “Have you been having contractions?”

“I guess?” Penelope responded. “There’s been pain for the last couple of days but the doctor said they were just Braxton Hicks.”

Emily chuckled. “Apparently not. Think you can make it to the car?”

Penelope nodded, standing with Emily’s help. Derek rushed in then, taking her other side.

“Hey Mama.”

“You know, that’s still not funny.” She hissed as a contraction hit.

Emily and Derek waited it out before quickly and carefully walking her to the car. They had her buckled in the back seat with JJ, Spencer riding shotgun, when Derek turned to his best friend. “Her bag’s at home,” he said frantically.

Emily smiled. “It’s okay. Aaron and I’ll grab it on our way to the hospital, okay? We’re right behind you.” She knew Derek was nervous, knew Penelope was scared and so she tried to keep as calm as possible.

Derek kissed her cheek. “You’re the best, Em.”

“Go, get her to the hospital. But don’t you dare let her have that baby until Aunt Em gets there, got it?”

Derek laughed. “I make no guarantees.”

Aaron came out behind them, locking the door to the house, carrying Emily’s purse. Emily and Derek split, going to separate cars. “We need to stop by Derek and Pen’s for her bag,” Emily said as she climbed in the passenger’s seat.

“Then let’s go. I know you want to be there for Pen.”

“I want to see my godchild,” Emily replied with a wide grin. “It’s exciting.”

Aaron couldn’t help but mirror her grin. “That it is.”

 

“Hey Baby Girl,” Derek greeted, coming into the room Penelope had in the hospital. They’d kicked him out while they got her settled, but he was much happier by her side.

“I’m going to kill you.”

He chuckled lightly. Emily had warned him she was likely to say things like that. Apparently her sister-in-law had threatened her brother with castration while she was in labour. “I know. I love you too.”

“Oh, there is no love here, mister. I am in _pain_.” She managed to squeeze out the last word as she reached for her hand. She clamped down hard as another contraction hit. She relaxed and released her breath when it had passed.

“Damn, woman, you’re going to break my hand!”

“You’re going to break my hips with this child,” she responded. “Goodness Peanut had better not be stubborn. I am not lying here in labour for twenty-three hours because Peanut doesn’t want to come out and see Mommy and Daddy.”

“I doubt you’ll be in labour that long, Pen.” Dr Dan Alistair had been Charlotte Prentiss’ OB/GYN and the doctor that had delivered little baby Prentiss. Charlotte had recommended the man when Penelope had found out she was pregnant. “It seems like Peanut wants to come out and see the world.”

“Well could you tell Peanut to hurry up then? Mommy’s dying.”

Dr Alistair chuckled. “The epidural is still a choice.”

Penelope shook her head. “Give him morphine though,” she said, waving at Derek. “I’m going to break his hand.”

“We’ve had more than one mother do that,” Dr Alistair reassured her.

“Hey guys,” Emily greeted, poking her head in. “I’ve got the bag here.”

“Oh thank God,” Penelope said. “Emily, I’m dying.”

“You’re not dying, stop being a drama queen,” Emily answered affectionately. “Did you decide to take the epidural?”

“No,” Derek answered for her. “She’s being stubborn.”

“She’s breaking your hand instead,” Penelope shot back. “Why the hell did you have to go get me pregnant?”

Emily burst out laughing.


	79. Chapter 79

“Hey there Little Baby Girl.”

Derek looked down at his daughter, cradled in his arms. Penelope had fallen asleep after eight hours of labour leaving Derek with the baby. The team had gone home almost an hour before, after the little girl had been passed around to each of her Aunties and Uncles while Mommy and Daddy argued about what to call her. It had finally been settled after three hours of intense debate and comments from the general peanut gallery.

Gabriella Catherine Garcia-Morgan was the apple of her Daddy’s eye and she hadn’t even left the hospital. Derek couldn’t get over how small she was. Since the team had left he’d counted her fingers and toes, twice, and hadn’t taken his hands off of her since she’d been returned to him.

“You are one lucky kid you know,” he said quietly, not wanting to wake Penelope. She hadn’t managed to actually break his hand, but he had a few cracked bones. His hand was wrapped, but he still cradled his little girl with ease.

“You’ve got a Mommy that is going to adore you. She’s going to spoil you too, though probably not as bad as I will. Or your Aunties. Aunt Em is already talking about going shopping with your Aunt JJ so she can find things for you. Em says you’re going to grow fast so you’re going to need lots of clothes and things. Before we know it you’ll be crawling.

“And you’ve got the best uncles a girl could ask for, you know that? You’ve got your gangly Uncle Reid. You’ll think he’s a little weird, but he’s the closest thing I’ve got to a kid brother. He can be a little nerdy at times, but we’re trying to cure him of that. And Uncle Hotch can be a little scary, but Aunt Em says he’s a big teddy bear.

“And that’s just your BAU family, Ellie,” he continued. He knew the world would call her Gabi, and he had a feeling the team would have a hard time letting go of Peanut, but he wanted a name all to himself. “Your Grandma is going to hover and spoil you like no body’s business. You’re her first grandkid, you know. She’s so proud of you and you haven’t even come home yet. And your Aunt Sarah and Aunt Dee… I think they’re going to come visit once we’ve got you settled in at home. You’re going to be the center of attention for a long time, Beautiful.

“But the one thing you will never have to worry about is being safe. I’m not exactly sure about this whole Daddy thing, but I know that I love you from the bottom of my heart. I love your Mommy too and I’ll do whatever I have to, to make sure you girls are safe. You’re my world, Ellie. And I absolutely adore you. You can come to me with anything, okay? I don’t care what it is, I want you to know I’m going to be there for you. And so are your aunts and so are your uncles.”

“Derek?”

“Hey there, Hot Stuff.”

“Are you talking to our daughter?”

He smiled as he stood, Gabi still fast asleep in his arms. “Just telling her what to expect.”

“Did you tell her about dating yet? About how Mommy’s going to be her best friend then because Daddy will be sitting there with his badge and gun when the boy comes to pick her up?”

Derek looked down at the little baby, one tiny hand resting against her cheek. “She’s not dating until she’s forty. Not if she looks like you.”

“Mmm, if she looks like you, you mean.”

“I’m not having that argument with you.”

Penelope laughed softly. She looked at Derek and at Gabi, still in awe. “Derek, look what we did.”

“It’s unreal,” he agreed. He handed Gabi over to her mother, watching as Penelope smiled down at the newborn. He moved so one leg was resting up on the bed, his weight leaning towards his girls. He kissed her hair, hand running through the mussed curls. “You’re going to be a fantastic mother, Pen.”

Penelope smiled slightly. “How can something this small be so terrifying?”

“I don’t know,” Derek answered with a chuckle. He kissed her head again, then tilted her head up to kiss her mouth. “I love you. And I love Gabi. I love our family.”

Penelope felt tears spring to her eyes and sniffled. “I love our family too.”

 

“Marry me.”

Emily looked up at Aaron from just below his chin. They’d gotten home from the hospital not half an hour before, exhausted but happy for their friend and glowing with godparent pride. They were lying in bed, drifting off, her boxes piled in the living room since they hadn’t gotten to unpack them before rushing off to the hospital. “What?”

“Marry me.”

Emily pushed herself up, looking down at the man she loved in shock. “You’re serious.”

“Of course I’m serious,” he replied, his fingers tickling up and down her arm. “I even have the ring.”

Her eyes widened. Unexpected was an understatement in describing what she felt. “Aaron-“

“I had it all planned out,” he told her. “The dinner, the flowers, the music, the romance… Then I saw little Gabi today and Em, I want that. So much it hurts.”

She knew the feeling. When she’d seen Pen holding Gabi, she’d wanted nothing more than to have one of her own. But she wanted to do it ‘right’. “It’s sudden.”

He sighed. “You know, you’ve protested almost every major step in our relationship.”

“You know, we’ve had a pretty unconventional relationship from day one,” she shot back. “Falling in love because I almost died, sharing ‘I love you’s after you were almost shot, asking me to move in against an alley wall…”

“Which you still haven’t finished doing.”

“Pen and Derek wanted to move in before Gabi was born and I need a moving break. It’s just the big things anyway.” Most of her clothing and knickknacks were already spread around the house.

“You have two weeks to be moved in, Em.”

“We’re digressing.”

“I know. I figured you were changing the subject for a reason.”

“I want to marry you, you know that.”

“You want the romance.”

Emily looked down at Aaron. Why was she holding back? It was what she wanted so who cared if it wasn’t the perfect romantic moment? Who cared if they were half asleep in bed after watching Penelope give birth? Did it matter where or under what circumstances he proposed or did it matter that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her? “Yes.”

“Then we do the romance-“

“No.”

“I’m confused.”

Emily cupped his face in her hands, well aware that there were tears in her eyes. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Aaron moved, sitting up and swinging his legs out of bed.

“Where are you going?”

“To get the ring. If you’re saying yes I want to give it to you now.”

Emily moved so she was sitting on her heels, legs tucked beneath her as he rifled through his briefcase. “Seriously? You take it to work with you?”

“You can’t find it if I have it all the time,” he pointed out logically, bringing the little black box towards her. “And since it was all planned out I didn’t want you to find it and ruin it.”

“You did,” she pointed out, taking the box with shaking hands.

“I couldn’t wait,” he replied.

“I don’t mind.” She took a deep breath before flipping open the box. It was a white-gold ring, her favourite and stunning in its simplicity. There was nothing but the single diamond, square cut and Emily’s perfect size. She heard herself sniffle before she realized she was crying.

He took the ring box from her, pulling her off the bed to stand. He got on one knee, in his boxers, her in his t-shirt and a pair of panties, tears in her eyes. “Marry me, Emily,” he said, presenting the ring box to her.

“Yes,” she replied, trying to stop her hands and voice from shaking.

Aaron slid the ring onto her finger, feeling the swell of emotion in his stomach. She was his and she was going to marry him. He couldn’t think of anything better.


End file.
